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HomeMy WebLinkAboutTimes Advocate, 1994-8-3, Page 13I SWIM. 1 4,1 40C°%1111 Sante 1877 Frenchman's Inn Restaurant Everyday 5 to 6:30 p.m. Complete Dinner $ 16.95 Exeter 235-2008 Second section - August 3, 1994 Violence like 'a hole in the ground' A Lucan area woman is hoping to increase awareness of the costs of violence and abuse By Ralph Pearce Special to the T -A LUCAN - Talk- ing about do- mestic violence is similar to riding an elevator. Peo- ple become no- ticeably . un- comfortable, failing to make direct eye con- tact or staring at their shoes. For some, dis- cussing the tt- ' subject requires all the delicacy of walking on egg shells. Lynda Martens wants to change that. Since April 1993, Martens has led the Lucan chapter of HAVEN, the acronym for Help Abuse and Violence End now). She wants to see and end to violence in the home and the stigma it creates. But her methods are different. Far from identifying perpetrators, Martens wants to avoid finger -pointing and blood-letting as many people might desire.•= dnstaad;-st believes -education tel` -- be the answer. Martens became involved with HAVEN through her church and a pastoral study on fami- ly violence which her parish priest was unable to attend. Knowing her interest in family issues, he sent Martens instead. And she's carried it one step further in Lucan. "It just made more sense in a small community like Lucan to include all of the denominations and include the whole community and not just the church -goers and not just the Catholics," ex- plained Martens. At the time, Lucan is the only chapter of the five HAVEN Units in Middlesex and Perth Counties to open its doors to the community and not just to Catholic church members, although that step is being seriously considered by all. But whether in London, Lucan, or Stratford, the approach is the same: awareness and education of the fact that violence is in the community, that resources are locally available, and to learn the difference between pointing the finger of blame and identifying and trying to solve the problem. "I really think that a community has a re- sponsibility to prevention [of violence]," said Martens. The 10 members of the Lucan chapter started out last year with a goal of studying all forms of violence, not just spousal abuse or violence against women. They covered issues of wife as- sault and included violence in dating re- lationships. Then something unexpected happened. The Strathroy Women's Rural Resource Centre of- fered to open a satellite office in Lucan, to be open Thursday afternoons. Its location is kept confidential, to avoid becoming "too open" or "too visible". However, the bottom line is that information and resources are available to victims of violence. Having the Strathroy Centre closer to home also allows Martens and her group to concentrate on other issues of domestic violence; namely pos- itive parenting. "We hope to focus more on parenting issues in the future," she said. "Because I think a lot of the strength of prevention lies in the strength of young families and parents with young children." Martens also theorizes that failures in positive parenting are more closely liked with spousal or family" abuse than most people believe.'`r', "I would Ball it a partnership - and definitely they are connected," she said. Part of her university education included a re- search project on corporal punishment. Martens firmly believes positive parenting can focus on re- ducing the amount of physical punishment used in disciplining children. She acknowledges it would be next to impossible to eliminate it com- pletely, but says it should be reduced as part of ef- fectively dealing with violence in the family. Her analogy on violence and its unwanted place in society is that it is a hole in the ground with the community around it. When people fall in, po- lice, hospitals, or the women's shelters go down into the hole to bring them out. In the long run, that's a costly "social net" if the community relies J€erirne WATER DISTILLERS Provide you with these benefits... Pure water at low cost 1 Fully autc(matic 1 No bottles to cry Healthier body and skin e Aids weight control Clear Ice Cubes, no floaties No film in coffee or tea 1 Fruit juices taste better 1 Healthier plants, fish and pets 1 No descaling in coffee makers Contact lens Connects to fridge ice maker 1 Cooking water, baby formulas /Great tasting water on tap For more Information call or drop In at 342 Main St. Exeter Lifetime Home Products Exeter 23S-0699 4 on it completely. Martens views HAVEN as that part of the community that builds a fence around the edge of the hole, allowing fewer people to fall in - while helping build a stronger community. Again it all comes down to awareness and ed- ucation: trying to identify the cause of violence and deal with it accordingly. "It takes people in the community who care enough about the issues to do it," said Martens. "It can't be something that comes from us [HAVEN individuals]; it has to be something that comes from the community." Martens is interested in hearing from people who would like to help HAVEN in its work. She can be reached at 225-21 13. Victims of vi- olence in the Lucan area seeking help can reach the Women's Rural Resource Centre at 1-800- 265-5390. Lynda Martens holds the recently published newsletter from HAVEN which alms to make vi- olence and abuse a community concern, rather than just a problem for enforcement agencies and counsellors to solve after the fact. 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