HomeMy WebLinkAboutHuron Expositor, 2002-02-13, Page 10 (4)Page 10 - Wednesday, February 20, 2002
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Laughing down the aisle
Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?"
The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is
that women want men to stop asking dumb questions
like that. -Bill Cosby
1 love being married....It's so great to find that one
special person you want to annoy for the rest of your
life. -Rita Rudner
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Couples can learn from Homer, Marge
Since I'm the newlywed
husband among the
reporters in the area, it has
fallen upon me to provide
advice, or at least a
perspective, of married life
for men who are about to
be married.
As a rule, and there are
always exceptions, of
course, marriage is better
than engagement and
wedding planning.
If it's a traditional
wedding and the bride's
family is paying for it, stay
as far away from wedding
plans as you can. If your
bride complains that you
don't want to help, explain
that it's your job to make
sure the best man and
ushers are dressed
properly, on time and
sober. That can be just as
hard as the other planning.
If it's a more
by OW'
contemporary wedding,
where you and your bride
are paying, grab a shotgun
and hold off everyone who
wants to give you advice.
You don't want the advice
of others.
Seriously, though, when
you're married, you have a
new family that takes
precedence over your
other family. Forget that
and your marriage will
fail.
WHAT NOT TO DO
My wife and I have been
married for a little more
than half a year.
Recently I was running
around looking for
something while my wife
was folding laundry.
She pulled a negligee
(I'll leave colour and
transparency up to your
imagination) from the
basket of clothes and I
stopped and said, "That's
nice, have I ever seen you
in it?"
In the blink of an eye,
she had whipped me
across the face with the
negligee. Turns out she
wore it on our wedding
night.
ADVICE
The best advice for
marriage comes from the
world's most instructive
television show, The
Simpsons.
Homer Simpson holds
down a regular job. He
loves his wife and family.
Homer can't last a day
without Marge, and he
knows it. He's tried and
failed.
The Simpsons may be
called a dysfunctional
family, but they function
far better than any family
I've met in real life.
With more family
togetherness life would be
much butter, mmmm
butter, doh! I mean better.
Invitations should reflect your personality
Wedding invitations
aren't just a piece of paper
with all the relevant
information for your
guests.
They are special
visitors' passes to your
wedding. As such, they
should reflect your
personality and the type of
ceremony you are
planning. That means they
need to be chosen
carefully. The same goes
for the message they
contain.
Whether you are
leaving all the work up to
the professionals or
making your invitations
yourself, there is certain
information that you
should not forget to
include. Nothing is worse
than omitting the time of
the wedding! Your
invitations should specify
the exact hour and date of
the ceremony and the
reception, the name and
address of the church and
reception hall, as well as
the town or city of the
ceremony. Traditionally,
the text is worded so that it
is the parents of the bride
who are inviting the guests
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to the wedding, but
nowadays it is becoming
more common for the
future married couple to
do the inviting. You
should also include a reply
card and an envelope that
has the name and complete
address (with postal code)
of the person who will be
collecting these responses.
Before choosing your
wedding invitations you
should first determine
your budget. The cost of
wedding invitations can
range greatly and depends
on the model, paper stock
and amount ordered. Next,
calculate as closely as
possible the number of
guests you will be
inviting. You may decide
to send just one invitation
per family or couple; in
other instances you may
choose to send separate
invitations. This
calculation will help you
better determine the
number of invitations you
will need. Remember to
add ten per cent to this
total to allow for any
mistakes or lost invitations
that might need to be
resent.
THE 15AYrIELD TOWN HALL
on the s9uare
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reception or a gathering in the elegant num hall.
Located in the heart of the heritage d' ` the
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