HomeMy WebLinkAboutTimes-Advocate, 1986-11-05, Page 37FamIy''Changes Holidays,
Lauihter and Tears
Sy Bobbie Lippman
rom the window of the
Omaha, Neb., airport
coffee shop I can see
snow swirling around
out on the runway. In a
little while, 1 will be
flying home.
I am sitting here with a cup of
coffee, my writing pad and an
attitude of gratitude. 1 don't
know many people my age who
still have both parents living.
Most important, Mom and Dad
are together, in their own little
nest, still functioning more or
less independently.
Now that they are in their
mid -80s, 1 try to return to my
home town at least twice a year
for a visit. Each time 1 go, I am
more aware of' the aging
process. Mother no longer sees,
and my father has painful
arthritis. I am especially grateful
Land so are they) that their
minds and memories are as
sharp as ever.
The past eight days have been
filled with a flurry of activity,
the kind of activity that goes on
in a loving family when a
prodigal child shows up from a
faraway place.
Although I have brothers with
their own families in Omaha,
plus a few other relatives, my
choice is always to stay with
"Mom and Dad. They love the
frequent ringing of the phone,
and people popping in to visit.
Each morning, as in the story
of "The Three Bears," Dad
makes three bowls of cereal.
With prunes. The three of us
often go out to lunch. My
mother's blindness and frailty
allow us to park in what they
call the "weak, lame and lazy"
space. Dad still drives (daytime
only) but 1 sense the day is
coming when he will have to
hang up the car keys. And it
hurts to think about it.
Independence is a priceless
thing, and bit by bit these two
formerly vital people are losing
it.
They asked me to go with
them to look at a "rest home."
Although the place was clean
and cheerful, it was difficult
picturing what life would be like
for them there.
Afterwards, I overheard them
talking in their bedroom about
the pros and cons of making
such a decision. Mom said to
Dad, "You know, honey, let's
just keep praying that we can
stay in our own little
home...right up until the end."
The three of us usually take a
drive, just so I can see how
Omaha has grown since I left
there so long ago. Mom and
Dad love to point out the tiny
third -floor apartment they first
lived in after their honeymoon
62 years ago.
Our drive takes us past the big
frame house my Swedish
grandfather built, and where
eight children were raised. That
big, old house eventually
A family's love is a
precious thing.
became my parents' home,
where they raised my three
brothers and me.
Mom and Dad always ask if
I'd like to "visit the cemetery."
1 say yes, simply because it
doesn't feel right to say no.
Many relatives are buried there
and, like most cemeteries, you
can walk around and feel the
history of a whole family.
Children who died too young, a
cousin killed on his motorcycle,
aunts and uncles, my oldest
brother, Jim, and my
grandparents.
Mom and Dad took care of
their own arrangements a few
years ago. They didn't want
their kids making such heavy
decisions when the time comes.
Their marker is already in place.
The first time I read the
inscription it was impossible to
hold back'the tears. It says
simply, "Together Forever,"
with their names, their birth
dates and then two blank spaces
for the final dates.
Don't get me wrong. There
are more smiles than tears
during these eight days.
My brothers love talking
football...especially Nebraska
football. The state's slogan is
"Go Big Red." The state tree is
a goalpost. The state bird is a
football, with wings. The third
largest population in Nebraska is
Lincoln Memorial Stadium on a
Saturday afternoon.
I also listened to how badly
the farmers are doing. A local
bitter joke goes like this: "What
is the difference between a
farmer and a pigeon? A pigeon
can make a deposit on a new
tractor."
On a clear, crisp Tuesday,
Mom asked if just the two of us
could go to lunch — a
"mother -daughter day," she
called it. 1 was shocked when
she asked if we could have a
glass of wine, as it is frowned
upon in their church. With eyes
that no longer see, she lifted her
glass in the direction of mine
and made a toast to life and
love."
We spent two precious hours
talking non-stop, like old
friends. She surprised me by
apologizing for never giving me
an allowance. Then she gave me
an envelope on which she had
managed to scribble, "This is
the allowance we could never
afford to give you. Please buy a
colorful windsocket kite for your
deck, and when it flies in the
wind, it'll remind you of Mom
and Dad."
Two days later the whole
family gathered at my brother
Dan's house to celebrate an
early Thanksgiving with
everyone bringing all the
traditional foods. After dinner,
as is our family's custom, out
came the guitars and
harmonicas.
I watched Mom's gnarled
fingers search carefully for the
right buttons on her tape
recorder. I listened to Dad play
all the old songs on his
harmonica. Children joined in,
and the house was filled with
laughter and music. 1 had
trouble singing because of a
large lump in my throat,
especially after trying to get
through a duet of "In the
Garden" with my mother.
Now it's time to head for
Gate 14 and the long trip back.
I'm feeling torn, as there's part
of me that needs to be here. A
family's love is a precious thing,
' and this is the time of the year
when people seem to focus more
on the things that are important.
On this Thanksgiving, maybe
more than ever before, 1 am
counting the blessings of a
caring husband and wonderful
friends and family. But most
especially the blessing of -
knowing I can still pick up the
phone and hear the voices of
those two old people in Omaha.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!■
PANJA
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Consider an Ellison Travel gift certificate to solve Christmas shopping. You can buy a gift cer-
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DAY TOURS -
Royal Winter Fair - November 13th - $28.00 p.p.
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TOUR REPORTS
PHYLLIS VISITS CURACAO - Curacao is a beatiful Dutch island in the Caribbean and is known
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Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic is definitely the new hot spot this winter. Suppliers are
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Mike Burke has left Ellison Travel to start a new job with Air Ontario in London and we wish
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Regent Holidays returns in 1987 to the Mediterranean offering 2 week cruises starting from a
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