HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Times, 1914-08-20, Page 6THE WINGIIAM TIMES, AUGUST 20, 1911
•ftoommemeftruclooreN-,...".
Skin Trouble
on the Scalp
Skin Dried and C'enleal end Hair Pell
Out --Cured by Dr, Chase's Oint-
ment.
Eczema le aneeeem; elletreeeinr;
at any Vino, bet deems- )5., when 11:
gets into the son7;,ndt•a11,;,:.: the hair
to fall out. Hee) is a grateful letter
from a. lady ., sem cured ny ming
ler. (Melees One et.
Mrs. Hector caerie, Tohormoree
Out., writes:—"Y nee eimed ef v.
agreeable skin .71)-cene me the Seale
' by using- Dr, t.'h ; ; •').) ;)b-itinent. The
trouble siarted b it clti.t.g ttn)1 pain
in the :wale, ti. weeld get dry
e, and crackand el; thees would bleed,
• and the hair 'W di fen. (mt. I tried
three (looters neneele metere. :n -el
fored for three 7 -ewe tneuling. M the
almanac, altont (*lens's 1'.intment,
I began its nee, ord. am now com-
pletely cured. Tee eair has grown
aemin, and I are me I ever was.
You are at liete use thie letter,
for I am glad to reeommend so ex-
cellent a treatmens."
Dr. Chase's 'i 't has no rival
as a cure for iimei e. elan disease.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Between two grafts a heeler grabs
both.
Only a foolish man will refuse to
laugh at his wil'e'r; jokes.
Some love affairs end at the alter—
though few ever get that far.
If it is necessary to make nemies,
choose lazy men.
Nothing interests women more than
a man who refuses to explain things.
There may be a lot of credit due to a
man's wife, but she usually demands
cash.
Nothing pleases a homely woman
so much as to have a man compliment
her figure.
Don't be alarmed if a child takes to
writing poetry at the age of seven;
there is always a pos,ibility of living it
dowe.
It's easier to get a poor wife then
a good cook.
One man's automobile may be an-
other man's Juggernaut.
Every man has a hcbby and every
woman two or three.
It's easy for a two-facel person to
manufacture a barefaced lie.
Abuse someone and we alwaes find
an appreeiative audience.
ENGLAND'S PREMIERSHIP.
A Coveted Office That Brings Misery
to Its Incumbents.
The lot a the British premier is like
that of the policeman in the Gilbertian
ballad—not a happy one. After Lord
Derby had been prime minister be
said that he had had only two happy
days le office, one being the day he
entered it and the other the day he
'retired from it.
Peel wrote: "It is impossible for me
not to feel that the duties are above
all human strength; at least, above
mine." Peel also once made the cur.
ous statement that if his nose had not
bled every night during his premier-
ship he could not have borne the load
of his position.
Lord Palmerston was so much af-
fected by his work that he had a spe-
cial high desk built, which necessItat
ed. a standing position. He explained
that if he fell asleep while telpg to
keep up with his work the falrwould
awaken him.
Disraeli frequently stated that no
man could have any notion of the ar-
duons life, and when Gladstone was
released from the duties of prime min-
ister he leaped head over heels down
a grass bank at Lord Evans' through
sheer delight.
Lord Rosebery once wrote the fol-
lowing concerning the duties of prime
minister: "He has to deal with the
sovereign, with the cabinet, with par-
liament and with public opinion In its
various kinds and degrees. Some' of
his colleagues he must convince, some
he may have to humor, some even to
cajole. It Is a harassing, laborious and
Ungracious task."—New York Times.
A Safe Background.
A. man rather *untidy in his personal
habits was discussing the meestion of
a new waistcoat With a Friend,
"What Color would you advise?' he
asked the friend.
"Why," Said the friend, "I'd get one
of soup color!" — Saturday Evening
Post.
The Burned Church.
31m fregareling damage to church by
fire) -Gond job it wasn't a factory,
Bill. Mil,- You're richt. mate. Only
one limn IAD!' OM ul vork. anti ild
dru Ws his I1)uney.-1.en4lon Punch.
Probably an Accident.
1 ;lOt41 pale the hekle.
nCra
-N.. Hew diel you hat een to glance
01 icmeeee Breen," Ileteild.
Not Ignornnt of misfortune, I learn
fret» me. otte) wiees to aldl the tvretelied.
...Verge".
•,d.r*.c4.**Ay•
Faint Heart.
"Aare yen spoken to father yet?"
"Certainly. I said 'fitted evening'
When I matted him ie tbe ball.H—Penn-
olvanla Puneh new!,
aft" MS it IYM are bes'ond the &Mtn)]
of r11$17j, but bis Nnuittet 1.3 lit hiS OWS
Poster.— Bee eMont.
eee;...e-e-eeeet...eZeee'et-•o•''eeeen
liumer ni/d
Philosophy
23,eD siNcit,iv 1$,T. SP:47771
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER.
(10 guy
T teeee ruy weney was shy
Come ;al' saiAl, "Jack,"
With a slap on the back,
"Here is a ten
Till you see me again,"
SUPPiret it through
Without ito how -'d -do?
Nobody:
Who was the queen
Of the age of sixteen,
Pretty and shy,
Says, "Hy and by
You'll he 11)y fad,
Suet: a ilne
King of my heart,
Never to part?"
Nobody:
Who was the cook
Who said: "Sir, you look
Hungry indeed.
Come, have a feed.
Nveryttung fres,
Pill up on me.
Do eat enough"—
Who was that bluff?
Nobody!
Who was the boss
Coming across
One of these days—
There with a raise,
Ample and plain,
Dig as a. train,
Degging me, "say,
Won't you please stay?,
Nobody!
Suited to Him.
"Do you think Boggs is a bright
man?'
"Well, to tell the truth, I think he
ought to move to Arizona."
"'What has that got to do with It?"
"Well, it never rains there."
"Suppose it doesn't?"
"It wouldn't matter whether he knew
enough to home in out of the wet or
not."
Strong on History.
"These low humps that you see in
the rear of the barn were thrown up
by tbe mound builders," explained the
proprietor of the place.
"Very interesting." said the visitor.
"We are quite proud of them."
"Did 1 understand you to say they
were built by your ancestors?"
Not Always.
"Black eyes are a sign of a quick
temper."
"Are they?'
"The same belonging to the owner
of the black. eyes?"
"Not necessarily."
Of No Use.
"She claims she can hypnotize peo-
ple." -
"I don't believe it."
"Why not?"
"She isn't married."
•
A Dampener. •
"Young men today don't seem anx-
ions to marry."
"I wonder why."
"Maybri they have been around pric-
ing millitier,y."
Tho Usual Way.
"They always get iato an argument.".
"Over what?"
"Anything or nothing."
"And how do they come out?" .
"Fall out."
Getting Revenge.
"She always takes her husband along
when she goes shopping."
"Getting even for the times when
men made women beasts of burden."
Easily Proved.
They say it is more pleasing
To give than 'tis to get, . ,
m 1
I3ut it is ore expensive.
On that it's safe to bet.
Problematic.,
"She says she
looks very young."
"Heavens!"
"What do you
mean?"
"Wonder what
her Idea is of how
age looks."
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
It is so easy to bring oneself to be.
live that what would be rank flattery
In any other case was no more than
one's due in one's own.
The real education of an Individual
begins when his parents Or guardian
concludes that it is finished and leaves
him to his own resources.
We hate to be Interfered with When
we are engaged in our time honored
privilege of playing the fool,
Th takes more to support the Iranity
of some people than it does to support
their self respect.
Bxpl5ining a joke to a. Stupid person
IS as pleasant as paying last yeat4s
laundry bill.
.111.
Being able to earn a gOod salary
doesn't profit a man much Unless ho is
also able to tonnect Up with a Man
able to pay the smile. .
When in doubt dtm"t 60 it,
GILLETT'S LYE
EATS Di RT "
see-
•.•=:,..;. • •?.-
leUtl..NPIt,112,14
vials E rIst
,
GILLETT COMPANYLIMIT°
TORONTO OMT. ,,Rot•
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
P course we all know that if other
people were as liberal minded as we
are there would never be the leaet bit
of friction in the world.
Insanity continues to he the favorite
excuse for iunnte men noose.
Money may not buy balminess, but it
will buy all the other things that hap-
piness ought to have.
If accidents dien't happentbey
Wouldn't be accidents.
Hens are the moot coMeary minded
objects on the farm. Whet) eggs are
worth 60 cents a dozen they refuse to
lay.
Difficult Hunting.
There is po pole to look upon
1Jp in the frozen zone.
The man who finds it must depend
On instruments alone.
Unlike a whitewashed clothesline post
Or like a walnut tree,
It doesn't stand, and so it takes
A sage the polo to see.
One who had never bunted poles
Ilight think it was a snap,
Dor he has seen it since a boy
night there upon the map.
He thinks that be would only need
some doughnuts in a bag
To sally to its hiding place
Ana with the pole -play tag.
But disappointment would be his
If it should be his fate
To find the pole, fur thereabout
Is only good to skate.
He wouldn't even find a hump,
A hummock or a knoll.
You bet old earth is pvetty smooth
Up there about the pole,
No; it requires a lot of sense
And Instruments and skill
To be the one to do the job
And nobly fill the bill.
No dream book writer need'apply.
A rnan of instinct rare
It takes, with science at his back,
To know that he is there.
Told Her Nothing.
"What kind of a man did Belle
marry?"
"I bear be is an oetogenarian."
"Ob, I don't care anything about his
religion. How much money has he
got, and what is bis age?"
The Kind That Bites.
"'What is Scroogs in such a hurry
for?"
"Maybe be bas just got a wireless
from his wife." "
"Wireless nothing. You can bet
there were barbs on
Should Be Exempt.
"He is both fat and bald."
"Then he shouldn't have to pay
taxes."
Just Alike.
"The Lord loveth a cheerful giver!'
, "So does the chronic borrower."
Watch Him.
Beware of the affable stranger!
Be there with your band on your gun,
He isn't around, you may wager,
With all of that honey for tun.
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Having borrowed trouble and made
yourself miserable therewith, you, be-
ing honest, are constrained to return
it with interest and thereby maks
some one else miserable.
There are people who cultivate a su-
pernaturally wise look for the purpose
of covering up their inward foolish.
ness.
Money talks, but it seldom addresses
large audiences.
A gift of gab has been the undoing
of many a man.
The man who makes a fool of him-
self bag no one bat himself to blame
if he doesn't do a good job.
Frenzied finance is the kind you bare
minus the money when you are called
en to riev Christmas bilis.
The Choicest
For lack of cash to keep the pace
The best man often tnisse,s.
The only good things that are fres
Are kisSes.
Depends.
"It is easy to lie."
"Not when you have to depend upon
the lie to make yonr living for you."
Reason Enough.
"Why did he call it a popular lec.
ture?"
"Because nobody came, 1 guess."
Man Next tloor to Hear From,
"Ile hasn't ab enony in the world.*
"How old is this marvel?"
"Oh, about six or eight hours."
Wary of All Cures,
"1 bee yon have a very hard celd,"
"Thank you, #lease don't mention
Cene-e-n-eseese-neese-sze•seeeee>ezsee
Humor and.
Philosophy
fly V WICAJV smirti
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
wb3 dowt know oils wore Ithout the
north pule than we (Ild six months
ago, but We btIIiW 11 lel more about
Cook nitd Peary.
And the most discouraging thing
about it is that whether we get it or
not after a while we don't want it.
A clever men uever lets It be known
how reully clever be Can be lest he
disconitt his own ability.
A man may get
his picture in the
papers foe many
things, 81)(1 some-
times it vests him
O fortune to get it
out again.
All of us have
lots of ancestry,
and the grea.
thing thank-
ful for is t hat
most of us know
nothing about
them.
'Overconfidenee in our own ability Is
merely tbe complement of underesti-
mation of other men and things.
Our own country is tong on climate
of varying degrees of inteneity.
Anybody can piny tbe fool, but few
get encores from their audiences.
An Early Invention.
There is no modern joy ride
Like those wellsed to take
When snow was on the meadow,
The ;river and the lake
With school day Sweetheart Sally
Tucked up to bar the cold
All in a homemade cutter
That only two would hold.
Style wasn't on the program,
There was no fancy speed,
But just a pleasant jogging,
With Dobbin for a steed,
'yet those who by the wayside
Observed the passing pair
Had envy in their glances
And wished that they were there.
The tinkle of the sieighbell
Made music sharp and sweet
And brightened up the village, ,
Gave life to all the street,
.And as into thecountry
It softly died away
Left memories with the hearers,
Of days when they were gay.
Those sleighing days delightful ,
Of life and strength and hope
Before youth went in earnest ;
Out with the world to cope—
There is no turning backward
To that alluring track.
We've lost the combination nee
And couldn't get it back.
•
j 4;44.4' ee
Truly Wonderful. -
"I have a wonderful memory," la'
"You have?" ,
"Yes, indeed." :
"How many quarts in a bushel?"
"You see that's what's so wonderful
about it. It absolutely insists on
throwing out all extraneous and im-
material matter."
Where It Would Help.
"The czar never goes anywhere un-
less he has a bodyguard of soldiers
and detectives all around him about
four deep."
"It must be very annoying to live
that way."
"Yes, unless one wanted to go to it
church fair."
The Reason.
"She is very popular."
"She seems very unattractive. I
:wonder what the secret is."
"She is fond of children."
"And bakes such good cookies."
Mean.
"What beautiful hair!"
"Whose? Mrs. Brown's?"
"Yes."
"Her taste ttad selection
things are perfect."
In such
...
11111111
'W111/
BRASS
BRASS()
eismausell
METAL POLISH
—for brightness'
sake.
.At ail Grocers
and Hardware
Dealers. 14
...
A YEAR IN HEAVEN.
In loving memory of Mrs, William
Coulter, of Turnbirry, who died July
23rd. 1919.
One year among the ungele, beloved,
thou hest been,
One yeer has heaven's white portal
shut back the sound of sin; •
And yet no voice, no wl»sper, comes
floating down from thee
To tell us what glad wonder a year of
heaven Indy be.
Our hearts before it listen —the beauti-
ful closed gate;
The silence yearns around us, we listen
and we wait.
It is thy heavenly birthday, on earth
thy lilies bloom;
In thine immortal garland canst find for
these no room.
Thou lovedst all things lovely when
walking with us here;
Now from the heights of heavens seem's
earth no longer dear?
We cannot paint thee moving in white -
rebid state afar
Nor dream our flower of comfort a cool
and distant star.
Heaven is hut life made richer; therein
can be no loss;
To meet our love and longing thou hest
no gulf to cross:
No adamant between us upreare its
ro:ky screen.
A veil before us only - thou in light
serene.
That veil 'twiase earth and heaven a
breath might waft aside,
We breath one am, beloved, we follow
e one dear Guide?
Passed into open vision, out of our mist
and rain,
Thou se.e.st how sorrow blossoms, how
peace is won from pain.
And half we feel thee leaning from thy
deep cattle -of bliss
To say of earth, "Baloved, how beau-
tiful it is!
The lilies in this splendor the green
leaves in this dew;
0 earth is also heaven, with God's light
clothed anew!"
Because we know thee near us and.
nearer still to Him,
Who fills thy cup of being with glory
to the brim.
We will not stain with grieving our fair
though fainter light,
But cling to thee in spirit as if thou
went in sight.
i"For God's Sake,
Let Me Stay!"
He pleaded with all the intensity hie
weakened body and soul could master.
His voice trembled. Tears lurked in his
letrained, anxious eyes. "I have traveled
for two days on the train," he said. "I
have been turned out of my boarding house.
I have been turned out of a hotel in my
own town. The local hospital refused me
admission. Nobody wants me. For God's
sake; doctor, leb me stay."
This man had been a railway conductor.
He had money to pay for his needs; so he
applied to the Muskoka. Cottage Sabatorium
for treatment of the disease which held his
life in its grip—consumption. But those
suffererswithout money and withoutfriends,
what of them? With their hopeless know.
ledge thab people shun them,they believe
it fable to seek relief. If their lives are to
be spared they must be sought out and sup.
plied. with nourishinent, medicine, and
treatment. To do this costs money. Will
you contribute a trifle to help in this effort
to save lives/ Please act quickly. Winter
has brought keen suffering.
IContributions to the Muskoka Free Joa.
petal for Consumptives will be grabefully
acknowledged. by W. J. Gage Chairman
' Executive Committee, 84 Spaduia Avenue,
or R. Dunbar, Secretary urer, 347
Zing -Street Week Toronto.
Into Worse Hands.
"I am going to disarm the critics."
"How?"
"By not doing anything."
"Just wait till the gossips hear about
you.,,
•
i
Little, But—
It isn't always size that counts.
Bulk doesn't have the call.
A bumblebee, it cuts some ice
Although it is so small.
Give Them a Change.
"He has a scheme to rob war of aR
Its terrors."
"BOW is he going to do it?"
"Let only married men enlist."
• _—
Good In Both Trades.
"Young Skidoo is It regular out -up'!
"Is he?"
"You bet."
'
"Butcher or tailor?" •
Some Speed.
"How did you come overt"
"In my aeroplane."
"Yes, like thunder."
t!, • /
"Noi like lightning."
Great Attraotion.
These 'Yankee gills, as you obwerWl‘
To dukes whose funds are low
Are simply irresistible
11 pa has got the dough.
At It Again..
"They buried the hatchet yesterday.‘
"Well, a resurrection has Wadi
place."
At the Offiee.
"That new young man is too iblire
"Then t sae Ms rapkt finisb."
A woman isn't necessarily industrious
because she has a busy tongue.
Love brings the person in, but only
common sense will keep the divorce
judge out.
A regular woman never waits until
to -morrow to blow in the money her
husband hand her yesterday.
Had a Weak Heart
and Bad Shaky
Nerves. for Years
Milburn's Heart and Nerve
Pills Cured Him
Mr. H. Percy Turner, Marie Joseph,
NeS., writes:—"I have had n weak heart
and bad, shaky nerves for years, and
have tried alinost everything, but mathing did me any good till I was advised
to try Milburn's Heart and Nerve Pills.
I was surprised to find how one box
helped me, so I tried two inore awl am
now completely cured. You may use
my letter as an. aid to others stifTerhig
from heart or nerve troubles."
IVIllburn'e Heart and Nerve Pills ere
a specific for all run down Inca ami
troubled with their heart or rime. e
Milburn's Heart and Nerve Pille ere
Cents per box, or 3 bowel r
at ell deniers on '"ese
o price by The T. neer...ea:ere
Tomato, Ont.
Canadian Bank Notes Good as Gold.
To prevent any uneasiness of unneces-
sary trouble on the part of those not
familiar with financial matters, and
with the strength of our Canadian bank-
ing systwn tbe Canadian Minister of
Finance has issued a timely and, re-
assuring statement,
He outlines the effective steps which
the Government is taking to ensure an
abundant supply of currency during the
war, and authorizes payments in Bank
Notes instead of in Dominion Notes or
Gold,
This is to any, the familiar $5, $10 and
VO bills, and those of higher demonin-
ations, issued by our Canadian Charter-
ed Banks have now exactly the same
value as gold.
Railways, express companies, mar- I
chants, everybody in Canada, will con-
tinue to receive and miike payrnents in
Bank Notes. Our Canadian Banks are
in splendid position to meet any demand
which may be made upon them, as thi?ir
reserves are exceptionally strong.
If you want to see a small boy slop
over with ingratitude, present aim with
a manicure set.
At the age of forty a man is apt to
feel under everlasting obligations to
the chap who married the girt he was
spoony on at twenty.
On the Advice
of His Doctor
Ho Used Dr. Chase's °hutment for
Protruding, Piles With Splendlit
iotoestellfttos'
Tn a doctor can only thin'W
of an operation when asked for a;
troatm i for piles. Some are suffis
ciently broad-minded to use the most
effective treatment available, which is
illinlias1ei°1bt:r7 Dr. Chase's Ointment, als
was proven the ease referred to 14
Mr, Sietion E. Jones, Railway street,
Inverness, N.S., writes :—"I have)
found Dr. Miami's Ointment the best,
treatment obtainable for protrudimei
piles. For three years I suffered
pfrboyinsicniloino
estantidywas advised by a local'
Dr. Chase's Ointment.:
I had tried many treatments in vain,
and therefore Icnow which is the best.'
/ can highly recommend Dr. Chase',
Ointment, and you are at liberty to
use this statement."
The record of cures of every tom,
of piles which stands behind Dr.'
Chase's Ointment is the strongest
guarantee you can have that it will
promptly relieve and cure this all-)
raent, even in the most aggravated
form. 60e a box. all dealers.
There are several undesirable brands
of trust but trusting to luck is as un-
satisfactory as any.
The way of the transgressor may be
hard and there are other ways that are
not easy,
Western Fair
LONDON, CANADA
Ontario's Popular Exhibition
Septembqr 1 lth to 19th, 1914
INCREASED PRIZE LIST
Magnificent Programme of Attractions. Two Speed Events
Dat..y. New Fireworks Every Night.
COME AND SEE
The Dominion Experimental Farm Exhibit and The Canadian
Royal Dragoorxs,
The Con. T. Kennedy Shows will fill the Midway.
Music by the best available Bands.
Reduced Railway Rates commencing Sept. 11th
Special Excursion Days, Sept. 15th, 16th, lith. All ticke t
good till September 21st.
ALL 1NFORHATION FROH THE SECRETARY
W. J. REID, President A. M. HUNT, Secretary
.1•11•11•1•11!
PRINTING
ANA,
STATIONERY
We have put in our office
Stationery and can
WRITING PADS
ENVELOPES
• LEAD PENCILS
BUTTER PAPER
PAP E TERMS,
a complete stock of Staple
supply your wants in
WRITING PAPER
BLANK BOOKS
PENS AND INK
TOILET PAPER
PLAYING CARDS, etc
We will keep the best stock in the respective lines
and sell at reasonable prices
JOB PRINTING
• We are in a better position than ever before to attend
to your wants in the Job Printing line and all
orders will receive prompt attention.
Leave your order with us
when in need of
LETTER HEAD&
BILL HEADS
ENVELOPES
CALLING CARDS
CIRCULARS
NOTE HEADS
STATEMENTS
WEDDING INVITATIONS
POSTERS
CATALOGUES
Or anything you may require in the printing line.
Subscriptions tteken for all the Leading Newspapers
and Magazines.
animogreneramookokemo,
.0110.1•01.11.116.01111•11010.10.000.1
The Times Office
STONE BLOCK
Witigh am,
Ont.