HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1878-6-6, Page 3Jun 6, 1878
THE TIME S
FUNNY.
Newspapers are made, not berg.,
For the list •of firma who haven't
flailed please sea our . fadaereisting col -
"Money," says the Boone Democrat
"is the missing link between our sub.-
soribers autt the editor."
We. Fremont's daughter, it is said,
has the most b auiltiful timid iu Amer.
iea1. Cull her, somebody, just s3 we
eau see what she has.
The Brooklyn Union -Argus don't
know much about poker, but it ix righ
when it says til,tt a pair of hearts some-
times make a flush.
Is night air holetome? asks en aexi.
cue resider. It is, if you keep it in a
dark place, but it spoils rapidly ou ex-
posure to the sunlight.
The pie -sic season approaches. The
young man with lavender trowsers
alrnlll<! gusrd agiust Fitting down ou
the nua•tard pia.Il„Sfnla (lobe, It'a
always onssed.batd when he dues.
TheFeuiens of Buffets) felt hurt and
trifled with when they were informed
that Gen. O'Neil died at Otnelte six
months ago, while they !fall been wait-
itag 4six weeks for orders frtlui him.
Thele is the effect of D•tubury air iu
the News <afliee ;
Lite(' notes from creditors,
Little hale on slate,
Make the average bank cashier
ltehypotheeete.
A Vermont girl fell out of a rocking
chair and received injuries that killed
her in two hours, Moral : Young girls
ehnldd »et sit ill a roc king chair unitise
there is az strong young man iu it to
!told thein i1.
Two gentlemen were arguing in a
pasture field, with only a goat for au
audience. In redly to & state-
ment of one the surer said : "I know.
But—” The gnat took him et lug word
and the argument wase cuutiuued ou the
other side of the fo.tce.
They are telling now about a man
in Dubnquo who buried two dozen hot.
tins of whieltey iu his cellar twenty-'
dire*. years ago, and forg,•t ablest thele,
anti ashen they were accidentally dug.
ap last week, the wlfisk.)y was fella to
be r•nperb. flow people will ]l'. The
man may have buried that whiskey in
his cellar, but if he forgot about it, it.
was because he w is struck by lightuing
or hanged filo next day.
It's a moornfal fact that a lean row -
or knows when to quit cutting a Dorn.
He endured untn]d physical disccmfort
getting hiwself into the right position,
geld then be never lets up until the
massa,re is complete. Thera is alwave
the temptatit,n, never resisted, to take
off just one more slice, and when at
hast, the final ns'rvons movement dig
out a piece of the sensitive flesh es big
ea a shall porter lumen steak. the man
Bowls and tells his wife she'll cripple
him for life sumo of these days with
her infernal foolishness, and goes
growling to bed, leaving his poor wife
to wonder what under the sun she had
to do with it. What a single man does
fnr somebody to blame, nobody knows.
Wo guess they never nut their corns.
A DEAF MIN'S MUSINGS.
Wnrds confuse ideas ; use as few as
posaaible.
There is a discontent on the mo.t
perfect llaappine'is.
The blush of a maiden is natures
signal of warning.
Not one Alan in a thousand marries
the girl be most wanted.
The devil is always ready to give ad-
vice, but he exacta high fees.
There aro many moral people whns•'
virtues somehow seers to be a misfit'
Discontent is a vital element of civi•
lization ; without it there would be uo
prneress.
The gniet fellow in the corner Who.
lets his rivals do all the talking gener-
ally marries the girl.
Every man coming to an obscure old
age thinks he wonld • have achieved
wealth end distinction if •
—
• Let young men be.pa'ieut in 'their
Ironing, for a meiden'e :lave may be.
mold on her lip.[ yet warm iu her heart.
ADVIOE TO GIRLS.
Glrle, don't devote all yonr thoughts
to fashinn ; exchange your sines and
•satins for lawns ar,d calicos shut up
the piano and dive into a wash tub
throw away your fancy needle work,
end tackle it red hot stove.in..the kitch-
en. .Instead of receiving Brown, the
banker's son, 'in the• parlor,' look' out
for Bill Burns, the biaeksmith'a son.
as he goes home from, work I. kiss his
' dirty face thr•iugh a broken ,,pane of
glues in the kitchen window, and after
a while, when he learns. his trade';aiid
you know your business, get married,
atonce, g'' to house -keeping 'by
yonrr:elves, help each Other. live happy;
nails a Wilily that, will be en honor to
IJtir f.at est Atli d eredlt,` to theindelve
INTERESTING ITEMS.
There is no itntuedisite prospect of a
cessation of the distress in China..
Large quantities of grain are being owe.
veyed into the feniitte districts.
St, Pauls Cathedral, Loudon, was
begun and finished by one architect,
WrEn, under one coaster mason, Strong,
and during the episcopate of ono
Bishop of Loudon, Compton,
The lamina in India is slowly dying
sett everywhere ; the eurvIvore are re-
covering health and strength, and the
smelt quautitiee of food imported sliclw.
that the people have a sufficiency of
grain.
A Baltimore pickpocket defeated an
attempt to take his photograph for the
rogues' gallery by m eking wry feces.
Thereupon the pollee labt.11ed biro
" Thief," and marched blue up and
down a crowded street until he prom.
Tied to sit quietly before the camera.
There is a clock at V1 trs1ey, Lord
Elleswere'e neat in Eugiaud, which
at one o'ol"ek alwa it strikes
Wirtoeu. The reaeou is tat one day
the great Ettglisit canal maker of tho
last century. the Dake of Biidgewatet.
to whom the estate belonged, found a
number of mecbaalics in his employ
idling about after 1, when they ought
to have returned to their work, In-
quiriug the meaning of this, he was
told that they bad sat heard the el ,ok
%strike, it being much more easy to mise
heating the single stroke the, i half a
dozer» or so. The next day the clock.
struck 13, and has done so ever since.
Land and Water, in a review of the
past huntiug season 4ud accidents,
ssya : " Nothing calla fur quicker de.
oisiou, steaiiiuess of nerves, ttetertuiva-
tion and setf•relience, than .ruling well
to hound*, and although we apt to
look at hunting al a mere pastime and
apart, it may be that, while killing in
ite pleasure, we are at the sante tittle
exercising aid developing those very
qualities %With may be of tate uttnost
value to nein the more serious bueiuess
of life." It is notorious that the Duke
of Wellington attached great value to
it in training °rivalry ofllaers,
Tito Russian Gruvernment baa order.
ed steps to be taken for the coustruo.
ttouof a railway from the Russian
frontier to the t.'ressiaan harbor of Ale.
mei. This order has been given in
pursnauco of the resolutions of a emu.
mite() to Consider what measures
should be adopted, iu the ativout of a
blocedo of the Russian port on the
Baltic, to enable exports from Truism
to bo conveyed across the fruntiet.
The lino will be built at the cost of the
Russian Government, and thesame
gauge will be adopted as that of the
Prussian lines, so as to prevent the
ueaessity of unloading at the fronteir.
The fines levied by the Uuiversity of-
fioera of Oxford called proctors, am-
ouuted hist year to about $2,000.
There are two proctors. They wear
gowns with full velvet sleeves, at.d
each has two deputies and a sattellite
or two canes a "bull -dog." The proo
tors are reepousible for the discipline
and morality of the University, and
are endowed with extraordinary powers
entitling them to enter any house with-
in a radius of several miles of Oxford
in the executiou of their duties. Flues
are inflicted for not being iu a cap sod
gown at certain hours, and for a nuts.
her of sifniliar heinous delinquencies.
Being tackled by a proctor is known
in university parlance as being proc-
torized. The proctors are taken from
eachcollege in rotation, and receive a
salary of $1,500 a year. They are al-
ways Fellows of a college.
A. Fretioh paper, earuestly deprecat-
ing hirduesting,says : A bird's nest Con-
tains on an average five eggs, which
would, in the natural course, become
five little birds. Each little cte oats
daily fifty flies or other iusects, and
this consumption extends over four
or five weeks. '1 altl,'g it at an average
of tltit ty days, we shail find the number
of flies destroyed by each nest of birds
t) be 7,500. Now, every fly este
deity a qnantity of flowers, leaves, &c.,
equ.valent to its weight, until it attains
its traxitnntn of growth ; in thirty
days it will have eaten a flower a day,
. ► flower which would have become
'retie. Each fly [i he term is used, we
p .esume, for insects` generally] then
h tying, we will. sa.', eaten thirty fruits
in this ty days, the 7,500 flies which a
nest of birds would have consurm d
cause aloes to us of 225,000 epi les,
pears, apricots, and peaches. We com-
mend this view of the matter to the
parents of marauding children.
"What this country needs," says a
Philadelphia paper, "is a kind of wea-
ther that won't ruin the. peach Drop."
The country needs hothing .4f the kind.
A. peach crop that isn't ruined in early
spring time, doesn't amount to any-
thing
nything in the fall.
Young lady. in a railway oar, excl.
tedly--"Oonducior,,this man you put
its this seat with the, has insulted me 1"
Oouductor, grandly —"The scoundrel';
what has he done, 'miss ?" Young lady
in.dh;nautly"He went to sleep." Howls
of derision, and wrath from the passed
gees. 'The eeuuudrel is put off.
i
1878) SPRING (1878
TI -1 OLD 1 EL.IABLE 11013.E
At all times, andper0ealarly at a period when Trade is universally depressed and money
scarce, It is in the interest of every buyer to purchase where he out get the article be wants
at the lowest rate. In calling your attention to my present stock, I do eo with every confid-
ence; it being mere e refelly assorted and se'teoted than that of any .previousseesuu.
In the Dry Gov, ds
Every department is replete with the most seasonable and fashionable laabiles, warted At
primes which should command the attention of the very closest buyers. VIE OPDE;R J
elioruflli# still has'Jiii. W` IVES at itkbod
IxtIVIalitterY
U,tderthe ma -agement of 'dices McGlogltion. we can eta the most fastidious. Our stock a
t
Grose.les, Boots and Shoes, Canadian) English and American
Shelf and Heavy Hardware
one of tete largest and best assorted in the County, /mending purchasers will consult their
best interests by outdoing tnystocit before going elsewhere.
JAMES PIC? ARD
THE MARKET QUESTION
ISAAC CARLING
Beteg now in receipt of alarge Aga of
Dry Goods, Groceries, Wines an()
Liquors, Crocker, Etc.,
.At his Store, MaioStreet, Exeter, which will be sold at
LOWEST MARGIN ON COST
The inhabitants of Exeter and vicinity need not feel troubled
at the want of a market wherewith to make ntouey, but
call at the store of the s'Ibscriber and
SECURE THE BARGAINS
there to be had. iu Over(1o(t.all.4, Fllll.clotlls, Broad -cloth
Doe skins, Silks, \Viuceys, Delaines; and everyrniug
swelled in the Dry Goods line. The (Grocery
Department is Complete. An inspection invited
No trouble to show goods ISAAC CARLING
MUSIC HALL J.ND
Sewing Machine, Emporium
PIANOB T �. DELP,
Organs,
&c.
China
ware
MR. E. DREW would announce to the public that lie has opened out a
Mule Store and Sewing Machina Emporium,
N DR i1W'S BLOCK,
where he will have ^onstantly on hand a full assortment of PIANOS. ORGANS AND:Ur:SIMI.
INSTRUMENTS of all kiude, as Well as it eboiee variety of Glassware, Deli and China mire. marked
at lowest figures. Au efficient Musicleacl.trot.huhu, whose sercietsum) behad at the lowest rates
Com. Inetruniehts and Sewing Much hies 1'te.il,l.tly it l ailed. Z . I'I.F W .
N.B.—Drew's tiara, above theBlusic Stole, to tcntfar public entertait mcnts.
JUST IRJECErVED
Grocery
AT TIIE
EXETER
and Liouor Store
A large stock of
Green, Japan, Young Hyson and
Black Teas,
Raisers. Currants, Pru. es
Diu3'-z) Apples , Canned r�.UIT,
Sardiri es,
Lobsters, Salm on
Bitter Sauce and Pickles, Brandies, Gins, Wines and Syrup
Rye, Malt, Scotch, Irish and ; Common Whiskies, Tobaccos
and Cigars,
Wholcsa- e and Retail.
G. A. MACE,
vain Street, Exeter.
;Re
oc
PEUUI'[S.
GO
Neese
tea ► Uro
ftwkatkv
•\ et
Or Sugar -Coated. Concentrated, Root
and !Mortal .Ifaice, Atttl-tiiluua
Granules. TIRE 4/LITTLIE GIANT"
4t1Tt1:►l R IC, Ar lRaltautt lt► Parvo
I'Itx•xic,
T.ae novelty of modern Medical, Chemical, anti
Pharmaceutical Science No use of any longer
t;d.ia;:: the large, repulsive. and nauseous pills,
:nntioa.+ed of cocal.. crate, and bulky ingredients*
when we thin, 1.+, a careful xppliett:I.,n., et:en:teal
-c,elu e, catr act all [tae cathartic and ,,:iter meat-
lout irvrperlie$ Irina the mm: vattiatee roc,; ,rd
tier,-.:am.t cottec:etrate ti., :,. int., a minute <,ran-
,rte xearcely larger titan a martard
seed, teat, ran he re:elit r:ora..owed be 114,,,e of
'cue Most Ser-iuve stonmelas and to ti,ieona 1..' e'.
'4401, : eta a i11•ulraitve Pellet represents. in a
uo 1 :1,4:..entt.ate4 form. as n►ucn cJ reeves parer
xs IS ern:noted in any of the Large pitta fo.te. i for
sa,e 111 drt6.;.Di:op;'. From il.e:eatu:dte:f.:' cathar-
tic parer, tric'.17Jparidnn toweir eMe. i.eopte wen
trays not :vie i these are apt n, eulrleee that tile
rive ;tarok nr.traut:e at effect: hat *itch i6 :mot at an
the case, ate,ltaerent a lire medic:eat principiea
.1 W! ch !her are a-empose:i lie mp *0 hararm:zed
and narlitie:d. one by the edicts. as to praaloice
A Most .earrlting asst iltoru'Aglt, yet
Renter ane hetetIty operating, Cathear.
tie.
Saha Ilewaird !a hereby odere+l 1ac lite pro.
pr.mer of these Pe.leta. Ae aunt' e.letn st ail.o. UPI)
a1LWynt-. 82.1 that to them any cacoatet or ether
fermi of mercury. tua.erst seller,:, or Inluraetttw
•till;;.
i
entirely ttie'1retsvolumed wu.4gwent.. 'Fite!:
scalene .liattrinnce to the
conattrutinn. diet, or
,crnp.uion. kir .sued lee, fleaitdaehe,
Constipation, Impure Iltood !'abet tau
Abe shoulders, Tightness of the Chest,
Ilt.ettiuvp.ty 21anr Eruelnlioix Traits tl►sa
.tutatdl`ll,,13;14. laete� tet ittA 1111.
low. Rourke, Plgotilhorte It; region -or'
K.ld.
414)5, Internal fever, ilivated feeling
about Mtal►taet► 1111x11 4r Mood to
*lead, silt ti.colored Urine. I uwoeis+.
titin? anti Glu(Au) Forebudiattrx, 121tC
Ur lerce'x Pleasant Ptrgaatiie Ret.
tot*. h: exp nm.8bn: of fie .e.:. retat.,1441 power Or
tl" 1.44,111:11' Pellets ewer w great a tansy; of
;i -'.-e-. 1 w sh p, s.l- shat their aetiUit
afoot; the animal (CAI1VAi31 hi trniver.
•at, not n gland or Bursters +eacul.1ng
.rarer sanative itui?ress. age ih,ea 4.at
lign.14r ac.r a•roVer44e* et tG€se 1'et'.r'. t:.e ' 2124
at. a t,,;.te t at:,l .nr ;.her1 111 g;a-s tr ttt.e-. these
It; e. rr1.2 ,' tt.eretie preaerre^t-tt'i.A)j.lrrei far
.m'+ ,f . -t:i „f time, tel any e,atua'e._8'' that they
treat .'ar.1 rt i.air:€, To .n .' ilei the
aye nett+ tl. ee et.:111 Streit are i uio An ewt:dp
0.74..i:0:1 or la,te;tuar•t 1')123, 1.v C,51e.2 last far
ah 41 .' ea ni err A► Ltixaatirre. AlteVaitivo,
nr Pargstivc,.4 tt,ta;:%ted, t: eve time peuetrt
w.:; rias: at.c tarot perfect unsfacstfla.-ta a;t wt:v
ate a:,eta.
Titer are sold by all Drnggiou art !;
cents a bottle.
i.. Y. PAIM, vE, 1. 7I., Isrep'r,
m•I�i:Ai.u, N. T.
11* »n immense practice. extending or meet) a
:< '!.St Of %can!. haying rialto: ea; tin14' treat,' 1
? ati than.and ca e' of tl:me.lt a teed 04441114TV*
Kemanl. 1 have been ei abled si pet fen a t».t4
tt1Pte.tt and age ecitse n edirkra' 111.4 menta tut' 41 .
,11cations pre'rrted by that c.1„ of d.tra a-,
p,lyttlre 4541al)11v and ev.teln4',.
To designate this natural *secede culnpnnnd. 1
Mase named it
Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
The term, however, is lint a feeble expre.slon of
my high appreelation of its valor, 1'.,,e,[ Minn
my owe l.personal eliservation. As a c;•.•c 1111.
server. f have, whi'e witnessing its p.isi1tts re-
sults Irl the few special d.s€uses tlietdel.t to tl,e
s€p:u;tte orgaaiei»t of roman. site,1.e,t it out as
the climax or crowning gent of vary
medical career. On its nlerlt'r. av a positta e,
safe, and ctTeental remedy for this ria.., of .lir.
CMS, and one that Will. =nil tint€; and under all
cireumst:Me€a, act loudly mill In harmony with
the laws %Melt govern the female system, I ata
willing to state nay reputation ns a Optician.
Say, evert mnns, sn confident tam I that to will not
disappoint the most sanguine expectations of a
single invalid Indy who n-cs it f..r any of tree
ailments for which S moon -mewl it, Haat 1 offer
and soli it under A POSITIVE Gl'.tRtA:Y.
TEE. If a beneficial eaect 15 not enericuee,i
by the time two-tdrds of tie contents of the lint.
rte are used, I will, on return of the bottle, two.
thirds of the medicine havtne been tahen a'eor.1-
ing todirections, r1nd the case 1.eum onfor whirl)
I recommend it, promptly rented tate *12" ey paid
for it. Iia11 i not the most perfect cnnii.tence tut
its virtues. I coelia not offer it as 1 do tu:.ler the,*
conditions; but having witnessed its trie`.s irilr1cu-
tous sures in tllou,and,1 of cases, I feel war.
ranted and Perfectly sate in risking
bout my reputation and toy money on
its merits.
The following are among those diae2sea to
which My Favorite Prescription has work-
ed cures, as if by magic, and with a rertainty
never before attained by any medicine: tett-
corrhaua, Excessive Flowing, Painful MonthlyPeriods Suppressions when from unnatural
causes, 1rr€guiaritics, Weak Back. l'r.ihapsua. r+r
falling of the Uterus, Anteversion and Itctmyer-
Bion, Bearing Down Sensations. Internal heat,
Nervous Depression, Debility, Despondency.
Titre:notice Miscarriage, Chronic Congestion, In-
flammation and Ulceration of the sterna. impo-
toner, Barrenness, or Sterility, remote weakness,
and ear,' utany other ehrmrie, diseases incident to
woman not mentioned here. In n11 affections of
this nature, my Favorite 1're.seriinion works
aures—the marvel of the world. This
medicine I do not extol as. a cure -tel. but it
admirable 122141ls a singleness of intr.
pose, being a Most perfect specific in all chronic
diseases of the sexual system of woman. It will
not disappoint, nor will it do harm, iu any state
or contrition.
Those who desire further information no these
subjects can obttdn it In TSE Pnor Ltt's Cos1310N
SENSE ,IIBDICAr. AOV1SElt, a book of over two
pages, sent, post-paid, on receipt of $1.50. It
treats minutely of those disease; 1peculiar to
Fomalcs. and gives much valuable advice iu re-
gard to clic al3ntigelnellt of those 1tl'ectian3.
FAVORITE PRESCRIPTION SOLD
1111 ALL DRUGGISTS.
R. Y, PIERCE, M. D., Frop'r,
13 UFi'ALQ,
UO TO
R.& E. SP1CFaR'S
—FOR—
GROCERIES
Always New and Fresh.
FLOUR, ,
ANDFEEDPROVISIONS,
EAitTHEN W ABE,
COAL OIL
Soap Given Away
--21 Bars for One Dollar.—
Good Vinegar. 20e. pef, Gallon, Choice
Syrups. Market Baskets—olteap.
N, B. Don't forget the pleoo--R. & E. Spi- '
cer's, oppo8ite Mr. E. C hristie's Hotel.
Produce taken in exohangsfor geode.
R. &Ts EPIC'