HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1879-3-27, Page 7310.01-: 27, 1878
THE TIMES.
WIT AND HUMOR..
Of no consequence iu society --Dumb
Vella.
:Storm generally are a mystery, bat
you'cau always see the drift of a snow
storm.
A dull lecturer resembles a balky
horse in one respeot: he doesn't draw
well.
There's a skeleton in every closet,
widish is mere than olau be said to every
grave now -a -days.
The orthographical difference between
a sick girl duel a brickbat is that cue is
a missile toed the other a miss ill,
'ioTfirol yon Ia very prof tablecoucern,"
as the eras . t 1, 1rlft'.11ral:tt . tid to 118 cis•
torn, tai i thee sager dealer to the sand'
bat: k.
An old alga captain says that when
{ IH's41)1. •rd ship he its never gt)verued by.
?hie tnfate, bat wit 11 he ie at home he
always ie.
The maul who profits by his own ex•
lierieuce is wi!:o, but he i,; a groat deal
wiser tvtltl 1 • td elle rtattlosuake bite the
others felto,v.
The other clay e man died so sudden-
ly that the body was alluoxt cold before
the distracted and grief stricken friends
cfiscovored elle will.
1Vhilo Indian females sometimes'
fill their mouths with water to keep
tueludrlvee quiet, our women fill tlleirs.
with tea, and gossip more than ever.
Thorupeon says you may talk cf your
water euros, your movement cures, anti
your blue glass cures, but there is
nothing like the sinecure after all.
It is a feet fully understood by rail-
road amen that the linos llaviug the
most long tunnels on the route secure
the bulk of the bridal -tour trach.
"I fear yon are forgetting me," said
et bright-eyed conquette to her favorite
beau."Yes, Carrie, I have been for get-
ting you these three years," was the
suggestive reply.
"Were there cats.in the ark?"is a
question that is troubling the religious
editor of an exahauge. Certainly there
were, and the first thing they said after
leaving the ancient craft was ; "If
there's Ararat round here we want to
gopher it."
Josh Billings says Caushou iz a good
tiling for a man to hay., but when he
has got two much ov it, that he is nfrid
o titch It east iron lion, for it will bite
ignorance is what is the matter with
plan.
'They have a cheerful horserailread
in a city in a neighboring State. One
terminus is at a cemetery, and the
oohor is at the State prison.
`•An Irish lad complaining of the
harsh treatment received from his
father, said ; "Ile treats me as if I wee
his son by another father and mother."
"Samba, why am dat Barky down daz
In de holo ob de boat like a chicken, in
de egg? "Because he coulden't get out
if it wasen't for de hatch."
Au old miser having heard a power-
ful discourse ou charity, said; "that
sermon so strongly proves the necessity
of alws—ulviug that -I've almost a
rniud to beg.
A Boaster, in telling of a battle he
was in, said : ''Our colonel fall dead in
my arras, his bead carried away by a
commit 1;a11, and his last words were,
bury me wbere, "I fell."
An old bachelor accidentally dropped.
his false teeth into a grate of burning
coals, "Never mind, uncle," said the
nephew, it isu't the first time 1 have
known you to grate your teeth.
An old pian who luta been badly
hurt in a railway coilison, being advised
to sae for dalnag;es, said, "Well no, not
for damages I've had enough of them,
I'a just sue 'ein for repairs."
Said a railroad engineer to an Irish
Man, whose cow had been killed: "Bat
ehe'didn t get out of the way when I
rang the bell." "Faith, teen," said Pat
"ye didn't,• stop when she rang he:
hell, leather."
CAUSES OF UNPROFITABLE
FARMING
jwriter in the Prairie Farmer for-
2nlilates 12 reasons why farming does
iiot pay. This is an important question,
especially in the depre.;sed position of
our markets, when produee of all kinds
barely pays the coat of preduction. We
call particular attenliou to the fullow-
iug
1, The enormous loss which Many
farmers sustain from she neglected con-
dition of the inennre piles.
2. The exposure of feem nacl)iuety
to the inolemeueies of the weather.
8. The loss which is sustaiucd ill
keeping more animals than the owner
eau properly provide food and shelter
for.
4. Raising scrubby and indifferent
enituals when good Does Mould he missed
itt the dame cost and twice the profit.
5. Tilling more land than can be
propel ly cultivated, thereby raising on
tole acres that which might be more
profitably raked on one.
0, Making specialties of certain oropa
to the ultimate exhaustion of the eoil.
7. Dieposiug of the grope iu alae eon -1I
dawnin wbieh they Are raised instead
of converting theta lute beef, pork or
mutton.
8. In neglecting to properly attend
to the little,det.tils of the farm.
0. In not keeping a strict account of
the transactions of the farm.
10, In not using proper j udgmene in
disposing of the produce of the farm,
and the purchase of machinery and
other neeeesat'les.
11. Iu purchasing provisions which
should be raised at glome.
12, Iu not having.enough machinery
to properly harvest and nave the crop.
No doubt to some, or all of them
may be traced the failure of a number
of farmers.
EDUCATION IN ENG -LAND.
An English writer has been sharply
criticising the management of tale Lon-
don public sohool,known as the" Board
School," and produces the following
Its apeeimens of the written examiva-
Lions of some of the solu 'ars ;
"`hero is turkey?"
"Turkey is the capital of Narfalk."
Where is Turiu?"
"Tureen is the capital of Chimer, the
poepul there live on bards nests and
have long tails.
"Gibberraltor is the 1 riucipal town
of Rooshia."
"Wliat do you know of the patriarch
Abraham?"
"He was the father of Lot, and ad
tow wifes—wan was called Ilishmalt
and the t'otber Haygttr. He kept wall
at home, and he turned t'other into
the dessert, wheto she became a pillow
of salt in the day time salad a pillow of
fire at mite."
"What do you know of Joseph?"
"He woar a 'coat of nisuy garments.
He warn chief butler to Faro, and told
his dreams. He married Potiffers dar-
ter, and he led the Gypsliune out of
Kana, in Gallileo, and then fell on his
=word and (Bed in site of the promised
land "
" Give the names of the books of the
Old Testintent."
"Devonshire, Exeter, Littikus. Num -
hers, Stronomy, Jupiter, Judgement,
Ruth, etc."
"What is a miracle ?"
"Don't know."
" If you saw the sun shining over
you at midnight, what would you call
it ?"
"The moon."
But if you were told it was the sun?'
"I should say it was a lie."
"Ant,ther boy, giving his impression
in regard to Moses, wrote as fellows ;
"He was anEgypshuu. He lived it,
a hark made of bull -rustles, and hf
kept a golden calf, aud worehipet bra•
zin snakes, mud he het nuthin bo:
kwales and manlier for forty years.
ae was kort by the air of hes ed while
rideing under the bow of a tree, and he
was killed by his sou Abslon, as ho wad
haugin from the bow. His end wry -
pease!"
"What is meant by conscience?"
said a school master to hie class.
The almost satnultaneous reply rl'
half their number was ;
"A hin ward monitor."
Au inspector who happend to
present, enquired ;
"And what do you understand
monitor."
"A hironchad."
When these rouug hopefuls grow up
they will edit English newspapers alit=
tell ns Canadians that we don't know
the political requirements of Canada.
Pot=ash Kettles, Scheel seats, &c.
STOP DRINKING VINEGAR. Iron. and Brass Castinso's to order'
Ilow tunny young woman who have
inherited a pretlispositinn to embonpoint For sale cheap --Second hand Boilers and Entxires Shave
have ruined their health by drinkilie ;ahiugle, and Heading .Macuiuery,
Repairs on Boilers, Eugites, glints, &e., promptly attended to.
CaODERICf FOUNDRY and M . TTJ A,CTLURINlx co.
GODERICH. Out.
bt'
b'
CLF,ARInG SALT
LEGAL
BEFORE TA:..ING STOCK lCADDY,
: A'RRISmEi
ATTORN
F y
SAMWELL mo_�TCKARD t:AoIO2w, Solctor, d;c, O3oe, ransou'sfileek
Will offer for each or 10 Days the balance of their Tall and Winter Goods at Cost o AIDING HARDING, & WHITE,
Os a as t0 ,I IS arbiters, Avtorneye, Solleitora,Com-
sl0ners;I:.
Sittt/ury'roe—Hurroxs. 's Bx.oan, Water troet, St
tuun 55.Hannxxo,E W.U4.anxNe. H,A.L.Rnrre
make room for their Spring Stook. All goods we shall offer aro new goods bought for this
Season's Trade at lower prices,
LADIES' MANTLES, at cost, HEAVY MANTLE CLOTHES, at cost. MEN'S and BOY'S'
OVERCOATS, at soot, MINK SETS and MUFFS, at cost. FUR CAIS, at cost.
CLOUDS and SOARES, at cost. Also a full assortment of general
DRY GOODS, ]300TS and SHOES, HATS -CAPS,
CHINA TEA SETS and CROCKERY whioh will be
offerod at bottom prices we are glad to say our stock is
not large but fully assorted in all lines.
Although this has been a. very hard season, we are
happy to say our mode of doing business has been ap-
preciated by the public as 'aur sales for past year has far
exceeded our expectations. Thank all customers and
patrons for past favors and still solicit your patronage.
SAMWELL & PICKARD.
Exeter, Ont,
Furniture and Undertaking.
S. F AilRB_+.I11N has on haus at Iienseli as large
and as handsome a stock of FURNITURE as can be
found in any establishment in Huron, all of which )3e
IS PREPARED TO SELL 011EAP i
UNDERTAKING IN ALL ITS BRANCHES
Having procured a handsome hearse, ile is prepared
to attend to UNDERTAKING,
On the Most Reasonable Terms.
[n connection with the Undortaldng Business, he uses the :Anti -Septic Fluid, which preserves
ho body and destroys all offensive odors, and prevents contagion arising from dead bodies. A call
respectfully solicited. B. ,d AX1113.L IIIIM .
1878)
THE OLD
NV' MoDIARMID, B.A.,
.t:tttAST 1:It,NOTARY, CONVEYANCER
&C.aucese,.
1�q ESSIIS. 'ONES & MOSCRIP
I 1 A n,,rr:eters, Attorney's -at -lam, S:t.'tr+itors
Itur:oe,ry, Cottveyanctars, 0omMissionots iut t.
t'I•!
Notaries St,iAtaxy's
C. S..T0'U ;i, tilirSClaIi'.
0+;' '1 --glutton's Itloek. 1,1‘.- ft 3isry's
It. a:'t)`WEN. O:t'I''ICls:, MAIN
Htrc•nt, Exet•r, ap•stdirs, opposite Central
ITr:tel. S=ilo autraiwe, on tine suuth—street lead -
go to 11, (;, Church.
f--
Gains left at nriuo!s shoe store will receive
prouert attention, 49.1y.
FI . IHUTCHINSO 1, , Member of
V the College of Physicians and Surgeons of
Ontario, fie., etc., Main Street, Exeter.
JJlt. HXNJJMAN —CORONER FOR
the County of Huron. t)flloo,next door to
lrfr, I. Oarling's store, Exeter.
pW. BROWNING M. D., C. M.
• P. 8, Graduate VietoriaUniversity- Offico
and residence, Don :.tion laboratory, Exeter,
1 C. MOORE, M.1).0. M.
Ue Graduate of:tioGGillUuiversitv,llfoutreal
Otllae and residence, Exeter, Ont. Oftlee L mum—
to 1oa.mand 7to10u,m
flR. J. A. ROLLINS, M. C. E. S.
0., 'notoria St. Croditou, Ont, Mice house
from 9 to 10 a. m.; 2 to lip. in.
LU'i'Z, M. D.,
• Office at his residence, Exeter.
FIR. IRVING, GRADUATE UNI:
JV V1:RSITY Trinity College M ernt:orOollege
Prtvsiciaus and surgeont Ont., oftioeElrkton.
HOTELS.
`IENTi1AL HOTEL, CREDITON
i —Win. i3aker proprietor. This Rotel has
been newly furnished and fitted up in first-class
style. Large and convenient Show ltootns for
(1Con_merciai 2'ravellors ; best of liquors and cigars
�f Q attbe Bar. Attentive ostlers always on hand.
! �./ M 21-3m. IiWILLTA3I BARER,
0
RELIABLE%SCO CT T DRINCE OF WALES HOTEL,
OLIN VON. G. WARTS having purchased
It all times, and particularly at a period wheu Trade is universally depressed and mousy
wane. It is in the interest of every buyer to purchase whore he can get the artiole he wants
tt theiowess rate. In calling your attention to my present stock, I d0 so with evevy contid
once; it being more carefully assorted and sleeted than that of any previous season.
0
In the Dry Goods
Every department is replete with the most seasonable and fashionable fabrics, narked • a
prices which should command the attention of t114 very closest bnyors. -„,TRE ORDERED
CLOTHL'ar:a•still has an. Iv,IVES at it,head
In Millinery
Undorthe ma:agementof Hiss McGloghlon, we can suit the most fastidious. Our stock of
Groceries Boots and Shoes C d' E 1' h 1 American
c o , Can
ian, ng Is anc
Shelf and Heavy Hardware
ane of the largest and best assorted in the County. Intending purchasers will consult their
best interests by examining my stock before going elsewhere.
JAMES PICKA.RD
'xOD�IRICl
Y
FOU NDJI
Founders, Engineers and Machinists.
MANUJ•ACTUBERS Or
:'lNGINES .AND BOILERS, FLOURING, GRIST AND SAW MILLS
STAVE AND HEADING McCHINERYi
Mid sling Purifiers of improved kinds.
Agric uI ura Implements
COOKING, PARLOR AND BOX STOVES
vinegar to reduce their forms to grace.-
fnf proportions. Allan's Anti -Fat
abenlntely harmless. It promotes di
=;esti:,n, and accomplishes its work dint.
lily by preventing an undue ssyimilntioe
of the fatty itlgredieuts of the food.
Ex esaive fatness is a vexations burden,
and there is no longer any exeue fol
endnriilg it, since Allau's Anti Feet
au effr'ctnal remedy for this abnormal
condition,
Colorado Springs, Colo., Juty 15th,I878.
Bor NIo .ROILING Co., Bvff.tla. N.Y.:
Gentleman -1 lost throb poun:y3
while tatting ono bottle of Allan's Anti'
Fat. Yonrs army,
Mits. M. B. Moms.
G[7' TO.rffv DEra R'ifidrac., '1,
VO DISCOUNT WILL BE AL•
lowed on American Invoices nntilfurt1i '
notice.
I..in!IN9nN,
Doc, 4,'iS.tl 0:tmmisr.ioner of ('cottorn
AVE!Tel Y()L17:OST'THE Ass's SE (i
TASTE On S1iIP:3:I, 9 I so_, it nnty be
the Inirnosy of the 10th century, Arnititlr
CONah'x'1MITONAL ('a!Lhutieat E:IMtDS. 1,111 1 •
you to or.joyablo heel to Itnat only t, c•
tarrh, but all other dteoaees at, tilt ra
Trice 1,1 per pottle. Pot sale by all .t.nl •
'Medicine dealers. ata d stamp for 9h 1
plica containing treatise on Catct� t,, eat t
O1atca of the cured to. ''C. li, I'I, l,rl)!,�, lx, ! i i. •
ion Agent, Brcckvilte,0't. .
(IONsTI'rtrTIONAL CA.''aiittl •
Tito oily certain ettfn, and etraetl, c1
(tat& rrh, builds up vie wyetcnt and - t . , , ;
d tinases.atthe some Nino, As ht 1
Itay fervor, Nnrvuus 1)ebility, t 1l 1 t• ,
When the Copalttututian,..t (:ata u. 1, a,r +•.
!.when as directed Pura ;yl pt
by an deur, i+tt.:, 12 eeltr'1, 1 r
and
having triumphed itt the pons,
ISAAC LI
1:; prepared to give all his eustcomree toe b tr cats that will accrue from its adoption, and has on
hand a large stook of
Dry` O'oods, Groceries, Wines and
• Liquors, Crockery, Etc.,.
At his Store, MM:7iu Street, Exeter, which will be sold at
Whtoh will be sold at prices unheard of under :e'roo Trade.;
The farmers of the sur'roullding country will find it to their ad-
vantage to sell their produce without paying market
:fens, 011 tilt; lilxeter marlcet,whieh is second
tel uot;e in the west, and then
rllll tat” , t1:1+tore of`the '1'hscrillcr and
iII
Slcc It t 'scall' ec r r ' ,ie I
1llt1re to'" be 11.',.1 ill. Overooubing, fi n11.t31oths, 13ro d -cloth
T u •3 skins, Sills, \V nceys, DelaiLes, and s-erytmtt1�; 1
tiat� -1od i'i the Dry Goods lino. rTi-e Groc ry
Der1n_..:.t. - very le t state,.. An .LF 1(.. filth 1l. , . t 41
)1
rRi.. trou1�1kti 1 . Oto Flt'
1.3AC ( C�11�1G.;
i the abov, hotel, and fitted it throughout, non- of-
fore first-class accommodation to travelers, Good
liquor and cigars ttttho bar. Good stabling and
attentive hostler ou hand. Every attention paid
to guests.
• its g-+•atand thorough blood -purifying r -
• llc: 1 h -re 'v t:'hln1 lab :, , t Eisen:• Y. .rt•a
• :, humor.. from de, wo:•at. Scrofula to a :on
:-mtele, Pimple, cd• Eruption. 3,arrttrha etc ease,.
i:ineral l'ots.ma, land their (-(.'acts, ern eradicated;
•end t•tgoron:, 1,- ith un+l le sound co -net -1M ton est:th-
1:•]ha 1. Ervsipel0', bnit.rbenm, rover bores, Sealy
•a
Rough Skin, In short, till t ir.eses canard 1:.y tele
toed, are erniqucred by glass powerful,ptuifying, and
vigor:, Ing mutilchte,
E iweinily Ides It ivanIfestcd its potency In curia.^,
Tetter. hose Ducie 2iutte, {lurbuncico, gore fres,
s rofulorw Sores and Swellings, White Swellings,.
Goitre or Thiel; Neck, tend Enlarged Lnra,de.
1f yon feel dull, drowsy, Qchlittaterl, have sallow
color of stat,, ur ycllowlsh-brown spots en face er•
body, frequent hecltl:trite or ditainess, bad tanto in
sleuth, internal heat or chills alternated with hot
Iitches.lolvs0irits,etnrlgtoorttyforebodings, itregular
:1
most Ito,end tomato coated,. you tiro suffering, Trout
Tornt i aver, or wititloa.nes,." In many cases of
rarer complaint Drily part of these symptoms are
1 'pt•ric•need. .1a n remedy for all audit cases, nr.
Pleree', hiolden Medical Discovery has no equal, as
it vil'ects prefect and radical cures.
In the cure of Urouehttts. Severe Coughs, and the
early Otto Of Consumption, 1l. has astonished the
het t eulh tinct eminent phystehtns pronominal
tt Cu,.tate stet medical discovery of the age. While
,t cu :I lu severest Coughs. tt strengtttenatite system
1. purities the bleed. Sold by druggists.
1'. V. PIiIWIt, l'1. ti.. Prop'/•, Worid'a Dispensary
t !ed Invade" Hotel, Iluliale, N. Y.
leve
asaut
sioZE � ��
PELLETS '`% ��`p+
GIANT"
000
THE "LtT7>( f,.THARIIc,
N•o use of tN:ing the !s ego, repulstvo, nenseons ptlp.
rmm�osed of chump, etaute, and bntl.y ingredients.
'i1cs�1'ellt'taare scareulytnro than tuttntardseed*
Itablg entirely vegetable, no particular care Is re,
qulrod white ut ing them. They operate without 10,.
turbancc to the constttntion, diet, or oceapattoa
1"or Jaundice, aleadnehe, Constipation, Iai,p�,att,,
Blood, yuan in the Shoulders, Tightnces of tbo Must,
Dizziness, Sour Eructations from tbo Stomata, Badddd
Taste In the Mouth, Bilious attacks. Lulu ha re lot
or kidneys. Internal Fever, Pleated feeling abets
Stomach, Rash of Mood to IIlead, take Er. i teroob
I'tcaslmt Purgative Pellets.. In explanation of t1X
�yte1 t.•d1a1 power of these Purgative Pellets over Fr
tat At variety of talar aselt, It ttaaybo,�t is that theft
muton upon the animal econeucy Is Int scrawl, not o
gland or theme escaping their tive impress. Al
Alla not impair the prone qs� of Haase Ptlar•l0
'll yete sugar-coutcd uucltitte Weal in glass boniest.
t u tr virtues being thereby presrsvecl t mpatred Iitt
any length of time, to any climate,so tltltt Ihey. alt.
always n'u,ll and reliable. This is not the rust Witt
lDinh hilt 11p IIS cheap wooden Or pustehnanl poxes
��nr all diseases where a laxative. Alterative, et
Purgative, Is Indented, those little Pellets will gtet
tie -sweet pAerfect satisfaction. Sold by druoxtsts.
0. V. ril;ltti t 31. D..1'ltor'n World's I).np^+)scatty
and Invalids' Hotel, L'uffato, lv.'1.
. OYtltPTolMMS.—Frequent hearse•
sometimelstpiofge i a Lig
ty it tall
40 mucous, purulent, otren ivc 0.p
In others, a dryness, dr9, watery, wet Is, or inlan.If
eyes, stopping up, or ol,straation of ire nasal ins
sagas, rinptng� in cars deafness, hitwl tn, and tenet
lag toclear ttlethroai utterntlons sea Isfromulceas
vuicealtt•red nasal twang offensive 11, t1.-1, I lmalrul
or total deprivation of si use of smell 1 ' 1 11 Ile
xlness, mental depression loss of a pa 1, b*ea
tion, enlarged tonsils, titkthltt rot i , Jr t
fewer these symptoms tiro likety tet t i ett1
case at one llnna. •
M:. SAGE'S CATARRH
prattles's fatiral cares of t,ic woes' e lata r it n rh
nr, itt ten• nt ttoty long saw .tt •s . ' r c•dj
m 11 he stoat d or le tt t , n,.tlt 1 F;• 1 et I:4
I rnt,l,tss one. TI In it t ' (11 r br'ru•
nimttyttlnlantedwi11 (1
r••.. lrlyd 11 tt tt i lm? 1 L,r2 - i' : Le
,guts of Ill, a ate ( 1 c, ttn'
rrs,o c:tlI11,'roc ,rouI a+••r.
P•rl'v� awl uloer
t ut r!td I'+vst
I ..t ia4l 0114 �.t•., 1 i r.•t•,1
, mmol a.' 1
�1