Times-Advocate, 1986-01-29, Page 8.77477-7.7
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Times -Advocate. January 29, 1986
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Takes sharing, sacrifice for friendships
On two occasions in the past month,
I've been with a gathering of acquain-
tances, many of whom I seldom see
anymore, but some of whom, in the
past, greatly helped me grow as a
human being. By knowing them, my
life was made richer as they shared
their strengths and expertise with me.
• It always intrigues me how people
move in and out of our lives. A few re-
main to become loyal and true friends
while many others play a role for on-
ly a fleeting period df time before they
move out of our lives again. A few
years ago, a woman, many years
younger than I, moved into a new
community about the same time as I
did. Since neither of us knew anyone,
we were both outsiders. One day,
when I was feeling particularly blue
because there was not one tnend 1
could even telephone without a long
distance charge, I took the risk of call.
ing her. After introducing myself, I
"I'll be right there!" she replied,
and she was, in five minutes.
The result was that we became
bosom friends. U we didn't see each
It Seems to me...
said, "I don't know if you're
as lonely as I am, but if you are,
about coming over for a cup of tea?
feelin
ho
w
„
by Gwyn Whilsmith
other daily, we taiked'on the phone,
and in the next few months we built
up a wonderful, supportive relation-
ship, sharing our feelings and ex-
periences as each of us began to slow-
ly work our way. into the new
community.
A year later, her husband announc-
ed he was moving his business 4,000
miles away. She and I were stricken
and cried copiously as we hugged
goodbye, and at first, the letters came
frequently, than twice a year, then on-
ly at Christmas, and this year there
was no message at all. However, I
know it she walked into the house, to-
day, because of the depth of our
friendship, we'd pick it up right where
we left if off, six years ago. And, even
if I never see her or hear from her
again, I shall always be grateful for
her support and understanding
through a difficult time, just as I know
she is of mine.
It was Emmerson who made the
famous pronouncement, "The only
way to have a friend is to be one," but
it's no small accomplishment to make
friends. There's effort and risk involv-
ed, and much give and take in every,
way, including the allowances that
must be made for each others' lapses.
We must a our friends as they
are, warts a all.
Also, there can be no authentic
friendship when one party coetrives
to get more out of it than the other.
While it's often the case that one helps
the other more than vice -versa, good
friends know that if ,the roles were
reversed, the less fortunate one would
be just as kind. Just recently, after I
had done what I could to help out a
friend she,said to me gratefully, "I
hope you know, Gwyn, I'd do the
same for you if the, shoe wits on the
other foot." I knowhhe would.
There's an old saying that there's
no friend like an old friend, which
mirrors the simple truth that a friend-
ship must stand the test of time to
confirm itself. Ad old friend is so-
meone who has remained loyal
through our bad times,. who has
celebrated our good times, and who
has stood stalwartly at our side no
matter how we have defamed
ourselves by our mistakes and
failures. Sometimes, it doesn't take
long for a new friend to become an old
friend, and the good news'is that we
can go on making friends all our lives:
Someone has said that friends are
the most precious gifts we will ever
possess. That being true, we must
take pains to maintain our friendships
and not take them for granted. Unlike
marriages, friendships are only held
together by an emotional bond with no
contract, no ritual, no pledge of loyal-
ty, and if we neglect our friends, the
relationship will be in peril. Most of
us know, however, that the sacrifice
it takes to keep a friendship strong
and working pays off in bountiful
ple isure. Our enjoyment in life is
greatly magnified by what we share
with ourgoodfriends.
I've read that Howard Hughes died
without a friend. Despite his enor-
mous fortune he was a poor man.
Could anything be sadder? So, it
seems to me those of us who are for-
tunate enough to have a few good
friends are the wealthy ones of this
world.
Bridal PnotograOby
The latest appreciation in wedding
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Studio of
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Exe r 233-0134
PAPERBACKS
We are . accepting USED
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Sunday 9 a.m. to 11 p.m.
444 Main St., Exeter
235-1948
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MR. AND MRS. RICK SCHELL
Liz Miners and Rick Schell were united in marriage October 11, 1985
in St. Paul's United Church, Walkerton, Ontario: Liz is the youngest
daughter of Mrs. Margaret Miners, Exeter and the late John Miners.
The groom is the only son of Lloyd and Sandra Schell, Dryden, On-
tario. The bride was given in marriage by her brother Doug and
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The best man was Gory Lowson, Toronto. Maid of honour was Lin-
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Renovation Sale
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MR. AND MRS. DAVID FINKBEINER
On December 14, 1985, Mary
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son of Mr. and Mrs. Harold Fink-
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ceremony took place at the home
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with Rev. Norman Perry of Kin-
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The couple honeymooned in
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their home in Kincardine. 5*
photo by Murray's Studio
Hearing
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Big V Drug Store
Thurs., Feb. 6
1 to 3 p.m.
Batteries, accessories, repairs 10
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HEARING: AIDS
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145 Ontario St., Stratford
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