The Huron Expositor, 1996-11-27, Page 1210-TNltt HURON 1XPOsl1OR, Novon*or It7, 11 NI
`Forget -Me -Not Tree' to be lit at library
For Alzheimer Disease awareness
"God gave us memories
that we might have roses
in December"
James M. Barrie
It was her last Mother's
Day and .my mother hadn't
made a lick of sense for
_months.
Dad .had picked her up at
the nursing home and driven
her to Seaforth for the occa-
sion. It was a lovely spring
day, The sun was shining and
she was all dressed for a big
Sunday outing for, what
turned out to be, the last time.
• She always' loved flowers. I
wandered around the back-
yard with her and she would
pick some, then put them
hack, pick some more, make
a little bouquet, then put
them hack, very gently, bah-
. Kling on, seemingly as happy
as fi lark.
But frail. You had to hold
her up.
It was weird. We were
alone. All of a sudden, out of
the blue, she clearly and dis-
tinctly said the final words I
ever understood her to say:
"Gregor - don't he sad for
me when I die. It's better than
living like this." .
My mother and I were
always very .honest with one.
another.
She knew what was hap-
pening to her.
1 found horror in that
moment. Felt fear.
Imagine the helplessness.
She died of Alzheimer
Disease about 10 months
later in late winter, bedrid-
den and incontinent, not even
babbling anymore. She
couldn't do anything for her-
self. She just lay there. A
long time.
She was 68.
1 couldn't help but he sad.
She was my mother. A bond
had been severed. Although,
in a way, it was a relief,
which, given the circum-
stances, seems the wrong
way to feel.
A sense of silent irony,
even humour, helps families
come to grips with the day-
to-day reality of this disease.
But those final coherent
sentences still haunt me.
Her final months in that
nursing home were not pretty,
although it was a quality
institution and they did
everything thcy could for her.
• It was a hard place to visit.
It drained you of emotion.
There was a room full of lit-
tle old ladies, all with
Alzheimer's, all alone, all
with their stories and all to
suffer the same fate.
• An cstimaitcd 700 people in Huron County have Alzheimer
Disease. or similar form of dementia.
• At present the Alzheimer Society of Huron County (which
was incorporated three years ago) has 53 members and a
hoard of directors comprised of 10 members. Fran Hook of
Egmondvillc is the orga'nization's president this year. The
society's office is at Clinton, at Huronview and connected
with the Huron Adult Day Carc Centre there.
• Last year it raised $32,000, 10 per ccnt of which. or
$3,200, went directly th r`esearch. Beyond fundraising. thc
area society provides support for victims and caregivers and
also tries to educate by increasing public awareness of the dis-
ease.
• There is an Alzheimer support group that meets the last
Monday Of every month in Seaforth at Maplewood Manor.
Marie Bolton is.thc facilitator. There arc five such support
groups in the county.
• In 1994 there were about 90,000 Ontarians over age 65
with dementia.
• 13y 2011, there will be 90 per cent more cases cif moderate
to severe Alzheimer Disease than in 1992.
• More than 51) per cent of residents in Ontario's long-term
care facilities have some form of dementia.
• For every person with dementia, about 10 others are affect-
ed. i.c. who must provide care.
• The cost to Canadians of caring for loved ones with
Alzheimer Disease exceeds $4 pillion annually.
S:11
,s•1/
We Can Help
At Seaforth Manor we are pleased to
offer relief care. The responsibilities of
looking after someone you love can be
a burden at times. We can relieve you
for a couple of days, a week, a month,
or whatever you need.
Our friendly staff gives
excellent care.
1
Contact Ruth Hildebrand
for more information.
SEAFORTH MANOR
100 James St. Serttitrth
527-0030
X11
It broke your heart.
It was a hell on earth.
Alzheimer Disease is Tike
that.
Give me a bullet through
the brain anytime, from'
behind, when I don't know
it's coming, if I get a choice.
Which, of course, we don't.
It is not ours to take a life.
Alzheimer killed my father
too.
The stress of a 36 -hour day.
holding a job and trying t�
care for the only woman he
ever loved, to whom he had
been married for 40 years,
helpless, watching her disin-
tegrate in front of his eyes.
worried to death about her
wandering, falling down,
hurting.herself, perhaps even
worse, embarrassed for her,
his exploring every available
option, .swallowing his pride,
accepting help. trying day-
care, having to put her. in a
nursing home against every-
thing he believed in and saw
as his duty, then the rapid
deterioration which he had
feared, the getting up each
day inside the nightmare.
broke him deep down inside,
led to an aortic aneurism,
which eventually too, robbed
him of the "Golden Years"
they always talk about; at the
ageof 67.
Eight years removed from
my mother's death I still have
difficulty looking at the pho-
tographs.
I am struck by how time
and thc disease so quickly
robbed this woman of -her.
beauty and her smile.
The terror behind her eyes.
The comfort 'no one could
give.
Alzheimer is a terrihlc dis-
case.
It takes away your dignity.
You.Iose your mind. It is pro-
gressive and irreversible..
They don't know what causes
it. Aluminum might have
something to do with it. It
might he genetic. They can't
prove you've got it until
you're gone; and by then who
cares?
It's over.
It can lead to such hitter-
ness.-It is very real and it
lasts.
Were she still amort! .t the
living such sentimen,. from
her eldest son would worry
her, and she would surely
have had a heart-to-heart
with me about them.
Because .my mother loved
all living things, and love
was not a word but some-
thing you lived. every wak-
ing hour. She always said it is
all we are here. for.
Anger : Ives nothing. It
just e t the way, she
would say. •
And deep down inside I
must learn that faith. Make
that promise.
She believed in the power
of positive thinking, at all
times, until this life rohhed
her even of that option.
If her final years and my
experience with Alzheimer
Disease indelibly impressed
upon my being one thing. it
is this - that life can he a
painful and terrible thing hut
that we must remain, and
constantly work at. being
humane to one another.
Living is like nothing.
because it is everything.
I remember her smile.
This Friday the Alzheimer
Society of Huron Ci►unty
will light a tree with blue
hulhs on the front lawn of the
libary on.Scaforth's Main
Street to raise public aware-
ness of this disease and in
support of all those .who
today are ,facing its dial.-
lenges.
hal-lenges.
Thcy call it a "Forget -Me -
Not Tree" - blue like the
flower. You may make, your
gift as a memorial. Donations
can he made- in someone.
else's name as Christmas
gifts. The society's number is
482-1482 or 1-800-561-5021.
My Niue bulb .remembers
not only my mother. but all
those fragile old ladies, or
men, in the terminal stages of
the disease in that terrible
room in that nursing home, or
all others like it. all over the
world.
May they rest in peace..
May we rememhcr them
amidst ail the commercialism
of this Christmas season of
j°Y.
-May w_e heat this.discasc.
May their families not -cry.
alone.
May there someday he a
happier ending.
• (24
o
For Alzheimer clients
WE PROVIDE THE FOLLOWING
SERVICES:
INPATIENT SERVICE
✓ Acute Care
✓ Emergency Respite •
OUTPATIENT SERVICE
/ Lab & X-ray
/ Rehabilitation & Dietary Counselling
/ Emergency Services
SEAFORTH
COMMUNITY HOSPITAL
24 Centennial Drive
Seaforth
519-527-1650
"Your
Neighbourhood
Pharmacy
Looking Out
For Your Best
Health
Interest"
VENTRAL.
KEATING'S PHARMACY
67 MAIN ST. SEAFORTH
(519) 527-1990
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