Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutHuron Expositor, 2002-04-10, Page 9Church Services You are invited k attend these area c u. thes St. Thomas Anglican Church Jarvis St. Seaforth 482-7861 Rev. Tim Connor Sunday Service at 9:30 am. Parish Assistance Call 522-0929 or 345-2023 First Presbyterian Church Goderich St. W. Seaforth Rev. Vandemiey WORSHIP SUNDAY 11:15 AM Sunday School during Worship Catholic Church Saturday - 5:15 pm St. James Parish, Seaforth Saturday - 7:15 pm St. Joseph's Parish, Clinton Sunday - 9:00 am St. Michael's Parish, Blyth Sunday - 11:00 am St. James Parish, Seaforth Father Dino Salvador Bethel Bible Church An Associated Gospel Church 126 Main St. Seaforth Sunday Worship Hour 11 am Adventure Club for Kids & Youth Groups Wednesdays 7 p.m. Egmondville "United Church Rev. Judith Springett SUNDAY SCHOOL Grades 2 to 8 - 10 a.m. Adults - 10 a.m. Nursery to Grade 1 - 11 a.m. NORTHSIDE - CAVAN UNITED CHURCHES Rev. Sheila Macgregor - Minister 9:30 a.m. Cavan 11:00 a.m. Northside Winthrop 54 Goderich St. W. 527-2635 or 527-1449 Third Sunday In Easter Sermon: "A Second Chance" NORTHSIDE: Beef BBQ, 4:30-7 p.m., Agri-plex. A Day in The Life Of... Personal grief brings compassion to job By Susan Hundertmark Expositor Staff A Funeral Director When hiS grandfather died, Chris Smith, at 15, decided he would become a funeral director. But, when his mother died about a year and a half ago, he wondered for a short time if he could continue in his chosen field as director of Box and Smith Funeral Chapel. "For a short time after, I wasn't sure I wanted to be here anymore. I would have flashbacks of her funeral every time I looked at the chapel," he says. However, he decided that while he showed compassion for his bereaved clients before his mother's death, he had even more understanding to share because of his own experience with grief. "She was ill for a year so to see her going through the process of dying was very tiring and very difficult. I'd had great uncles and aunts die before but nothing had touched me before as much as my mom's death," he says. Smith says the role of a funeral director has evolved quite a bit over the years. While a funeral director has always been expected to embalm and prepare a body to be buried and to arrange the funeral, Smith says funeral directors are now expected to be educators and grief counsellors. To that end, Smith says he encourages people to express all their emotions at a funeral, from crying to telling funny stories. "People don't need to be afraid to do that. Funerals are for the living, to support the survivors," he says. He also encourages allowing children, at least those of school age, to take part in funerals. "People are sometimes afraid to bring children but Chris Smith, director of Box and Smith Funeral Chapel that's wrong. Death is not some taboo thing and children should be exposed to it," he says. Smith says the death of a child is one of the things about his job he finds most difficult to deal with. He even refuses to carry a child's casket in stock but will order them if necessary. "To have something like that around is asking for it to happen and I don't want it to. I've had funerals for two or three children in here and it's very heartbreaking to see a life cut so very short," he says. As well, Smith says he has never charged a fee for funerals of stillborn babies since he thinks the weight of grief in those circumstances is so heavy that families don't need a financial burden on top of that. . "It's hard enough for a young family to start out without that financial worry. It's the least anyone can do," he says. Smith says his job is very unpredictable since -he never knows when someone is going to die and he can be called anytime 24 hours a day and seven days a week. He says it can also he a highly stressful job, especially during times when three people die in three days and funerals run together for several days in a row. "You still have to treat each family like they're the only one in the building," he says. And, when the stress mounts, he'll take time on the golf course hitting halls to diffuse it. When he does receive a call that someone has died. the predictability of the services he offers is a comfort to the family. Along with embalming and preparing the body to look as much as possible as it did while the person was alive - and "it takes a bit of talent to get that look," he says - a funeral director also gives options and suggestions about the funeral service. contacts any clergy, sends out obituaries to the media. contacts the cemetery. makes arrangements with groups that provide luncheons and accommodates the special Bereaved becoming more involved By Susan Hundertmark Expositor Staff What's in the foot end of a casket is the most asked question of funeral directors • Ross Ribey and Ruth Townsend of Whitney-Ribey Funeral Home. "That's the biggest question on school tours and even from adults when we speak to various groups," says Townsend. "Of course, everyone is properly clothed in full street attire for the dignity of the deceased," she adds. Ribey says people are asking more questions, becoming more involved in planning funeral services, giving more eulogies and putting more energy into memorializing those who have died than they did as much as five years ago. He says 75 per cent of today's funerals involve a collage of pictures celebrating the life of the deceased. As well, there are displays of collections such as quilts, artwork and once even a kaleidoscope collection. "I personally think memorializing someone is a healing thing to do," he says. Townsend adds that sharing pictures and mementoes at a funeral starts conversation and allows the bereaved to express their thoughts and feelings about the loved one they've lost. Ribey says he aims to customize every funeral so that it meets the needs of the family "And, there's so much more help out there for the bereaved Ruth Townsend, Ross Ribey and Joyce Ribey, of Whitney-Ribey Funeral Home than there was five years ago," he says. Organizations such as Bereaved Families of Ontario and Afterloss along with other support groups give people help with their grief and recovery from Toss. "More than counselling people ourselves, our job is to direct people to the grief counselling that's available," says Townsend. As funeral directors, they say their job is to help people at a time when they need it most. "People are devastated when they come to us. No matter how prepared for the death of a loved one they think they are, it still comes as a shock when it happens," says Ribey. "The final parting is still hard for people no matter how old or sick the person was. When death comes. it's still a severance that takes time to adjust to," he says. "You really don't get over a death. Ybu just reconcile to it." adds Townsend. She says visitation and funeral services are two of the ways people have to help themselves reconcile with death. "It helps people accept the reality of death and get rid of any denial." she says. As well. visitation. especially in a small town. brings the support of the community to the grieving family. "We hardly ever have a small visitation. People connect and support each other so much in a small touches people are increasingly using as memorials. "People are often surprised by the number of details involved." he says. While Smith now provides a bulletin hoard for the family to use to display pictures of their deceased relative. families are more often bringing other memorials to the funeral home including golf clubs, hockey sticks and teddy bear collections. "One person wanted to bring in a canoe because it reminded hint of the great times they'd had at the cottage but I suggested just the paddles since we didn't really have room for the canoe." he says. Smith says there's no right and wrong when it comes to funeral services and has played music from classical to rap. He says he has great respect for the body he's preparing fi r the grave and insists on dressing it in a complete outfit o f clothing. including socks and underwear. "The person didn't go without underwear in real life so why should he or she he buried that way. 1f the family doesn't bring underwear. I'll gu out and buy it. Even if the person is dead. they are a human being," he says. Since Smith Nought the business in 1993. he says his parents and grandparents have helped out with gardening. cleaning. setting up caskets and helping out with funerals. -We're very family oriented and 1 like to think my family helps to look after other families." he says. Smith says sometimes trying to make sense of death can be difficult. "Someone perfectly healthy one day can drop dead. the next day and yet, someone can lige for years in pain. wanting to die. It's hard to understand but I guess when your tinge is up. it's up. My profession deals with the unknowable." he says. in funerals community." says Townsend. Working in a small town also prevents a funeral director from ever becoming desensitized to death and grief. "While this job makes us realize h(w uncertain life is. it certainly doesn't make us any harder or colder," says Ribey. "We wouldn't he doing people any good if we were becoming desensitized," agrees Townsend. EI THE HURON EXPOSITOR, April 2S, X001-7 Kara L. Pepper, RMT mass, tirmist Contact Seaforth Chiropractic Clinic 527-1242 for an appointment I. HIS SPRING S7 • • pi'W'ij. YOU BET In our greenhouses, our staff have been working since January to get your plants ready. We are growing many of the new varieties being promoted in gardening magazines. Come browse and experience the beauty of the season with the warmth and smells and sights of the greenhouse. Ted's Tasty Tomatoes are Ready! PIM 11 \IM; • REPAIRS • REBL - • KEYS RECOVERED • 04.MPP CHASERS • REGULATING • BENCHES BRUCE PULSIFER 348.9223 MITCHUL ANNUAL OPEN HOUSE Sat., May 5 & Sun., May 6 — from 9 am to 6 pm. Lots of door prizes! Coffee & cookies will be ready! BM •-•R ljaid i..s`s R.R.#1 Bayfield, ON NOM 1G0 519-482-3020 • c-i111•061e cameo 1, E x p c I- i c n c_ c Report and Video Presentation by Mark Bachert Saturday, April 28, 2001 7:30 p.m. Clinton Public School Gymnasium A warm Welcome to all! Bring your community organization, church group, home school group—and yourself! r Ne Admission Fee --Ne Collections! Refreshments prodded. 1 DAY ONLY - SundaAprIlR9, 10 a.m. - 4 NLYl' 80% o original price . of all. fall 8 winter merchandise *Please note, we will be closed April 30 & May 1, 2 La Tienda "the shop" unisex Casual Clothing 46 ONTARIO ST., MITCHELL (519) 348-4827 JIM ft SHRRON SMITH