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HomeMy WebLinkAboutTimes Advocate, 1995-10-11, Page 11Times -Advocate, October 11, 1995 T Fear of violence has womejz according to feminists, is goin to contribute further to the cyct of violence with their propose cuts to social services and agen cies that help fund programs fo women seeking help. The fund By CAMERON J. WOOD Editor--Winghant Advance -Times Violence is the primary health and environmental issue in Canada for women. Pat Marshall, of the Canadian Panel on Violence Against Women, made this statement in a report to the Federation of Women Teachers in 1992. Her concern, like many others in the struggle to educate the public on violence against women, was that the traditions of society continued to suppress the reality of the situation. "If we were really dealing with the reality...we would have 'VW warnings', violence warn- ings like we have UV warnings with the weather report. We'd have messages warning women about this environment and how ui>ife it is across the country." Violence against women in Raising awareness... Goderich Town Council- lor Lynda Rotteau addresses the crowd that gathered at the Huron County Courthouse on September 6 to raise the public's awareness of the plight of women in abusive relationships and to mark the fifth anniversary of the Huron County Take Back the Night March. our society is a quiet plague that festers unnoticed, or unacknowl- edged. Some 2,000 to 4,000 women each year are murdered by the husbands or boyfriends. In fact, 95 per cent of the time the woman in a relationship where violence is present is the victim. In Ontario in 1993 9,000 women sought safe shelter. Yet, the debate remains low key - al- most backroom. The new Ontario government, T H E WAR AGAIiVST WOMEN • 1 in 5 women will be raped at some point in their lives • 1 in 3.5 women will be at- tacked by a rapist • 3 out of 4 women will be vic- tims of at least one violent crime • 1 in 7 of the women now in col- lege have been raped • More than half of college rape victims are attacked by dates • More than 4 out of 5 rape vic- tims know their attackers • Less than 5% of college wom- en report incidents of rape to the police • 1 in 15 rape victims become pregnant as a result of being raped • Only 7% of rapes are reported to police. By comparison, the re- porting rate for robbery is 53%, assault 46% and burglary 52% • 50% of rapes happen in a vic- tims home. • 2,000 to 4,000 women are beaten to death each year • A woman is beaten every 15 seconds • Last year, the number of wom- en abused by their husbands was greater than the number of women who got married • 40% of all murdered women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends g e d r mg and service cuts include shelters and rape crisis centres, child care and subsidized hous- ing. To combat this ignorance, women around the world gather each year to rally for the cause and march to Take Back the Night. Since the 1970s, the event has encouraged women to organize, speak out and fight back against all forms of abuse. It is a sign of solidarity against the continuing violence and op- pression; and an opportunity to educate people on shelters, available counselling, job train- ing and advocacy efforts. In Huron County, women and men came together in front of the newly renovated court house in the Goderich square on Sep- tember 6 - International Day for Women's Equality - for the fifth 'innual regional march. And while it was a couple of weeks ahead of the normal anni- versary of the march, a solid crowd of supporters attended the rally and marched around the square. "There are probably a few people here tonight who wonder why we hold this rally to Take Back the Night," Goderich town councillor Lynda Rotteau said in her address to the crowd. "It is to draw attention to the rights of women...human rights, as Hi- lary Clinton stated over the weekend in China at the U.N. Women's Conference." Rotteau added, "Many think that abuse has to be obvious to matter. That is not necessarily true." A QUIET PLAGUE The war rages on at the hands ofmen When I wrote my first article on family vio- lence in 1990, the ex- ecutive director at the local shelter for battered women asked me why 1. as a man. had such an interest in domestic violence. i don't think she found it that unusual for a reporter to be seek- ing information on the subject, but I think she was intrigued to learn I had volunteered for the as- signment. Typically I feigned na- ivety. I'm still searching for an an- swer. But since that time, I have studied the issue of domestic vio- lence and become involved in a relationship of mutual trust and respect. It does seem strange to many that a man would champion the battle opposing violence against women. To most, they believe a man should maintain the machis- mo attitude of manliness. Admit- ting emotions on the subject goes against thc grain — almost flaunt- ing a modern attitude in an era of troubled stereotypes. But violence against women is not a gender issue. it's a people issue; and men, despite popular belief, are people too. It's about control and power - holding the upper hand over another human. Frequently that translates into het- rosexual relationships. That is not to deny the opposite exists. Vio- lence occurs in many varying do- mestic situations: modern rela- • tionships in a politically correct generation of alternate families. Violence in our homes Cameron J. Wood However, for argument sake in this edition, let's consider thc age old question of man's dominance over women and the subsequent violence. The war that rages on against women affects all of us — man, woman, child. it cats away at the foundation of our homes and crumbles the trust we have worked to build up...even if nei- ther party raise a hand. That's because violence in our lives affects us emotionally and psychologically. it infests us like a plague until we are unable to make a single move without ques- tioning our own motives. Simply examine the primary reason behind the issue today: a society wrought with popular ex- amples of violence against wom- en: Marc Lepine, Paul Bernardo, America's 0.1. Simpson, an ex- tensive list of celebrity convicts and killers. We find it difficult to turn away from the reality.. These examples also tell us that despite the crimes, we also harbor a deep thirst for the dramatic de- tails of what happened. Our media reveals to us in graphic ways the manner in which women are be- ing killed. With Lepine, we saw bodies being removed from the crime scene. Uncomparable to the graphic nature of the Bernardo trial, in its day the Lepine cover- age was sensational and gory. From that day we moved towards a greater passion for "our right to know". With Bernardo, we desparately fought to find out the details shared in his wife's trial. During Karla Homolka's appearance in court, a publication ban was is- sued — and subsequently chal- lenged by the media. Prompted by far-reaching public support, daily media agencies literally bid for any minor detail they could get. When the American media printed material that was banned in Canada, the border at Buffalo was overrun by anxious people. each wanting a copy of the Buffa- lo News with the Homolka story in it. During the Bernardo trial, the public lined up in the wee hours of the morning to get a seat. We all read the graphic details of the videotapes. Thirsty. Only a few most likely watched with disgust as hordes of people emerged each night from the trial, offering statements to the televi- sion media about how they were disgusted by what was being re- vealed in court - only to admit they would be getting back into the lineup for tickets for the next day's court appearance. Gradually, we have grown more accepting of violence in our society. We allow our children to play ultra -violent video games and watch extremely graphic mo- vies. We lift our athletes to new lev- els of heroism when they emerge from jail to battle some poor slug for 89 seconds of fame. Yet seem- ingly forget the reason they were incarcerated. Violence is slowly becoming more acceptable to us. As a new generation of adults, we have brought our own person level of desensitivity and applied it to our own children, leaving room for their own growth. They in turn will do the same. The issue is not about political correctness. That's for someone who has very little positive input and too much time. The issue of violence against women is without question con- nected to true equality. We need to look at ways to create a more equal balance in society, between all. We also need to understand power is a positive influence when used in a positive and con- structive way. i think my answer for my inter- est in violence against women is that because I want to be a good husband. Someday I want to be a good father. I want to understand issues that will affect the impor- tant people in my life and desire to be a contributor to a better soci- ety. i think no one deserves to live in fecr. For some, the challenge is how violence becomes one of the hidden scars. Eodnomic vio- lence: single mom's trying to break the cycle of poverty and violence, the wage gap between women's and men's earnings, lack of adequate child care to al- low women to work or attend school. Emotional and verbal vi- olence: abusive and degrading language, withholding of affec- tiou. Sexual violence: spousal rape arid unwanted, forced sexu- al activity. Psychological vio- lence: control through fear •or threats of physical violence paired with the destruction of property or pets, even threats of suicide; isolation from family and friends. The impact does not have to be visible for women to live in fear. Society and the traditions of a male -dominated world con- tinue to repress women in their bid for equality...often making the healing process for victims a long and difficult road wrought with obstacles. "Physical abuse is graphic and unacceptable, but I feel that the verbal and emotional put- down of women is far more dan- gerous to society," Rotteau said. "It is this hidden attitude that gives men permission to com- ment as a woman walks by, al- lows women's rights in the work place to be overlooked, and gives men in a meeting per- mission to say wait your tum." Experts fence is attitudes learned their fami tics point male bat their fa mother. is an a sion of women anti ner to re them. anyone will believe them," she said in her address to the partici- pants of the march. "Some women , are embar- rassed to admit they are victims; they do not yr t others to know what happen to thei'ti or to feel sorry- for m, so theyac- cept the violen as a part} of life," she said. The most notable factor cited by women in violent relat" n - ships is that of economics. ri- marily, wonien talk about the fear of having to venture out on their own and being able to af- ford to leave the rflationship. Women trappedintoa relation- ship where they ha no person- al income or savings feel they have no option but to remain with their abusive spouse. Religion and cultural back- grounds may also contribute sig- nificantly to the cycle. of vio- lence. In a 1982 U.S. study by Kathleen Hofeller, she reported that "some fundamentalist de- nominations and the Catholic Church, which view divorce as unacceptable and adhere to tra- ditional roles, make it more dif- ficult for a woman to end a rela- tionship in which there is violence...counsellors on hot- lines have been faced with a sit- uation many times of talking to women who were told by priests and friends that the 'Christian' thing to do would be to forgive the husband." • In Canada, experts maintain iolence • urs in all eth- ic, social and ever, violence roups is often these women al clinics and ices less often, Ontario Wom- the cycle of vio- that ted , y men's nic, me have age es from in m ct, statis- hidd r cent of use witnessed other ng their acco believe it en's ale expres- D ntrol over to their part- gras ndent on eot jority of crimes com- trtittted'against women are not, reported to the police, Clinton Police Services Officer Brenda Nesbitt -Carey said. "This is frustrating," she said. "One of the main reasons wom- en remain in abusive relation- ships is fear. Some are afraid of the offender and what he will do if they report, some are afraid of the unknown." Nesbitt -Carey said some find it easier to stay within the abu- sive environment than face the fear of the unknown. "Some women don't think ence continues d by society's yths and ster- ths and stere - woman's abil- he abuse and aking her feel d reluctant to seek '> help. When examining violence against women, some say, we need only to understand that one small influence can go a long way in maintaining the cycle. Society, as a whole, is mov- ing towards equality on a level playing field between the sexes. However, much more is re- quired in educating the public at large on the cycle of violence and the damage that is does in our neighborhoods. SEXUAL ASSAULT - HELPING THE VICTIM -16 years of age and over Victim disclosure is facilitated by a good listener who is patient and genuinely inviting and says things like "I believe you". Show care, respect confidence, don't question his/her reaction. M victim *prone gob Police referral to: 1. Collect evidence 2. Make reports 3. Provide protection 4. Charge the assailant Medical examination 1. to ensure no physical damage 2. to determine potential medical problems (STD or pregnancy) 3. to collect evidence for possible legal action Psychological services as a support system for victim N victim does not approve of police involvement Treatment and/or Referral Services by trained staff Survival Through Friendship House of Huron County 24 -Hour Crisis Lines 1-800-265-5506/624-6245 Phoenix of Huron Second Stage Housing 524-1620 Women Today of Huron County 482-9706 Women's House of Bruce 1-800-265-3026 Huron County Health Unit 482-3418