HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Citizens News, 1981-09-10, Page 4Pagq 4
Citizens News Soptembsr 10, 1951
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Farmer's last will and testament
I LEAVE:
To my Wife -
My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain
it.
TomySon-
Equity on my car. Now he'll have to go to work to
meet the payments.
To my Banker -
My Soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.
To my Neighbour -
My clown suit. He'll need it ifhecontinues to farm
as he has in the past.
To the Farm Centre -
My grain bin. I was planning to let them take it
next year anyway.
To the Farm Adviser -
50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the high
market. I never did.
TotheJunkMan-
All my machinery. He's had his eyes on it for
years.
To my Undertaker -
A special request. I want six implement and fer-
tilizer dealers for my pallbearers. They are used to
carrying me.
To the Monument Maker -
Set up a jig for the epitaph, "Here lies a farmer
who has now properly assumed all of his
obligations."
Author Unknown
More than just gas from oil
John switched off the plastic cased alarm clock,
threw backthe polyester and cotton sheet and the
acrylic blanket, and sat up on the foam mattress.
His feet found his vinyl slippers, and he padded
across the acrylic carpet to the vinyl tile of the
bathroom. There he stepped into the shower, turned
on the water from the plastic piping and squeezed
the petroleum-based shampoo from its polyethylene
bottle.
As he dressed — in his part -polyester shorts,
shirt, socks, pants and tie and his vinyl -heeled shoes
— he noted that the ivy in the window was
flourishing since he had given it a shot of fertilizer
and insecticide, both made from petrochemicals.
He picked up his newspaper, printed with
petrochemical -based inks on paper manufactured
with the help of petrochemicals, and went out to his
1980 -model car, which not counting its synthetic
rubber tires and vinyl upholstery contained 90
kilograms of plastic parts. As he backed out the
driveway he flicked on the radio. A reporter was
talking about Canada's supplies of oil and natural
gas. And that, to John, meant only one thing: what
was going to happen to his gasoline?
The Review
Imperial Oil Ltd.
Canadian
Wesly
Published Each Wednesday Sy J.W. Eedy Publications Ltd.
Member:
Newspap*rs
Associ*•ion nowe►,e WeeMly News►epere
News Editor Rob Chester
Second Class Mail Registration Number 1385
Subscription Rates: $8.50 per year in advance in Canada $19.50 per year outside Canada Single copies 25Q
Aeaecietlen
s4o1
By
ROB CHESTER
September 8, 1981
I should carve the date in stone somewhere.
It marks a special occasion for me, as it is the
first year in a long time I will not be spending my
September in school.
Believe me when I say I can empathize with the
hundreds of students returning to the grind of public
education. It was a strange form of fear and
loathing - and high hopes and anticipation. -
It was renewing old friendships, lasped through
a summer, it was new faces and classes, different
mixtures of friend and foe. It was resolutions to
study a bit harder, to try out for the team, or to par-
ty more.
The first day was so untypical of the rest of the
year. The high hopes were still intact and yet to be
crushed by discipline, boredom, or indifference.
I usually looked forward to returning to school. It
meant the end of a dull summer job, and a summer
spent isolated from friends. I rarely looked forward
to the return to classes.
I have 20 first day's of classes to look back on and
most are not pleasant memories.
I began school in a new subdivision in
Kitchener.
The area was growing so quickly that every
year a new school was built and the school districts
were redefined.
As a result, until grade eight, I had not spent
more than a year in a single school. And our family
only moved once!
One year, I think it was grade 1 dr 2, I spent less
than a day in a school, before being transferred.
High school settled things down, with five full
years of relative calm.
Then followed college and university and some
agonized career decisions.
I think I'll always remember John Belushi's
line in Animal House - "Seven years of college down
the drain!"
Well for me it was six and only the first three
were down the drain.
I think people learn more by going to school
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