HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1997-02-19, Page 16Page 4 - Wednesday, February 19, 1997
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Church wedding
The special setting of a church
appeals to couples getting married
The special setting of a church certainly beats the
sterile atmosphere of a judge's study.
That's why many brides want to be married in a
church.
But that feeling of finding a pretty place fora
wedding isn't shared by every church and everyone
in the clergy.
Intact, some members of the clergy and their
congregations are downright opposed to having their-
church
heirchurch serve as a backdrop -- and not a place of faith
-- during a wedding.
At one Eastern Ontario church there is a set policy
on the issue. The church restricts the number of
weddings it will allow for couples who are only
interested in using the church that day and have no
intention of returning.
Minister Rev. Nancy Knox said those who inquire
about holding 'their wedding at the church are asked
if they have any affiliation to the church.
"The affiliation can be fairly loose," she said. A
person's grandparents may be members and they
have chosen this church because of that relationship.
Other circumstances may also prevail, Knox said.
_ About half of the couples wanting to marry have no
affiliation and Knox will agree to perform a small
percentage of them.
The United Church of Canada has no national policy
regarding who may or may not be married in their
churches. Instead, policy is set locally.
Knox said some United Church congregations have
chosen to marry anyone who asks for a service,
believing it to be a form of community outreach.
Some churches require couples be members of a
congregation, although not necessarily at the church
where they want to be married. Many churches have
also made it a requirement that couples who to be
married there must first enrol in apre-marriage
course.
"It really varies from church to church."
Knox said because some denominations will not
marry couples who are being married for the second
time.
"Those are some of the conditional ones that I pick
up," she said. 'They can't act married in their own
church, but they have a faith and want to have a
church wedding."
Other couples are less interested in having a church
wedding, but still feel the necessity of having clergy
present.
Knox has officiated at garden weddings and even
recalls a ceremony on a boat in Lake Simcoe.
"They were boaters, they had a gang of them that
boated and that's where they spent their summers, sc
that's where they wanted to get married," she said.
"After the wedding someone asked if 1 would ever
do that again and I said, 'No, so don't get any ideas'."
Others want the church atmosphere or setting, but
not the church. To accommodate these couples, some
municipalities have chapels in their civic buildings.
When Knox does agree to marry a couple who have
no intention of going to church, she makes it a point
to suggest they might want to consider making the
church part of their lives.
"Sometimes they just smile and say 'That's nice.'
"How do I feel about it? I feel a little used," she said.
"You sometimes feel like you've been employed to
do a service, like the chauffeur."
What does a church wedding cost? Well, it can be
less if you are a regular church member
Regularly contributing members do not pay for use
of the church.. Those who have an affiliation pay a
S75 to use the church.
This is only part of the package, however.
Regardless of affiliation, everyone is charged $75
for the organist, $50 for the custodian and $100 for
the minister.
Metropolitan churches are more expensive, but they
are also often Tess particular about who gets married
there.
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