Times Advocate, 1989-08-02, Page 4Page 4
Times -Advocate, August 2, 1989
Times Established 1871
Advocate Established 1881
Amalgamated 1924
Published Each Wednesday Morning at Esetfr, Ontario, NOM ISO
Second Class Mail Registration Number 0386.
Phone S19-235-1331 •
ISes
ROSS HAUGH
Editor
HARRY DEVRIES
Composition Manager
•CNA
11M BECKETT
Publisher & Advertising Manager
DON SMITH
Business Manager
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
Canada: $27.00 Per year; U.S.A. $68.00
A nice. place - but
The results of two recent polls
give a solid answer to a ques-
tion, one hears occasionally,
"How would you like to live in the Unit-
ed States and be an American?"
The poll conducted by Maclean's maga-
zine' reported only 15 percent of Canadi-
ans thought it would be a good idea and a.
survey by Radio 98 in London could
hardly find anyone that would like to be
an American.
A nice place to. visit, but not to be a citi-
zen. Most Canadians said the United
States is a great place to visit, but we pre-
fer to live north of the border.
Our American friends may find these
results a little confusing, given our close
geographic and historic ties.
We have a lot in common. We share
their language, their ancestories, their
music, their religion, their literature,
their love for democracy and the greatest
hockey player in the world. There may
be 98 other reasons.
The poll results are not surprising.
These are the same sentiments shared by
most Canadians for many years. If there
was any.iiesire for unification, it would
have happened a long time ago.
Although, we share much in common
with America, there are a few things
about the place that weigh heavily against
thoughts of union.
The most important objection would be
the great attachment most Americans
have to firearms. They claim to need
guns for safety sake. In Canada it's com-
pletely opposite. We feel more security
when we know that handguns are few
and far between and are apparently less
trigger-happy.
The fierce attachment to guns in the
United States is a complete mystery to
most Canadians.
Despite any debate on the issue, the re-
ply of last resort from the gun lobbyist
is:
"If you want my gun, come and get it.
You'll have to pry it from my cold; dead
fingers."
This ditty serves as a powerful symbol
and is certainly a reminder of ways that
we do fundamentally differ. Probably
ways that we might not have yet thought
of.
It's difficult to understand their ideas
on guns, given the high crime rate and a
great number of senseless homicides in
the United States.
If anything good is to be said about this,
it would be that it would be very difficult
to conquer the country with many of the
'270 million people armed to the teeth. It
will stand forever.
We have a great health care system in
which only a fraction of the population is
unprotected. The corresponding per-
cenfig : of Americans is much higher and
our premiums are much more reasona-
ble.
We seem to be a more caring country
in that we accept being heavily taxed on
most everything to help defray the costs
of expensive programs such as universal
health care.
All things considered, we could do
worse than have them as neighbours.
Americans seem like the friends you will
always cherish but with whom sharing an
apartment might hinder the relationship.
By Ross -Haugh
Appliances, small, major, and dental
Did you ever notice how many
young people have perfect teeth?
It's not because they chew more
raw meat than you and I do. It's
because their parents spend a
bundle on dental appliances,
such as braces, retainers and the
like.
Bad bites can be fixed, but not
bad genes.
Do you want to know the main
►iiyajie with these tooth -
straightening gadgets? They're
not genetic. Here's what hap-
pens:
Boy with perfect regulation bite
meets girl with beaming, toothy
smile. They get married and pro-
ciated that word only with fridg
es and stoves (major applianc-
es), with toasters and"'electric
kettles (small appliances). Well,
I've been educated. I have
learned all about dental applianc-
es. The ones that cost more than
the major ones.
Agreement with jhe
dentist.
The appliance dealer, sorry, I
mean the dentist made an agree-
ment with Alex. The party of the
first part would give up sucking
his thumb, and the party of the
second part would fit the party
of the first part with a state-of-
the-art corrective device. To be
back in, soak it, clean it, and re-
member to do all these things.
Version 1 vanishes
I'm not saying that it was de-
liberate. Not like a boy losing a
pair of gloves he hates. But it
only took three days before the
appliance vanished. A thousand
dollars worth of Canadian tech-
nology disappeared without a
trace. At least. he consoled hs,
the box was still there. The
shiny -blue box that would have
cost $5 to replace.
Another fitting, another appli-
ance, another contract. Another
day older and deeper in debt.
. Verslon 2 ends up
imilumg
y..
d...a__.. _. WeeyCS.
1► .t�a�t we knew where it ended
l ri�"kT -' 'dam! i�1S...slla,L.Ihe.
children wntiaf); ince.:
book teeth. You'd be wrong.
They'll be afflicted with the same
overbite or buckteeth or crowded
jaws that had been the curse of
Their parents - before the parents
had their own teeth fixed.
Take Alexander, for instance
If his mother hadn't wom braces
for a few years, I wouldn't have
married her. Elizabeth married
me in spite of my ,crooked teeth
because of my numerous other
qualities. So our kids had the
cards stacked against them, den-
tally speaking.
In addition, Alex (as he now
prefers to be called) had a
thumb -sucking problem. To
make an expensive story short:
he needed an "appliance."
Until very recently I had asso-
POINT
•
1
financed by certain third parties
also known as parents.
1 let you figure out who the
winners and losers were in the
deal. Alex had it figured out on
the day he was fitted with the
bothersome thing. Number one,
he lost the comfort of his
thumb. Number two, he was
stuck with a piece of metal and
plastic in his mouth. Number
three, he had a lot of new re-
sponsibilities: take it out for
meals and put it in a box, put it
Serving South Huron, North Middlesex
& North Lambton Since 1873
Published by J.W. Eedy Publications Limited
MY WIFE SAID ALL -11.1E
VIOLENCE I WATCH ON TV.
HAS A SAD INFLUENCE
Ott Mt. SOI SOCKED HER`
itOrrif9ir MilanPIATaO
Plow profits
Anyone who attended the 1988
-International Plowing Match has
since realized it was one of the
best ever held in the province.
It was successful in many
ways, but the financial aspects
were not known officially until a
recent special press conference
was held at the Stratford Colli-
seum to hand out donations from
the. profits.
All of Perth county will benefit
as more than $194,000 was
handed out to 32 different organi-
zations around the county and
hospitals and senior homes vi+ere
the big winners.
The Stratford General Hospital
Foundation received the biggest
amount of $60,000 to be used to
purchase a blood pressure moni-
tor and their CTA scan fund. The
St. Marys and Listowel Memorial
Hospitals each received $30,000.
The Ritz Lutheran Villa in
Mitchell received $7,500 as did
other homes for the aged in the
county such as Spruce Lodge,
Maitland Terrace and Knollcrest
Lodge.
Closer to home, the Kirkton
Agriculural Society received
$250 along with three other fairs
back
located on the county bounda-
ries.
Local committee chairman
Doug Aitcheson said, " We tried
our best to spread the money
around, and be at all fair as
From the
,editor's disk
by
Ross Haugh IMO
much as possible.- When all is
said and.done, we have indeed
made us all Perth County
proud." -
In total, the Intemational Match
generated a revenue of
$1,1111,092.58 with expenses
at $916,964.300 leaving a net
profit of $194,128.88.
While the $194,000 profit
sounds impressive and it certain-
ly is; that's only part of the fi-
nancial benefits gained by the
county of Perth and its residents.
Many Perth organizations and
service clubs participated during
the match with security, parking
and their own independent fund
raising projects. It's estimated
that in excess of $100,000 was
raised by these other groups.
The Ontario Plowmen's Asso-
ciation which sponsors and sup-
ports the match each year in its
different locations received
$174,000.
The 1988 match was blessed
with excellent weather conditions
which were largely responsible
for the great attendance and sub-
sequent profitable financial situa-
tion.
The OPA share of the profits
this year should ensure success-
ful matches for a number of years
to come, even if bad weather
does appear.
The decision a couple of years
ago to hold the match several
weeks earlier seems to have
helped with weather problems.
We remember very well, the
problems encountered in the mud
at Seaforth and Lucan. It can
happen again, so these extra fi-
nances could come in handy.
* * * *
Pun of the Week: A true friend
walks in when other friends are
walking out.
Going to the -dogs
Brace yourself. I know this
will come as quite a shock, but
Don and I have been having an
argument lately. About our dog.
Astra is the daughter of a pro-
miscuous Sheltie. She was given
to us 15 years ago by a woman
who lived at Vanastra. As Don
had trained as a radio officer
while the site was an active mili-
tary base, and as the Air Force
motto is` "Per ardua ad astra
(through adversity to the stars',
naming the newest member of
ayrramity was easy. .... .
At first, Astra did live up to her
up. At the McNab 'I osrrts9 . -t amour >rm+p • .^ ..+..5 -
municipal waste disposal site.
known in the vernacular as the
clump. It didn't get there direct-
ly. It was first neatly wrapped in
a paper napkin, left on a table in
the school gym during lunch
period, thrown in a garbage bin,
and then trucked to the dump.
Knowing the route it took made
it a lot easier for all of us. And
we now had two empty shiny -
blue boxes.
Version 3 has close calls
I have personally fished ver-
sion 3 out of P.J.'s garbage can
(not all that pleasant since P.J.'s
had a special on spaghetti and
meat sauce that day), and re-
trievedit from the grandparents'
Please turn to page 5
ea-
versity were synonomous. She
chewed the' rugS, 'Inc furniture,
the handle on the oven door, and
the thumb out of my treasured
black kid gloves. Her snapping
made a friend speculate she was
part wolf.
However, she did grow up to
be a good dog, loyal and protec-
tive. She and our youngest son
were inseparable.
But time does not stand still.
Our son is marric 1, and the father.
of two young daughters. His
family now has priority in his af-
fections.
Alttra, too has aged. She is
obese. She is deaf`7-iet eyes are
clouded with cataracts. Getting
to her feet is obviously painful.
She falls down the steps, and
has to be boosted up.
Most serious, Astra is losing
control of her bladder. She wet
the dining room carpet once too
often, and is now confined to the
Reynold's
Rap
Yvonne
kitchen. A baby gate bars her
* .t,n}ur,s'.
and threatens to impale us every
time we step over it.
One day while sitting at the
table reading, I heard a funny
lapping sound. I looked up, and
what I saw was pitiful. Astra
had made a puddle on the floor,
and was trying to lick it up. The,
stricken, shamed look on her
face spoke volumes.
Now for the argument. Don
knows the old dog's condition.
He is aware she no longer enjoys
life the way- she should. He
hopes a heart attack will carry
her away, but refuses to actively
intervene.
I counter that allowing Astra to
gradually deteriorate before our
eyes is cruel and inhumane.
A few weeks ago, lethal drugs
used for active euthenasia were
reported stolen from a number of
veterinary clinirc on has
voiced the suspicion that I was
responsible, and that if Astra is
put down, he may De next. I
wamed him not to start watering
the rugs. Just in case. •
* * * *
If we resolve this disagree-
ment, another looms on the hori-
con. What kind of dog will we
,get to replace Astra?
Don wants to pick one up at a
humane society. And his choice
would be a good-sized animal. I.
tun#ntclltl.n fn tntrnrf in n;12i01.n,+
Frise. Shih Tzus are also very
appealing little creatures. I'll
even settle for a Cockapoo.
The winner of either or both
arguments will be divulged in a
future column.
* * * *
The.T-A's dark room techni-
cian is quite unsympathetic to the
whole topic. A young friend re-
cently told him her father put
their family pet down because it
was getting old and losing its
hair. Just because the dark room
technician will be retiring in a
few years, and no longer needs a
comb, is no reason to take things
personally! .