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Lucknow Sentinel, Wednesday, February 18, 2009 - Page 5
.The married man gets put low on the
sympathy list when it comes to the kids
There are several mistakes one makes when one
gets married. These are all due to assumptions. One
would assume that the Tender Loving Care exhibit-
ed by your mate when you are injured or sick
would be PERMANENT characteristics to be
enjoyed for years to come. One might as well
also assume that winged monkeys could fly out
of one's bottom.
The sad truth is that there is only so much
sympathy n _a wife's heart. As long as you are
the only one in her immediate vicinity, you
will enjoy. all of it. If however, Nature
takes its course and your family gets big-
ger, you will soon find yourself fourth in
line for sympathy behind:
- Your children
- Your children's pets
- Chikfren in foreign countries
- Your sister-in-law (who is also pregnant)
Example: Say that somebody puts his back out.
WE ARE NOT SAYING HOW HE PUT HIS BACK
OUT OR THAT HE WAS DOING SOMETHING
VERY STUPID. We are just -saying that his back
was very "outre". In such a case as this, the dating
man might expect to have his pillows fluffed, an
aspirin or two, even a massage.
The married man's expectations are somewhat
different. As I lay -on our bed, soreand miserable,
my wife quietly sat down beside me, laid her hand n
my shoulder and said: "You know .honey, when
you're hurt; it's not as much fun ;for- the rest of the
family."
This left me with two pressing questions:
1. Why are you telling me this?
2. How much fun did you EXPECT it to . be?
Communication is always important in a family,
especially when someone isn't feeling well. The
TYPE of communication is going to be entirely dif-
ferent depending on who it is.
If mommy is sick, you will hear:
Daddy: "Honey, just lie down. I'll take care
of the kids. Here's some herbal tea, a pillow
and a magazine. You rest, OK?"
If it is daddy, you will hear:
Daddy: "Can I come in now?"
Mommy: "But you've only shov--
eled half the drive."
Daddy: (cough, cough) "But I'm
COLD and it's time for lunch."
Mommy: "We're eating outside today.
No sense in letting a beautiful day go to waste. Keep
shoveling."
This is not to say' that wives are only mean to their
husbands when they are sick. There's plenty of
opportunity when they're healthy too A lot of that
would be reduced if the guy would only portray his
illness properly. Here are some tips:
- Everything ` should make you cough, including
sleeping, walking and blinking.
- When you cough, put some life into it. The by-
stander shouldn't, be surprised to : see one or all of
your organs come out.
Coat your body with VAP -O -RUB. This will
give it the texture and pallor of a corpse.
If you have done the steps correctly, your wife
will respond with surprising compassion:
"You don't feel good do you? Why not get some
fresh air and shovel the drive?" •
Mark Thrice is our nationally syndicated humor
columnist.
Crossing guard being sought for Bob St.
Dear Editor, -
It has come to the attention of
the Lucknow School and
Community Council that there is
no official crossing guard sta-
tioned, on Bob Street in front of
LCPS.
As a result the. SCC is very
concerned about the safetyof
students walking home from
school: It has been .. especially
treacherous during- the winter
withlarge snow banks blocking
the ,view of students and drive's
exiting the school property onto
the street. It is equally dangerous
.throughout the school year as
there are a significant number of
vehicles which use Bob Street as
a location to pick up and drop off
students, as well as a means for
Tothe the
local traffic to access the sen-
iors' home and 'many private
homes.
We know that there are many
members of the community that
also want the youth of Lucknow
to be in a safe environment. It is
with the safety of our youth in
mind that the Lucknow SCC is
seeking support to make the
Council of Huron -Kinloss aware
of this safety challenge and we
are requesting that the council
hire a crossing guard for Bob
Street, in front of LCPS.
As members of the Lucknow
community, you can show your
support. The letters may be
found at the school in the office
or by signing one of the letters of
support. The letters may be
found at the school in the. office
or by the food booth in the arena
and will be available until Feb.
25 for you to sign.
Thank you for showing that
you care about the safety of
LCPS students and therefore
support the initiative of the
Lucknow School and
Community Council to get a
school crossing guard. If you
have any questions, I can be con-
tacted at 519-357-2969.
Sincerely,
Diane Metcalfe,
Chair of Lucknow SCC
Wingharn Auxiliary pleased about bed
Members of -the Auxiliary to raise funds for their projects. the North *escast Complex and
Wingham and District Hospital They operate the gift shop in the the committee is malciag plans for
werepleased to learn at the hospital foyer, hold a rummage an interesting and enjoyable day
January meeting their donation -of 'sale spring and fall and run tither for the attendees. Wingham's tra-
an electric bed had arrived at the profitable events. This year the dition of country music will be
hospital and was already in use. spring rummage 'sale will be held used for the Swing into Spring
Each year the Auxiliary makes a inthe Wingham Legion on April theme.
donation to the hospital of an item 15 and 16. The Auxiliary always needs
to be used in patient care. The This year Wingham will host more volunteers and would be
electric bed will be appreciated by the Spring Conference for Region happy to welcome new members
patients and by nursing staff. 2 of the Hospital Auxiliaries of at any time. Telephone, 519 -357 -
Volunteers work hard all year to Ontario. It will be held April 27 at 2201 for more information.
Photo by Gorit Reid
Seen here from the left to right are Cody Westecott and Blake
Eddy who enjoyed an afternoon of public skating on Feb, 8 at the
Lucknow and District Sports Complex.The event was sponsored
by the Lucknow juvenile Regional Silver Stick Committee.
Rating:
i
r
9
5
2
c
.. •
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• Each of the nine
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• Each of the nine
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This week's puzzle sponsored by:
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Call Pat for information
519-52&2822
See answer on classified pages