HomeMy WebLinkAboutTimes Advocate, 1996-12-23, Page 18Page 18 Times -Advocate, December 23, 1996
Have a very nutty Christmas
By Jerry Gladman
We all know that Christmas is a
time for celebration, sharing and
love. But it's also a period in our
history in which crazy, funny, sad,
nutty, oddball and true things have
occurred. With that, in mind, allow
us to offer you a potpourri of items
from many walks of life around the
world. Enjoy.
• In every Christmas poll taken
since folks began celebrating, the
,one holiday gift roundly ridiculed
and rarely cherished has to be the
fruitcake.
In one recent survey, fully three-
quarters of those asked said that the
small, hard, rectangular package is
the one present they least like to re-
ceive. Another poll had one-third of
its participants insisting it is worst
than no gift at all.
Johnny Carson used to say there
really was only one fruitcake in the
world and it's passed from person
to person to person.
• Talk about your strange laws.
One year, in Mulberry Ha., six out-
of-state motorists were hauled be-
fore the local judge on charges of
violating a Christmas ordinance,
which makes it illegal for non -
Florida drivers to pass through the
little town on Christmas Day with-
out accepting a gift from the cop
shop.
Their sentence? Each driver had
to accept a basket of assorted fruit.
• In 1969, the B'nai Brith earned
a tip of the egg nog for its Christ-
mas spirit in a small Montreal sub-
urb.
While the 12 policemen in the
area celebrated Christmas with
their families, members of the Jew-
ish organization took over their du-
ties for 24 hours. They took phone
calls, typed reports and attended to
other routine work.
They didn't handle accidents or
crime, though.
• Pet nobody recalls a fella
named Einar Holboell.
In 1903, Danish postal clerk Hol-
boeil was so moved by the suffer-
ing of tuberculosis children on Co-
penhagen streets he came up with a
wonderful idea. Why pot add one
more penny stamp to the thousands
of Christmas letters - a levy on
healthy senders - to help alleviate
TB suffering?
It was called the Christmas Seal.
• There is a man in Peoria, Ill.
who is absolutely nuts over Christ-
mas. For years, some anonymous
person has been sending him a co-
conut every Christmas. Among the
odd ways it has arrived - on the
back of a burro, by helicopter, in
the mouth of a police dog, by a
parachutist and in the hands of an
FBI agent.
One year it was delivered by the
state university basketball coach
and all five of his star players.
• The Devil made him do it.
In Longwood, Ha., one year,
Santa was seen swinging from a
noose at the home of a devout
church -goer who believed Christ-
mas was little more than a heathen
ritual.
His neighbours were so ticked off
they threw flower pots at his house,
made threats and even called the
cops on him.
"Sorry," said the man in reply.
"We believe Santa Claus is really
Satan."
• You know, mistletoe wasn't al-
ways just an excuse to plant a slob-
bery kiss on someone.
The mysterious little plant which
grows on the branches of England's
• oaks was regarded as having magic
powers by the ancient Druid
priests. They cut it gently from the
boughs with golden knives and
hung it over doorways. Only happi-
ness, they believed; could pas un-
der it.
Think of that next time you puck-
er up.
• Did you know that at 11:30 p.m.
on December 23, 1888, famed artist
Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear
with one desperate, masochistic
swipe?
A psychiatrist, who said Christ-
mas can push the emotions to the
braking point, was convinced Van
Gogh did it in the hope of obtaining
the Christmas gifts of love and for-
giveness.
Ouch.
• And, finally, there was the good
spirited chap who skipped out of a
U.S. prison but still thought enough
of the holiday season to send
Christmas greetings to a judge,
prosecutor and an FBI agent.
The man, who was on the FBI's
most wanted list when he was later
captured, promised he would send
more greetings if he ever got free
again. And when he broke out of a
Selma, Ala, jail in 1976 - his third
successful prison escape - the cards
began appearing in the mail the
week before Christmas.
The judge said that if the escapee
would care to send along his return
address, he'd mail him a Christmas
card, too. In fact, he'd have the FBI
agent deliver it personally.
our Views
'Letters to the editor
u
A view from Stratford
...we were pleased to see that
the...study highlighted Stratford
as the hospital most appropriate --
witty spendl -its resapjpgs, "t
Dear Editor:
Health care and hospitals are going through sig-
nificant change, culminating in provincial reviews
that are -focusing on altering the role of hospitals as
we know them today. The fundamental reason for
these changes is provincial funding which, for Strat-
ford General Hospital, has declined steadily over
the past five years. During this time; Stratford Gen-
eral Hospital has ended each year with a small sur-
plus and will do so again this year. Throughout this
period we have not only maintained our existing
programs bur have added programs such as CT and
Plastic Surgery. At the same time, we have contin-
ued to attract specialists e.g. surgeons/internists, to
the area, specialists who benefit all residents of Hu-
ron and Perth. We have been able to do this only
through the continued commitment to excellence of
our highly skilled staff and all associated with the
hospital as well as by always looking at how we de-
liver care.
Of all the hospitals in Huron and Perth, Stratford,
due to the types of service available and diversity of
staff, treats the sickest patients. Not only do we treat
patients from Stratford but, due to the regional fo-
cus of the hospital, we treat a large number of pa-
tients from other parts of Huron and Perth counties.
As an example, of the hip and knee replacements
performed at Stratford General Hospital last year,
23 per cent were to Stratford residents, 32 per cent
to other residents of Perth County, 29 per cent to
residents of Huron County and l6 per cent to resi-
dents from outside both counties. This regional fo-
cus puts added financial pressure on Stratford as re-
gional programs are very expensive to deliver.
Despite this, we were pleased to see that the finan-
cial review undertaken during the current District
Health Council study highlighted Stratford as the
hospital most appropriately spending its resources.
Stratford General hospital is by far the busiest
hospital in Huron and Perth. Recent published fig-
ures highlighted that, on average, hospital beds in
Huron and Perth were 53 per cent occupied in 1995/
96. At SGH, that figure was 70 to 80 per cent. To a
patient, the most important considerations when
tialdealing.with health care are quality attd .
e l4uality depends on a number dlzid��.cel�l+s�sit
things, the most important are those providing the
care and the numbers of patients treated - what the
Health Services Restructuring Commission refers to
as "critical mass". As an example, by delivering a
lot of babies, staff and physicians regularly deal
with a broad range of situations and are, therefore,
better able to respond to problems should they arise.
Stratford delivered 763 babies (44 per cent of all
Huron/Perth deliveries) in 1995/96, an increase of
six per cent from the previous year. Supporting
these ongoing increases in deliveries at SGH are
Huron and Perth's only three obstetricians, only two
pediatricians and only special care nursery.
With respect to access, Stratford is the only hospi-
tal in Huron and Perth counties to provide 24 hour,
seven day/week trauma surgery coverage for pa-
tients needing emergency treatment. In the medical
literature, having 24 hour, seven day/week access to
a fully staffed operating room, anaesthetist and trau-
ma surgeon is considered the most appropriate way
to treat seriously injured people. In addition, a num-
ber of specialists on staff at Stratford travel to sur-
rounding communities for clinics. As just one exam-
ple, physicians from Stratford hold weekly clinics in
Listowel for gynecology, orthopaedics and internal
medicine thereby making these services more ac-
cessible to the people of Listowel.
Everyone associated with Stratford General'Hos-
pital remains completely committed to providing the
first rate health care to which the residents of Huron
and Perth have become accustomed. We will contin-
ue to look for innovative ways to provide this care
and to fulfill our role al a regional hospital for Hu-
ron and Perth. As consumers of healthcare, you can
be assured that the excellence of the programs and
services delivered will always remain our number
one priority.
David A. Rae,Chair,
Stratford General Hospital Board of Directors
Exeter Beavers recently made a donation to the Community Food Bank. Pictured from left
are: Timothy Thornton, Pieter Van Der Ley, Blair Cooper, Scott Pfaff and Gavin Harbum.
Town Service Awards were
presented by Exeter Mayor
Ben Hoogenboom at last
Monday's council meeting.
JoAnne Fields and Cam Ste-
wardson received awards for
15 years of service and Bill
Hirtzel received his for 25
years with the town.
Christmas Thoughts
By Sabrina Northover, Grade 8
Zurich Public School
As we all dance around,
As happy as can be,
I think of someone somewhere,
Who can't afford a tree.
As I think of that someone,
A tear rolls down my cheek,
I realize that being so wealthy,
t Has made me so very weak.
I suddenly realized what,
My grandpa was trying to say,
About some sort of drop box,
The church started yesterday.
I gathered up some stuff,
Some teddies and a doll,
When I arrived it was empty,
There was nothing there at all.
I started walking home,
My head hung very low,
I noticed a younger child,
Playing in the snow.
I thought to myself,
Christmas isn't about receiving,
Christmas is a time
For hope and believing.
For our Lord was born,
On this very earth
He taught us it's the thought that
counts,
Not how much it's worth.
•4.
letter to Santa
— By Natalie Klaver, Grade 1
Huron Centennial
ar Santa:
I have been a good girl this year.
� 1 would like a Barbie, a Rosie doll
land a colouring book. In my stock-
ing I would like a 9 pack of cray-
ons. On the table I left some cook-
4ies, milk and carrots for you and
Tour reindeer.
Love Natalie Klaver
FEED 1F FARM S
Suppliers of quality
Shur -Gain Feeds and
Animal Health Products
VARNA 233-9219 I
"Small in size - Big in service"
Hours: Mon. -Fri. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Saturday 8 a.m. to 12 p.m.
,14,44, grow
• hawiinif
opeclat greetings
For your friendship, good will and loyalty.
May the happiness and good cheer of the
Holiday Season be yours throughout the
New Year
Our
thanks
to you
this
holiday
season
`exele, n& ,w,ce `i3,0he,s pfd.
From all .of us at
t•
S
Exeter Insurance Brokers ,
186 Main St. Exeter 235-2211
MERRY
CHRISTMAS
& MANY
TIIANKS
We're extending our
holiday best to you
and yours. May you
enjoy each and every,
fun -filled day of this
very special holiday.
Dashwood 237-3322
76 Victoria St. E., Exeter, Ontario NOM 1S1
Tel: (519) 235-2442
We would . ike to wish everyone
vtrqwete a s Happy Hoff;
Season filled with all
of the jogs that
Christmas brings.
Merry Christmas
& Happy New Year
from all of us,
1
O Come Let Us Adore Him
May peace on earth and V
good will to all mankind
prevail as we celebrate
the miracle of Christmas.
, ` 1
Chairman - Chan Livingston
Commissioners - Ben Hoogenboom, Bev Skinner
Manager Sherman Roth
and the staff - Marilyn Sillery, Marlene Mathers, Pat Hendrick,
Dennis Hockey, Ron Moore, Scott Eveland,
Steve Skinner, Randy Bilcke
4<
EXETER PUC
233-1350 Exeter