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Home My WebLink AboutLucknow Sentinel, 2009-09-09, Page 5s • • • 1 \, • • • e • . • • �1 t t \ \ s • * The key to being a great husband is trickery The key to being a great husband is trickery. For instance, my family thinks that if some- thing breaks, I can fix it. My fixing strategy consists of these three stages: 1. Leave the broken object in my shop for a month to see how important it is. If I am reminded about it once a week,, I must go to Step Two. If not, I can throw it out in good conscience. 2. Having been pestered to fix the object in question, I heat up the glue gun, all the while frowning and turning the object over and over in my hands. 3. I clean out whatever dust/dirt is on/in it. I glue whatever looks loose. In a surprising number of instances, this system works quite well. As a back-up, I always, without exception, sell the thing I just fixed. This works for the kids' radios, dolls _ and toy trains, but not for our bathroom. As you know, we recently completed renova- tions on our bathroom and since then, I haven't been able to sleep a wink. In fact, I')e taken to using the bathroom downstairs for all of my needs. It's not because my wife is worried that my manliness will sour the 'ambience of our new room. It's actually for two reasons: A) There is no curtain on the new window and I hate doing my business in front of my neighbors.. 2) I INSTALLED .THE TOILtT. I have no idea how long it will last but it will definitely last, longer if I never, ever use it. I know .this seems crazy, but it is true. In fact, the only time I did use it, I somehow knocked the seat loose and now when you use it, it's like pooping on a Krazy Karpet. The same holds true for the towel bar that I • installed in the tub .surround. I mean, we don't poop on it but it was good for a while and then it fell off. So now •1 have it glued to the wall and I never even look at it sideways because I know that it is waiting for me to touch it so that it can fall through the tub and into the .basement below. Unfortunately, this problem is not limited to just the bathroom. My wife bought me an awesome guitar bracket for my birthday. I used the stud finder tolocate exactly where I should mount it on our newly painted and painstakingly decorated living room wall. I marked and pre -drilled the holes. I enjoyed the bracket for a total of forty- eight hours before the wall spit the screws out, taking the bracket, my guitar and a huge chuck of drywall with it. The upside to this is that: #1 1 decided NOT to be a surgeon. #2 The real estate marketis on the upswing. It may be time for a move... Mark Thrice is our nationally syndicated humor columnist and the award-winning author o Halfway to Crazy. \ \ . t \ t \ • • ♦ \ \ \• \ \ • \ • \ \ t Lucknow Sentinel, Wednesday, September 9, 2009 - Page 5 Alzheimer. Society looking for volunteers The Alzheimer Society of Grey -Bruce is issuing an appeal for volunteers to host Alzheimer Coffee Breaks this fall. "Coffee Break is one of the Grey -Bruce chapter's most important annual awareness_ . and fund-raising events," said execu- tive director Deborah Barker. "Its success is vital to our ability' to provide information, education, support and counselling services across the two. counties." The Society is appealing for individuals or groups to ..host Alzheimer Coffee Breaks in their homes, PI businesses or work- places, of in their church, their social club or serviceorganiza- tions. "Coffee Break is really a whole series of individual awareness and fund-raising events across Grey -Bruce and its continued success is built on the efforts of hundreds of individuals and organizations who prove there is strength in numbers," said Barker. A Coffee Break can be as sim- ple or as elaborate as 'the . host chooses, from a . coin box and awareness information by the coffee machine at work, to a bake sale, a wine and cheese event or even a pot luck dinner. "In this uncertain economy the success of Coffee Break is even more important," said Barker. "Less than 45 per cent of our annual budget comes from gov- ernment or other outside sources?' "We depend on the generosity of the Grey -Bruce community to ensure that we will continue to meet the needs of affected indi- viduals, their families and their caregivers, in a timely fashion." said Barker. "Every Coffee Break, no matter how small or how large, makes an important contribution." Last year more than 350 hosts throughout Grey and Bruce opened their doors and invited friends, ' neighbours, clients and business colleagues in for a cup of coffee in _ support of the. Alzheimer Society of. Grey - Bruce. They raised an : amazing $61,000. "As our host recruitment cam- paign goes forwart this year we are seeing the impact of the recession and the concernsit is causing for individuals and in many workplaces where staffing levels have been reduced," said Barker. "The number of hosts signing up this year is down from last year so we are urgently ask- ing individuals to step forward and host a Coffee Break." More than 95 per cent of the money . raised in Grey -Bruce stays right here to provide servic- es for individuals affected by Alzheimer's disease and related disorders, and for their families and their caregivers. The balance goes to research into a cause and a cure, and into improving best care practices. "The Grey -Bruce community. has always shown commitment and generosity when a need is understood," said Barker. "We are appealing for that support today." For more information, or if .you would like to host an Alzheimer Coffee Break, please contact. the Alzheimer Society . of Grey- Bruce at 376-7230 (1-800-265- 9013). You will receive a Host Kit and ideas for making your Coffee Break a success. A Small effort 'on your part. can make a significant contribution to our work in Grey -Bruce Coffee Break is officially Thursday, Sept. 17, . 2009, but that day is not always conven- ient. You can hold a Coffee Break any' time during September, or even October, on a day ,and at a time that works best for you. A Coffee Break. canbe easy to organize and yet very effective in raising awareness and the 'finan- cial resources we need to contin- ue serving clients across Grey- Bruce. There are 2,500 adults age 65 and older who have been diag- nosed with Alzheimer's disease or a related disorder. However, it is also known that up to 65 per cent of those experiencing mem- ory loss or cognitive impairment do not seek a diagnosis. "That means the true number of those affected exceeds 7,000," said Barker. • Submitted Lightning played some havoc at the home of Lucknow resident Joanne Mapper on Aug. 20.A bolt of lightning touched down at her hone this past 'Thursday and it split bark and wood all down the tree.Wood shards were strewn all over her property and across the street. - More at: www.lovattspuZzies.com This week's puzzle sponsored by: To solve a Sudoku puzzle, every number from 1 to 9 must appear in • Each of the nine vertical columns • Each of the nine horizontal rows • Each of the nine 3x3boxes • Remember, no number can occur more than once In any row, column or box WMW Remax Land Exchange Ltd., Brokerage Independently Owned and Operated Mitchell Wotan Broker 100 Lake Range Drive, Point Clark RR I• Kincardine, ON N2Z 2X3 Office: 519-395-0620 Email: mitch.twolan@remax-tx.ca Coit 519-955-0664 yyyyw RemaxLandExchan .ca Fax: 519-395-0142 ge See answer on classified pages