HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1998-02-18, Page 16Page 4 - Wednesday, February 18, 1998
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less tangible like "As long as
we love each other."
Ball said placing such a limit
on a marriage is little better
than signing a three-year or
five-year contract which one
can cancel or renew as
required.
Not all marriages last, and
many do end when the love
ends, but to acknowledge such
a limitation before the
marfiage, questions a person's
level of resolve to what they
are about to undertake.
Hopefully, said Bal), people
who get married, "Want
somethtn)3 better than that."
In marriage, strong
commitment to 'the long term'
is what carries couples
through the hard times as well
as the good.
In essence, the act of getting
married, said Ball, is to hope
you can spend the rest of your
leu
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life with another person, and
to ask that person, "Will you
go that far with me."
That sense of seeking
stability is reflected in another
Hindu tradition which
requires the bride to stand on
a stone during the wedding
ceremony and recite the words
"Tread on this stone; like a
stone be firm."
Again, like the pole -star
ceremony, the idea is to
connect the act of getting
married with something
which endures the ravages of
time -- in this case, the
steadfastness of a stone.
Come my Celia, let us prove,
While we can, the sports of love;
Time will not be ours forever.
-- Ben Jonson, poet
15734637
As for the future and
worries about whether or not
your marriage will last forever,
Chris Morgan of the Pastoral
Centre near Benmiller says if
you can take care of the 'day-
to-day' challenge of loving
each other, the forever' will
take care of itself. As Ben
Jonson noted in his Song to
Celia in 1607, live and love
while you can because time is
a fleeting thing.
Morgan says increasing
materialism and the
requirement for both spouses
to work out of the home is
placing increasing stress on
young marriages and making
the idea of 'forever' less
palatable.
In light of mortgages, leased
cars and credit card debt, the
loss of a job can rock young
married couples. Suddenly, the
future they agreed to on their
wedding day looks less rosy.
It's difficult to substitute
dreams of romance and world
travel for a reality of eight-
hour work days needed to pay
the bills.
Morgan points to increasing
divorce percentages and says
materialism — mixed with a
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decreasing sense of traditional
'hang -on -no -matter -what'
values and an increasing sense
of "expectation" -- stacks odds
against many marriages. But
like Ball, he says if a true sense
of love and commitment
exists, there is no risk of
divorce.
In Morgan's opinion, the
secret to successful marriage is
to "learn to live in the day. '
Rather than looking back to
•what was or ahead to what
will hopefully be, he says
couples have to "remain in the
day no matter what happens."
And during the difficult times,
remember 'this too shall
pass."
13y living in yesterdays and
tomorrows, Morgan says,
"You are leaving the most
beautiful part of your
marriage -- which is now."
Come on, you sons of bitches!
Do you want to live forever?
— Marine Sgt. Daniel Daly,
a First World War battle cry
used to encourage troops to
fight at the Battle of Belleau
Wood in 1918
So if you are about to take
the big leap of faith into the
• marriage state, you might
consider what forever means
to you. Time and fortune and
rough times lay ahead, just as
they did for Sgt. Daly's troops
at the Battle of Belleau Wood,
but with the risk of defeat so
goes the possibility of glory.
With some faith and a whole
lot of effort, you may be one of
the lucky ones whose love
lasts,
Forever and a day.
— William Shakespeare
As You Like It, Act IV
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