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Times Advocate, 1999-05-05, Page 17Wednesday, May 5, 1999 . Exeter Tirneo-Advoca&e 17 Community Coul o events like the Littleton Massacre ha By Leonard Lesser As a counsellor, teacher and parent, l am horrified at the news of yet another senseless killing at a high school. This time it was in a town called Littleton in the state of Colorado, an afflu- ent community of church- going good citizens. What went wrong. How could two bright teen age youth arm themselves with shot guns, pipe bombs and return to school to kill their fellow students? How much anger, frustration and hate doles one have to possess to laugh while you are gun- ning down young athletes, blacks and anyone else who crossed your path? Twenty-three young peo- ple were hospitalized, 15 dead including the student gunmen who committed suicide and one favourite teacher who was extermi- nated while trying to pro- tect his students. Who were the perpetra- tors of such a heinous crime? Two teenagers, Eric Harris, 18, was "average in every way" and Dylan Klebdld, 17, "a bright artic- ulate young man with a promising future". They dressed differently than the rest of the kids in long black coats and were called the Trench Coat Mafia. They came from "good families". Dylan lived in a $500,000 home with eight expensive cars including a BMW that he drove to school. His parents were professionals, his dad was a geophysicist and his mom was employed at the local college working with dis- abled students. Eric lived with his parents in a nice subdivision with a two car garage where he used to make pipe bombs . Their dress and behav- iour would have alienated them from the rest of the school population where the norm was to fit in and be accepted: Once you cross the line and are known as a geek, nerd or fag, you form your own little cliques to have a 'sense of belonging. To look and act different is not cool and is a recipe for being shunned by your fellow classmates, forcing you to look inward and withdraw from social interaction with your peers. The lines are quickly .drawn. It is very hard to move back to the "in group" from the outsiders and when you try you may be left in limbo, not accepted • by anyone. Young males are seen by society asself assured but the reality is somewhat different. The U.S. stats show that in 1995 , 4,132 fifteen- to twenty- year -old males committed suicide compared to 652 females. The Canadian stats for 1998: 217 males compared to 47 females took their lives, a five to one ratio. The girls seek out help and are able to talk out their problems while the boys have been taught to keep their concerns to themselves and tough it out. I once aiked a young man how things were going and his answer was "not bad". I, asked "Would you say good?" and he respond- ed "No". He was contem- plating taking his life because of his dilemma. Thank God I asked the right question. Could the Littleton mas- sacre have occurred here in small town Ontario? I posed the question to a group of parents and teens and they felt that we are not immune and could suffer a similar fate. My own experience tells me that it could hap- pen. At my last school a teacher told me that one of my students that I coun- selled had brought a shot gun to the .school. His best friend had killed himself the weekend before with. a The Hensatl-Tyke Braves finished the season by win- ning bronze medals at the recent St. Catharines tour- nament. Lying in front Sean Consitt, left, Justin Campbell; front left: Ryan Cooper, Brett Parker, Ryan Consitt, Collin Dickins, Ben Hovius, Jordan Ritchie, Tyler Regier, Justin Meikle; back left: Steven .• Thomson, Stephen Troyer, Jamie Baer, coach Julie Ritchie, Patrick Armstrong, Sam Stewart and assistant coach Randy Parker. Absent is Dylan Fidler. (photolcontributed) NOTICE 1.,4 SHIPKA COMMUNITY CENTER MEMBERS 0-4 Due to increaping costs and decreasing use, members present at the annual meeting on April 26, 1999 have agreed to consider the closure, disbanding and sale of the Shipka Community Centre. If you have any questions or concerns regarding this matter please contact one of the following members before May 26, 1999. John Mull410 238-8536 Sheona Baker 238-558511.'4 Ross Pickering 237-3417 Harold Flnkbeiner 23$-2690 1 sawed off shot gun. We confiscated the weapon and called the police, who informed the parents and he got some help. 1 trem- bled when 1 realized how fortunate I had been that an anonymous student had:, set off the alarm bells. I do not have all the answers but just maybe we can question why some teenagers act out against society. It is a far different world than when I started counselling in high school many years ago. The access to information is so much more pervasive, the Til and the computer have the potential to bring violence into our family rooms. The net is an open window for our youth to explore. There are positive and very nega- tive web pages that are open at the click of .the mouse. Yes, there are pages of information avail- able on explosives and how to make pipe bombs in the confines of your own home. A boy. in North London blew up his house after browsing the net. A quote from the web site in the explosives section reads, "WelcoMe to nowhere fast, nothing here ever lasts, nothing but memories of what never was, living makes me sick, too sick, I wish to die". A night at the movies for the kids offers up "Natural Born Killers" "The Matrix" and "The Basketball Diaries" which depict scenes of violence. The majority of the flicks listed in the paper are AA or PC. We all want to ask who is to blame? Maybe we are all a little' responsible for the massacre at Columbine High. The teenagers and the schools are all parts of our society. Times have sure changed. Greg, a divorced father of two young boys lamented that there are no firm signs, no sure futures, all is in transition. It is hard to have a rock to secure the present and make firm plans for the future. The kids call it "whatever". "It is our fault," said a parent from Littleton. "It is a sad thing. We are failing Critical Illness Doesn't Play Favourites'. Mark McLlwain Insurance Life Disability Critical Illness RSP's Anyone can become critically. ill at anytime. You could suffer a strOk`, have a heart attack, become paralyzed. or he diagnosed with cancer. Will you survive financially' Mutual Life of Canada,.load company of The Wiwi, finlp. offers Critical -Illness Insurance that will provide you with a lump sue», tax-free cash payment ror a qualified list ,if major illnesses. It can •heir with !Ionic rare. debt payments, medical ecluinment. and oilier financial transit ons affecting your quality of life. ('all today to learn more! 1K3 Main Street South Exeter ON NOM I S 1 (519) 235-1344 IqThe- Iwr,,sc'i$ will' M*dani Tile of Caun.xla. Mrw$ minty 01 Tho Mutual (:roup pen here? in values. It is time for par- ents to step up to the plate." This morning my son and daughter left for university to write their final exams. I gave them each a hug and kiss on the cheek and told them that I loved them. "Most men look at things as they are and wonder why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" Len Lesser is a counsellor providing personal, educa- tional and career coun- selling for families. He can be reached at 519-434- 8316. Ship's mast flag pole Art Slade' of King St. in Hensall has built the vil- lage's most unique flag pole, a replica of a ship's mast. Slade and his wife Florence, who hail from Newfoundland, have erected the flag pole to comp memorate Newfoundland's 50 years in Con- federation. Other Hensall residents have already requested the Siades add their flags to the mast. -444 TKIAP1IJLE Dm STORS M Prices in effect from May 3 - May 16,1999 4 11 Ladies Watches ... , ... . ASI Ladies Purses & Wallets .All Ladies Perfumes & Colognes .. Turtles aaay .. 25% off .. 25% off : .25%off $599 1111155111111.5550,11555 `Curling Irons, Hair Dryers 25% Off Jhirmack Fast Freeze Pump Hairspray - 350m1 ...$1" Glade Spin Fresh $199 Good Selection of bftr's Ley Cards by Caritrn [�i