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Times-Advocate, 1986-04-09, Page 44 , b. Poor 4 Timis -Advocate. April 9. 1906 times dvocate Published Each Wednesday Morning at Exeter, Ontario, NOM 150 Second Class Mail Registration Number 0386. "\ Phone 519-235-1331 4.4 ,n LORNE EERY Publisher BM BECKETT Advertising Manager BILL BATTEN Editor HARRY ()EYRIES Composition Manager Serving South Huron, Noah MIddIesex North Lambton Since 173 - Publhhed by l.W. Eedy Publications ROSS HAUGH Assistant Editor MUM sNAS ireiVofrt DICK JONGKIND Rosiness Manager SUBSCRIPTION RATES: Canada: $25.00 Per year, U.S.A. $65.00 C.W.N.A., O.C.N.A. CLASS 'A' Hardly worthy of debate In releasing a recent report commis- sioned by an agency under his direction and funded by taxpayers' money, Walter McLean, the minister responsible for the status of women, said he hoped that the report would spark public debate. That will probably go down as one of the great understatements, because the Feminist Review of Criminal Law is un- doubtedly one of the most ludicrous reports ever tabled in this country and presents suggestions that defy comprehension. Among the suggestions is one that improverished women should have a statutory right of necessity allowing them to steal, loot and even commit welfare fraud to feed, clothe and shelter themselves and their children. Naturally, it would be better for a person of any sex to -steal a loaf of bread than allow a child to starve to death, but the conditions which could force such alternatives are non-existent in this coun- try where government and private agen- cies are available to provide the needed sustenance for anyone facing such a predicament. To advocate the decriminalization of shoplifting for women is totally indefen- sible as is the suggestion that women who commit "true crimes" like robbery, breaking and entering, serious assault and homicide should not be imprisoned if the crimes are completely situational and the likelihood that they will be repeated is low, It's difficult to imagine that most women, particularly the thousands who own businesses and those' who pay in- creased costs as consumers to meet shoplifting losses, would concur with many of the suggestions in the report. It is even more difficult to com- prehend how such suggestions could be forwarded by a member of the legal pro- fession and it is totally impossible to understand why the Canadian taxpayers are asked to foot the bill for such nonsen- sical reports. Back to the sporan Last week's announcement that the one -dollar bank note is soon to be replac- ed by .an eleven -sided metal coin may leave the male members of the popula- tion with a very nasty problem. Most men have long since discovered that the material from which trouser pockets are fashioned isn't strong enough to withstand the wear and tear of pen- nies, nickels, dimes and quarters. If you, like ourselves, have frequently discovered your change dripping through a hole in the flimsy material of your pants' pockets, you are beginning to wonder what will happen when you start adding four or five one -dollar coins to the normal load. Sometimes you can manage a quick fix by taking off the pants and in- troducing a safety pin just above the hole. But then you find yqu have a problem with an irritated thigh, where the pins begins to wear a hole through your skin. If you can catch your wife in an idle mo- ment you may persuade her to sew on a neat patch — but then if you' have to throw in a new load of metal money you will endanger her handiwork and with all those dollars in there, the potential for loss has been multiplied. Perhaps the only answer lies in the hands of the people who make the pants. Tomorrow's tailors may be advertising "heavy duty pockets" or "dollar -proof pants". Or, again, we may be on our way back to the sporan — that handy -dandy little pouch the Scotsmen used to hang in front of their kilts. Wirigham Advance -Times Sounds good on This is the time of year when all that hope springs eternal stuff abounds, and even the most pessimistic among us, glow with anticipation as they contemplate the last vestiges of winter. Mother Nature has certainly aided the cause considerably by sending us record warm temperatures, beckoning people out of doors a few weeks earlier than usual. The tinge of green is already spreading across the landscape as homeowners take up rakes and shovels to remove the debris accumulated under winter's wrath. There are few things as magical or pleasant as pulling a pile of leaves off a bleak, wet mess of ground to uncover the gasping shoots of snowdrops or crocuses. Despite the seemingly endless task that confronts people when they survey the work at hand, it goes surprisingly fast because the results and rewards are so easily and rapidly apparent. While the muscle power re- quired for rakes, shovels and hoes may vary greatly from those required to move a painter's brush, spring yard work brings many of the benefits en- joyed by artists as the removal of debris mirrors the brush strokes that bring the landscape to life as poignantly as any scene spring- ing from a palette. Now, having put those thoughts to paper, surely the writer can be appropriately challenged to take rake in hand and tackle the miserable mess in the yard that appears to have been used as a bomb testing area over the past six months, complete with the sorry sight of the sRra v1ing mounds of dirt left 'by the backhoe that dug in a.new water line late last fall. ' It's the season of hope, perhaps, but there's never any Batt'n Around ...with The Editor hope of escaping winter's car- nage that tests the Canadian en- joyment of the changing seasons. The nature of the work changes each season, but never the amount. Yard work is an endless battle, typified at best by the spring catalogues that arrive daily showing page after page of hoes, rakes, wheelbarrows, saws, fer- tilizers, pest control chemicals, weed killers, garden hoses, prun- ing shears, and a thousand and one other required items and then devoting one single page to leisure furniture. That's a strange ratio for a sup- posedly intelligent species! . * . * • • While I can't recall ever seeing figures on the impact to the economy that yard work brings, there is little doubt that it is very sizeable, ranging through the paper aforementioned items in the catalogues to the costs in chiropractic treatments that the more zealous encounter. Over the next few weeks, Cana- dians will spend millions of dollars for the equipment, tools and supplies needed to satisfy their desire to be surrounded by plush lawns, colorful flowers, or- nate shrubs and bountiful vegetable gardens. The pride most people take in their surroundings stimulates the activity and in some cases ap- pears to virtually shame their neighbors into similar pursuits. In general, the "neat and tidy" description that is often used to describe the rural and urban pro- perties in most areas of Ontario is most apt for those who enjoy leisurely walks or drives along streets or roads in this district. Some properties stand out for particular appreciation and one assumes that the owners also share in that appreciation. However, for every showcase that sticks out from any given neighborhood, it appears there is also one at which the standards are as far below the average as the one is above. Unfortunately, as in most cases of the beauty and the beast, the latter often is more memorable and attention getting than the former. In this season of hope, neighbors of those eye -sores can once again hope that a change will be forthcoming... either in the attitude of the owner or perhaps of higher hopes, a change in the ownership. Advice not free Right from the start I want to make it clear that the advice I of- fer in this column is not free. I ex- pect to be financially rewarded for my ideas in - the form of government grants and sub- sidies, profit-sharing, bonuses and other incentives. Here is my grand scheme. I want to have the horse and boggy back. I think it is time fora great national revival 'of the horse and buggy days. Especially for those of us living in the country and in small com- munities, I can't think of a better form of recreation. Many of us have more space than we know what to do with. Let's put up a drive shed, put a horse to pasture and shop around for a serviceable buggy. And then bring our beautiful country roads and lanes back to life with the clip -clop of horses' hoofs. The automobile has had its day. It is still the most practical mode of transportation for com- muting or for buying the groceries or rushing to beat a deadline. But it is useless for en- pyment, for sightseeing, for look- ing at nature. Why do we live in the country or close to it? We must prefer open fields and pastures, hills and valleys, out of the way places and picturesque scenery to the . asphalt jungle, to busy intersec- tions and apartment blocks, traf- fic noise and pollution. Right? So why not keep the use of our car to a minimum? Is there any reason why•we couldn't drive to church in a buggy? Why couldn't we harness a horse, hitch it to a light carriage and trot over to visit our neighbors? It's just a matter of getting used to what came naturally to our ancestors not so very long ago. Who says speed is necessary? We'll get to the grave fast enough. And a leisurely trip in a surrey with a fringe of top may be just the thing we need to make us live longer. There ought to be carriage works in every Canadian town. It is high time to bring back a tradi- tion that could greatly enhance the quality of our life. We've got the raw material - good Canadiap hardwoods in abundance. WeNe The Peter Hesse{ Column ...................................... q got the labor force that could easily learn the skills required in making hand-crafted carriages of all'kinds. And we could create a Canadian industry with great export potential: Canadian bug- gies and carriages could be marketed all over the world as a new status symbol. And for the winter: cutters and other sleighs. But quite apart from the economic advantages of a boom- ing horse and ' buggy revival, think of the pleasures.that would be in store for us. Learning to drive with horses is very simple. I speak from experience. I remember my lessons, my first attempts (and a couple of failures). I even remember the names of the horses I used to know. That's another thing. Horses - like dogs - are great companions. They are faithful friends willing to serve, actually enjoying the work they do for us. Having one or two horses around can great- ly enrich our lives. True, horses need space and care. They have to be fed add - watered and groomed, and we have to provide them with shelter in rough weather. Those of 4s who feel they would like to own and drive a buggy, but that own- ing and housing a horse might be a bit drastic, could alvigkib tke a deal with. a,farmer who would be glad to 'p`rovide everything a horse needs. You could go to see him on a Saturday afternoon, park your car in his lane, hitch up a horse and go driving around the country for a couple of hours. Crazy idea? I've got news for you. It is not my original idea at all. As a matter of fact, the new craze has already started in the U.S. Driving your own horse and buggy is catching up everywhere. In Oakland, a husband and wife team of entrepeneurs has become rich: their factory produces two dozen different types of car- riages, from a cheap two -wheeler to a seven thousand dollar de- luxe four -seater. And the couple who started on a shoestring eleven years ago are now exporting carriages to Sweden and Japan. They have customers in Costa Rica, Australia and South Africa. In fact, they are two years behind in production. They could double their output right now and still not meet the demand. And that's just one example of many. So what's wrong with us in Canada? I expect to hear from .you soon: I want Canadian car- riage works everywhere from Vancouver Island to New- foundland. I want the federal Department of Regional In- dustrial Expansion to go bananas about my idea. And I want all of us to get on the band wagon, I mean on the buggy. Tolerate poor servi I think that many of our Canadian. eating places seem to feel that they are doing you a favor by letting you eat in their establishments. Our prices are high and in many cases the food is not up to standard. Recently we made a trip across the St. Clair River to Port Huron. At lunch we went into a restaurant there by the name of Denny's. This is one of a large chain which extends even down as far as Florida. Something that impresses me about many American restaurants is the high degree of friendliness which the waiters and waitresses show to their customers. Thsy try to make you feel at home right from the hot coffee which is poured thirty seconds after you get seated to the cheery smiles as they take your order. For $3.50 (American) my daughter got a soup and salad combination. The soup was thick and creamy and it had real chunks of chicken in it. (fn some restaurants you wonder if the hen just ran through the hot water). By the Way by Fletcher The salad was served in a bowl which looked like a serving dish for four peo- ple. It had two scoops of tuna an top of the lettuce. Even allowing for the difference in exchange we left wondering why our restaurants seem to need such a large profit margin on their meals. The following anecdote is exag- gerated of course but sometimes you wonder why we allow such poor ser- vice on this side of the border when we supposedly want to attract tourists. Three elderly ladies were stranded in a tough neighbourhood at tea time. so they reluctantly stopped at a greasy spoon and ordered from the grizzled waiter. "I'll have a cup of strong tea," said one, "and no lemon." "Some weak tea, and lemon," said the second. "Tea for me, too," said the third. "But make sure the cup is clean." The waiter dutifully wrote down their instnlctions and returned in ten minutes with their orders. "Okay," he grumbled, "who gets the clean cup?"