The URL can be used to link to this page

Home My WebLink AboutTimes Advocate, 1984-09-26, Page 7Huron Cenfre speaker details divorce mediation They seemed like a perfect couple. They were happily married, financially stable and the parents of three young children. However their 15 -year mar- riage ended in divorce court. Marital bliss became in emo- tional war zone. The happy family was divided and the children became involved in a painful situation that they couldn't understand. When couples separate and divorce, their children often suffer the most. They become innocent victims in their parents' arguments and custody battles. Children who have watched their parents' split up often feel rejected and unloved, torn apart and guilty. Some feel that their parents are for- cing them to choose between mom and dad. Others feel abandoned and frightened as they watch the secure founda- tion of their family crumble. Dr. Howard Irving is work- ing to change the system. Through a new alternative known as divorce mediation he is making divorce less of ,a bombshell and more of a peaceful compromise. The prime objective in divorce mediation is to create an amiable agreement bet- ween separated couples, one that allows them to act in the best interests of their children. Pilot project "A large percentage of children out there are suffer- ing because they become TO MARRY - Mr. and Mrs. William Parsons, Exeter are pleased to announce the forthcoming marriage of their daughter Barbara Ann to David Wilfred Turner, son of Mr. and Mrs. Murray Turner, RR 3 Ilderton. The wedding will take place Saturday, October 6, 1984 at 4:00 p.m. at Exeter United Church. Open reception to follow in Exeter. WED 50 YEARS - Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Erb celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary September 15. A fami- ly dinner was held at the Bayview Restaurant followed by o reception and dance at the Hensall Community Centre. Guests were present from Ottawa, Toronto, Tweed, London, Richmond Hill, Kitchener, Goderich, Shakespeare and surrounding area. Mary Helen's Unisex Shop Perm Special September 12 September 29 $25 (reg. 530.00) Phone 235-0782 69 Thomas Street (Use side door) Tues. - Sat. Open Thurs. night FLOORING If you're looking for carpet or vinyl for small area or an entire house • SAVE TIME • SAVE MONEY • SEE US FIRST t, a 4414 IY� er Hockey - Flooring Oo,t yourself or hove Oar Installs Ed All.n do it for you 335 Main St., S., Exeter 235.1990 pawns in their parents' bat- tles," says Dr. Irving. The University of Toronto professor was the guest speaker at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth's an- nual meeting at Goderich last week. Divorce mediation is not a new concept for the Clinton based centre. For the past year the Centre has been working to develop such a program. A pilot project, the first of its kind in this area, it at- tempts to help separated, divorced and divorcing couples make mutual out-of- court settlements for child custody and access. Dr. Irving calls the Huron Centre project, "an in- novative program." Counsellors at the Centre work with couples to develop plans that will be in the best interests of their children. The mediators act in a par- tisan manner, as advisers for couples who want to con- sider the best future of their children. Mediation involves in- dividual and joint meetings with counsellors and couples. After as few as five sessions, agreements are made and lawyers finalize the settlements. Mediation promotes per- sonalized agreements, that reflect all aspects of the cou- ple's and children's lives. It encourages joint custody, where both parents establish equal, but flexible, respon- sibilities, geared specifically to meet the child's needs. No winners, no losers Mediation has been called the positive approach to divorce. It deals with com- promise and understanding, unlike the court system where winners and losers are determined. Dr. Irving explained that divorce court puts couples at opposite ends, "When one party starts to fight, the other will likely fight back." Divorce, he noted, "Is not like Monopoly. There is life after separation and divorce. No one can win in an adver- sary situation. They get back through the kids." The mediation alternative stresses that co-operation bet- ween parents can exist after divorce. The process asks parents to think primarily of their children. It takes the responsibility from the lawyer's hands and puts it back to the family. "The family are the ones who have to live with the con- sequences of the decision and mediation lets them make the decision," Dr. Irving said. Ile added, "We try to get the smoke out of the situation. We're not interested in - she's this and he's that we're not interested in marital behaviour. We only want them to he good parents." Mediaton stresses that divorcing couples and children are still a family and they should continue to work together as a unit. Facts show that 70 to 80 percent of the couples who use mediation reach satisfactory, durable agreements. I,itigation junkies In contrast, couples who battle in court often return to court, time and time again. Dr. Irving calls them. "litiga- tion junkies - they become ad- dicted to the process. They believe it must always be a win -loss situation, not a compromise." Mediation doesn't exclude lawyers. In fact. counsellors advise coup)cs to each have legal representation. Lawyers help finalize agreements that are developed through mediation_ Dr Irving believes that mediation counsellors and lawyers should have a team work approach to divorce settlements The ultimate goal of media tion is family life after divorce Mediation doesn'I mean that couples have tc like each other, says Dr Irv- ing. but it promotes that idea that adults can put their hostilities aside, for the sake of the children "We're not advocating that they have to go out for Sunday brunch with the kids." he noted "In the final analysis it has to be the children and the parents who have to live with he agreement." Dr Irving Raid The Old Schoolhouse leaded and Stained glad Studio Offers courses in stain- ed gloss for beginners and advanced Coll 237-3373 Register now On Highway 83 West of the Village of Dashwood • SAYE .90 • EPT FOOD SPECIALS.. Almond, White or Yellow ROYALE TOWELS 2 roll pack 1.09 SAVE 1.06 Process Cheese Slices Single 500 g. KRAFT CHEESE SLICES 2.89 SAYE 1.51 SAVE .60 Minute, Quick or Large Flake OLD MILL OATS 1.35 - 1.5 kg. .99 Home Oven WHITE BREAD 450 g. loo Straight or Crinkle Cut UPERMAN FRENCH FRIES lk beg .99 , Assorted Flavours Strained xcept Meat Varieties GERBER INFANT FOODS 4.5 oz. lar 21.69. September 26 Page 7 Smooth or Crunchy KRAFT PEANUT BUTTER 500 g. jar L!!.69 SAVE � �1 1.30 Creamed BEEMAID HONEY 1.1 25% More Free Beatrice, 4 litre pads. ICE CREAM • 1.5 litre jug FANCY 19 OZ. MITCHELL APPLESAUCE B79 ASSORTED VARIETIES LIPTON CASSEROLE BASE 1.59 PURE APPLE i ORANGE 250 ml- J. JUST JUICE 1.39 6-6% OZ. ASSORTED VARIETIES BETTY CROCKER SNACK N'CAKE 1.19 4009 MILKCHOC. OR SEMI SWEET BAKER'S BAKING CHIPS 176 9 1.19 SAY(: 46 Beef. Chicken. or Liver Dr. Bollards CHAMPION DOG FOOD 425 g. tin .39 Canada Dry, 750 ml. bottle GINGER ALE /.99 5uperi.r SERF ROflIDt1P ALL BEEF CUT FROM CANADA GRADE A BEEF STEAK OR RUMP ROASTS 5.93 kg./Ib.2 • 69 5Store Sliced g COOKED HAM i PREMIUM, LAZY MAPLE OR SUGAR PLUM ORIGINAL MAPLE BEEF OR BACON FLAY BONELESS (FULL OR OUTSIDE CUT) ROUND STEAK 5.49 kg LB. 5.05 kg./Ib.2.29 SWIFTS BACON 5009PKG. 2.49 SWIFTS BROWN & FLAVOUR SAUSAGES 1.99 BONELESS i LEAN STEWING I W U 1.99u BONELESS SIRLOIN TIP ROASTS IISkt 219 LL FAST FRY INSIDE ROUND STEAKS LSO kg 299 u INSIDE ROUND STEAKS 17114 259 u T-BONE STEAKS 7.69 kg. 3.49n. TENDERIZED" BONELESS CUBE STEAK LSI Is BONELES SIRLONI Tit STEAKS tJt kt 2.89 LL FAST FRY T-SoNI OR WING STEAKS 3.69 SWIFTS PREMIUM WIENERS est 1.59u. NABISCO SHREDDIES 1 SWIFTS OLD WORLD SALAMI 2.29 SWIFTS PROM*,4.39 kg 1.99 TIME ° 02 POLISH SAUSAGE COIL 4.39 kg 1.99 . 79 POPCORN AU. BEEF CUT FROM CANADA GRADE A BEEF LOWES 2 k9 Boneless KITTY LITTER B$9 SIRLOIN STEAKS RUMP ROASTS JELLY POWDERS .49 1 S.7 kg. BLACK, OROUNO 106 ° t 92.39.-IbCLUBHOUSEPEPPER 1.99.111 1 L. Downy Super Cott 4.99 SAVE 1.40 Canadian Queen, 11/2 Ib. tin CANNED HAMS 3.59 SAVE 1.34 La Fortunno Golden Soya MARGARINE Tupperware Container 4 kip. plastic 8.9 PLAIN OR TH MUN ROOT. SPAGHEWITTI SAUCE 1.99 OASSORTED VARIETMS BETTY CROCKER 0 ° HAMBURGER HELPER 1.49 SOFT 100% PURE VEGETABLE OK lie IMPERIAL MARGARINE 2.39 ALL PURPOSE S.6 k. 5 ROSES FLOUR 2.99 UNBEDN s IETIE$ 170 STUFF N'$UCH 1.09 3M SCOURING PADS .69 WITH TRIGGER °00 WINDEX SPRAY 1.69 FOR DRY OR NOIMiIAI 226 ml £ OILY HAIR HALO SHAMPOO 1.39 ASSORTED VARNrTKS 11 to SAIIARIN DINNERS 1.49 FROZEN HIGH LMIER FISH STICKS 3.19 BAKERY HOME OVEN WHITE BREAD 450 9 . 49 Flo ngo, lOs BUTTER TARTS 1.59 BAMBY DINNER ROLLS 12• . 69 B ROWN BERRY WHEAT BREAD 675 9 .89 ,1 PRODUCT OF U.S.A. CANADA $1 THOMPSON SEEDLESS GRAPES 218k9 ■99 LB. PRODUCT OF ONTARIO CANADA 81 CAULIFLOWER .79 EACH PRODUCT OF ONT. CAN. 61 CABBAGE .35 EACH Fresh Dug - Ont. No. 1, 10 lbs. POTATOES .89 PROD. Of ONT. CAN. FANCY PAULA RSD APPLI$ 1.09 3 LB. BAG lkistilliki:=1/111111RHETS OPEN THURSDAY a, FRIDAY NIGHTS UNTIL 9 P M We Deliv235-0212 • 1