Times Advocate, 1984-08-22, Page 4Pogo 4
Times -Advocate, August Sit, 1984 •
Ames
Times Established 1873
Advocate Established 1881
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Few are
Our neighbors to the south marked a rather
dubious event last week. It was the 10th anniversary
of the resignation of Richard Nixon.
He became the first president in that nation's
history to ever give up the post through such action;
precipitated primarily because he enjoyed listening to
himself on tapes he used to record most of his White
House conversations.
Those tapes came back to haunt him as they were
used to refute his stated ignorance of government
wrong -doing in the Watergate incident.
It would have been expected that his successors
would have benefitted from the situaton by realizing
that extreme care must be exercised whenever micro-
phones or recording devices were in evidence.
However, President Ronald Reagan obviously fail-
ed to grasp the seriousness of the problem when he sat
laughing
*CNA
Expecting a
resurgence of
mosquitoes?
before a microphone prior to his weekly radio broad-
cast. Thinking the microphone was dead, he facetiously
announced: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell
you we have signed legislation today that would outlaw
Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
White House aides and Regan have attempted to
dismiss the incident as nothing more than a -harmless
joke, suggesting that the culprit was really the open
microphone and not the President's moutkj
Few people are "laughing.
The reason they're not laughing is due strictly to
the content of the unguarded comment. A President
who can jest about the prospect of world destruction
is frightening. It is even more so when he appears to
be particularly consumed with the notion.
There are a great many people who wish he would
stay away from open microphones... and take some
heat off the cold war.
Good news could turn
I've got good news and bad news."
For a small army of standup comics, that standard
opener has meant money in the pocket over the years.
But behind the laughter has been the realization that
for every silver lining there is a cloud - and vice ver-
sa. It's all a matter of perspective.
Take, for instance, statistics released recently by
the Canadian Federation of Independent Business on
the rate at which firms with less than $2 -million in an-
twaJ.§ales have been forming or dissolving qver the last
,3-1/2 years.
From one perspective, the figures paint a sad pic-
ture of business deaths - 57,00, one year, 84,000 the next,
64,000 the next. Each time a business closes, especial-
ly in a small community, it leaves a gap. Any small
business, successful or not, represents a great deal of
hard work on someone's part, and to see that come to
an end is indeed an unhappy occasion.
But from another angle, there is good news. Those
same statistics show a vibrant sector of the economy
working to survive the recession and steadily reasser-
ting its vitality.
Using data collected from its member firms and
applied to federal government statistics, the CFIB
found that even in the dark days of 1982, when 84,000
small businesses closed + 10.7 per cent of a total of
785,000 such firms), 87,000 new operations opened. That
alone points to the tremendous flexibility in the sector.
Last year 64,000 companies went under (8.1 per-
cent of the existing 787,000 firms), but births were'up
10 percent to 96,000.
And in the first six months of this year the trend
continued, with business deaths occuring at a rate of
only 7.4 percent or 30,000 firms.
These numbers tell us a number of things, not the
least of which is that oft -quoted bankruptcy figures do
not accurately reflect what's happening in the sector.
In 1982, 10,765 firms went bankrupt, federal figures
show. The CFIB added that to its information on
businesses that closed voluntarily or went into
receivership to arrive at its estimate of total deaths.
Similarly, last year, only 10,260 of the 64,000 deaths
were bankruptcies.
It is also apparent that the death rate is declining
while more and moire people are starting their own
operations.
Most important, though, is the difference between
births and deaths - the net growth of the sector - for
it is to this area we can look for relief from the burden
of unemployment, particularity among the young.
Why? At least one study has shown that fully two-
thirds of young people get their first jobs in small
firms. And a recent CFIB study showed that from 1975
to 1982 all net new jobs created in Canada were in firms
of 50 employees or less.
The implications are clear, particularly in an elec-
tion campaign: candidates must be prepared to say
what policies they would implement to increase the
business birth rate and reduce the death rate.
Unless they grasp what's at stake, the good news
could turn bad.
Numbers coming up steadily
As everyone knows, good and bad Tuck
usually comes in multiples of three.
People who have had some good torture
pass their way 00 two occasions. quickly
rush out to buy every available lottery
ticket in sight in the anticipation that the
third incident will send there onto easy
street.
Conversely, two sudden deaths in the
family or similar misfortunes can send
people scurrying for cover or to check
over their Inst will and testament
Well, the T -A staff can attest to tine fact
that misfortunes chino( come in multiples
of three. Their frequency is much greater
than that!
This has been "one of those.. years for
the staff. We've had three people in
hospital with serious ailments, one has
been involved in an auto accident, one
employee's spouse has suffered , heart
attack, an offspring of ;mottle' was
hospitalized for a month and a halt. there
have been deaths in the immediate (;rnri-
ly of two others...and on and on it goes
That's why no one was particular Iv ur
prised when the advertising manager
came
anat.er-
came through the hack door Iasi week
with his arm in a cast.
Mind you, the level of misfortunes ex-
perienced by staff members should not
have dulled the sense of regret over the
ad manager's injury to the extent that it
did, nor resulted in such a total lack of
sympathy being expressed.
But the odds appear to be stacked so
high against the staff that it has reached
the point where had news is almost ex-
pected and there is therefore some relief
when someone else's number has come up
before yours.
The writer takes some consolation in
(he fact that his number has already come
up. Others have not been so fortunate vet
and still have to suffer through the agony
of wondering what will be entailed for
them when their turn arrives.
Speaking about numbers coming up,
•
•
that will soon be the case for the can-
didates running in the September 4
federal election. Over two-thirds of them
will see their work of the past several
weeks go down the drain as they see the
totals mount against them.
To say that the election has been quiet
and lacking much interest in this area is
BATT'N
AROUND
with the editor
probably an understatement. it has
elicited little more than a passing interest
from the majority of people.
Hopefully, it will start to pick up in-
terest over the concluding few days of the
campaign as the parties and candidates
attempt to peak with some attention -
getting action.
indications at present are that Prime
Minister .John Turner is going to need a
particularly strong finish to recoup the
lead which he has squandered since call-
ing the election. Severe organizational
problems have plagued him, as well as his
rather disjointed speaking manner. The
whole effect appears to have portrayed
him as a person stumbling for a suitable
explanation after being caught with a
hand in the cookie jar.
Certainly, voters should consider more
carefully what is said than the manner in
which it is said, hut with "image" now be-
ing such an important part of a can-
didate's or party's success, Turner does
appear to he fighting an uphill battle.
Whether Turner can regain the polish
and positive image that carried him
through to the Liberal leadership is going
to be one of the more interesting aspects
of the campaign windup.
While the writer finds Turner's jerky
mannerism a negative point, PC leader
Brian Mulroney suffers from just the op-
posite malady. Ile's just a little too
smooth, leaving one with the impression
of a con artist at work.
Obviously, the ideal candidate is
somewhere in between those two ex-
tremes. However, because they are the
only legitimate contenders for the Prime
Minister's job, I'll have to weigh
something besides their speaking
manner.
I'm probably among the many Cana-
dians who stoop to considering such at-
tributes because there just doesn't appear
to he a great deal to choose between the
two leaders or the two major parties.
They both recognize that the Canadian
economy has to he given a boost,
unemployment has to be righted, and
judging from the most recent TV debate,
women's issues have to be faced.
The problem is, neither has really in-
dicated any clear-cut solutions to the pro-
thlems. Whether they choose to do so in the
remaining days at their disposal is a mat-
ter of conjecture only. Merely recogniz-
ing the problems is not enough. Practical-
ly every Canadian knows what they are;
it's the solutions to those problems we'd
like to hear enunciated.
Pinning them down has been about as
challenging as pushing a rope and both
have effectively managed to walk that
tight -rope.
Analysts who aired their opinions after
the debate on women's issues could only
find a couple of areas in which the two
leaders had any concrete ideas on the
issues on which they were asked to com-
ment. That's not much to show for a bor-
ing two-hour debate.
Obviously, one attribute both men have
is the ability to use a great number of
words to say little of much consequence..
wag
rte`!:\40. ,
No helmets please
Since 1 have been slightly
under the weather, we
have a guest columnist
this week, my daughter
Kim. So the Bill Smiley
column this week is writ-
ten by Kim Smiley, who
writes better than I do
anyway.
By Kith Smiley
Some people actually
pay money to have their
brains teased. Compila-
tions of quizzes and men-
tal challenges can be
found in any large book
store; usually under the
Games section, next to
Humor. In smaller
establishments, brain-
teaser books, which
always assure buyers that
currect solutions signify
genius, are lumped
together with Humor, a
connection that escapes
the MENSA hopefuls who
buy them.
"But why pay money for
what you can get free?"
horse sense inquires. The
following brainteaser, free
of charge, was recently
seen in the window of a
Variety store in a small
Canadian town: • "Please
do not wear helmets inside
store." We've heard of
having to wear certain
items of apparel in stores,
like shoes, but not being
allowed to wear
something? This is new:
and almost as inventive as
a sign currently adorning
a gas station in that same
small town: "Free hat
with exhaust system in-
spection." In my day. not
so long ago, it would have
been a simple "Free glass
with fill -up."
But what rich oppor-
tunities for the flexing of
the imagination this gas
station affords lucky
passers-by. What king of
hat, one wonders. One size
and color only or a
smorgasbord of hat
choice? A hat you
wouldn't be seen dead in
Sugar
'and Spice
Dispensed By Smiley
cynics will conclude,
reasoning that the use of
the term "hat" rather
than "cap" means the
bonus offer couldn't be
some variation on the
timelessly fashionable
baseball cap.
The speculative sit-ups
on even this modest, but
free, brainteaser could
keep one mentally Fonda -
fit for a week. How much
more so the intriguing
"Please do not wear
helmets in store."
I put my brain on the
wrack. Here are the only
reasons I could come up
with for the no -helmet rule
in the Variety store. They
range from dumb to real-
ly dumb.
1. Hardness of helmet
causing potential damage
to perishable goods and
persons.
2. Potential theft, there
being room to tuck stolen
goods in space between
top of head and helmet.
3. Managerial prejudice
We
One thing that I have
never done in the past was
to ally myself with a par-
ticular party and say that
"i am a Liberal, New
Democrat or Conser-
vative" and that whatever
happens in the Parliament
that 1 will vote for that
person. l want to be able to
look at what is going on
and vote in the next elec-
tion accordingly.
However i will state
categorically that i will
not be voting for the
Liberal party on
September 4 even though
i very much respect the
gentlemen running in my
own area.
Over the next two weeks
I'll tell you why I'm real-
ly angry and why I feel we
need a change.
Basically it comes down
to a political party which
has been in power for six-
teen years and has totally
lost touch with the
average person in the
against motorcycle
drivers, as opposed to,
say, construction workers.
Notice, the sign specifies
"helmets," not "hard
hats".
4. Related to above, sim-
ple helmet phobia on the
part of the store manager.
Isn't there something
frightening about the par-
tially disguised face and
overly -protected head of
the helmet wearer?
5. Storemanager's plan
in event of holdups is to
use club he keeps behind
counter on thief's head.
Manager lacks imagina-
tion to devise alternate
plan and therefore forbids
helmets in store.
6. Potential use of
helmet as weapon -
helmeted customer,
enraged at rising costs,
charges bull -like at store-
keeper.
7. Store manager is in
league with gas station
owner offering free hat
with exhaust system in-
spection. Hats offered are,
in fact cheap Taiwan -
made helmets. While
motorcyclist leaves his
helmet draped on
handlebars to dash into
store for a Coke, gas sta-
tion owner's thug steals
heimet and fouls up ex-
haust system.
My own mental system
exhausted, I offered the
list to my family for in-
spection. Discussion settl-
ed chiefly around
possibility Number Two -
potential theft. They
decided that the purpose
of the sign in the window
must be to prfevent so-
meone from entering the
store with a helmet tuck-
ed nonchalantly under his
arm, then furtively plac-
ing a can of beans or a
pound of bacon on this'
head, quickly donning the
helmet and walking
through the cash, coolly
buying a pack of gum, just
to cover up, you unders-
tand. Against my protests
that allowable purses,
bags or large pockets
would serve just as well
and be less painful, they
stood fast.
Well, I finally just ask-
ed. I went down to the
store, and, under the
pretext of coolly buying a
pack of gum, asked the
burning question: "How
come you can't wear
helmets in the store?" She
laughed a little, "Well,
they garble, you know."
It took me several
moments to even begin to
see.
"But they just have
those mouth guard things,
don't they?" I made
mouth guard gestures,
thinking of kids' hockey
helmets of 20 years ago.
"No," she explained,
"they have fact, visors. A
lot of people keep their
visors down and we can't
make out what they're
saying."
need a change
country, the person who
has ended up paying the
bills for the shambles the
economy is in, yet has lit-
ing fun of Robert Stanfield
for suggesting that wage
and price controls should
be introduced then turning
Perspectives
By Syd Fletcher
tle or no say in what is go-
ing on.
Here are some issues
which the Liberals have
either ignored or made
much worse.
An unemployment rate
of over 11 percent, and far
higher in some parts of the
country.
Regular deliberate Tying
(or misconstruction of the
facts if you wish) by the
prime minister: a) mak-
right around and introduc-
ing them himself not long
afterward h) mocking Joe
Clark for talking of an 18
cent excise tax on gasoline
then turning around as
soon as he was in power
and introducing one
almost twice as large.
it's interesting to note
that the stated purpose of
the excise tax was to buy
Petro -Canada but you can
be sure that once that
company was paid for that
the excise tax was never
removed.
By 1967 this country had
a net federal debt of $18
billion. By April of 1985
that debt will have reach-
ed $180 billion. The
government now borrows
over $20 billion a year just
to meet its interest
payments!!
nterest rates that have
skyrocketed may be blam-
ed on the United States
quite easily and 1 have
easily forced the lenders
to set up a variable repay-
ment schedule (similar to
what they have now) so
that even though the in-
terest rates rose smaller
amounts of principal could
have been paid off keeping
the payments lower. In-
stead the government
allowed hundreds of peo-
ple to lose their homes and
thousands of businesses to
go bankrupt.
More next week.