HomeMy WebLinkAboutTimes Advocate, 1995-10-11, Page 11Times -Advocate, October 11, 1995
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Fear of violence has womejz
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to contribute further to the cyct
of violence with their propose
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women seeking help. The fund
By CAMERON J. WOOD
Editor--Winghant Advance -Times
Violence is the primary
health and environmental issue
in Canada for women.
Pat Marshall, of the Canadian
Panel on Violence Against
Women, made this statement in
a report to the Federation of
Women Teachers in 1992. Her
concern, like many others in the
struggle to educate the public on
violence against women, was
that the traditions of society
continued to suppress the reality
of the situation.
"If we were really dealing
with the reality...we would have
'VW warnings', violence warn-
ings like we have UV warnings
with the weather report. We'd
have messages warning women
about this environment and how
ui>ife it is across the country."
Violence against women in
Raising awareness... Goderich Town Council-
lor Lynda Rotteau addresses the crowd that gathered at the
Huron County Courthouse on September 6 to raise the public's
awareness of the plight of women in abusive relationships and
to mark the fifth anniversary of the Huron County Take Back
the Night March.
our society is a quiet plague that
festers unnoticed, or unacknowl-
edged. Some 2,000 to 4,000
women each year are murdered
by the husbands or boyfriends.
In fact, 95 per cent of the time
the woman in a relationship
where violence is present is the
victim. In Ontario in 1993 9,000
women sought safe shelter. Yet,
the debate remains low key - al-
most backroom.
The new Ontario government,
T H E WAR
AGAIiVST
WOMEN
• 1 in 5 women will be raped at
some point in their lives
• 1 in 3.5 women will be at-
tacked by a rapist
• 3 out of 4 women will be vic-
tims of at least one violent crime
• 1 in 7 of the women now in col-
lege have been raped
• More than half of college rape
victims are attacked by dates
• More than 4 out of 5 rape vic-
tims know their attackers
• Less than 5% of college wom-
en report incidents of rape to the
police
• 1 in 15 rape victims become
pregnant as a result of being
raped
• Only 7% of rapes are reported
to police. By comparison, the re-
porting rate for robbery is 53%,
assault 46% and burglary 52%
• 50% of rapes happen in a vic-
tims home.
• 2,000 to 4,000 women are
beaten to death each year
• A woman is beaten every 15
seconds
• Last year, the number of wom-
en abused by their husbands
was greater than the number of
women who got married
• 40% of all murdered women
are killed by their husbands or
boyfriends
g
e
d
r
mg and service cuts include
shelters and rape crisis centres,
child care and subsidized hous-
ing.
To combat this ignorance,
women around the world gather
each year to rally for the cause
and march to Take Back the
Night. Since the 1970s, the
event has encouraged women to
organize, speak out and fight
back against all forms of abuse.
It is a sign of solidarity against
the continuing violence and op-
pression; and an opportunity to
educate people on shelters,
available counselling, job train-
ing and advocacy efforts.
In Huron County, women and
men came together in front of
the newly renovated court house
in the Goderich square on Sep-
tember 6 - International Day for
Women's Equality - for the
fifth 'innual regional march.
And while it was a couple of
weeks ahead of the normal anni-
versary of the march, a solid
crowd of supporters attended
the rally and marched around
the square.
"There are probably a few
people here tonight who wonder
why we hold this rally to Take
Back the Night," Goderich town
councillor Lynda Rotteau said
in her address to the crowd. "It
is to draw attention to the rights
of women...human rights, as Hi-
lary Clinton stated over the
weekend in China at the U.N.
Women's Conference."
Rotteau added, "Many think
that abuse has to be obvious to
matter. That is not necessarily
true."
A QUIET PLAGUE
The war rages on at the hands ofmen
When I wrote my first
article on family vio-
lence in 1990, the ex-
ecutive director at the local shelter
for battered women asked me why
1. as a man. had such an interest in
domestic violence.
i don't think she found it that
unusual for a reporter to be seek-
ing information on the subject,
but I think she was intrigued to
learn I had volunteered for the as-
signment. Typically I feigned na-
ivety.
I'm still searching for an an-
swer. But since that time, I have
studied the issue of domestic vio-
lence and become involved in a
relationship of mutual trust and
respect.
It does seem strange to many
that a man would champion the
battle opposing violence against
women. To most, they believe a
man should maintain the machis-
mo attitude of manliness. Admit-
ting emotions on the subject goes
against thc grain — almost flaunt-
ing a modern attitude in an era of
troubled stereotypes.
But violence against women is
not a gender issue. it's a people
issue; and men, despite popular
belief, are people too. It's about
control and power - holding the
upper hand over another human.
Frequently that translates into het-
rosexual relationships. That is not
to deny the opposite exists. Vio-
lence occurs in many varying do-
mestic situations: modern rela-
• tionships in a politically correct
generation of alternate families.
Violence
in our
homes
Cameron J. Wood
However, for argument sake in
this edition, let's consider thc age
old question of man's dominance
over women and the subsequent
violence.
The war that rages on against
women affects all of us — man,
woman, child. it cats away at the
foundation of our homes and
crumbles the trust we have
worked to build up...even if nei-
ther party raise a hand.
That's because violence in our
lives affects us emotionally and
psychologically. it infests us like
a plague until we are unable to
make a single move without ques-
tioning our own motives.
Simply examine the primary
reason behind the issue today: a
society wrought with popular ex-
amples of violence against wom-
en: Marc Lepine, Paul Bernardo,
America's 0.1. Simpson, an ex-
tensive list of celebrity convicts
and killers. We find it difficult to
turn away from the reality..
These examples also tell us that
despite the crimes, we also harbor
a deep thirst for the dramatic de-
tails of what happened. Our media
reveals to us in graphic ways the
manner in which women are be-
ing killed.
With Lepine, we saw bodies
being removed from the crime
scene. Uncomparable to the
graphic nature of the Bernardo
trial, in its day the Lepine cover-
age was sensational and gory.
From that day we moved towards
a greater passion for "our right to
know".
With Bernardo, we desparately
fought to find out the details
shared in his wife's trial. During
Karla Homolka's appearance in
court, a publication ban was is-
sued — and subsequently chal-
lenged by the media. Prompted by
far-reaching public support, daily
media agencies literally bid for
any minor detail they could get.
When the American media
printed material that was banned
in Canada, the border at Buffalo
was overrun by anxious people.
each wanting a copy of the Buffa-
lo News with the Homolka story
in it.
During the Bernardo trial, the
public lined up in the wee hours
of the morning to get a seat. We
all read the graphic details of the
videotapes. Thirsty.
Only a few most likely watched
with disgust as hordes of people
emerged each night from the trial,
offering statements to the televi-
sion media about how they were
disgusted by what was being re-
vealed in court - only to admit
they would be getting back into
the lineup for tickets for the next
day's court appearance.
Gradually, we have grown
more accepting of violence in our
society. We allow our children to
play ultra -violent video games
and watch extremely graphic mo-
vies.
We lift our athletes to new lev-
els of heroism when they emerge
from jail to battle some poor slug
for 89 seconds of fame. Yet seem-
ingly forget the reason they were
incarcerated.
Violence is slowly becoming
more acceptable to us. As a new
generation of adults, we have
brought our own person level of
desensitivity and applied it to our
own children, leaving room for
their own growth. They in turn
will do the same.
The issue is not about political
correctness. That's for someone
who has very little positive input
and too much time.
The issue of violence against
women is without question con-
nected to true equality. We need
to look at ways to create a more
equal balance in society, between
all. We also need to understand
power is a positive influence
when used in a positive and con-
structive way.
i think my answer for my inter-
est in violence against women is
that because I want to be a good
husband. Someday I want to be a
good father. I want to understand
issues that will affect the impor-
tant people in my life and desire
to be a contributor to a better soci-
ety.
i think no one deserves to live
in fecr.
For some, the challenge is
how violence becomes one of
the hidden scars. Eodnomic vio-
lence: single mom's trying to
break the cycle of poverty and
violence, the wage gap between
women's and men's earnings,
lack of adequate child care to al-
low women to work or attend
school. Emotional and verbal vi-
olence: abusive and degrading
language, withholding of affec-
tiou. Sexual violence: spousal
rape arid unwanted, forced sexu-
al activity. Psychological vio-
lence: control through fear •or
threats of physical violence
paired with the destruction of
property or pets, even threats of
suicide; isolation from family
and friends.
The impact does not have to
be visible for women to live in
fear. Society and the traditions
of a male -dominated world con-
tinue to repress women in their
bid for equality...often making
the healing process for victims a
long and difficult road wrought
with obstacles.
"Physical abuse is graphic
and unacceptable, but I feel that
the verbal and emotional put-
down of women is far more dan-
gerous to society," Rotteau said.
"It is this hidden attitude that
gives men permission to com-
ment as a woman walks by, al-
lows women's rights in the
work place to be overlooked,
and gives men in a meeting per-
mission to say wait your tum."
Experts
fence is
attitudes
learned
their fami
tics point
male bat
their fa
mother.
is an a
sion of
women anti
ner to re
them.
anyone will believe them," she
said in her address to the partici-
pants of the march.
"Some women , are embar-
rassed to admit they are victims;
they do not yr t others to know
what happen to thei'ti or to
feel sorry- for m, so theyac-
cept the violen as a part} of
life," she said.
The most notable factor cited
by women in violent relat" n -
ships is that of economics. ri-
marily, wonien talk about the
fear of having to venture out on
their own and being able to af-
ford to leave the rflationship.
Women trappedintoa relation-
ship where they ha no person-
al income or savings feel they
have no option but to remain
with their abusive spouse.
Religion and cultural back-
grounds may also contribute sig-
nificantly to the cycle. of vio-
lence. In a 1982 U.S. study by
Kathleen Hofeller, she reported
that "some fundamentalist de-
nominations and the Catholic
Church, which view divorce as
unacceptable and adhere to tra-
ditional roles, make it more dif-
ficult for a woman to end a rela-
tionship in which there is
violence...counsellors on hot-
lines have been faced with a sit-
uation many times of talking to
women who were told by priests
and friends that the 'Christian'
thing to do would be to forgive
the husband."
• In Canada, experts maintain
iolence • urs in all eth-
ic, social and
ever, violence
roups is often
these women
al clinics and
ices less often,
Ontario Wom-
the cycle of vio- that
ted , y men's nic,
me have age
es from in m
ct, statis- hidd
r cent of use
witnessed other
ng their acco
believe it en's
ale expres- D
ntrol over to
their part- gras
ndent on eot
jority of crimes com-
trtittted'against women are not,
reported to the police, Clinton
Police Services Officer Brenda
Nesbitt -Carey said.
"This is frustrating," she said.
"One of the main reasons wom-
en remain in abusive relation-
ships is fear. Some are afraid of
the offender and what he will do
if they report, some are afraid of
the unknown."
Nesbitt -Carey said some find
it easier to stay within the abu-
sive environment than face the
fear of the unknown.
"Some women don't think
ence continues
d by society's
yths and ster-
ths and stere -
woman's abil-
he abuse and
aking her feel
d reluctant to seek
'>
help.
When examining violence
against women, some say, we
need only to understand that one
small influence can go a long
way in maintaining the cycle.
Society, as a whole, is mov-
ing towards equality on a level
playing field between the sexes.
However, much more is re-
quired in educating the public at
large on the cycle of violence
and the damage that is does in
our neighborhoods.
SEXUAL ASSAULT - HELPING THE VICTIM
-16 years of age and over
Victim disclosure is facilitated
by a good listener who is
patient and genuinely inviting
and says things like "I believe
you". Show care, respect
confidence, don't question
his/her reaction.
M victim
*prone
gob
Police referral to:
1. Collect evidence
2. Make reports
3. Provide protection
4. Charge the assailant
Medical examination
1. to ensure no physical damage
2. to determine potential medical
problems (STD or pregnancy)
3. to collect evidence for
possible legal action
Psychological services as a
support system for victim
N victim does not approve
of police involvement
Treatment and/or Referral
Services by trained staff
Survival Through Friendship
House of Huron County
24 -Hour Crisis Lines
1-800-265-5506/624-6245
Phoenix of Huron
Second Stage Housing
524-1620
Women Today of Huron County
482-9706
Women's House of Bruce
1-800-265-3026
Huron County Health Unit
482-3418