Times-Advocate, 1988-09-14, Page 4, Page 4 Times -Advocate, September 14, 1988
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voca e Serving South Huron, North Middlesex
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Published by J,W. Eeds Publications tirnited
Another inefficiency
it has come to our attention that the L•d-
ucation :\linistry-an(1.the :Unemployment
insurance people haven't been practicing
good communications skills.
Every spring, members of the-
clerical
staff iii our schools are laid -off, only to be
rehired in the fall when students return to
school. During the•suintner months, they
con "legally draw unemployment insu-
rance.
At first glance, this scenes to be a sound
principle. But when you consider it our
lax money which pays their salaries dur-
ing the w inter under One ministry, and
their benefits during the summer under
ainother •tilinistrv,: it beg. ins to look like a
system devised by finger-painting mon-
keys. -
Would it not make more sense to em-
ploy clerical personnel throughout_ the
summer, allowing .them to take holidays
and work on various tasks for the corning
year?•
Even if they sat at their desks all day -
and did inventory on paper clips, it would
be better than placing them on unemploy-
ment insurance. At the very least, it.
would save a portion of taxpayers money
by eliminating the considerable -paper-
work which must be necessary to t-ransfer
them back and forth each. year. •
By - Mark Bisset
Handy Dandy letter
Why do most males hate writ- --
ing letters'' When i had sons -
..from coast to coast-- one in Nova
Scotia. one in Burlington and one
t3C - they -would always pick
up a phone rather than a pen. I
have noticed no improvement
now that the Nova Scotian has
nmved.to Mississsauga:
• As a desperate last resort, 1
Tiave"Composed-a-scl f _a(idresscd,
already stamped Lorin letter and
sent it to all three. All they have
to do is check off the appropriate
squares, fold the paper back up,-
tape
p,tape it closed'and nd mail it:
As I am a generous soul, I am-
passing
mpassing this along to all of you
_whG-face the same problem.- --
HANDY, DANDY, NO
SWEAT, NO FRET
INSTANT LETTER
Dear Mum and Dad:
am
--�J Sl'll alive.
J died last week
J wish I had died
last week
1 have not written because.
J i have forgotten Clow
J 13oth anus are in casts
J I've been traumatized by
a 1lasti-note
I am
J getting older •
J -getting better
J both the above
J neither of the above
Reynold's
Rap
by
Yvonne
Reynolds
have not contacted my family
lx:causc
J I've been too busy
J I have amnesia
J I have unilaterally declared
myself an orphan
1 J have changed my -address
J-;un�•�I_._ il_l in the same old
place-
I am now driving
J a Mercedes
J a Honda
J an Atilt tricycle
J I lost my licence
1 J now have a child
J just had triplets
.J- have adopted a miniature '-
schnauscr •
Iwould like.to know what hap
petted
J -when the bear woke up
J after the police arrived-- ---,-
• to
-to all the money'
Another loony chance
It's interesting to note that the
provincial government is expect-
ed to name an official bird for
Ontario in the very near future. -
MP Jim McGuigan is expected
to introduce a private nicnibcr's
. bill to designate the common
loon as our official bird.
Out of 5,195 entries from a
.public school contest to recom-
mend_a- provincial bird, more
than. 1,000 suggested the- loon.
The winner was 10 year-old
Matthew Conroy of Lively, On-
tario. -
We would hope that the loon.
as our provincial bird will re-
ceive better acceptance than the
"loony" put forth recently by the
Bank of Canada as a one dollar
coin to replace paper "ones".
* * * *
We were saddened with the
news of the rcccnt death of Ron
Denham of the Kirkton arca.
Ron was involved in so many
communi!y affairs in and around
Kilac-impbssib,
ble to name them all.
Over the past 20 years we ran
into him many times while cov-
ering events and were always
greeted with a• friendly' and
warm smile. •
Ron was a regular at the annu-
al.
al• meetings of the Kirkton-
Woodham Fainters Club and the
Usbomc llihbcn Mutual Fire in-
surance.Company along with alt
most all events at the K -W Com -
Fill in the appropriate squares.
Return this HANDY DANDY
LETTER to sender.
You will receive a reply within
one week.
Do not break this chain.
° Do not fold, staple, mutilate or
use for paper aeroplanes.
* * * ,,
I hope this works better for you
than it did for me. My sons kept
their HANDY DANDY LET-
TERS to pass around to their
friends: ---
Kids in cars
You've all seen these,cute
stickers on cars: Baby on oard.
They've become too common.
And they're a big joke, of course.
What's a driver following such a
car supposed w do? Pull over to
the shoulder? Beep the horn and
flash the lights? Lately, I've
spotted some more imaginative
stickers: Pitcairn on Board,
Mature Matron on Board, Middlc-
Aged Accountant on Board.
Nevertheless I often thought of
displaying a warning of sorts on
the outside of our car when we go
travelling with thc kids. Kids in
cars can be as dangerous as booze.
Kids in the back . seat can drive
drivers to distraction, if not to
insanity.
The greatest danger exists not
on the way out. but coming
home. When the kids arc tired,
unreasonable, rambunctuous and
rebellious. if you have or had kids
between 7 and 9, you'll know
what I mean. We've got three in
that category. Little savages.
The driver has several choices
when the kids act up in the car.
When I drive, I sometimes pull
over, turn off the engine. and just
sit. After a while, soinebody will
ask: "What's the matter? Why
aren't we going anywhere?" And 1
say: "I'll be glad to continue if the
racket stops." "What racket?" "We
were just laughing, Dad". And
Elizabeth says: "They were just
making happy noises". At which
point i gladly turn the wheel over
to her.
I may yell at•them: "Be quiet,
or I11 scream!" But no opt ever
sees any logic in that. Turning
the radio on full -blast never works
'• too well, either, because the kids
can drown out a Wagnerian
soprano from the Metropolitan
Opera. Cross -Country Checkup
on the question of homosexuals
in the pulpit had a miraculous
effect. The little ones wcrc totally
PETER'S
POINT
•
by Peter Hessel
silent for about a mile and a half.
But Elizabeth didn't think the kids
were quite ready for some of the
explicit details under discussion. I
switched to an evangelical
broadcast on a private station, but
within 300 meters the racket
started, up again.
Sometimes I stop near an open
field or pasture and order the kids
out of the car. I tell them: "Run
as fast as you can to the far side
of the field and back. The winner
gets a dime. And watch out for
cow pies." They run like the
dickens. I pay the dime. "Now do
it again". I hand out another dime.
"Again", but I have to pay a
quarter because I'm out of dimes.
When I'm out of quarters, we
continue, and you'd think that.the
children would be exhausted'from
all that running. They arc, and we
may hear nothing but panting for
a couple of miles. And so we
progress slowly, but in relative
safety.
Once we planned "to gq to the
circus. The kids had looked
forward to it for days. We were on
our way. Elizabeth was'driving.
The kids started to misbehave.
Alexander who sat in the middle
was getting it from both sides.
Naturally, he defended himself.
The little oncs put on a big act.
"They're trying to get me into
trouble," Alexander complained.
Elizabeth didn't say anything. She
turned the, car around and drove
home. No circus. There was a lot
of wailing and gnashing of teeth,
but they learned a lesson that
lasted for at least a week. Once
Elizabeth stopped the car on the
side of the road, got out and
walked away in the opposite
direction. I lectured the kids for
two minutes, then turned around
to catch up with Elizabeth. She
was nowhere to be sten. I spent
two hours trying to get our wife
and mother back. Shc had walked
_ to a farm, called a cab and gone
home. The kids were very quiet
for a while.
None of us have ever had an
accident caused by wild children in
the back seat. That's because we
take drastic and imaginative
measures. But I'm afraid that
some day I'll lose my coot and
drive into a ditch out of sheer
frustration. Or that Elizabeth will
get lost in a forest.
I think I'll have sound -proof,
bullet-proof glass installed
between the front and back seats,
in the fashion of New York taxi
cabs. I also wonder what a horse
trailer would cost? Or does
anybody have better ideas?
munity Centre.
Ile was an important cog in the
Farmers Club having .assisted -
secretary treasurer. Rca Stephens
and his successor Ron Grant for
many years. Ile helped to supply
the needs of farmers for. their
fral From the
;editor's disk -
has been in existence, Freeman
has seen a couple of Ontario
championships. At a retirement
reception Friday night he re-
ceived a "No. 60" retirement
sweater from fellow officials Bob
- Taylor and Clam Stanley.
Freeman's total retirement was
brief.- He started another job as a
school bus driver last Tuesday
morning.
May your retirement days be
happy ones, Jim.
by Lucan Hydro is fortunate to get
Ross Haugh a very capable replacement for
Jim Frccman. Randy Kraut, a
seeds, . fertilizers, chemicals,
fencing, etc. -
His interests were spread fur-
ther than the immediate Kirkton
arca. Ron served 17 years on
Blanshard township council in-
cluding seven years as reeve. Ile
was also Warden of Perth Coun-
ty in 1986.
* * * *
On a little more cheery note, we
wi's rrcl-Tpass=.on--c;ongratulations
to Jim Frccman who recently re-
tired as foreman of Lucan-Ilydro
after 22 ycrs of service.
Jim, affectionately known as
"Teddy Bear" has given "his all"
to the village of Lucan: In addi-
tion to his dedication to thc.utility
.needs of residents, he was one of
thc founders of the Lucan Irish
junior hockey team.
During the 18 years, the club
Lucan native who was with the
Exeter PUC for a number of
years has taken over to follow in
thc•footstcps of "Mr. Hydro".
We know Randy will do an ex-
cellent job and like his predeces-
sor will contribute much to the
community in addition to his reg-
ular job. While in Exeter Randy
was a Big Brother and participat-
ed in hockey and baseball.
While surportei-s STT the -Ed: -
monton Oilers were shocked with
the trade of Wayne Grctzky to
Los Angeles, not many took .
drastic steps to voice their oppo-
sition. " • .
it was revealed this week that
only 72 Oiler season tickets have
been cancelled. That shouldn't
send owner Peter Pocklington to
the welfare lines.
Letters to the Editor
Dear Sir.
I'm sure many people interested
in the political process that runs
our great country have noticed the
recent appearances on T.V.'s "Ques-
tion Period" of our doughty M.P.
Murray Cardiff.
As Associate Minister of Justice
he has been cJllcd upon to represent
his department, and the government
when pertinent questions wcrc
posed. Ile answered them well, an as
nicely modulated tncxtulated voice and with ap-
propriate dignity. Mr. Cardiff has
matured well in his parliamentary
tenure.
A dreary contrast was the antics
of Sheila Copps, as she capered
like a monkey on a string, behind
the strident -voiced, nervous leader
of her party!
It is • reassuring" to know that a
fine, experienced man represents
our important constituency, a man
who supports Canada's future in the
over -due "Free Grade" agreement.
Free made is the voice of the future,
not the overly prate a unalist past.
The Canadian consumer will benefit
and our country will prosper. Just
consider how well Luropc has done
with the E:E.C. Such a success can
be ours.
The N.D.P. and'Lihcral members
A%huh. lot an election on this issue.
Why do we elect manners? To carry
out the wishes of the majority of
the people, of course. They arc qual-
ified to decide; just consider what it
would mean (and cost ).if every con-
troVcrsial idea had to he referred to a
referendum! - Chaos.
It sccrossad that the Liberals now
want the Senate to hold up this lcg-
islatror --11 is peopled, iri general,
by ancient moss hacks, appointed
. by Trudcau, who was repudiated by -
the electorate. 1f they do it,' they
~sell ha,ti.'n "their own death knell!
Gibby
1.N1. Gibson
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