HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1998-01-14, Page 5THE HURON EXPOSITOR, Jenearry 14, lees -s
Stop progress now! I wanna get off
The other day a friend's car
conked out along the
highway. "No problem," I
said. "I'II just call Angelo."
Manya time I've had to call
Angelo Tamburri of the
famous Tamburri Brothers.
(No, they're auto mechanics
and towtruck operators.
Those guys who flew through
the air with the greatest of
ease were the famous
Wallenda Brothers.)
If the Tamburri Brothers
can't fix it on the spot, they'll `
tow you back to the shop
from as far away as
-Cleveland,if necessary.
So I called the shop .on
behalf of my friend and
strangely enough no -one
answered. So I called Angelo
at home and he told me he
was watching figure skating
which meant the situation
may have been even stranger
than I first thought.
Tamburri's now belong to
an automated automobile
association dispatch calling
centre so the old system --
just call Angelo -- is now
redundant. 1 liked the old
system. Oh sure i_r was
personal, direct and efficient
-- everything this electron-
ically duplicitous planet
_eschews - but I guess I'm just
an old-fashioned kind of a
guy.
So now when your car
breaks down you dial a 1-900
number .a woman. who calls
herself Missus Goodwrench
reads the tow trucker's code
of conduct to you in a deep
throaty voice.
No; you call a 1-800
number and a person answers
who ... just testing your
sense of humour here. No
person at any association,
airline, government ministry
or large company ever
answers the phone anymore.
What you get is V M which
stands for Very Maddening.
It's designed to determine.
how absolutely desperate you
are to do business with them,
before you surrender and
'hang up.
Voice Mall is the single
most maddening device of
this century, if you don't
count the situation comedy
vehicle that brought Brooke
Shields to network television.
So npw to get to Angelo
'you • must dial a 1-800
number, leave a message and
someone will call you back,
Unless you're stuck in a
phone booth, in which case
they can't. When and if a
dispatcher gets back to you
he assigns the closest tow
truck operator to pick you up,
who may, or may not be
Angelo depending upon
whether or not Katerina Witt
happens to be in the middle
of her triple axle toe loop, if
you know what I mean.
STOP PROGRESS NOW!!!
Folks, we are being blindly
lead down the artificial path
of progress like genetically
engineered Iambs to the
cyberspace slaughter.
Do you realize that in Japan
they've developed a whole
race of robots who are
capable of climbing stairs,
playing the fiddle. playing
volleyball. expressing
emotion and greeting
celebrities at parties?
Do you realize what this
means? This means that
pieces of moulded plastic and
stainless steel are having
more fun in the world than
• you are. This means that
some skinny guy made
mostly of Wire is the centre of
attention of a gala affair to
which you would only be
admitted if you were dressed
asabusboy.
STOP PROGRESS NOW!!!
In Vancouver where
university researchers believe
happy animals grow_ bigger
'and faster, they have installed
personal computers in the
sties and they have all the
pigs on this experimental
farm playing video games.
Yes, it's George Orwell's
Animal" Farm meets
America's Funniest Home
Videos. And yes, the pigs
also find Bob Saggat really
really annoying.
Now think, when_was the,
last time you romped around
naked and randomly passed
gas while playing Diddy
Kong Racing? You see what
•I'm saying -- everything
. including your pork
- tenderloin is enjoying a better
standard of living then you
are because you bought the
big lie that progress was a
good and necessary thing
First there was Dolly, the first
sheep cloned from a single
cell. Now there's Polly, the
second cloned sheep and
she's genetically engineered
to give Factor IX type milk to
treat hemophiliacs.
Next? How about Good
Golly Miss Molly, a sheep
with the head of Little
Richard that sings and dances
and is available for birthday
parties and proms.
Motivation by Osmosis: What. inspired Teriy Fox
In March 1977 Terry Fox
experienced some unusual
pain in his right knee. Within
a week the series of tests
proved he was suffering from
osteogenic sarcoma - cancer
of the bone. To save his life,
the doctors suggested an
immediate amputation of
Fox's right leg.
•
On March !i, 1977. the
evening before amputation,
many friends, relatives and
well-wishers camc to visit
Fox. Many brought him a
card or some flowers to checr
him up. Among the visitors
was Fox' high school
Physical Education teacher,
who had brought a copy of
the recent issue of thc
Runners World magazine in
which he had marked a cer-
tain story for Fox to read.
It was a very sad evening.
Any attempt to cheer Fox up
only brougl t tears in the eyes
of the visitors as well as Fox.
After all., Fox was only 18
years and eight months old at
the time. •
When the visitors left, Fox
started glancing at the cards
and flowers. Hc had already
been sedated in preparation
for the amputation in the
morning. He was in no mood
to read anything serious. spe-
cially not an article from
Runners World. But realizing
all through his teens he had
loved athletics. had dreamed
of 'becoming a Physical
Education teacher and his
Physical Education teacher
sincerely loved him, Fox
decided to open thc,page of
that magazine. After reading
only a few lines he became
quite interested in it. It was
the story of Dick Traum, a
one leg amputee who had
County's No. 1
The food sector is Huron
Countys' number one indus-
try.
Huron County has more
agricultural salts than
Newfoundland. PEI. New
Brunswick or Nova Scotia.
"We recognize there is' a
great deal of activity here
among the food business,
says the executive director of
Women and Rural Economic
Development
Carol Rock. says Women
and Rural Economic -
Development (WRED) and
thc Huron Business
Development Corporation
(HBDC) announce
Foodlinks: a networking
event for people in the busi-
ness of food to be held Jan.
21 from 1 p.m. until 5 p.m. at
the OMAFRA building at
100, Don Street in Clinton.
industry
The WRED and the HBDC
want to help people capitalize
on that, activity and the
resources that arc here t o
help Huron food businesses
improve their bottom line.
Rock said.
The Foodlinks event will
provide an opportunity for
farmers. food processors,
restaurateurs, owners of food
shops. caterers and anyone
else in the business of food to
make connections, identify
common needs and explore
new opportunities for busi-
ness alliance's to help meet
those needs.
To register for this event or
for more information call
WRED at 1-800-790-9949.
The WRED Rural Alliance
Project is funded by thc
Women and Economic
Development Consortium.
Gas prices soar
continued from Page 5
Edward gave the committee
a number of newspaper clip-
pings illustrating examples of
fraudulent acts in thc gasoline
industry in both Canada and
thc United States.
'"lite cocktailing of fuel is a
factor," he said.
But McTeague pointed out
the price of gas in Sarnia was
at 57 cents while it was 50 in
Toronto but Sarnia had access
to a cheaper rack price. Hc
asked Edward how this could
-be.
Edward said Sarnia gas sta-
tions tobk a beating because
of the low Canadian dollar
and have been faced with
repairs to their gas stations,
similar to one his station
-completed a marathon race in
New York the previous
month.
The story inflamed Fox's
imagination. He suddenly felt
that the Toss of a leg might
not mean the end of his abili-
ty to do something in his life.
Despite the medication. Fox
found it difficult to sleep that
evening. Hc read that story
many times and resolved to
run across Canada to raise
money for cancer research.
Since he was alone, he could
not consult his idea with any-
one.
Fox's recovery after the
amputation was good. Hc
maintained good spirits. exer-
cised well and was able to
play pitch -and -putt' golf with-
in three weeks. About a
month after the amputation
he revealed his plan to his
best friend.
1t took Fox almost six
months to share it with his
parents. No one considered
his dream as feasible. For the
next three years Fox trained
himself and then in 1980 he
started his run. No, he could
not complete his run. He had
to abandon ti it right at mid-
point, near Winnipeg. But his
dream of raising a million
dollars for cancer research
was amply fulfilled.
In September 1980. a
telethon spgnsored by CTV
Network raised $22 million
in the. name of Terry Fox and
Fox's name was listed in the
Guinness Book of World
Records.
This is an excellent exam-
ple of MBO: Motivation by
Osmosis. No one. not even
Fox's Physical Education
teacher had ,suggested to him
to undertake the project. It
was Fox's own realization
ih,
MASSAGE
THERAPY
SANDRA
SLIEOTT R.iiII.T.
Registered
Maseape
Therapi
For an appointmentll
527-1242
Seaforth Chiropractic Clinic
recently underwent. that cost
him $44,000.
In response to another ques-
tion from McTeague, Edward
said Canadian rack prices are
not coming down to match
steady decreases in crude oil
prices because the rack suppli-
ers can make more money by
,dragging out the decreases.
in. general, Edward said the
public has found issue with
the gas prices but said there
could just as easily be a trav-
elling committee formed to
look at the price of beer or
pick up trucks.
"I really think it's a public
whipping boy right nowk he said
and resolve. It was in harmo-
ny with his inherent interests -
athletics. It was challenging.
He did not want to duplicate
what Dick Traum had done.
That would be no challenge.
Perhaps Fox thought in bis
mind: "Well, if Traum can
one marathon. I will go for
one marathon every day until
I run across Canada."
And Fox visualized the pro-
ject as a good cause -to raise
money for cancer research.
Fox's Physical Education
teacher was instrumental in
creating an environment in
which Fox could see the
light, could experience the
realization of a suitable. chal-
lenging and worthwhile goal.
The •actual motivation, the
one that created the Burning
Desire in him, came simply
by Osmosis. 'Had anyone
made any attempt to influ-
ence Fox, the result would
have been far. far different.,
For inquiries Dr. Shall
Sinha can be contacted by
email, Tel. 403/467 8178.
Fax 403/467 8178.
NOTICE
to
RATEPAYERS
TOWNSHIP OF
MULLETT
Effective January 21,
1998, the municipal office
will be closed to the public
every Wednesday.
i
-McMaster
Siemon
iZr INSURANCE
BROKERS INC.
BROKERS:
Bill Siemon
Vicki Siemon
Anette McTaggart
Dan Proctor
Ken Hutchison
68 Ontario Rd. 348-9150
Mitchell 1-800.561-0183
( llti ,llrl>Iii ,tc{� I ,Illi 1)111 ,t,..
'Personal Development
•Practical Skills
•Develop Self Confidence
•Speaking Effectively
For more information or to Register Cali
Joanne Melady Ron Van Bakst
345-2152 or 393-6115
St rts:. Monday Jan. 19th at;7:00 p.m.
Mitchell Main St. United Ch roh
11 weekly sessions for 8115.00
Seniors or Students $105.00
Over 2.000 Graduates each year.
STOP PROGRESS NOW!!!
I swear, 1 read in Ann
Landers' column last month
about the guy from San
Francisco who invented the
musical condom, the only
prophylactic that whistles
Dixie while it works. A
condom with an ear for
music!?!
Do you need [her added
pressure of hearing Mick
Jagger sing "I can't get -no
satisfaction" while you're
closing fast on the
backstretch of The Boinker's
Cup? I don't think so.
Do you want to be the one
to have .to sit down with Ann
Landers and explain what
condoms are used for? No
way. •
STOP PROGRESS NOW!!!
As Ogden Nash once said,
after he had invented the
Nash Rambler: "Progress
might have been alright once
but it has gone on too long."
Or put another. way: "Sorry
we can't come to the phone
right now but Katerina and I
are working on a quadruple
grand jete, if you know what
I mean. Please call the
dispatch centre."'
THANK YOU
Thank you to all the people who sup-
ported us for the past 4 years. We
would like to welcome Kim Russell as
the new owner of The Hobby ShoR.
Ron and Bessie Broome
SEAFORTH INSURANCE
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Friday, January 30, 1998
10 am - 2 pm
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