HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1878-1-31, Page 6THE TIMES'
FUNNY FARA,GRAPIIS,
Artelulle Ward said of the Mormons
ites, "Their religiou is singular, batt
their wises'stre plural."
The Auiericiatts say of n men of aver -
A CAT STORY,
The editor of the Brunswick (Me.)
Telegraph is fond of telling ataxies
about iutelligent animals, and fo>,zder
of the animals tlienisebves, Hie latest
TIIE LINIE EILN CLUB.
Under this Beal the Secretary read a
letter from Gideon Welles Slater,. a
" colored resident of Memphis, who waztt-
ngQ abilities,
Ile is good enough to be eoiiti ibntiou Is found in Ins paper for to know if any member of the Chia
President, tiff not good eueugit to run the e3th ult., and reads thin : "LCOt could furnish bins a recipe for removiirg
a heed. torte, rinse, Die E. W. Johnson, drag- oras from the feet,
A. etu. sous sign izas Leen adopted at gist, while sitting quietly iu his store, ":Docs de Writer inenshtin whe(lder
Cupatt`by t} native baker proud of his heard a scratch et his door, which he yil t eorus ,are hereditary to Lle fint'dy
'tooeittelee of English, ;lish, "Euro xeau loafs took to be that of the dog of a friend : ensanniuneoue to ztimeelf or not ).,
er �l'eine- 1"riutetl iu lar ge letters over who often visits (zits, He did ziot rise F',eked the Presidentas the letter was
Ms, ioor. !for s''.,43 moment, and heard the ecrateli 1 being, theft.
t bashful young clergyman recently l reeeeted. - lie oe eued the door and int aege, stilie.
preach ri '. � , e c"for the list time,.tan- � walked a strange at which looked IS
t to r .t r t i tvel 1 n e c . li I .od upelven. F4 1
111 ell osv d (. t
h es a sup ,;lc.e4 bis test m this wiee :—""And', in t fria'uilly way in Lie face. The eat a men .11 Bose
� everybody way of2lieall aztz orpitt to ilia,
ini,ezeii:ztely the eocic wept, and Peter ; r zrttnma1 about the 6tore, going as eats eriba a remedy iiia] into tar sometime seat may
1veEit eet tt'it1 ere bitterly."" into ll the odd woes :and e.rilcre.:;tee een in de fam'h for a Izundred
At a p aiuter festival the teelowttte.1 ntally she calve behin+1 the mutter, y ars ;dein .' Write Mari dal alio ere
teetet vies given :-•--'erho editor wet . where the I)•tetor was meting upon ., club am higher up atm d.. corn biztiess,'
lawyer—the devil is et;ti a,•.1 with the eft,totner. Turning around he tonz.al Jana ainzee him to cat leis ht oft QR,"
copy of the former, bat repes the , the eat ata drawer" eudenvo-u to get ;
original of that:atter-" the knob in her month :ma with Matin , FIETITIONS.
Cleveland young women write coni ^ peeve uremia it, ezz(e avenins nein:rent- ii V fader this heat] tie S. eietsaryreat( a
xlieltt9 on the- margine of the library y iy: to poll oast thi drawer. Ito drove • 114 st ar from Wm. Balt QA colored re i-
ut. veld tipsy ri':a:1. Oats e:uott^)ntal ~rifts- 1 the eat attar, not thltld:U ler 7a Allo E,
,. ;� dent of t.levelazl(1, lvllo purposed rt-'
tare write-, write range of love are t:tya:t whet she W4$ 411:G.r. Itt V$ t +Sti ; irola'rn" to this city' in ibo 0PeiQig if
grate, I have lieu there ray self." eeeetele pt1Sa'y haat again at :1'0;-rle, and eketed to member of the Chao. Ile
,eat itluer:antYettl;t?e l+i'eeelter,lprearts- :; this time the Doei;ar fr tli11el h' hint i': slated that he hail izr•en (all'1•riutentlent
zit"; en the 11 R' li'19r:tvit}•,f Mie age, tittinl a tlrtt she wad at the c�attlie tlr:awor. IIs' �pf a eider mei, etaul l et tertzfietates of
".tett little elttaalretl who could neither oeenea, it threw a it'uzdfadl of the herb, t el"araeter ham a petit maa.:u 1 that
LL r walk were to be Seen miming ]ming, . in the t:'.'ing of whieh and in to1liat r in 'life" chief reason u Etat r( t:tnTitz,n, to I)8-
ti,eo It the streets cunei a !nzzat ewt'axin' weiclt the Cattp4tit;idyl t') bps in t(:.t,teit.ti,''heel. viii to get into a ]dote ritiej ltls
.e, Ley preitu 1 n 1:104 res {I.:o { lie p eve ]'tiff:] ti eetei:al a eco, hits pose i amenn city.
mat the other meriting with the weed i heel her tel. ri•ry st,ial ttfti r leavzut, tit, ' "iI)(t St:;trtpttlrz will real). to ;int iot-
a \1 eleetne " stainl•t'a1 thereon in glow- ,store, The T),tuter hint tuner 14i en list' ; ter," tiui 1 the Prt'si:letlt. "an' Mk de
lift; lettere,. azlel ow lira to come along before, taotl had not t ]sent hereinee+ , roans. it larameh ,toe 'le church ho b'•
gala pleult his number devote Au it Wad ; ::it11: Cat ? in 1?ttr:znat of in,'tlze,rtr? "f Aif p ioeo •y t', -we don't eat'' to '!wet envy
a beck ]agent. ea, hew dial tete It?ttitl 1-: hex- to go anti o•Ut'+i,b,r,+ ieter Ilia Cla:l► to (1'Qseieato dein
A Settee +R; et) eee :.- "'' bo B ztish rut it 1S!lf:l'i" t4-1 Wei; k z' it \:) We 5t:at,C , e1"=!ti•Ql: hee ttf?: ¢tl"tioat tip. berme, 1. Like* t.iett"irt, sir, ezeaa'ti et John Dell to Olin fade." weir, , 1'ft+ da eeesItein right t4) lzitl) le ,
jonatl"an, "is one eon widen the t•Uez — ......_ "
SA4nvr:r sets," "Near," reeked .It"llittLsalt 1 ;•1R. 1)1. I le k til: i:A.'S tel. f`'. i 1.(•111 i"4r ti:::e Ia a li5it 1) 1!('1;si (]tat` ''9 a
""in weevil the tae- i'a'!tti rer Bever getter " t " C .all i•" i.1Cit7t r1,"lit
°4` a , t i o 1: tit 0 4 1t 0e r le (aft, WA 141141tOr What
" :iltltir of C "+4 , A. 'd. ''t leo illi; dt Maas
Lo heal, " "'r." lµ my an: rzdl ee ir1'taree tart' nil
1� el\i+i 13Fi A. "'ti i ' -p.i dant G+tit• on tlty le art . P';1 i e vf'r t F,•�s".'t:7r flip:` , ,,.
i , . renew- nee bel' int,,t,icetioe 1 '.7,.,11 ' ��+ ]".'it•tG IN to"tlil t�iQQti•.➢ia 411. iltt tea
temporary reeeu11 au, teal lh f 11 av , satrlil (li s`rt to i1 contrary." aiASctti,e,,.1i,':4t:-�"•`a'w,t, 1 BAy ;a 1l l A. I.- -"e'en, ltiettili yea. I lay
respectable girl (ego 1Ia, n eitaava it a a , sty haul en Qe y heed anal tip"tt'1E1 fa';t
to ser -ll wee, itt a petateteetee family. ear, :ar the net" t'f tut eieeit;am never l ;( 3.
1"'olttt of et.'izldeen," ive.
Yowls letly (11 r tilt 1 sa-1t a ger,, a
Went Riding ata+i.•.0 r : "•'Mt.et a vine
on litre ti)•tt:ty, 1pertt-+r' II et furl{•
11 :t i.---• Nttt vl to' rititel:. I sill The eel'et"wrnttt•Q sits i 1 etricity Rod
iffy leen' tilt tit' to ar:el 1t of taitee ata' i•lt'('t' a 10'1" itru' e:E ttf leu a Panto in
f*rt1'nr far ilrar;e the nee of itltt,7ila:fit• 1(iaa tittal•d'. its l,Qta4r11an. ,! ;t"a(itli^Af1,. t1'lln
tug 1)ttt'era,;t :;, U' a`a➢"sal t1Qeo t lc rS a is (" 1 tlh', 1:;19 tansy
been 'i fete :)" •",4?p:tem, Wheless, there s high Peals. eNerr:tb"t, 1ti+1 my" .'really 1 n1'rov,il thea itlnmialator,
nee feieletttinooatl't:ei- Itett"':n t' 1' aw. 1tan' on my hi eat 'till thorn] ng :me ' tatpd it Fert3aa nttl�• tt tilteettattQ of time
irobbut a ileoer•sh w," Lever fordavh fro th' n o of intoxieat hat lvlten rth(�lr'be 'y'"1']111 �,t:l tjreeate Rai. Iiia
Therele-we e:w .' list itare•tite1 ttatalltt•r fa"riu t f ccltltllt*,
may anent a time, F:ay� an .T i � 1' a 1 " , In 1v1116"ll tli) Cal'd,ttl",:Il'i+ sill p �
American !paper, when everything bad .- i .. I.� ir.li time des.in t come. 1 lttt ctl, the
of the"hartz Young will be forgotten, But 'eh intuiting laid ne-elee— uta ' current 1•teit►; eitft'�ly pt -tel t]trnttt:ll a
and he will Le remembered as tin, omzlly hurt, amt feeever ftn;sllwore UK0 1pie�C 4'f kitelin, 1 e4ell is thus rely/bled
great ltliifteitltrophist who buried tame .of intoxicating beeraluges.' inetzntle •ti 2.t. I,; this caittrIVO nee it
ty-seven niotllera•iu•law in 4 (l4::01 1 P. tI--Sett.lnute:again 1 Thiel' el ellen a that for to fait e,n be mean,
yearn. lasllt time. Lee ]ply haus ttoinntyee 1-0pnpph ;t monbt'r of li riztq, a left
A Yaukee pedlar with his cart over- hie heart, anti tulle:er fttelav:iar ttge, et ttil;atent to a rttauiufn gee bnrtter.
taking another of his clan on the roads, of intoxicating bevttlage>z,' Tf this !net e1ia;ipae ry proves what 11 alp -
was atttressea, "il alio, what do you 1() I', M.--`Laatred, till tits tnf—fu I Pesaro, thriz the dura, or nights rattler,
entry "?" "Drugs," was the reply. --hits 1--ftlf=tlttsvzng bu—hic !--owl d of l;:ts me runiltt ri•ti.
"Geed," retureed theother ; "you may 'heal jolly (too' fstf---£eller `—Le' ti fa -1 -
go forward. I carry gravestones ?" lever f'bilwear urge of tocl:shieadel �v i
A. girl worked the motto. "I need bevagies. ,, h �Grooe
thee every hour," auzl pros outea it .o 11 eel 1?. M. --"Whoop lee 1 I'm
her lover. fie siay:l he can't help it ;
it trims him two hours to milk the cows
and feed the )zags. morning aitd theta,
and business hits got to be attended tta.
;last as soon as Russia, Turkey, En-
gland,
'n-gland, Austris,, Greece, anal Germany
are at war, anti the cholera breaks out,
fuel small -pox takes holt], times will
liven right up, and every Alnerieau hat
will be worn on a dant.
Teacher "Define the word texea-
vate' " Scholar ; "It means to hollow
out." Teacher : "Construct a sentence
in which the word is -properly used."
Scholar : "The baby excavates when
it gets hurt:
A country couple, newly married,
stopped at a hotel, and the bridegroom
called for some wine. When asked
what kind he would have, be replied,
"We want that kind of wine where the
corks pop out anti the livor boils up
like soap•suds."
' Old Lady : "Yes, the cook -stoves
they get up now have no end of im-
provements. I can't see through 'ern
myself, but when James gtadnates at
colie 'e, and is a good engineer, I am
going to buy a cook -stove and let him
run it.
Mark Twain_ says' he has received a
letter from ono of "cur fellow savages
in the Sandwich Islands," It appears
to be a most interesting epistle. One
passage runs --"A certain legislator
was very much put out on account of
the recent riots. IL was put out of a
two -stony window."
It was very careless leaving the par-
rot in the parlour on Sunday evening,
hut etre never thought anything about
it till Monday Morning, when Polly
roused the whole house by malting a
malting noise, and crying, i'D:u'ling
`Susie, darling Susie I" no kept it up
all day too, and the old fill are much
iuterested iu the case.
sal' ri' 1 "Sntntter'th you ? Nev. Iniutl
booieh ; talus shloe i 'th'em on, Lush
('ever f'shwenr hit:--Secltsu---f'ahwear
--tocdhy--tocksl ae;ulle --'
IT'he ue;1 strikes twelve. Mr. 1)nffb
tapes no note of time.]
TEAS, St{GAR,
11O1i11ISSEY'S MODEST REQUEST °"ST t SY11t P +, C'AN'DTED PEEL
SAGO, TAl'1OCO,.
It is related that when John Morris -
NE' I I'.I.I'P, Pbu1S,
sey was elected to Congress, and Col-
fax was Speaker, Morrissey, knowing (Chocolate, ,relaxed Corn and
Colfax's liking for a good cigar, diflci- all the leading Groceries fresh
Gently approached the door of the ! r•
Speaker's room. In the Capital building, and New.
ane day, but drew back when he saw
that a umber of other members were
inside. At length, the Iaetvisitor lum-
ina departed, John timidly venturotl in,
itud Coifax reeeived hizn with a kindly,
o )en hand.
'You like good cigars, Mr. Colfax?'
blurted out blunt Mr. Morrissey.
Mr. Colfax smiled, with an affirma-
tive motion of the head.
"Will you please accept- from me a
box of the very best Havanas eves
lauded in this cauutry ?'
'It would delight me exceedingly
iv1r. Morrissey, to receive it.'
"I'll send two of them toyourhouse
this afternoon.'
'Oh, Mr. llorrisey, you are too gener-
ous.'
'Mr. Morrissey played with his lin.
sere a while, and then blurted out
again : "i11r. Colfax, I have a favor to
ask of you.'
Colfax started alarmed, but asked,
'A.nct what is it lir. Morrissey ?'
'Why you are jnst making up your
committees, and I world hare you, if
you will, put me on one where I'll have
nothing to do.'
Colfax, relieved, smilingly gave as-
surance that the desire should be grati-
fied. And Mr. Morrissey was made
OArtilACS,COCOA,
Romantic young lady (who has die- chairman of the •committee :on revolu-
tionary pensions.
covered a faded memorial of courtship
days) : ",'Tis but a little faded flower,
bra; oh, how fondly dear 1" Practical
husband : "Dear 1 I should say so
Theta a representative of a guinea bou-
quet ; and, for buying it, I walked to
office every day, and deprived myself of
lunches for a week ?"
The Venetians shy that in all their
days they never heard such a melodi-
ons voice, as that of Adelina Patti, or
Buell a pleasing "Rosins" as she enac-
ted at the Fence Theatre just before
Christmas:
Mr. Cobden once asked an American
lady achy her country could not rest
satisfied with the immense unoccupied
territories+ it already possessed, but
must ever be lusting after the lands of
its neighbours. Tlie lady instantly re-
plied, "The propensity is a bad one, I
admit ; but we came honestly by it,
for we iuherited it from you."
We are glad to learn that gold is
dropping, through to he sure, none of
it seems to be dropping around this way.
TOBACCO STORE
Tobaccoes, and Cigars,
Pipes in
Meerscham., Wood and
Clay.
SMOKERS REQUISITES.
Cigars and Tobbacco, Whole-
sale.
C110. IIEEMP.
THE
Exeter Bazaar,
Just Received
at
J. R. C ABICB'S
ivariod assortment of Fancy Article;,, includ-
ng choice Albums, Ladies Companions, Fancy
Boles of Stationery, Gold and Silver Foil for
Ilttottoes, Dolls in China and Wax, Watches
and Chains, and all descriptions of
ELc.'T TOYS'
non
GIRLS AND TOYS ;
also".n perior Pocket Books and Purees, Cana-
dian Diaries for 1878 from 15 cents, pencils,
gens and holders, Ink and ]?aper, Envelopes
in boxes assorted, and other things toouunaer-
ons too mention.
Come, see, and buy.from me,'
Says J. R. C.
Don't forget the address, One door North of
Kemp's tobaeco Store, Matin Street.
SLEIGRS ON HAND.
Berlin Wools in every had
Bibles, beautifully bound and
Illustrated, very cheap,
CD
C
`es
CD
4
tr
CD
CD
EAD°ES
tri
.. uaii.al ',sat,
3,A?Nv. Y' 31, 1578
•
'VrI �S' lira 1t ^,flT el C Jt1,ISTOP'
—I.11 .ei):'t)laD, Lao of ti Batt•l"iau.
11 l 1 i, 1455 Q1p+•11.41 out Et 1;Itze!::4itla and or -
nage Shop ol,ip.p:ite the lits ion 110-se,I xe-
t^r, and sill da till ]"wait of I3'.c:.staaQtltlaa, ora
the shortest notice 2111.1 Ott it t . it eb " i.:tt'a
Torseskoeueg s , ..tatty. L I ANL -1 ORI)
_IAINTINU
PAINTING
KITGf I u
is prepared to do all l:fn.t- &M1f
' ii011SGPainting, P1tper.haLu
veltiteetue, cte.
atraunotztlb1elpri' tu_lpunetntatly.
r. KL.rcum:, :]fain :.t
Slitakiltt,ir 410 rill Piet, Well !WW1 f)Yett'1
1 GET 411` FLOUR AT THE
FLOM and GIST MILL,
i.J.1e." or N orti1.
'ins in tail operation The Kett/tit, eh a
sttlaz"Beat 1419 Will wit:, dlr t•^l..'' 1 nese inset inert',
u:i #; 4ti :.c • rtst t to sarric'a of the i'v6t
$ap Cu,t.;.S:r,Ci;•.
t:M `I'I I1
PettenleTe.117 Arrr,Nviria TU.
+tat.°,"•±; tet to 1, 1" atia front n nits t•tv,etb
esti! iat' i 7 .Q:2. t'1 +x.:�a;� vat.. t.va'1'l,
t4 ,�
BUTQUEit .8110P
111Liv3: 1 e 1'a nt"td i"ara ➢`n" tlit• ],14:1( t-
t:(gtti of l".ice .,er steal 11 "a.jLv a.stf L1,14'.
)I"ENE1) A Nlei'i' lit"l't'1iFi Flltyl'
ant tam s;ttitpt ort i a 1 3 ,t 1 azsla.;Qaulo una11eirtr;
tsewaatuu hi t•ral p ti i>^t t 1.44 tans. aae.rt, (11:
arts l:.ti .:. 12.144 414 Litt)
2.r. te.47, •IItrlt ,1`:n w,t.ese!r :wavy
lteoRaiatto.,xt'yrs. ti t."?tint i14lta 4 11O%or,rttnclt"r
1"111°1111"4`. 111, t.a�•.tt V11171111 1141call.titt1":+ et at -
.lout. o!1144'Vii i4,•e•thrtt•tin,v,•tuci cctl4tti:d
T'; B .141 -41:I :•'1J. 14; A. r.P
of ,411 1:.11144 f1iA1`t eontant tri on Matin/ at j014
butcher t iters
.41111
t
Mselt'irnit.tiafi anti 0.e:c"+n u)uhit,1 c .rr ,•it rot t
anon! 1411 itri.,ita,4)er,
1' IE ILLINERY
MISS G't-A„RLIOK,
has now on hand a full Mewl: of tall an.1 *relate.
afiUet,ery. :.14nal'rirails;; 0.11 the taco
nottltzes in
Rats, Bonnets,
Feathers, Flowers,
Silts, Velvet:a, fibbona,
Ilio,, at lower prices than over.
PANOY GOODS
Berlin Wools, Ottoman and Slil,p(Y
Vatter?t Y.
Jaoketi made *rent tap order. Fax trimings for
Mention and Jackets, 2.t
I�ZIS GARLICK'S,
Main St, Exelea.
THE EXETER
Planing Mill, Sash,
D O OEt AND
DE P211111
ALL KINDS OF
It U R. I N G
Pone to order.
12omember the place
Dyer O .e iS aOlve.?lei
O'.BYRN19 d 00.'S ADVERTISEMENT.
bats,
Chains,
Cattle Ties,
Axes of superior quality,
Leather Belting,
MARRIAGE LICENSES ISSUED
AT
O'BYRNE & CO.'S
HARDWARE bTOE'EE.
CORDWOOD'.
DIRY AND GREEN WOOD delis
Dred at any ,point, for sale at ail times, at
the low,t prices. Sands wanted to chop 1,0041
cords wood Apply tc 13YRNE & Co.; or to
I,BISBF L"� klxettp