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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1997-01-29, Page 5Margaret code r William \. Thomas Advarexil age and modern technology are widely divergent forks in the inevitable path of evolution (I know, I'm firmly planted on the wrong shoulder of both those roads.) Now take my mother Margaret. (Inman it, just for a weekend or a walk around the block. Now!) Every since my mother's ninetieth birthday, her memory has been fading a bit. Before, whenever she'd call me. she'd usually blurt out the name of both my sisters. my niece and my nephew before she hit on mine. Now she reams off all those names plus those of the cast of Friends before she finally gets to 'Mill." I don't mind the low billing. it's the wait that's hard to take. My mother has never had much use for modern technology because her very first Lace -to -face expenence with the mechanical arts of her day, namely the Precambrian stone ax. fell on her foot and broke her baby toe. Hey, I'm kidding of course. My mother lived in Pompeii. not Preoambna. My mother has never quite grasped the concept of the answenng machine. With her hearing aid safely tucked away in her purse. which is safely tucked under the " pillow on her bed. my mother is never sure if it's a recorded voice she's hearing at the other end of the line or a rude person of few words. 1 used to get :messages on my machine in which Margaret would carry an a conversation with the machine. ask it a question, curse mildly and hang up believing I was on the line. but saying nothing just to aggravate her. Often her message was: "You think you're so smart, . well one day you'll call me for something important and I'll just stand here and say nothing like a dope and see how you like it! Goodbye." When I'd call her back. she'd be as cheerful as ever. My mother can't hold grudges. her memory will not permit it. Lately Margaret has call not developed a new policy on communication as it applies to the phenomenon of the answering machine - who needs to talk when you can get your message across by hanging up? As beautiful 'n its -simplicity as the telegraph system 'invented by Samuel Morse. Margaret Cock has been - eliminated the essential dots and dashes. Margat+et Code, which 1 believe will soon be as popular with senior citizens over 90 as cooking sherry, involves only a "click". On my machine the sound of the click preceded py the crashing of -her phone to the floor and then the rattling of • the receiver around until she finally rams it into the cradle and then, the words: "Damn phone" or "Go to blazes" - that's the signal that my mother has contacted me and requested a return phone call. Oh it's her alright - nobody loses more fights to a phone than my mother. At the end of the day. a single click on my machine represents a casual conversation. Two clicks in one day includes the casual conversation plus a severe weather warning. Three clicks covers the casual conversation, the weather warning and something she left behind at ' my place on her last visit - which could be anything fmm her solitaire deck. her Doctor encounters `ghost' CONTINUED from page 4 up and dismounted. With big Ab in front and the doctor wielding a cherry fence rail behind. The wagon was soon rumbling over the culvert. • Kill or Cure • One of the first sealers near " Walton was. at one time very ill - apparently dying - and Dr. Dulenba. was called in for consultation. He inquired of the regular doctor how -much of the stimulant had been administered and. on being told he had been given only a teaspoonful. exclaimed, "It's kill or cure." and he gave the patient a tablespoonful. The man lived. Another old settler here- abouts, I think it was Hugh McDonald, was chopping • 'woodin the bush when he gashed his boot with the axe. His foot wasn't even scratched, but he wound a piece of red flannel around each foot for warmth and see- ing a glint of red through - the gash, he concluded that he was mortally wounded and promptly. collapsed. They - carried him home and sent for Dr. Dulenba, deciding _ meanwhile not to remove the boot till he came. It was a raw January day ' and 'the riiad was Tike an abandoned battle field. The doctor came on horseback. He drew off his old coonskin coat and cap with profession- al briskness, pulled off the . gashed boot and swore loud- ly• Who wanted to ride twelve miles through, a January thaw to pull off a man's boot? Ghost Makes Mistake A few miles northeast of Seaforth there used to be a swamp on a lonely sideroad and on dark nights, at the witch's hour, a masked ghost emerged from the swamp and terrified the passerby. It was thought to be a local wag, but no belated traveller ever stopped long enough to inquire into it. ° One night the ghost.waylaid the doctor and seized his horse by the bridle. The doc- tor gave the horse a resound- ing slap and it lurched for- ward and knotked the ghost down and before hg could recover his balance the doc- tor had him by the collar. He cuffed -him first on one ear and then on the other :painstakingly and thoroughly, and wound up the perfor- mance with the admonition, "Stop your yowlin'! Folk'Ii think I'm humin l you." The ghost never appeared • again, but the next day a man with badly.swoilen ears was seen about town. For reasons. which it is needless to speci- fy, gluttony wasn't vey prevalent in those days, but one misguided individual. who fell under its spell. - remembered to his dying day the tongue lashing he got from the doctor. Still he allowed a certain latitude in • matter of diet. He never screwed anyone down to a dog biscuit and pressed hay. CONTINUED next week. `Refocusing resources' CONTINUED from page 1 sure to get this done and "to have gone this far in 111 months is a big step. I'm here to see it through for the kids of Huron." • The government is also tak- ing the education portion of taxes off of property taxes. Johns stated that the ,govern- ment bas • looked . at other models of funding, such as those in British Columbia and Alberta where education is funded only through five per cent of property taxes and Newfoundland, where it is funded thnough both general revenue funds and transfer payments. "We've looked at other models and I think we have a good way to do this," she said, adding that the gov- ernment wants to ensure that everyone gets the best value of education dollars. "There is no more money io•put into it." Alarge percentage of rural Ontario boards wanted.educa- tion finance reform. "These arc the motives why we catered into the process." ".What this means to Huron County is we are refocusing our resources in education and we will talk to boards, trustees,,prnonts and students for . input." said Johns. Tits government will establish a flat fee per student across the province. Thcy will ,add dol - tars to special items that affect different areas. She explained that.thesc included a number of areas that have transportation problems as well as children whose first language is not English. The Huron board, when amalgamated with Perth County, as proposed by the provincial government. will be one of the smallest boards in the province. To oversee this amalgamation. 'he ' Ministry of Education is in the process of establishing a committee to oversee the process throughout the province. The five -member Education Improvement Committee will oven the actions oflocal committees that are to be established to work out the process of amal- garnation. Johns suited that those who will- sit on this Ibcal committee has not been established as of yet, but she would - take one Huron trustee's recommendation of baying at least one trustee on the committee back to the ministry. Trustee Joan Van den Broeck questioned ,Johns on what she is doing t0 protect her coristituents, ,not only in education but in health care, social services, etc. "i am here to represent the communities of Huron," said Johns. "and f think people believe that. We have difficult issues to deal with. The peo- ple of Huron voted for me because I'm a different kind of person. I can make the hard decisions for the county that arc also good for the province. I am making sure that Huron County is not tak- ing Mote than its share of the cuts...This government is ful- filling • its promises. In the next election the people will decide. i have until then to represent you in the best way I know how. These are the way things have to ,go. We have to find savings in educa- tion. You can question my integrity and question what this government does, but we'll let the people decide. They will change it if they feel we will not:do the tight thing." Trustee Abby .Armstrong expressed .concern with the amalgamav;rn with Perth and asked if their schools arc not up to date like the ones in Hbron,.whether the taxpayers be penalized? "We arc committed to deal with these issues." said Johns, adding that they will ensure .that everybody is under fair and equal treatment. waiting pills or her box of chocolate Slow Pokes. Four Clicks is serious. Four clicks is all of the above plus a hue pension cheque or a listless cat with a tummy ache. (Occasionally Tiger's hairball will relieve the upset stomach and produce the lost cheque). - Five clicks is equivalent to a 7.5 -on the Richter Scale.. On the fifth click in one day on my -system, Bell Canada has instructions to send Niagara Regional Police Officers to seal off my house with -. yellow come tape. Six clicks would be like an untested nuclear weapon off - coarse and headed for Wainf eet. Click, click, click, click, click. click. vacate the premises and do not expect survivors. Now a lot of people might get annoyed to come home and find that someone has called and hung upon them up to half a dozen times. Not me. 1 can translate Margaret Code and it spells love and real concern. And when I call her back and.ask her why she phoned and hung up so. many times. she has absolutely no recollection of such events. Given my mother's memory -.unlike our justice minister. our prime minister. the head of the R.C.M.P and most generals in.the Canadian - Army - my mother's quite, likely telling the truth. January 22 Expositor Exposed! The Ex -Files: Spotted Mistakes: l 1 Page '1 "there income" should be "their income" - Judy Lamont 2) Page 6 - "Anona" - should be "Annona" • - ' Marjorie Rock 3) Page 2 - Dorothy "llillan" - "should be "Dillon in Seaforth Manor ad'- Marg Henderson Iwtt tinsstoa tutPostrelt. larmwasovelb, aav-s i Pharmacy Care Days ,.ate,, • \R aye nl',,, Keating's Pharmacy would like to invite your family and friends to our Care Day - A registered nurse will assist your pharmacist to offer F R L L Blood Sugar Reading and Diabetes Counselling DIABETES 'EARN What causes diabetes? Are you at risk? How to control diabetes for a healthier life! Review your medication! Answer your questions! FRIDAY, JAN: 31 10 awn to 2 pm ,114. 67 Main St., Seaforth -- 527-1990 HEALTH ON THE fflLL A Review of activities at SEAFORTH COMMUNITY HOSPITAL FEBRUARY IS HEART MONTH C:P.R. certification/recertifi- cation class -(Level C - adult, infant. and child) will be held -in Conf. Rm. 2 Saturday. February 22, 1997 from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. To register call 527-1650. • - JUNIOR VOLUNTEER C.P.R. Heart Saver Course is being held in Conf. Rm. 2 on Sunday. Feb. 23rd 1.5 p.m. Please keep in mind Jr. Volunteer Afeetina Thurs. Jan. 30th at 4:30 On. in - Conf Rm. 2. February work calendar. will be handed on, at -that time - HEART TO HEART Cardiac Rehabilitation Classesbegin March 27th and run each Thurs. evening from 7-9 p.m. until .May Blh. Each night focuses on a different aspect of heart disease and features Guest Speakers. Anyone with heart disease is strong- ly encouraged to attend these informative sessions. To regiater contact Val Poisson at 527-0320 or 527-1650 Est. 250. -Karen Searle, Breastfeeding Facilitator is providing. breast- feeding support and problem solving for ow moms who encounter breastfeeding problems.n For infonnation, please con- tact 527-1650- Ext. 219 or -in the case of immediate need: 522- 0409: - Please•note. the Breastfeeding Clinics will NO LONGER be offered at the Women's Resource Centre. CANCER SUPPORT GROUP a self-help program' offered at no cost providing support and practical information by trained facilitators for patients, families and friends through informal dis- cussion groups: You are invited to join us to talk or just:listen. No registration is needed and you are welcome to come as, often as you wish. Sessions are held the last Wednesday of each month at the Seaforth Manor. .For information contact Joan Chesney 527- 1650 or Shirley Dinsmore at 527,0655.- Spend 27-0655. Spend VaIertfre's Day` g` being pwpered. This Valentine's, before your big night on the town, why not start your special day being pampered by our salon staff and Matrix? We'll take care of all your and your loved one's beauty needs while you both sit back and unwind. That's our idea of romance. Call today. 1lmatrix HAIR 'SKIN -COMITIES M,ATRI.X. EXPANDING THE SALON EXPERIENCE. :etch for our special Valentine's Day Promotion. We will be donating. all Feb. 14th':s proceeds to the Seaforth Community Hospital towards the purchase of a HEART MONITOR. See next week's paper for all the details. W TOTAL IMhGE II 65 MAIN SI:, SEAFORIB 527-0780