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Lucknow Sentinel, Wednesday, April 15, 2009 - Page 5
Some men still have to learn the way to
keeping things tidy and proper at home
It'sA lonely job I have. Few people could take the
c' instances and situations that shape our lives
and translate them so that you, the public, can see
that most of us are goobers. Even fewer could do it
for free.
Take, for instance, how a guy thinks, partic-
ularly in regard to household chores. To be
honest, there's very little thought involved
there. But you have to understand that we guys
are trying.
"I'm trying," I'll say to my wife.
"Very much so," she'll reply.
The problem starts in the bedroom.
You see, no matter where we leave our
clothes, they always end up folded in the
dresser. And the clothes that we take the
time to put in the hamper suddenly appear, days
later, freshly laundered no matter how filthy and
stinky they were! I don't know the "scientific prin-
ciple" involved here, but I personally believe that
it's Magic Hamper Gnomes.
I used tom the same thing about supper dish-
es. When the meal was done, you left the dishes on
the table. When it was time for the next meal,
VOILA! Clean dishes! And different food!.
Together!
Then one day, after a particularly tasty meal
involving lots of cookware, my y wife led me to the
kitchen.
My Wife: "I've had a long day. It would be nice
if you helped with the dishes."
Me: "Of course, my love! Whatever you say!
Now could you please stop pinching the inside of
my arm?"
And off I ran to the table, grabbing plates, cups,
silverware, children...Ha ha! No problem!
"Hey, I know," I thought. "I'll go the extra
mile here and clean up the dishes AND the
salt and pepper shakers."
What a great husband I was, bringing my
soiled plates from the dining roomto the
sink.
"The dishwasher is empty," said
my wife.
"Good work,",1 said, congratulat-
ing her on a job well done. "It's
great to know that some of our major
household appliances, while looking full, are actu-
.ally hot.,,
"Take ... the ...dirty ...dishes....and... PUT ... them
... IN..: the... DISHWASHER ! " she said. Up until
now, I had not realized my wife's talent for speak-
ing through clenched teeth.
Now I fear that since I have : learned the secret
route to the dishwasher, certain people ma. expect
me to clean up after myself EVERY I EAT,
including at restaurants.
From there, it's all downhill. I 'may even find
myself learning The Secret Of The Magic Hamper.
Mark Thrice is our nationally syndicated humor
columnist and the Ethan Award winning author of
Halfway To Crazy:
Lobb announces federal support Huron -Bruce
Ben jobb, Member of Parliament for Huron -
Bruce, recently announced federal support for
Town and Country Support Services under the
Government of Canada's New Horizons for
Seniors Program.
Lobb made the announcement on behalf of the
Honourable Diane Finley, Minister of Human
Resources and Skills Development, and the
Honourable Marjory LeBreton, Leader of the
Government in the Senate and Minister of State
(Seniors).
Speaking at the Betty Cardno Memorial Centre;
Lobb highlighted $25,000 in funding for Town
and Country .Support Services to help ensure that
seniors have the opportunity to participate and
take an active ° leadership role within their com-
munity.
"The Government -of Canada is proud to support
seniors in strengthening our communities and
building our country," said Lobb. "This project
will encourage seniors in Wingham to continue
sharing their skills, wisdom and experience to
benefit others."
Town and Country Support Services received
support that will help expand its exercise, social
and nutritional program activities for seniors in
Wingham.
The investment highlighted falls under the
Community Participation and Leadership compo-
nent of the New Horizons for Seniors Program,
which encourages seniors to continue to play an
important role in their communities by helping
those in need, providing leadership, and sharing
their knowledge and skills with others.
With two additional components of the New
Horizons for Seniors Program -Capital Assistance
and Elder Abuse Awareness -the overall budget of
the Program is now $35 million per year.
Since its beginning, the New Horizons for
Seniors ,Program has funded over 4,200 projects
in hundreds of communities across Canada. For
more information about the Program, please visit
www.hrsdc.gc.ca/seniors.
In Canada's Economic Action Plan, the federal
government made a clear commitment to protect
Canadians, including seniors,in difficult times by
implementing several key measures:
▪ Increasing the Age Credit 'by $1,000 for 2009
and beyond to allow eligible seniors to receive up
to an additional $00 in annual tax savings.
- Providing seniors with $200 million in tax
relief by reducing the required minimum with-
drawal amount for 2008 from Registered
Retirement Income Funds by 25 percent, in recog-
nition of the impact of the deterioration in market
conditions on retirement savings.
- Helping older workers and their families
through these tough economic times by investing
an additional $60 million over three years in the
Targeted Initiative for Older Workers, and by
expanding the number of eligible •communities to
include older workers in small cities.
- Providing $400 million over two years
through the Affordable Housing Initiative for the
construction of housing units for low-income sen-
iors.
- Establishing an . independent Task Force to
make recommendations on a cohesive national
strategy on financial literacy for Canadians.
Across Canada, the New Horizons for Seniors
Program (NHSP) helps to ensure that seniors are
able to actively contribute to and benefit from the
quality of life in their communities.
Building on the success of the NHSP, in Budget.
2007 the Government of Canada increased the
Program's budget by $10 million per year to pro-
vide capital assistance for repairs to facilities and
equipment related to existing seniors' programs,
and to raise awareness of elder abuse across
Canada.
This has . increased the total budget for the
NHSP to $35 million per year.
Photo by Garit Reid
Jessica Nelson (left) and Gloria Ritchie (right) skaters were
awarded at the 2008-09 Lucknow Skate Club's year end with cer-
titic.attes for passing their CanSkate levels. Ritchie passed her
level four, while Nelson passed her level five.
Rating:* *
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Moja at. www.Iovattspuzzieshc om
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