The Wingham Times, 1914-10-01, Page 7October ist, "1914
tal
s'ESTMWM0200„11Mg2r„WEN'
16he RETURN
1 of TAR ZAISi
mi
0
a.,
By Edgar Rice Burroughs
MEM
"He left me after the fever got bad.
aHe b a devil. When I begged for the
4 water that I was too weak to get he
.drank before me, threw the rest out
. and laughed in ray ace." At the
thought of it the man was suddenly
animated by a spark of vitality. He
-.raged himself upon one elbow. "'es,"
,he almost shouted; "I will live! I will
!live long enough to find and kill that
!beast!" But the brief effort left him
Weaker than before, and he Sank back
jagain upon the rotting grasses that,
with his old ulster, had been the bed
c of Jane Porter.
"Don't worry about Thuran," said
Varzan of the Apes, laying a reassur-
1
Sam hand me Clayton's forehead. "He
ibelongs to me, and I shall get him -in
'the end, never fear."
For a long time Clayton lay very
Several times Tarzan had to put
:his ear quite close to the sunken chest
Ito catch the faint beating of the worn -
bout heart. Toward evening he aroused
-again for a brief moment.
1 "Jane," he whispered. The girl bent
Iter bead closer to catch the faint mes-
sage. "I have svrouged you-aud him,"
he nodded weakly toward the ape -man.
1"1 loved you so. It is a poor excuse to
;offer for injuring you, hut I could not
bear to think of giving you up. 1 do
:riot ask your forgivenesa. I only wish
.to do now the thing I should have done
,Lmaaover a year ago," Ile fumbled in the
-IV-Pocket of the ulster beneath hen for
,sowething that he had diseovered there
,while he lay between the paroxysine
-or fever. Presently he found it -a
.crumbled bit of yellow paper. Ile
!,11ntided it to the girl, and as she took
lJt bis arm fell limply across ht a chest,
his head dropped baek, and with a lit -
;tie gasp he stiffened and was still
• Then Tnrzeit of the Apes drew a fold
aof the ulster across the upturned face.
As they rose and stood ou either side
of the now peaceful form tears came
lccto
the ape -man's eyes, for through tbe
anguish that his own heart bad suf-
fered he bad learned compassion for
•:the suffering of others.
Through her tears the girl read the
:message upon the bit of faded yellow
;lpaper, and as she read her eyes went
every wide. Twice she read those star-
-Bing Words before she could fully eom-
:prebend their meaning.
I. C. Tarzan, 13altimore, me.:
Finger prints provearou Greystoke. Con-
gratulations. D'ARNOT.
She banded the paper to Tarzan
l''And he has known it all this time,"
'idle said, "and did not tell you?"
"I knew It first, .Tane." replied Tar
.nan. "I did not know that he knew
it at all. I must have dropped Oki
message that night in the waiting
room, It was there that I received it."
"And afterward yciu told us that
your mother was a she -ape and that
Feu had never known your father?"
she asked incredulously.
"The title and the estates meant
daothing to me without you, dear," he
replied. "And if 1 had taken them
away from him I should have been
-robbing the woman I love -don't you
-.understand, Jane?" It was as though
he attempted to excuse a fault
She extended her arras toward him
across the body of the dead man and
took his hands in hers.
"And I would have thrown away a
love like that!" she said.
The next morriing they set out wen
,the short journey to Tarzan's. cabin.
Pour Wazirl bore the body of the dead
Englishman. It had been the ape-
'•=an's suggestion that Clayton be bur.
;led beside the fortney Loyd Greystoke
Had Pain Around Her
Heart for Three Years
Was Not Safe to Leave Her Alone
Day after day .one reads or hears of
many sudden deaths through heart
jo.. failure, and many people are kept in a
state of morbid fear of death, become
weak, worn and miserable, and are tin -
able to attend to either their social or
business duties, through this unnatural
action of the heart,
To all suelt safferets Milbertt's Heert
• and Nerve Pills will give prompt and
permanent relief.
Mrs. Norman H. Rsan, Ship Harbor,
• N.S., writes: -"Por duce years I have
been troubled with a pain around my
• heatt. I took medicine front my doctor
until 1 found it was of no use, its it only
t> seemed to help me while I was taking it.
'1 got so bad at last that it was not
safe for me to be left alone, so having
heard of IVIilburn's Heatt and Nerve
Pills, I took five boxes of them, and I
can they helped Ine so much thet
feel like inystif agate."
Milburn's Heart aed Nerve Pine are
PSO cents per box, or 3 boxes for 51.28.
For sale at all druggist ond general
stores, or will be mailed direet on reeeipt
of time by The T. Milburn Co., Limited,
Toronto, Ont.
rg82/&S''
13,ssasrl
Pi
oear the edge of the jungle against the
cabin that the older man bad built.
Jane Porter was glad that it was to
be so, and in her heart of hearts she
wondered at the marvelous fineness of
Character of this wondrous man, who,
though raised by brutes and among
brutes, had the true chivalry and ten-
derness which one only associates with
the refinements of the highest civiliza-
tion.
They had proceeded some three miles
of the five that had separated them
from Tarzan's own beach wit= the
Waziri who were ahead stopped a11(1 -
dully, pointing in amazement at it
strange figure approaching them along
the beach. It was a man with a shiny
silk hat who walked slowly with bent
head and hands clasped behind him
underneath the tails of his long black
coat,
At sight of him Jane Porter uttered
a little cry of surprise and jay and ran
quickly ahead to meet him. At the
sound of her voice the old man looked
up, and when be saw who it was con•
fronting him he, too, cried out In relief
and happiness. As Professor Arai-
Inedes Q. Parter folded his daughter in
his arms tears .streatned down his
seained old face, and it was several
minutes before he could control him-
self sufficiently to speak.
When a moment later be recognized
Taman it was with difficulty that they
could convince lem tbat his sorrow
had not unbalanced his min'd, for with
the other members of the party he had
been so thoroughly convinced that the
ape -man was dead it was a problem
to reconcile the conviction with the
very lifelike appearance of Jane's "for-
est god." The old man was deeply
touched at the news of Clayton's
death.
"I cannot understand it," he said.
"Af. Thuran assured us that Clayton
passed away many days ago."
"Thuran is with you?" asked Tar- `
MO.
,"Yea. He but recently found us and
led es to your cabin. We were caroped
but a short distance north of it. Bless
me, but be will be delighted to see you
both."
"And surprised," coromented Tar-
zan.
A short time later the strange party
came to the clearing in which stood
the ape -man's cabin. It was filled with
people coming and going, and almost
the first avhom Taman saw was
not.
"Paull" he cried. "In the name of
sanity, what are you doing here? Or
Ire we all insane?"
It was quickly explained, bowever,
as were many other seemingly strange
things. D'Arnot's ship bad been cruis-
ing along the coast on patrol duty
when, at the lieutenant's suggestion,
they had anchored off the little land-
locked harbor to have another look at
the cabin end the jungle in which
many of the officers and men had ta-
ken part in excitiug adventures two
years before. On landing they had
found Lord Tennington's party, and
arrangements were being made to take
them all on board the following morn-
ing and carry them back to civiliza-
tion.
Hazel Strong and her mother, Es-
meralda, and Samuel T. Philander
were almost overcome by happiness at
Jane Porter's safe return. Her escape
'seemed to them little short of miracu.
Ions, and it was the consensus of opin-
ion that it could have been achieved
by no other man than Taman of the
Apes. They loaded the uncomfortable
ape -man with eulogies and attentions
yetil he wished himself back in the
absphitheater of the apes.
All were Interested in the savage
Waziri, and many were the gifts the
black men received from these friends
of their king, but when they learned
that he might sail away from theta
upon the great canoe that lay at an-
chor a mile off shore they bectune very
sad.
As y et the newcomers had seen
nothing of Lord Tennington and M.
Thnran. They had gote °lit for fresh
meat early in the day end had not yet
returned.
' "How surprised this man, lichee°
name you say is Itokoff, will be to see
Yen," +Mid Jane Porter to Tarzan.
"His surprise will be short lived,"
replied the ape -man grimly, and theta
Was that In his tone that made her
look up into his face In alarm. What
She reed there evidently eentirmed her
fears, for she put her hand 'mon his
erns end pleaded With Itlin to lertve the
Messiest to the laws of Preface.
"ln the heart of the jaugle, dear,"
she said, "with no other form of right
Of' jristlee to twee! to other then your
Own mighty muselee, you would he
werronted In executing upon this man
the sentence lie deeerves, but with the
strong arm of a eivilized governmeht
at your disposel It wonld be Murder
to kill lihn noW, Eteri your (Kende
would have to stibinit to your arreet,
or If you resisted it you would plunge
THE WINGH AM TIMES
us all lute misery aud unhappiness
:Igloo. 1 (came bear to lose you egtlia,
my Ta17,:1c, Promise me that PM
will but turn hen over to Captitiu Du -
frame: gild let the law take its. course.
The beast is not worth risklug our
heppluess for."
Ile saw the wisdom of her appeal
and promised. A half hour later Ito-
Izote and Tenningtou eznerg,ed from the
jungle. They were walking side by
side. Tenningtoo wee the first to oote
the presence. of 51/11ngers In the entree
le saw Ihe Meek warriors pa In vering
with tlie Failure from the tentser, and
thee he $l I 1v 11 lithe, hrown giant talk -
:11g W1111 1.1 et' tena lit kV APOOt a lel Ga
taiu Dufranne,
"Who is that, I wouder.- SO Id Ten -
'engem to. Rokorf, and as the Russian
;schwa les eyes tied met those of tbe
(110 11150 rti11 011011 111111 Ite staggered
n rul went white.
"Sapristl!" he cried, and before Ten -
elegem realized what he intended be
laul thrown his gun to his shoulden
nbeing polItt bltt tt k flt Tarzau,
ptillea the trigger. But the English-
man ‘vas cloSe to him -so close that
Ids hand reached the leveled earrel a
The Entire Party Assembled Within
the Little Cabin.
fraction of a second before the hammer
fell upon the cartridgeand the bullet
that was intended for Tarzan's heart
whirred harmlessly above his head.
Before the Rusalan euuld fire again
the ape-natu was upon him and had
wrested the firearm from his grasp.
Captain Dufranne, Lieutenant D'Arnot
and a dozen sailors had rushed up at
the sound of the shot, and now Taman
turned the Russian over to them with-
out a word. fie had explained the
matter to the Freneh commander be-
fore Rokoff arrived, and the officer
gave inimediate orders to place the
Russian in irons and confine him on
board the cruiser.
Just before the guard escOrted the
prisoner Mt° the small boat that was
to transport him to his temporary pris-
on Tarzan asked permission to seareb
him and to his delight forind tbe stolen
papers Concealed upon his person.
The shot had brought Jane Porter
and the others from the cabin. and a
moment after the eecitement had died
down she greeted the surprised Lord
Tennington. Tarzan joined them after
he had taken the papers from lecizoff,
and as he approached Jane l'Orter Itt
traduced him to Ten ill tigt on.
"John Clayton. Lore lireystolte, iit
lord," she said.
The Englishman looked his ammo-kil-
n:tent Ib .spite or his most heretoe90
efforts to appear eotirtemis, and it re.
quired many repeiitioes or the stet:tee
story of the ripeolutif :la told hy ti m
self, Jane Porter and lieutenant lam,
not to convinee Lord Tf Haim:ton that
they were not all quite mad.
At sunset they belied N1'111111111 reell
Clayton beside the jungle graves of his
uncle and his aunt. the former Lord
and Lady Greystoke. And It was at
Tarzan's request that three volleys
were fired over the last resting place
of "a brave man. who met his death
bravely." '
Professor Porter. who in his younger
days had. been ordained a minister,
conducted the simple services for the
dead. About tbe grave, with bowed
heads, stood as strange a &mammy et
mournere as the sun ever looked down
upon. There wbre Prencleofficers and
sailors, two English lords. American
end a score of savage African braves.
Following the funeral Tatum asked
Captain Dufranhe to delay the sailing
of the cruiser a couple of days while
he went inland a few miles to fetch
his "belongluge," and the °fiber gladly
granted the favor.
Late the next atteenoort Tarzan and
his Waziri returned with the first load
of "belongings," end when the party
saw the andent Ingots of virgie gold
they Wanted bpen the ape -man with
n thoesand questions, but he was smil-
ingly obdurate to their appeals --he de-
clined to give thetn the slightest Clear
as to the source of his iminenee trelle-
tire, "There are a thousand that I left
behind," he explained, "for eery One
that 1 brought away, end when these
tire spent 1 tatty wish to return ter
worm"
The next day to returned to ealnp
with the balance of his 'ingots and
When they were stered on board the
trigger Captain Defranne Aid be felt
like the eottunartder of an bid tittle
Speelsir galleon returning from the
treasure cities of the Aztec% "X don't
knelt What minute My trine Will ellt
my throat and take over the shipt" lid
Added. •
ININENIMMENNINPIPMEMIP
TRUTH TELLS
And the TRUTH Is Told—
In Our Advertisements
• By. HOLLAND.
MERCHANTS have learn-
ed that the Truth Tells
when the Truth is Told.
Hence they are scrupulous
that their advertisements are
accurate, Back of every ad-
vertisement, back of every
statement made to llama
custom, is the reputation of
the merchant, his hope of
continued success.
Deception may be profitable
for a time, but deception can-
not be permanent, and the.
profit based on deception is
necessarily brief. Truth is
the more effective as It is of
longer duration. Falsehood
loses its effectiveness as soon
as it is discovered.
The merchants who adver-
tise in this paper are honor-
able men, and this would ,
raake them truthful. But
above all they are good busi-
ness men, and they know that
TO BEI SUCCESSFUL
THEY!IUSTBEI
TRUTHFUL.
Read the advertisements
and profit by them. You can
rely absolutely on the state-
ments made in the advertis-
ing columns,
The neet morning, as they were pre-
paring to embark upon the cruiser,
Tarzan ventured a suggestion to ,Jane
Porter.
"Wild beasts are supposed to be de-
void of sentiment," he said, "but, nev-
ertheless; I should like to be married
In the cabin where I was born, beside
the graves of my mother and my fa-
ther and °surrounded by the savage
jungle that always has been my
home."
"Would It be quite regular, dear?"
she asked. "For if it week' I know of
no other place In which 1 should rath-
er he marrie(l to zny forest god than
beneath the shade of his primeval for-
est."
And when they spoke of It to the
others they Were assured that it would
be quite regular, and a most splendid
termination of a remarkable romance.
So the entire party assembled within
the little cabin and about the door to
witness the second ceremony that Pro-
fessor Porter was to solemnize within
three days.
D'Arnot was to be best man and
Hazel Strong bridesmaid until Ten-
nington upset all the arrangements by
another of his marvelous "Ideas."
"If Miss Strong is agreeable," he
said, taking the bridesmaid's hand in
his, "Hazer and I think it would be
ripping to make it a double wedding,"
The next day they sailed, and as the
cruiser steamed slowly out to sea a tall
man, immaculate in white flannel and
a graceful girl leaned against her rail
to watch the receding shore line upon
which danced twenty naked, blaek
warriors of the Waziri, waving their
war spears above their savage heads
and shouting farewells to their de-
parting king.
."I should hate to think that I am
looking upon the jungle for the last
time, dear," be said, "were it not that
I know that I am going to a new world
of happiness with you forever," and,
bending down, Tarzan of the Apes
kissed his mate upon her lies.
Ton END.
Had a Bad Attack of
Diarrhoea and
Vomiting
Had the Doctor Eleven Times
CUT mt. FOWLER'S EXTRACT OF WILD
STRAWBERRY FINALLY MIRED
Mrs.. Wesley Pringle, Roblin, Ont.,
writes: -"It is with great pleasure that
f ean recommend Dr. Fowler's D.xtract
of Wild Strawberry. When our little
aoy was three years old, he had the
vorst attack of diarrhoea and vomiting
ever saw. We called in our doctor, and
he cattle eleven times front Tuesday
morning until Saturday night, but still
ao change. We expected each moment
to be the last of his suffering, as the
doctor aaid he could do nothing more.
Mr. Pringle was going up town on Satur-
day night, and was advised to try your
great and wonderful medicine. He got
a bottle told about 9 o'clock the first
dose wee given, and was kept up, as
directed, and when the doctor eame nit
Sunday, he said, 'What a wonderful
chauge; whyt your little boy is going
to get betaer.' Then I told him what
we had becn givirig him, and he said.
'Keep right on, he is doing well."1
often think as I look at my boy, growing
to be a man, what great thanks 1 owe
to X)r. 'Fowler's Extract of 'Wild Straw-
berry."
"Dr. Fowler's" has been on the market
for close CD to seventy years, and has
been knowa from cna end of Canada
to the other as a attain cure for all
bowel cOinplainta.
Whca au ask for "Dr. Paavier's" be
sure you get it, OS any substitute is liable
to ba dangermis to yaur health.
The genuina preeatatioa is tnanufae-
turad by 'rite T. Milburn Co., Litnitee,
Toronto, Oat.
Price. 35 cents.
Pa4"'
MUSICAL HEADS AND FACES.
They Have a Shape All Their Own'
Saye a German Scientist.
That all inusteitins Inc "freaks," so
far ns their physical appearance goes,
Is tlie opinion or De, Paul Solin, the
German scientist. Not only this, but bei,
finds that, regardless of their race or
nationality, all persons ef marked mu-
sical (ability show a close resemblance
to one another In the shape of their
heads and faces. The head and eoun-
tenence of the typical musician often
look very much like those of the lion or
the sphinx.
The peculiar shape of a musteian's
head is due, Dr. Sohn believes, to the
gradual expansion of the sound center
of his brain and the consequent change
in the conformation of his skull, This
is why the beads of Wagner, Beeth'
von, Robert Schumann, Richard Strauss
and other great musicians all have an
eccentric, abnormal and soroetimes fan-
tastic appearance. A musician's sound
center develops abnormally because it
Is there that everything in Ins life !Inds
its motive.
The musical head and face are of a
primitive type, because rausical genius
is a reversion to the time when men
communicated their ideas by means of
more or less inarticulate sounds. But,
.although the musician's physical ap-
pearance Is barbarous In its hick of
beauty mad regularity, * contains no
hint of degeneracy.
The typical musical head is charac-
terized by the horizontal breadth of
the forehead, the broad nose and chin
and the wide, extremely mobile mouth.
The brow often overhangs greatly, as
was so notably the case with Beetho-
yen. The eyes are histrous, but bear a
separated, dreamy expression. The
bands are broad and strong.
"Musicians," says Dr. Sohn, "are ab-
solute slaves to their sense of sound,
and it is this that not only affects their
physical appearance, but makes them
mentally so nervous and excitable. The
main feature of the musical intellect is
that mental excitetnent seeks a differ-
ent outlet from that in the case of ordi-
nary men."
MARK TWAIN AS A LINGUIST.
His Grim Vow After He Firmly Decid-
ed to Learn French.
When Mark Twain was a young re-
porter, working on the San Francisco
Call, he made up his mind to learn the
French language. He did not want to
go to the expense of a teacher, and so
he bought a grammar and conversation
book and set to work. Before breakfast
he pored over the lessons; late in the
evening he was at it again, and every,
available moment of the day he em-
ployed with equal assiduity.
He soon began to look about for op-
portunities to make use of his new ac-
complishment Accordingly he began to
eat at a French restaurant once a week.
One day as he and his roommate
were coming out of the restaurant they
found on the sidewalk just outside the
door a Frenchman. Ile was asking
first one passerby and then another the
way to a certain street, but no one un-
derstood him. That was Mark's
chance. The Frenchman looked at
him with wistful eyes and began to
talk. Mark listened attentively. Three
or four times the stranger was CORP
pelled to repeat his question, then
Mark seemed to catch bis drift. But
be had scarcely spoken half a dozen
words in reply, when the Frenchman
fell to the sidewalk in a dead faint.
The true cause of the stranger's
fainting may never be known. Very
likely be was famished, and perhaps
he bad been put out of this very res.
taurant because of his seedy appear-
ance, But, whatever the eause, the
joke was on Mark for once. Mark's
roommate was careful enough of hie
friendship not to tell the incident at
the offlee of the Morning Call, but he
teased the rising humorist a good deal
about it. When the fun had lasted
long enough Mark set his jaw, and
with unlimited determination written
on his features announeed, "I'll learn
French if it kills every Frenchman in
the country!"
Why 8 Lake Is Like a Person.
A lake resembles a living being In
many ways. It has a pulse. Its sur-
face rises and falls rhythmically. It
has a circulation. Its water not only
ebbs and flows, but there are underenr.
rents by which the life giving oxygen
Is carried to organisms which dwell In
its depths. It does muscular work.
The shores are eroded, and wharves
are moved by the ice pressure. It di-
gests food, and some lakes, sad to any,
sometimes have indigestion. And so
we Might continue the comparison and
tell of its smiles and frowns end the
muse of Its waves Open the shore. -
Atlantic Monthly.
Blended.
Sir Arthur Contze Doyle, the creator
of Sherlock Holmes, once said that be
wrote his first book at the age of six.
It aPpears to have been a story of
adventure of the most exciting kind.
"There wits a man in It and St tiger."
Sir Arthur said. "I forget whleh of
the two Was the hero of the story, but
it didn't matter which because about
the tithe the tiger met the man thee'
became blended into one!"
All Hanging On.
Pittient&--And you gay there Were It
lot of women hanging onto the etrams
in the car? Pattieealles, and a lot of
Men hanging onto the seats. --Yonkers
StatesMti n.
Not (Moine Time.
Cuetortier--I Watt Ma snit by the
Can I hate It on time? Tallork,4
NO, sir; 'we do nstrietly cash bUalneet
...110ston Tratinerilit.
Wipe out es Nieto trait the fiAtite
agit lite In ildribui noW.--Town% ,
micom• mommommmemaimint
Children Cry for Fletcher's
cea
Wile Kind You Eve Always Bonixt, and which has been.
use for over 30 yeas, has borne tile signature of
awl has been made 'under his perm+
zz7Y.- sonal supervision. since its infancy.
W4' Allow no one to deceive you in this.
All Counterfeits, Imitations and orust-as-good P, are but
Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health 0
Infants and Children -Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTORIA
Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare-.
goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is pleasant. If
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverishness. For more than thirty years ig
has been in constant use for the relief of Constipation,
Flatulency, Wind Colic, all Teething Troubles and
Diarrhcea. It regulates the Romach and Bowels,
assimilates the Food, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's Panacea -Tho Mother's Friend.
GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS'
Bears the Signature of
hi Use For Over 30 Years
- The Kind You Have Always Bought
THE CltNTAUR COMPANY, NEW YORK CITY.
aft -
VANQUISHED YET VICTORIOUS.
Having the Last Werd, Though at the
Cost of Personal Disparagement.
There is a lawyer tilth an office in
one of the largest buildings downtown
who is famous as a man who never
loses his temper or allows his werds to
grow intemperate. The other day
when he was very busy a book can.
vasser entered his private °face.
"1 should like to show you a very
valuable work," she began.
"Madan)," said the attorney, rising
from his chair, -you must excuse me.
I am very sorry, bot I am eugaged."
The agent had heard the same thing
before probably, for she kept on get-
ting closer. Tbough the lawyer re-
peated his plea of an engagement, she
came nearer and nearer and talked
and talked.
"Madam," he cried desperately. "I
am busy, and if you don't go at once
you will force me to be what I have
never been before -guilty of rudeness
to a woraan!"
That did the business. Lite a true
woman, she bad the last word, even
though she knew she was lieked. As
she retreated toward the door she
cried:
"I'll have you know I ain't a wom-
an; I'm a lady!" - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Abe Got the Worst of It.
When Lincoln was a young lawyer
In Illinois he and a certalu judge once
got to bantering one another about
trading horses, and it was agreed that
the next morning at 9 o'clock they
ahould make a trade, the horses to be
unseen up to that hour and no back-
ing out under a forfeiture of $25. At
the hour appointed the judge came up,
leading the • sorriest looking spechnen
of horse ever seen in those parts. In
o few minutes Mr. Lincoln was seen
approaching with a wooden sawhorse
on his shonlders.
Great were the shouts and laughter
of the crowd, and both were greatly
increased when Lincoln, on surveying
the judge's animal, set down his saw-
horse and exclaimed:
"Well, judge, this ie the first time I
ever got the worst of it in a horse
trade."
Reparation.
;fudge (to prisoner nt tbe bar) -So
you confess that you robbed the sate.
Ings bank. tfave you anything to
urge in the way of extenuating dr-
emnstitnees? The Prisoner -I have,
y' honor. I deposited all the money
In the savings bank the very next day.
-New York Post,
Didn't Want to Lose Her.
"Why are you going around in that
horrible coat?"
"My wife needs a new gown."
"You sifouldn't spend all your money
on her."
"Well. If she doesn't get that new
gown I'm afraid she'll get a new ims-
band."-
What to Take For it.
tantart-1 know just what to take for
sensieltIleSe NVaggles (eagerly) -
you? What Is it? Stnerts-An ocean
steamer. •
4 ---
Her Dear Frfsed.
Mittul-.111eit told Me last night
mate beautiful. yet
tsty Jaelt Mot no Itnagitiatiota-laa,ta
Tie (meant
lion't dissipate yottr power...;
onnmtnntly 10 eotteentrate thee. -
Goethe.
A Cross Bull.
The late Lord Cross never added
greatly to the humor of the nation. On
one occasion, however, while he was
still in the house of commons he tried
to be sarcastic during a speech.
"I think," he said, fixing a certain
minister with a ferocious eye, "I think
I hear the right honorable gentleman
smile."
After that remark. If It were 'any;
satisfaction to him. he heard the whole
house laugh.-Londor Globe.
By Other Ways.
"1 am sorry to see you going wItti
that disreputabie young fellow. mY',
son, even if he has plenty of money,
and ewe everywhere."
"Btit, father, didn't you tell me ts0
cultivate society?"
"I did, my lad, but not with a rake."b'
, -Baltimore American.
•
Unexpected Criticism.
A school inspector, examining a etas$
ID grammar, wrote a sentence on the
blackboard and asked if any one no,
ticed anything peculiar in it.
After a short silence a small boy res
plied, "Yes, sir; the bad writing."-•
London Telegraph.
Extravagance.
"Quick, quick; a doctor! I have jaist
swallowed a penny!"
"What! Spend 84 to save a penny?
That's the way with you vtomeul"..1
Parts Pete Male.
The Surest Road.
"It takes a long strong climb to retleh
success."
"Yes, and the only waY to reach it ik
by keeping on the level."-flobston
Post
An Idealist. •
Tommy -Pop, what is tin idealist?
Tommy's Pop -An idenlist, my MI, is
a very young man who thinks all wo-
men are angels. --Philadelphia Rceord.
The Army of
Constipation
Idi Growing Smaller Every Day.
CAFtTER'S LITTLE
LIVER PILLS ate
responsible -they not
only give relief -
they permanently
etre Constipet.
lion., Mile
lions use
ibr
11:floaa.
nes*, Indigestion, Sich Headache, Sallow Shin.
Small Pill, Small Dose, Small Pricdp.
Genuine mutt bear Signature
seec,"
frAFIRAPIPITIOVIPPOrIM.VIMO.