The Exeter Times, 1878-7-4, Page 22
?OLI'rwAL AStSASSINATIONS. take my boots; If my servant Darr is
at work, there is no need of lny going
1848 -November 20. --The life of the at all.
Dake of Modena was attempted. This epeeoh dill the business. --Mr.
1848 -June 21. -The Orowu Prince Dore made no further opposition. The
of Russia Was attacked at Minden. minister was settled, but his opponent
1850 -June '2a ---Robert Parte, au ' carried, the title "my aer} auk Dorr,':
ex -lieutenant in the army. attempted with him to the Agave.
to aesal,ssinate Qtleen microtia,
1$11 -gray 22.-Sefeloque, a work -1 THE SORROWS OF GENIUS.
man, shat, at Frederick William IV., of -rt---
Pru3sia, staid broke his forearm. The night is waning and the bush of
1852 -September 25 -An infernal inspiration makes the sanctum solemn.
maehiue was foautl at Marseilles with The news editor has jut written him-
whieh it heart been intended to destroy self a New York despatch, telling ail
Napoleon III, " about the sea•serpent. The political
18513 -•-February 183 -The Emperor editor is just closi"g a creeher full of
Francis Joseph of Austria, was grieve. G blood and thunder, and winding up
otlsly wonuJcal in the heal while wa .b- %sill a terrific exposure. The proof-
ing on the ralnparta at Vienna, by a reader is ope,iin ; out a new ease of
Hungarian tailor named Libzons. N pencils for the purpose of warkiug all
1853 -April 15 -Au attempt on the errors in six lines of proof. `she tautly
ot Ida f hie
to the Italian Olean ber.l was reported I aort'awful c unteuauce isman from the fearful r knowuession otobe
X853. -July 4 -An attempt was ni edc
to kill Nap0lea)o iii., as ha was enter•
tug the Opera t etnique.
1854 -March 2O-Feulioand°beaes
III„ Duke of NITRO, was killed by ala
uukuown man, wleo stabbed. lulu in the
abdomen.
185u ---April 28 ---Napoleon lli. was i anis Alnlitmou item MlatIS the tart word.
fists at in the ChampaElyeeea by Gov -1 To him, the the funny Mall ---•Bison.
inni Pianeri. Intelligent compeller --- i3•i-tl•o•n 2
1856 ---April 28 -Raymond Fuentes l Funny man-• tis.
The intellive•at compositor demands
to be informed what it meaue, and
value -taking funny man, with many
tears, expleiva the joke, and with great
elttborstiun shows forth how it is pleyed
ou "cold p18eu."
"Ah yes r says the intelligent coltl-
positur, and retiree. Sete up "euld
poison."
Funny wan groans, takes the proof,
seeks the intelligent co:aporliter and
explains that he witlhea not only to
make a play on the ward "laden," but
also on the worts "Neon."
"
"And what le that ?" asks the intelli-
gent eolupoafitor.
The funny man patioutly explain°
that it matte "buffalo."
"Oh, yea ?' shouts the intelligent
compositor, "Now I uuderstaud."
Mortified fanny luau retires, and
goes haste in tranquil coufideuco of
growing fame.
Paper comes out u the morning --
in the throes of a joke. The joke ie
born, and title is its name :
" A than died iu Atchison, Kan., Inst
week from eating diseased buirelo meat.
A clear ease of euicitle-deans from cold
!neon."
:linter the intelligeat cowpoeitor-
was arrested in the act of firing at leas
belle, Queen of Spain.
1856•---Deceruber8-.-Agesilas 14lilauo,
a Maier. stabbed Ferdinand III., of
Naples, with his bayonet.
1857-Auguat 7 --Napoleon III.,
again. Bartoletti. Gibaldi and Grillo
were sentenced to death for conaittg
from London to aesassivate bis.
1858 --January 14 --Napoleon III.,
for the fifth time. Orsini and his assn.
mates threw fulminating bombe at him
u ha was on the way to the opera.
1861 --July 14 --King William of
Prussia was far the first tiwo shot at
by Oscar Becker, a student, at Baden-
Baden. Beaker fired twice but missed
him.
1862. --December 18-- A Btnllent
named Dossios, fired a pietas at. Queen
Amelia of Greene (Priuoese of Olden-
burg) at Athens.
i803--Detember 24 --Four more
conspirators from Landon against the „cold buiTlala..,
life of Ntipaloan Ili., were mauled at B Tableaux --•red fire and elow curtein.
Maris,
1865 -April 14 --President Lincoln
was shot by J. Wilkes Booth. JONES' (;HILL.
1866 -April 6--A. Russian named ,
Kavarasoff attempted Czar Alexatrder'b j He was dry-1)10111been so ('try
life at St. Peteri,burg. He wee foiled since the strike, but there was no tea -
by a peasant, who was ennobled. fur the
deed.
1807 --The Czar's life was main et.
tempted during the great Exposition at
a review in the Bois de Boulogne at Par -
ie.
1868 --June 10--Prinoo Malawi of
Serbia was killed by the brothers ltad-
warowitch,
1871• -Tho life of .ii.madeus, then
newly King of attain, was attempted.
1872- August -• Colonel Gutietioz
assassinated President 33alta, of the
Republic of Peru.
1878--3au1aary 1 -President Mor-
ales of Bolivia, was assassinated.
1875-Au"tri t - President Garcia
Maeno, of Equador, was assassinated,
1877 -June -President Gill, of Par-
aguay, was assassinated by Commander
Moles,
1878 -May 11 --The Emperor Wil-
liam of Germany way shot at again,
this time by Emile Henri Max Hoedel,
alias Lehmanu, the Socialist. Leh-
mann, it will be remembered, fired
three shots at the E nperor, whn was
returning from a drive with the Grand
Duchess of Baden, but missed him.
T 1 this list we must add a third at-
tempt on the life of lxmperor William.
MY SEVAN'T' DOER.
Many years ago, when there Was but
one church in the old town of Lyme,
Cone., the people were without a pas-
tor. They ht.d been for a long time
destitute, and now were on the point ui
making a nnatjimous call for a very
aoceptttble preacher, when a cross•
grained man, by the name of Durr, he.
gan a violent opposition to the condi•
date, railed a party, and threatened to,.
defeat the settlement. At a palish
meeting, while the matter was nn.iea
discussion, a half-witted fellow rose in
the house and said he wanted to tell a
dream he had last night. He thought
he died and went away where the wick•
ed people go, and as Satan saw him he
asked hies to here he eaine from.
"From Lyme, Couuectieet," 11'hi
$rim right out.
"Ah 1. and what are they, doing in'
Lynne ?" he asked. '
"They are trying to settle a uliuisr
ter," 1 ansi.ered.
"Settle a.tnila.l•e. I" he cried ons.
must a put stip to than. Bring toe any
bots I I must go to Lyme this very
-1 theta told him as lie was drawing
all hi:4 i,o tt that lIr. Dorr .v is oppos-
ing the settlement, and. very 1i:tely 11e
tin"alfi• prevent it altogether."
"Airy servant, D •rr I" exclaimed his
lu..j .a1y. :11) • w' :.t..t D. Here,
loon close by, and be had passed the
last drag store, He knew Mrs. Jones
had. a lin tie Hennessey aho'1t the house
that :the put in Puddings and p;es, and
he eat down un the doorstop aala i won-
dered ]raw it could be saved from being
wasted 1n suds fixings, as economy was
his motto.
.t. scheme finally dawned upsn him,
and he opened the door and felt but way
back to the ice eoaler,gnt up on a chair
and fished out a !niece of tee, buttoned
up his coat and turned up his collar.
Then he stagger, d up stairs, ice iu
hand, and suet Mr. Jones.
"What's the matter Jones -been
drinkt.ig ?"
," said Jones, with a sial. and a
shiver.
"Caucus ?'
"No ; n0 canons."
Another strike ?"
"No -chill," said Jones, as he sank
back in his chair and slipped the ice in-
to his c.aat pocket. "Feel that hand."
' Oh, my!" and shuddered.
Then she got a blanket and pnt over
him, and said she would make him
something hot. As she st'irted for the
kitchen he called her back, and, with a
sigh, suggested if there wa a little al-
cohol about the house it would be bet-
ter. There wasn't a bit, but she had a
little brandy for cooking purposes.--
Joues gave a shake, and said it wculd
an -slier if she had a.little bot waiter alai 1
sugar to mntlie it palatable. They were
ou Mand in two minute, lied while she
pulled off his boots and wrapped the
blanket around his feet., Jones mixed
his toddy and i-hivered. He felt beat -
ter tante' ward, though he made up a
terrible face when he emptied the bot -
tie, and told ,vire. Jones she had saved
his life. He retired ten minutes after-
wards, sltigi:ig-
"•There's a land that is fairer than day."
THAI TIMES
having alnulitted to place the salt in
readiness, whispered softly to his at.
tendant ;, "Pat, will ycu please to get
, the salt 2,"
Pat responded 1u an audible whisper
from behind his band : "Sure an' I put
it in aleady.".
Father 11---, not fully understand-
ing, repeated his whispered request,
Again Pat replietl,more audibly that.
before and with slight dudgeon in his
tone; "Sore an' I put it in 1 tell ye."
"But the ritual demands that the
priest should perform the ceremony be.
tore the congregation," explained Jt•
then 11---, colltoderably annoyed at
the janitor's obstivaey.
The Irishman procured the salt. ann
banding it to the priest, electrifiedhim,
as well as the congre..ratiou, with the
remark, delivered) in a surly growl:
"Here ye are ; bedad ye can nudge a
piekft+ of it if you want to !"
An intelligent farmer, living in Des
Moines country, tins invented a hero.
pkone,wodtleled on the priuciplo of the
telephone, by which one old reliable
hen oceupyillg a central office in the
!)every, silts ou all the nests about the
establiehweut, leaving the other fowls
free to lay eggs, scratch and cackle. As
feat as a new neat contains the full
complement of egge, it is connected
with the central office by a. copper wits
and the bueinesa is settled. The only
trouble aith the machine is that it sits
so bard it hatches out the porcelain
neat eggs along with the others, en that
one °nick in every nest is born with
glass eye., and the fernier has to buy a
dog and train slim to lead it around.
This makes it expensive.--Hdtrkeye.
IRISH HUMOR.
A. Catholic Priest, Father H -,in
his mission n'"ark - in Southern Colorado
lnfl New blexioo.tnet with many extra.
ordid•try people s.nd incidents. Ott one
occaa+ion he happened to hold services
in a small out-of-the-wn.) chapel. where
the vtried (satire of janitor were diet -
charged by a gentleman of Irish des-
cent. Dating the service a child W.15
brought forward for baptism. It ahoy
not generally be known that in the Bo-
man Catholic Ritual, the priest, before
touching the child with waiter, pate a
little. Salt i. to the water in the presence
of the c •ngregation. The janitor, livor'-
ever, had prepared the waiter before-
hand. nOGO! ding to his own ilea as to.
the propottion of salt, when the p feet,
QINGLAIR TMT.
De• aler in Fancy (►ands and Toys double,
and arugle Devin Wool, of *Dealer. Alva
Zephyr andGerulanton Woof Nez atwr
north of Lira Titan ofiwce, Exeter,
MI44C=SMIT13I11'0 I
NEW FIRM IN(•R.1M'S BLO("li.
Iitrsetiltneinu.Wn onami(arrlvu'tfeltinuT1ia-
mond Barrows, and Plows. General ir neksmttb-
ing in an its hrancb,'s, nt rho inwet;t rat. endt:at.
i'.faetiatl guava:dotalearn ne a calland nxainino
Our work before trading elsewhere.
Alearlla.AN fi Meli1tllik;, Xing St.ITensnll.
iiinsall,Jame '_ath. 14. G•m
pi Nn Rcanlifiil Concert aeon l 1'1-
i ORGAN
J.... •.,.,tttaos cost'1.Gte', only t-1:15.,-
"Superh Uraud ,eeiunre Pintos, cost, -1.1119. only
',,i. 1:Isgant t•pright Pi 1104, east, r?aelat only
Slaw. Now Style upright a'lann•.. 411 :,50, Organs
.1)1. Organs 1:1 utups. Sr2u1t. Outwit Orgau.e,16
stops, cost µ9!1t1, only $113. Elmira $373 mirror
top organs only 5105. Tr=men,lous saeriflv" to
close out Present stock. NOW Sttatat Factorvsoon
to he erected. Ncwspnper5 with inueh infttrmd-,
tion about cost of Pia -ms, and Orkin?, SENT
FREE. . Mimeo address DANIEL F. 0 CTATY
\Vasplinoten,
PAGENTS WANTED FOR TRE
=CTt)R.IA L
HISTORYOF THE WORLD
Embracing full and authentic accounts of every
nation of un:ieut and modern tiines,and including
a history of the rise tied fell of the Greek an 1 Ro-
manEmpirea.the growth or the nations of mod-
ern tsurone, the middle ages, the crusades, the
feudal system. the reformation, the discovery a'-,1
settlement el the New World, etc., etc.
It contains 1175 fine historical eneraviegs and
1,260 large double . oinmu Tinges, and is the most
complete history of the World ever publishe, . Tt
sells at sight. Send for speeimen pages and extra
terms to agents, and son w11v it sells faster titan
luny other ho,k. Address, it i.TIONAL Pi nLISAINo
Co. Philadelphia.Pa
PIANOS and ORGANS.
PIANOS -Grand, Square stud upright -the best
made in the wrrld, ORGANS -5 ard6 octavo
need Organs from 2 to 15 steps -the best mann-
tee'ured, and at prices as lnw,it not Lowes, thou
one other house in the world. AGENTS ✓ANT.
Illustra-od cataingeus mailed. HOR t01.1
WATERS tt SOaS, Manufacturers and Deniers,
40 ~last 14th Street Now York. P. 0. nos 3..G7.
(Established 1846.1
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-Send for. Illustrated Cataloefue,
fry� ;tyles of 01, fan Dards 10c., or 10 chromo earls
G4i../100. w.ta name. J. B. 1•IUSTI•IO, Nassau, N.Y
�w Lovely Rose Bud or 25 Gilt -Edged Cards,
with namo,10obs. C.VANf & Co.,North
Chatham, N. Y.
OMES
IN the 'DEI,EW AitE• Peninsu-
la.-- Excellent grain, fruit anti
grass farms in the lower counties nt half the price
asked for poorer land terther north, Delightful
and healthy climate. Ad tress or call or, 14 OYIS S
SPICL1t, Real Bst.te .,gout, Milford, Del.
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Invested judiciously in Stocks (Options or Privi-
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Address 0. POTTIER WIGHT & Co' Bankers, 85,
Wall Street Naw York,
• ti»As to agents canvas 'ilae for the Fireside
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VICKE1WY..Augusta. loathe,
'
ABRIEF TREATISE ON PULMONARY.
. Diseases will be sent free to all upplicante
Address °scan G. liosEs 15 ocrtluad Streets
New York,
THE EXETER TIMES
lyill
be pi%rar from now till
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For 50 Gents.
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ALL KINDS OF
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AT THE LOWEST RATES, WITH
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R
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1
Send $1, rr85 pint.
Flower Seeds .I5 fns
30c., 7 for lac. it 2r
Spkts. Veg's $1; 1•l fo4
50e. The Floral Prib..
rite, a 100 -page Floral
work with colored plate, 10c., with either of the
above packages sea lo, t,vo years free. These ef-
art arelrona Ade and the Sends first-class, hemp
p Iced low only to induce alltc try diens. nddros,
W.I•R4id, Rocho.t3r N.Y'.
._4'nAlae Tars PAPtR:'--1
Jura 4, .1878 + ._..._._
.�..._ � . THE ON'1'A 1�1U ..
4t4,1rINGs ? INVES ENT
LON DON, CAINAOA.
`Werk nR Capital, $2,100,000
Rewery Fund, $144,000
Largest working capital of any Cwupituy frost
of Toronto.
9101t0v loawe.l on tlrst-clas.Iteoll:'.tate,seenrities
udtller in straight 1,oa1.t., et atter tint, or on the
lustalievnt 3}. loin, at ti:t' option of the borrower.
APpty to W.l V. nt'I,LEN,
Manager.
0: to ;lin. ANNA ear T tl , Esetta•,
MASON 1:1'0,0X. Hensel'.
Jur:. Pm:sores, Crealstult.
January :11.
3 rl:.
�1;11r 1t1LAcKsmIaj3 AND
ft ENERALJQBBINGSGOP,RENSAIL.
stat iu,: my new shop now in full blast, I would lit-
frran bun, jtatidic that 1 and prepared to do alt Binds
of Ina eami.hlu •, including repairing of all tattdi
of Agri •nitnrat rtuelnuery. sat its Ittatptrs. Shia.
cr 1n:e-1u xg Machines, and tiotat+ ,u , u►g will
n .sat .• ua. t ir-fol att.'Otion Ilursestirnt ntttr-
ft;.,
eat pates: tender fret treated to Ow moat
alll.eoted tlunuu,er, aud sstisfudtiuu green.
Charges M oderate.
I brave on hand all ki-ds of A4ritsadthrnl Iwpla-
ment+ Wont the Alaaisey' 0ittnnfsti%ii rite' 'in., Now-
anode.
ra'Uosn tuber the place -141%4 shop wrat of tarts
Put it,ttee. Iltnba111.
Vcr +f.iZO • .k+ t wOa
Hensel', June eoth, ioTat. G-nt,
LIME E for SA.LE.
..,.. n,a-.00..-1+
Ot. and after MONDAY,
:,ath inst., we will keep the
Deaehvilie Lime for sale at
25 l.:ENTS PER BTJS,aEL.
Special rates to parties usiug
large quantities.
1[ONET T() LOAN ON MK PhOPERTY.
• Mortgages Bought and Marriage
Licenses issued.
O'EYRNE & CO
i1.3111>ii'tlIls I3/:.1t.1:liS,
I'.XE`ER.
The GItEAT REMEDY for
C10R P'Q'L.E 1VtC31331.,
ALLAN'S ANTI -PAT
is purely vegetable and perfectly harmless. It acts
upon the food in the stomach, preventing its being
converted into fat. Taken In netordauue wills d1-
rection, it win reduce a fut. Demos from two to live
pounds per week.
Corpulence is not only a disease Itself, but the
harbinger of others." 8o wrote Hippocrates two
thousand years ago, and what was true then 1s none
the less so to -day.
Bold h druggists, or sent, by express, upon re-
Celpt of $1.60. Quarter -dozen 54.00. Address,
BOTANIC MEDICINE CO.,
Proprietors, Buffalo,
■�
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Address, Magnetic Watch Co.,
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This 'spoor ONLY OPPORTUNITY to obtain 05
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Jl