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HomeMy WebLinkAboutTimes-Advocate, 1985-03-27, Page 13Family One in ten families has a problem with family violence. That's a conservative estimate. In a study done recently by a task force in Kent County, one in four families had a problem with either physical or psychological violence. Family violence can refer to wife battering or husband battering, or prolonged and extreme emotional abuse by either husband or wife. Pro- blems can also start in common-law relationships, or even between couples who are dating. The problem is serious. "It's a real- ly bad problem in Canada," said George Robertson, Exeter police department crime prevention officer. Wife assault is responsible for 60 pet - cent of all female murders in Canada. And it happens to women of all in- comes and education levels, in all religious and ethnic groups. It happens here. Domestic calls vary in frequency, probably rising in number during the hot, sticky sum- mer months, but Robertson says there may be two or three a week in Exeter. Corporal Dave Woodward of the Exeter OPP ( which serves Stephen, Hay and Usborne), says there were 25 domestic calls in 1984. Most of the problems that come to light deal with battered wives, not battered husbands, and hence most of the information cited here will be about abused women. But battered husbands exist; it's just that they are even less likely to speak up. In Lon- don in 198I ( the latest year for which statistics are available) there were 133 battered•wives and seven battered husbands. Many family violence problems are alcohol-related. But alcohol is not sufficientexcusefor the behaviour. It is against the law for a man to beat his wife; assault is a crime and is grounds for divorce. Children from homes where abuse is seen are more likely to grow up to be abusers or put up with being abused. Women in situations of abuse often don't know where to go or how to change their situation. They feel that there is something they can do to stop the abuse if they stay. They keep the abuse a secret out of fear and shame. Emergency shelters are now available to provide a place to stay for these women and their children, 10 give them time toexamine their op- tions, information and support. In Huron County, the Survival Through Friendship House runs 24 safe houses, and will soon be establishing a transition house in Goderich. The group is headed by JuneTaylor,and she may be contacted through the Goderich Police at 524-11333. '1'ney .bWPe. to have their owls tolk free £risis hotline soon. The location of the safe homes is secret. When the police have women and children who wish te be taken from their homes for safety reasons, they contact Survival Through Friendship. The woman is taken to a safe house located in a different area of the county so that the husband will have less chance of locating his wife. Sergeant Jerry Ifilgendorff of the Goderich Police Department has been helping the Survival Through Friendship House in their work. Ile is a member of the board of directors. and their property officer. Much of his involvement is as a lecturer. "During the lectures I explain what the police end of it is. The old adage is to go in- to the house and speak to the people. if they don't throw you out first. Un- til recently it was up to the person be- ing abused to lay the charges, but now the police lay the charges." Once police have laid charges they will not be dropped. By having the police officers lay the charges. their frustration at having charges withdrawn by a victim. perhaps under pressure from the husband. is eliminated. - Research shows that the average victim is beaten 35 times before seek- ing help. The majority of calls concer- ning family violence are phoned into the police department by the wife or occasionally by a neighbour Domestic calls can he very dangerous for police. "It's the anger that makes them dangerous," Robertson said. "Fifty percent of the time when an officer gets hurt. it's in a domestic." With emotions so high. an angry man can turn his violence against the police officer. "Forty per- cent of all officers killed in domestics get killed before they actually reach the house," Robertson added Arrest and charges aren't the only tools used by the police. Robertson pitovided a breakdown of the results from domestic calls "In 10 percent of the cases there's an arrest made. In another 25 to 30 percent, the officer leaves with a warning. in 15 to 20 per- cent of the cases we provide some sort of mediation And 20 to 25 percent of the time we provide the couple with some sort of referral probably to a social service agency that can help them." The police make an effort to follow up these cases. Robertson explained. Also. after laying a charge. there is generally some supervision by a social service agency. Just because you've heard your neighbours fighting before doesn't mean that it can't be serious. in more than 90 percent of the deaths resulting from spouse abuse. the police have previously attended calls from the family. Anyone who is hit by their spouse should consider it a danger signal Even the first healing is cause for great alarm very likely it will hap- pen again. and the attacks usually get more severe. Once a pattern is established. the violence is unlikely to stop without counselling and/or a separation. The Huron County Task Force on Open shelter for battered wives violence widespread Family Violence is establishing a men's treatment group, a self-help group for wife -beating men in Huron County. The group will meet weekly, commencing at the end of March, 1985. Members will be added to the group on an on-going basis. The group welcomes referrals from physicians, lawyers, police officers, ministers, social workers and other concerned members of the community. The Huron County Task Force is -a co-ordinating committee of socially concerned professionals and com- munity members. It is their convic- tion that a widely publicized program focussed on family violence offers an effective treatment approach to men caught up in destructive behaviour in their families and elsewhere. The pro- gram is being supported with funds from the Ministry of Community and Social Services, and will initially run for 40 weeks. Referrals may be made to Dr. Douglas Reberg or Laurie Thomson at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth in Clinton at 482-931. Reberg is in Exeter every Tuesday, at the Huron Centre office here. Reberg and Thomson have already done a pilot project counselling abusive men, using men from families in their own caseloads, all of whom had children. They feel that' men's treatment groups deserve a definitive study of their effectivenss. Participants in the group must take responsibility for change along with the group leaders. Groups make it possible for men who want to change to talk openly about their problems with violent behaviour, "perhaps for the first time," Reberg said. "We try to teach them the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness" Reberg said. Statistics of men's treatment groups effectiveness are scanty, but suggest that 55 10 60 percent of the men who finish the course of treat- ment have long-terru success controll- in Huron ing their aggressive behaviour. Dur- ing the duration of treatment 85 to 90 percent are not violent. Thomson said that one of the con- ditions of a man belonging to the treatment group is that he must allow direct contact with the woman involv- ed, so that her safety can be checked out by the program organizers. Con- tact with the woman also allows the organizers to explain to her how the program works and clear up any misunderstandings. COUNSELLORS -- Dr. Doug Reberg and Laurie Thomson will be leading the men's treatment group for wife-batterers. Both work at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth in Clinton. Reberg is in Ex- eter every Tuesday. Serving South Huron, North Middlesex March 27, 1985 & North lambton since 1873 • Pagel A County Another group aware of family violence in Huron Coutny and trying to draw attention to the issue is Women Today in Clinton. At their quarterly meeting on March 27, they will host a panel of local service pro- viders who will deal with family violence issues. On the,panel will be June Taylor, of Survival Through Friendship House; Laurie Thomson of the Huron Centre for Children and Youth; Heather Ross, a lawyer; Deb- bie Selkirk, a registered nurse from Alexandra Marine and General Hospital in Goderich; and Valerie Bolton, the Executive Director of Women Today and a Huron County Task Force member. In connection with Women Today, an Exeter woman, Marge Hutchin- son, organized a workshop for those concerned about wife -beating a little over a year ago. A film about family violence was shgwn, and the women attending the workshop at the Exeter Public School Library then had an in- formal discussion. Among those participating were a , couple of women who had been vic- tims of battering; one has since gone on to make a life for -herself without her husband. Hutchinson is a hair- dresser and became interested in helping battered women "because of the horror stories I heard in my shop. By the time they seek help, these women are real basket cases." Hut- chinson thinks the workshop allowed people to bare their souls a little. "They want to know things such as are they crazy if they still love him." Wife beating is a problem that few communities want to acknowledge happens within their borders, and this hasn't made it easier to get funding for counselling groups and transition houses. In London, the Battered Women's Advocacy Clinic, the only London organization to offer crisis counselling to battered women still in the home, is closing due to lack of fun- ding. However there are still two shelters and seven family counselling services in London. In Huron County, the Survival Through Friendship House had to fight to get funding. One of the things that eventually helped them was a seminar in Sarnia on family violence, attended by Exeter Deputy Reeve Lossy Fuller and Kevin Short, acting chief of the Exeter Police. Fuller gave a report of the con- ference at Exeter council. "It was just a super conference. There were women there from all walks of life who had been battered. One lady was a lawyer who had been married to a doctor and had put up with beatings for years before she finally left. It just floored me." After the conference Fuller was supportive of groups trying to aid bat- tered women, and "realized that we must get into the schools. They see their fathers do it, and children pick it up." Funding for Survival Through Friendship has now been approved by the Huron County council in Goderich, of which Fuller is a member. Fuller also sits on the social services com- mittee of the council. Twenty years ago nobody talked about family violence, and it's still' sometimes icult for rural women to get a sympathetic ear from their neighbours when they're victims of abuse. Public awareness is the key to "breaking the silence" and eventually stopping the violence by breaking the cycle of learned abuse. SOLOISTS — Solo performers at the successful carnival presented by the Hensoll Skating Club were Jennifer Taylor, (left), Monique Aunger, Debbie Lawrence and Lisa Faber. MAKING MORE of maple gallon r 4 Glenn Jeffery and son Alan fill another pan with sap and set it on the fire. One takes about 40 gallons of sap. FIRST STEP Jeff Millar (left) and the sap is running. ir=' check to see how SYRUP'S READY syrup. Glenn Jeffery ladles out newly boiled maple Making syrup family affair - For dairy farmer Glenn .Jeffery, KR :t Exeter. springtime and maple syrup go together like butter and cheese, pancakes and syrup, or a stand of sugar maples and peace and tranquility. Sitting among the trees holding a cup of coffee made with boiling hot sap. enveloped in clouds of sweet steam, .Jeffery listens to the woodland chorus of cawing crows. raucous blue jays. whistling blackbirds and trilling robins and breathes of content. •'What you can miss if you don't stop to listen!" .Jeffery observed. Jeffery has been stopping to listen for the last len years. Tapping about 80 trees and making enough syrup to last 12 months has become a family tradition. This year he will produce enough for himself and wife Dorothy. son Alan and wife Jay. and daughter Connie and fiance .left Millar twho marry in Sept ember before pulling the spiles from the trunks of the maple tree,. The .lelferys make maple syrup the old-fashioned way. Sap is collected in buckets and boiled in open pans over a wood -burning pit buil) by Glenn. The sap ran very reluctantly last week. but this week's sunny days and cool nights are ideal. Jeffery can gauge very -accurately when to stop boiling by rolling some of the amber liquid around in an enamel dipper. Ile goes by colour and consistency. and that most precise check. the taste test The hot syrup is ladled into covered pails and taken to the house. where Dorothy again brings it to a boil. strains it through a course strainer and then through felt. Most is stored in the freezer. hut some goes right to the table. Jeffery is his own hest customer. he eats maple syrup 265 days a year. and on February 29s too. The Optimist club of Exeter District held the draw for the VCR on March 13. The lucky winner was Lucielle Beer of Hensall If you need a speaker for your program or dub call Paul Turn- bull, 237-3637. Interesting, informative and accompanied with meaningful visuals. Publishrtt th, Pubh< f th!: oto', ! .. -- •1, South Huron and District Association for the Mentally Handicapped Box 29, Dashwood, Ont. NOM 1 NO 237-3637 Asa The all-new '86 Mazda B2000 Series trucks are here! Test drive the future today. $ 7 Phys,r,F pt re;ht `. M -W MOTORS LTD. 184 East St. Goderich 5242113 01 �-z er ei m mis',c4 ate, oclif. cge te.t.°,c'!11 !111.1.61vw� mcc csacYaheta (y���((1 Sill /Y'1 �' • SAI, v°,. SAI, ptl,5,,c`!(."), Y(� MI .0.Y{ : YI Vr Yf ♦ Pre -Easter Specials �y. 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