HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1878-9-12, Page 7S1 P.iEM13E$ 5, 1878
THE TIMES
SISW UMW MOMS V
7
WIT AND HUMOR.
41.1
.A. burning shame—bad gas.
A. boy's first bet—alpha-bet.
Sweet things iu combs—houey,
A round of amusements ---the circus.
Striking resemblance„- two black
eyes.
Best weapons for killing time—the
minute gun.
Another new (k)uight— to -morrow
evening.
"Vehicular bipeds—drawers of legal
conveyances.
Food for repentance—mince-pie eat-
en late at night,
Coweanicn of the bath ---a swimming
instructor.
Horticultural—the cuournber is the
oponiiad a wag, "with this difference, VOR SALE IN WINCHELSEA
that is a tower in Italy, and Olid is A House and Lot, Good stand for a shoerna-
ker, A corner lot. For particulars, apply by letter
tower 1 a grease. or personally to HARRY BROWN. WuncheleoaP,O
An honest ignoramus who had ea -
caped a grof.t peril by an act of heroism
svae much complimented for his bravery.
One lady said : "I wish I could, have
Been your feat. Whereupon lie plush•
ed and stammered and finally, pointing
to his pedal extremities, he said, "i !Well,
there they be, mum."
Inteution is everything. He meant
to be very consoling, and yet his words
trust, have been unpleasantly suggest-
ive. The master called his colored ser•
vont to his side and said : "Sam, I'm
dying ; I'm going on a long journey."
Sam's eyes were moist, but lie encour-
aged the sick man by replying, "Neb.''
her mind, ?nesse. ; it's all the way down
hill.
melon's poor relation. --- tortr+•-a _ "�".'
''Tilt' good the lode provide"'—air_ Can the loyal people of this
ttianse from the gallery. Dominion supports a Govern -
How to lint out what's in, a Moues- uwut winch has as Minister of
put it on the back of a note. Militill, a uls...11 who said he
or.dlti°r faet—an actor's business is would, take oil: his hitt and
an andiet,eo'a pleasure. cheer when the British slag
A r.:•ua's weather eye—tile one he slioulti be hattled down from
l4;4 ,heel isla with. the eitlul;'1 at Halifax :' Such
Wby in a kiss like o sewing machine ?
•---bce.m-ii it seems ran pt -.04.
Itt"tl ID atlioi t!itls ore azalea "raging
I,tltintiVe" in i481, 1.'rtibbiset).
Shingles for Sale
FROM $1 TO $L60 PER SQUARE,
At G. & J'. Brooks' Sawmill,
TWO MILES WEST OF THE LONDON
ROAD, T'1, 0b` HAS ,
A good supply of Hemlock Lumber and Cede,
Postscenatantly on hand.
NEW MACHINE SHOP.
'William Kitching
Wishes to. inform the public that he is better
prepared to repair all kinds of
Sewing Machines, Watches
Clocks, Guns, &o., than any
tither person in the country, as
his charges are moderate, and
he guarantees to give Satisfac-
tion.
a man in any position in ti e
Government is bad enough ;
but to allow Villa to be Minister
Why i, a five pt„tori auto better than Of is a crying shame.
fire goy :r:•lt;us:'•---i;t•4.Lnse it, la i wily Electors, if you Io not believe
duublvd. in it, place your mark opposite
!Wily are novelists the most remarit• Mr. Porter's name ou polling
table of 1UIIQUals 'I—Because their tales day.
wine out of their head.
1 Cauliuu--If you don't want to ba
rubheit of your g• Lod name, do not trove
it cu,;r:avt.d i;n your uwbrclla.
The odder dray a cm -tented ignoramus
went a little too far by boasting of his
adventures in three heliit-pheres.
Con, by a Cockney --1S lien is a walk
lin the Themes I nabankuawut good for
weak sight ? When it is 'igll water.
A nom in the pork "'lints” quotes au
c:1tl proverb thus --"Whet can't be cur.
ell lutist be disposed of in a fresh con.
ditiun."
-. ----
HOW VAT CAN A PERSON I3E-
COME ;I
Atirabeau, alluding to a very corpu-
lent person, sant, a" Be has only been
created to ehew to what extent the 11u -
man skin would stretch without burst.•
nip." Than, corpulence was Fs'if,'red to
00 a heintf-rtl eunditi'on; 110W, it is !NUtlNt
to be a disease. Hundreds who Nati
c•lusider, d thrnlaelres useless for lift',
by reason of too hush flat, have, by the
use of Allan's Anti -Fat, been reduced,
to a healthy and natural size. !'hit.
:1 I)utchlnati retreated lila ailanto great remedy for corpuleoeo in purely
"Birds of a feather litrok together' 1 vt+gw itblo and perfectly harmless. It
thusly ---"Birds snit one fodder goes acts on tale font[ in the stomach, pro -
mit dz wolves." ventintg its being converted into fist. I-
mes
'l"!le Barrie t thing far ally Jnatl to du in,ligt,stiun Sud tones up the spa-
The
to own that lett has made a mistake, tem. Auld by clrg'1aLs,
in judgment. It is an impeachment of
his meek hido--his mind.
Alan wants bat little here below, if
I. Mas to pay cacti for what be ,gets.
Charge it to hint, and he'll take all
there is --no doubt about that.
Customs officer : "You said, mad-
am, there wars nothing but wearing ap
ravel here. Now, this is spirit."
Lady : "That ? Oh, nonsense 1 That
is only my nightcap 1"
Which are the lightest mon—Irish-
men, Sootellnien, or Englishmen 2—
Iu Ireland there are won of Cork, in
Scotland there are men of Ayr (air)
but ou the Thames there are lighter
risen.
Wbat is the difference between a
schoolboy studying his lessons and a
farmer wittcuing .his cows ? One is
stocking his mind and tho outer is
Ininlling his stock.
Competitive trial before jury sitting
to award prize for tragic declamation.
:;audidate : "Beg pardon, gentlemen --
would you be kind enough to move a
littla to give me room to roll my eyes ?"
A gossiping woman intent on slander
went into a neighbor's and exclaimed,
as she threw herself into a chair, "One
half the world doesn't know how the
other half lives !" "That isn't your
fault," quietly responded the neighbor.
Reverend Doctor X. goes in for ele-
gance of paraphrase. In ringing the
chauges upon "He that hath ears to
'hear, let him hear," he said last San-
dlay—" lie that is accessible to auriou•
oar vibration, let him not close the
gates of his tympani."
She frankly declared that the first
time a coat -sleeve eucircled her waist
she seemed to be in a pavilion built or
rtiinbows, the window -sills of which
were composed of Mohan harps.
A gentleman on getting a glass of
soda water, was retiring from the store
without the usual little ceremony that
follows the operation. "Recollect, sir,"
said the polite proprietor, "if you lose
your pocket book, you didn't pull it out
Isere."
Science made easy- Friend to scien-
tific authority 1 "Doctor, how is a man
to tell a mushroom from a toadstool ?"
Scientific authority "By eutiug it.
1 f you live, it is a mushroom ; if you
die, it is a toadstool."
"1 suppose those bells are sounding
an alarm :of fire," sneeriujly said a
man, as the church bells were calling
the worshippers one Sunday morning
to which a clergyman who was, passing,
replied: "Yes, my friend, but the fire
is not in this world." •
A young lady who prided herself on
her geography., seeing a oanlis aslant,
remarked that it reminded her of the
"Leaning Tower of Pisa,—"Yes," re -
The excursion vtoarer Prinues'tAlioe,
returning foam Gravoieud to London
England. on Tuesday eveuing last, with
about 800 pati:ie.ngere, was run down
off Barking about ti o'clock, by a scrim
steamer. Over ratio lives were lost.
A num hulled. McCall, in the employ
of Taylor & late, brewers, of S. Cato.
alines, accompanied by his wife, was
driving his teals across a temporary
bridge near the now canal, over the
Queen Street crossing, on ilia way home,
when 111 it in supposed, owing to the
darkness, tiro wagon struck the frail
railing of the bridge, and precipitated
the horses and occupauts to the bottotn
of the canal, a distance of fourteen feet.
Both horses and AIr. McCall were kill-
ed instantly, and Mrs. McCall, iu addi-
tion to having a leg broken, was other-
wise seriously injured, and may not re-
cover.
A cheap feet train nn the London,
Chatham & Dover Railway, from Rams-
gate, Broadstairs, and Margate, for
London, England, which was crowded
with passengers, on Tnesday, near Sitt-
ingbourne Junction, carne into colli ion
with some freight cars while the latter
were switching off the amain line. The
train, which was practically an excur-
sion train, bringing away the summer
residents at the breaking up of the sea-
son, was running at express speed, and
was completely wrecked. Eight per-
sons were killed and 80 severely injur-
o.i. A coroner's jury returned a ver-
dict of manslaughter against two switch-
men for the railway di+aster at Sitting -
bourne, and the men have been com-
mitted.
Washington Sentinel., 31st ult.:—
"Oar exports of agricultural imple-
ments have been trebled ; of iron,
steel trod manufactures ofthese metals
have doubled ; and of cotton manufao--
tuers have nearly trebled in the last
ten years. Eugland is beginning to
fret alarmed lest we should take away
her most valuable markets. It is cer-
tain that we shall soon drive her quite
ont of our own for many of her staple
articles, and we ought, within the next
ten .years, to displace her froru the mar-
kets of Cauaila,A'lexico, the "Vest Indies
and all South America."
Air. Roach, the ;groat Philadelphia
ship-bnilder, in his evidence the other
day before the Hewitt Committee- said:
"England had put a protection on corn
until her whole territory was made a
garden ; by this means she had cheap
bread, and could afford to develop her
mines ; when that time arrived the pro-
tection ou Dorn was 'removed, ; next
were ,introduced ' her navigation law_,
and they were only removed when her
navy and merchant marine were devel-
oped and. her superiority on the lea
was established."
M
MISS GAItLICK,
Has now in stock a complete Iine of
SPRING HATS, BONX1 TS
FEATHERS, FLO\VER,i,
and Trimmings of Every Kind, in
Latest Style and Lowest Prices
A full Stock or Panay (Mode,
Berlin Wools, Iioniton Lace, Braids
Patterns, Cardboard Mottoes, &e,
i =.,Jackets Put end made t , order.
MISS GA1tI ICK,
;•lain St., E toter.
ho ih fPur!
MEW
dues not erred the low prices at which
& T. 73IS aZTT
areolfering their stock of
TINWARE, STOVES, Etc.,
at
Exeter & Hensall
which consists of all the latest and improved
Sty les of Kitchen. Cools and Parlor stoves,Milk
t14184 pans, ant pails of tar nrost approved
•ratter n, and everything in the line ; Also, a
goodselectiolt of handsome
71aave 'i:roup-ld tg
is u„ual, receives everyattontion, and done
at the lowest figures.
Having opened out a branch establishment
at Hensall, our friends in that aeigllburhnud
carr bo supplied on the shortest notice,
THE GREATEST
Wonders of Modern Times
Uolloways Pills &Ointment
The Pills Purify the Blood,00meet all disorders
of the Liver, Stomach, Kirlueys anti Bowels, and
are invaluable in all complaints incidental to
Females.
The Oiutmeut is the only reliable remedy for
Bad Legs, Old Wounds, Soros and Ulcer , of how-
ever long stn riding. For Bronchitis, Diphtheria
Colds, Gout, Rheumatism, and all kiu eases
deem equal.
BEWARE OF
New York Counterfeits.
Spurious imitations of "Holloway's Pills.
and Ointment," aro manufactured and sold
angler the name of " Holloway & Co.,' by J.1-
aenry, Ourran& ., s::w+. Company, Drug -
by the Metro'
eine company of
an assumed trade
Again one
of New York,lihe-
oounterfoits of his
the name of Hol.
Enol it an Medi -
New York, with
mark, thus --
.Joseph Haydocl
wise passes off
own make under
Ioway&Co.,having for atrade mark a Crosent
and Serpent; maressen & Robbins of New York
are agents for the same.
These persons the better to deceive your un-
blushingly caution the public in the small iioeka
of directions atiisocl to their medicines, which
are redly theapurlous imitations, to Beware O
Counterfeits.
Unscrupulous Dealers o btain them at very
low prloea and sell them to the pubic In .Cana-
da as my genuine. Pills and Oihtlnonts.
I moatoarnestly and resootfullyappeal to the
Oiorgy, to mothers offaint lles and 'other ladies
and the public gener1.11y of British North Ameri-
ca, that they may bo pleased to denounce nn-
eparingly those frauds.
Purchasers should look to the label on the pots
and boxes. If the address le not 1133, Oxford
Stre't, London, tatty are the counterfeits, Each
pot and box of the t lonuine M.odioinea, bears the
British Government stainp with the ;words
HOLLOWAY'S PILLS AND. OINTM74NT, London,'.
eugravod thereon: lin the label is the address,
883 OttordStreet. T,onooh,where alone they are
Manufactured. Parties who may be defrauded
byVondora selliug apnriou s "Holloways Pills and
Ointment as my genuine make sh, on com-
municating the particulate to me, be amply re -
int noreted, and their t time never divulged.
THOMAS HULLOWAYg
3330 ilord St., W.C., London, England
LEGAL
I 1 ARDING HARDING, & WHITE,
IL Bariatera, Attorneys, Solicitors, Com
-
siouers, B. ti., &e.
t,t? a res--RIITTON'8 Blocs, water trent, St
Mary's.
Jong 11.HARING, E. W./LAUDING, H,A..L.WRITIt
IV/I-ALCOMSON & OADOY,
1. I3arrister s, Attorneys, Solicitoret &c.
Money to Loan on Real Estate.
renames Block, Exeter
McDIARMID, B.A.,
I amts TSTI R,NOTARY, CONVEYANCER
dC.,
LUCAN.ONT.
tIV] ESSRS. JONES & AI0S3RIP
Barriatare, Attorneys -at -law. Solicitorn
Asa+teary Conveyancers, Commissioners i01.1.It
"
0,1 "tarios Public, t,:!"Mary's
C. S.JONI•:S. W.o.ItIOSCRIP.
pa 1'ac>:—Hutton's Block, \Vaterst.,t,Mary`s
MEDICAL
nits. 1it:TCIIINS()N, Member of
the College of Phvaieians and S'rrgeons of
Ontario, Ate 4c.. Ittain Street Exeter.
IIYNDMAN..--CORONER FOR
the enmity of Huron. ttiiiee, next moor U.
sir. I. Cnr laut;'s store, Exeter.
!I - W. 11iiO\VNINO, M. I). M. C.
Gr',4al.re Victoria is Vievers'ty 0 !lee
and residt.nce, lrc>�.ian 1Cal,rn artdr I._x +Ci,
11 fi+ C. MOORE, M. D. C. M.
1. L • Graduate of .401E111 i.•rliversity, ,lfontroal
Witco and resnlenct , Exeter, Out, Oalee 1 ours ---
Ste 10 a. rn malt° lug. gar
DB. GItADUAT"1+;
V1:1:SITS Trluity College too,"t er1'ollege
Puveicians and surgeout Ont., t it:ceKirkton.
COWLN. OFFiOi. — HAILS
1 Street Exeter. up -stub.. opposite Central
Hotel. Side r utran re, on Cut south—street lead-
ign t, 71. Cl. Church. 39-1y.
HOTELS
?ESTER! HOTEL, GRAND lii;lll. -
1 This Hotel has been leased fora term of
!caro, stat ra' lave nicely fitted a,. 1 vers con•
venienee tn4 ueoreeil travelltra. The best
brand, of liquors anti cigars at the bar. flood
hustler in attendance.
CHRISTIAN 1 aRTLi,1I1, Prop.
Grand heud,Mai Lard, 22,75. 8,t -
j '11:NTRAIJ 1i0T :da, CREDIT( LN
,1 —lvm Baker proprietor. Tide Hotel has
beim newly lurnishetl and fitted up In first-class
'.tyle. Large bud convenient Show Remits for
tun;tut+r,.tui 'J7avd1,'tw :111.4 of lignor • and cigars
at the liar. Attentive Rostlers altv:i%e on hand,
at ii- tin. WILLIAM BAKER.
..VH HANGED IIANDh.--The under.
.'aignedhavina' "anted the DntTerin llonse,Cen-
tralla, for a Oral, it will hrfouuda tl-ct-cl,t.a 110-
tt'1, with every uvn,rlumadation fur the travelling
public, Convenient tothe Station. Cinodt.i,;aur
and cigars at the bar. attentive leis tiers.
lit' tV,
IntU ilaNtlilA\1':i MD 11T,A( K LITH
l� sura' is still going, air. S.lt,tcltingham
,le -sires t., 1'etnr,r Mg sincere
thank to his rum er008
pat 'one, '11 0 o , havemtpport
ed hint in the t° r i pa 5 1, tie d
would intimate. ,," ' " that, intvin •
reeever.'ct front ,,.4;r-ts:u. ,..- his lona in,
fleas, he intends ' - in future, to
to take charge of the ttorse•threing department
himself. All other work done in tiro very best
style and at the lowest rates.
S. 131.1CBINc;nA-ir.
0xeter,Df'c.13,18r";.
THE 1,N14.1 l'.L+lit
Planing Mill, Sash,
DOOR AND
EtIHD PACHE
• ALL KINDS OF
TUR NING
- Dune to order.
Remember the place
I,7er Ole tci 1 -Toward
THE 1 A.LLAND WI�tiTER TRADE
C. So' thoott & Son
TAI/kits and CLOTH' BM,
Take pleasure to it form the innabitantaof Hxete
add surrounding country, that they have jus
ope.red out an escollentassortment of
1'rt"eerls, Coalinga, Vest (Is etc.,
is the latest stylus andpatterns,and feel assured
thatintuoln atter ofciotning,:they oan suit the
rnostfastidioustastes.
AT THE
Standard Sash Door c Blind
FACTORY,
is constantly kept on hand, all Muds of building
material. Flooring hard cud soft, Siding Moutrs-
ngs &c., sold cheap. Piloting Jigging ancluTurning
promptly attended to.
BUILDINGS CONTRACTED FOR,
and satisfaction gnarantoed. As we have on
hand a largo s ock of dry Maher, we feel sure of
satisfying those who may sive us a call.
ROSS BROS. & TAYLOR.
NEW BLACKSMITH AND
GENERALJOBBING SHOP,HENSALL. I
_0—
Having my new egonow in full blast, I would in-
form the public that I am prepared to do unloads
of Blaeksmithing, including repairing of all kinds
of Aguioultnral Machinery, such as Reapers, Mow-
ers, Threshing Machina, and Horso. Shoeing will
receive my careful attention. Borses that inter-
fere, and haying tender feet treated in the most
approved manner, and satisfaction given,
Charges Moderate.
I have on band all kids of Agricultural Im le.
menta from the Mammy Manufacturing Co., New-
castle.
i Remember the p1aile7-First shop west of the
Post 011100, Mansell. w�,t�
. $J�T� V.
Hansa June 40th,18 8 Soul,
Mowers and Reapers..
WE OFFER A TRIAL
of our celebrated
Single
�----AND--
Owers
Single I Reapexs
,r all lands stress and Grotto, 014on nil Fen
itio ,K "f s.,,ltutud 8.,rrace.
AND GUARANTEE SATISFACTION
OR NO SALE
rSo also niTer a Tries of onr Wrought Ito:l
Two Bar
JOHNSTON'S COMBINED RErER
Ali MaWER
MaebibesImpel ied with
'XwoPitmans,
Two Drag-b•1rs,
Two Finger -bars.
Four i iiiyeo,
Forked and Keyed.
Nuts.
Self -oilers,
etc., ie.
can be changed from Mower
co Reaper
AND REAPER TO "MOWER
4Byratooeel 01four h -It* ana'inless thaufift em
moan tune.
!'lease call at our wollie; and in9Iec
our nullities before purchasing
elsewhere.
I " Send for Catalogues.
THOMPSON & WILLIAMS
'Man ufact tiring Co., Str'"tford,
Spicer's Grocery
FRUIT STORE
TWO DOORS NORTH OF POST OFFI C',
FLOUR,
FEED,
GROCERIF S,
SYRUP,
MEAT,
• &C., &C., &C.
ALL KINDS OF FRUIT 1N SEASON.
t. Goods delivered promptly. Quality =stir
passed.
R. &E. SPICER.
'Groceries'Groceriesi, Confectionary
Smoking Tobacco 25 Gents per la
CIIOICE TOBACCOS AND CIGARS
always ins toek.
SPORTSMEN'S DEPOT. '--g
School Books, Stationary, 'Magazines
WITH ALL THE LATEST news
Y.B.—Sewing alaehrl:t Needles of every kind.
A. BOYD.
BL ACIESMITNINC
NEW PIRIT, II1GRAM'S OLD STAID.
Horse Shoeing, Wagon and Carriage Making,•Pia-.
mond Barrows, and -Plows. General Blokamith-
ing in all its branches, at the lowest rates, and sat -
guaranteed. Git e us a call and examine our
work before trading elsewhere.
McMILT AN &McTIBXDE, King St,, Hcnsall.
Hcnsall, June 20. ISM am
HAY PUMP WORKS
G. BOLTON, - PROPRIETOR.
Haying now greater facilities for manufacturing
pninpa than any othor faggtory in Min section 1 am
prepared to furnish .panlps and dig wells on the
shortest notice, and warrant all work. lily pumps
have taken the
FIRST PRIZE AT TRH .E. LL SHOWS
against many competitors. I can recommend
them, and sell as cheap as any second rats article
N. B.—IJAIR WORK OF ALL KINDS DONE
MRS. BOLTON.
�pp--on quarto. •mile north of, Exeter^
igl}ttgJl
Aid. a4y P. O.
1<f?Fqr ,p,I}g, 1811,1878.'