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HomeMy WebLinkAboutTimes-Advocate, 1985-02-20, Page 4Poge 4 Times -Advocate, February 20, 1985 Times Established 1873 Advocate Established 1881 Amalgamated 1924 • imes dvocate Published Each Wednesday Morning at Exeter, Ontario, NOM 1S0 Second Class Mail Registration Number 0386. Phone 519-235-1331 LORNE EEDS' Publisher JIM BECKETT Advertising Manager +CNA BILE BATTEN Editor HARRY DEVRIES Composition Manager ROSS HAUGH Assistant Editor DICK JONGKIND Business Manager SUBSCRIPTION RATES: Canada: $23.00 Per year; U.S.A. "$60.00 C.W.N.A., O.C.N.A. CLASS 'A' Action required Things are not looking good out on the concession roads across the nation. Agriculture Minister John Wise told the annual meeting of the Cana- dian Federation of Agriculture last week that 2,500 farmers are so deeply in debt it would take billions of dollars to keep them going. That's a sizeable figure, but the real cruncher came in his next set of statistics: there are another 39,000 farmers who are in severe to moderate financial distress. The Federation members may have been interested in the figures, but obviously they are more interested in knowing what Mr. Wise is going to do to help reverse the situation. farming community to know that the Agriculture Minister and his aides regard farm incomes and credit "as our No. 1 problem and our No. 1 concern". The No. 1 question is what Mr. Wise and his aides plan to do to resolve the No. 1 problem and the No. 1 concern. Certainly, the government can't resolve the problem without some in- put from the farming community, but the time has come to realize that everyone is well aware of the problem and the impetus must be turned to solving it. The figures suggest that time is running out. Somehow the prices paid for farm commodities must be Remove temptation A member of Glencoe council is quite correct in asking the Liquor Control Board of Ontario to halt the sales of miniature bottles of alcohol, or more particularly, to remove them from their places of prominence at the check-out counters in the liquor stores. While espousing the policy of urg- ing people not to drink and drive, the displays at the cash registers are in fact an open invitation and, probably even a suggestion, that people do just that. Many retailers use the spots near cash registers to lure customers into purchasing "impulse" items. Small packages of treats are often there in hope the customer will get a hunger pang and pick one up to indulge on the way home. Obviously, it isa practice that the LCBO stores should not follow. There are already enough drinking drivers on the road without tempting others to snap up one of the miniatures and have a couple of belts on the way home. The miniatures were designed for use on trains and planes and should be confined to those modes of transporta- tion and not motor vehicles. Confidence is shaken Our family is blessed with good health, and I gratefully acknowledge it as a blessing. I can never embark on an organ recital when someone asks"how are you`'" and I pretend the in- quirer really wants to know. I received no sympathy for blood poisoning that began in- nocently as a hangnail on a toe; a torn piece of cartilage that periodically slips its mooring under a kneecap and sails around causing trouble until pushed back in place, or a bad case of athlete's foot on my hands. Don and I consider ourselves experts at diagnosing our various ailments and treating them with simple home remedies. We believe in the liquid of the aloe vera leaf for burns, baking soda for indigestion, hot lemon juice and honey for a sore throat, and milkweed sap for poison ivy. It sometimes backfires. By the time a dermatologist had deter- mined that the blistery rash on my hands was secondary infec- tion from athlete's foot and not the case of poison ivy I had diagnosed, my hands were ready for a starring role in a Tate -night monster movie. Other cases are more easily solved by amateur medics. For example: last year husband Don and son Colin were taking down th4 stovepipe to the little wood - 0 burner installed to heat the garage on cold days. Somehow, through a lack of communication between parent and child, son dropped the sharp -ended pipe on his father's head. Don had no problem getting to the root of the problem. A quick Reynold's Rap by Yvonne Reynolds manual exploration, of a lacerated scalp. a confirming glance in a mirror of white hair suddenly turned red. and hubby had the answer. Metal illness. Diagnosing our 11 -year-old spayed part -Sheltie was even easier. She is not obese - her head is just too small for her body As this conditon is the opposite of dwarfism. wherein the head is disproportionately large, we have decided•our dog is a "frawd". Our confidence has been shaken by a recent incident. however. A few weeks ago Don broke out in a rash that covered his torso, arms and legs. We were not sure whether his trouble was shingles, chicken pox or some kind of allergy. Ile wanted relief from the terrible itch, regardless of the cause. I mentioned the matter at work, and passed along the home remedy one of my co- workers gave me. I phoned my husband and in- structed him to mix one teaspoon of cream of tartar with one glass of warm water, and drink it. He would find the cream of tartar, a white powder resembling baking soda or baking powder, on the spice shelf. That night I was greeted at the door by one very disgruntled hus- hand. "That was a terrible mix- ture I drank", he fumed. "The powder was brown, it wouldn't mix with the water, it tasted awful, and it's really hard on the kidneys." "What did you take", I asked. "Exactly what you said. Cream of tartar. I'll show you", my husband replied self- righteously as he marched over to the cupboard, rooted around and returned with a bottle. It did still say cream of tartar on the back label, but 1 had torn the front label off when I refilled an old bottle. With cinnamon. Though the rash disappeared, Don's faith in home remedies - and labels - hasbeen permanent- ly shattered. Serving South Huron, North Middlesex & North Lambton Since 1873 Published by J.W. Eedy Publications Limited "That Hatfield's a disgrace.. . ... to ush NORMAL politicians!" Reading the personals Some, people, much too refin- ed to indulge in pornographic books or blue movies, get their the "Personal" columns of the newspapers. Not me, I ain't refined. By the time I've skimmed the front page, been bored by the pompous editorials, I'm through with the paper. It is strictly for wrapping garbage in. Never do I read the classified ads, selling everything from houses and cars to bodies. I haven't time. And besides, they're all the same. Whether it's a car, a house, or a body, it's the greatest buy of the century. Many of them carry the same message: "Must be seen." Well, I strayed. Yes, I wandered. The other day, looking through the ads for teachers in the hope that I could find my daughter's address in Moosonee (she hasn't written us in over three weeks and I have a pierc- ing picture of her and the grand - boys stumbling around the tun- dra looking for the place), I stag- gered, by some mischance, onto the "Personal" column. No wonder those warpies read it, the people who leave the room, nose in air, when someone men- tions sex, or tells a funny, slight- lyoff-color joke. It's a kaleidoscope of sex, sin, silliness and sickness to warm the heart of any peeker through others' windows. I read with at first amusement, then amazement, and then a bit of shock, though I am fairly unshockable. This appeared in "Canada's National Newspaper", which maintains a lofty moral tone on most of its other pages. It was like looking under the rug in a highly moral dowager's house, while she is out getting tea, and finding a lot of dirt under it. First under suspicion are the items under "Massage." Some of them are innocuous enough, but what about this one: "No appoint- ment needed. 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. 7 days a week." With a woman's name and phone number. Maybe she's just a hard early, and doesn't like days off, but I doubt it. , Then you come to the section' headed: "Readers, Palmistry, Horoscopes." Again, some of them are legit, as legit as a for- tuneteller can be. But there are some intriguing ones: "Mrs. Selma will help you in all pro- blems of life. No problem so small that she cannot solve ( How about big one?). One visit will Sugar & Spice Dispensed by Smiley convince you." Hanky-panky? Sure sounds like it. But that is kid stuff, only mild- ly titillating, compared with the sick, arrogant, lonely, blunt, no - holds barred medicine that comes under the heading: Com- panions Wanted. This is where the real meat of the "Personal Column" is, and I imagine an in- veterate reader skips the masseuses and the fortune tellers quickly, and gets down to peering into private lives. When I was in the weekly newspaper business, there was the occasional pathetic guy who would come in to the office and place an ad: "Successful young farmer, good farm, stock, house, seeks partner interested in matrimony. Write Box 220B." It was pathetic because we knew the guy. He was 53, ugly. His farm was sixty acres, most- ly second -second -growth bush and pasture. His "stock" con- sisted of two pigs, four chickens, and three mangy cows. His "house; ; was a shack without plumbing, heated by a pot-bellied stove. He never received an answer, but would come in once the mail from Box 220B. But these city slickers are a lot more subtle and tough. I'll give you a few examples that curdled me a bit. The egos are fantastic. "Professional man, married, mid -thirties, seeks married woman for afternoon or evening meetings." How would you like to be his wife? "Gentleman, 48, business owner, lives in new apt. seeks charming, attractive lady to share his life with." No mention of marriage. "Middle-aged business man seeks younger male companion." Well. "Sophisticated gentleman, creative type, seeks the pleasure of sensuous woman 30-45. If an exciting affair with an ap- preciative male is your style, send snapshot and phone no. to ..." He could be 80. But it's not all men. "Lady, 55 R.C., wishes to meet gent up to 60." If you're sixty-one you're out, but you could be twenty-one. - "One wild and crazy guy wishes to meet one wild and crazy gal who loves dancing and camping and would like to share a serious relationship." On a dance floor? In a tent? "I am a lovely, loving female, 33, divorced and a writer, who is also tolerant, perceptive, idealistic, off -beat, romantic, cerebral and a Cancer, looking for an honest, stable relationship. I am looking for a man... (and a list of adjectives like hers). So- meone With a calm exterior, but brimming with hidden fires and worlds to explore. Under 50 and over five feet seven inches." That's what gets me. After the great build-up, the blunt facts. If you were fifty-one and five -six, you'd miss out on this fantastic woman. "Intriguing. Blonde young lady seeks wealthy man for daytime affair." That's the shortest and most honest of the bunch. She probably works nights. Too much to ask I enjoy a good game of hockey, at least when I see it played in the arena itself rather than watching it on television. There's a lot of excitement in the rush of players down the ice and the sharp bang of the puck against the plexiglass behind the goalie's net. As a game which develops condition- ing and endurance, team play and the idea of good competition it can't he beaten. One of the encouraging trends which I see happening in the sport is the movement toward less violence, less of the deliberate stick -swinging which can disable or even kill an un- suspecting opponent. Though you can still hear the demands for blood on the part of some fans many others are disgusted with the likes of Tiger Williams who By the Way by Syd Fletcher made their money from being a good fighter instead of a good player, who were judged on their ability to act as the team policemen instead of how many points they could score against the other teams. Seeing our junior and senior teams once again demand respect on the world scene in the last few years instead of being humiliated by European teams is a sign that coaching is becoming more thorough and scientific in nature and that Canadian hockey is a valuable sport to encourage youngsters to enter into as a career. Maybe some boy in the future will even want to become a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs, too, though that is perhaps a little much to ask.