HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1996-09-18, Page 44—THE HURON EXPOSITOR. SNot.mber 111. 1555
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Wednesday, September 18, 1996
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Views expressed on our opinion page(s) don't
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tor or to refuse publication.
It's a wonderful
woof! woof! world,
On a drive Mp to the
Gatineaus of Quebec this
summer, one of Canada's
truly unspoiled splendors, I
found myself being assaulted
by one talk radio show after
another. Nobody talks on talk
radio anymore -- they spit
bile at each other through the
safet,' pf the phone. lines.
So I reached for n)y cassette
case which, of course, I'd
locked safely in the trunk. I
suppose I could have pulled
over and retrieved it, but that
would have snapped a 33 -
year -consecutive non -
stopping streak on long trips
which is why I can never ever
visit Nova Scotia without a
new kidney. I like to think of
myself as the Cal Ripken of
car trips.
So I searched beneath both
seats until, sure enough, I
found a home-made tape I
haven't seen for years. It's
just one song, repeated over
and over by Louis Armstrdng
entitled "What A Wonderful
World."
Mindlessly Ilistened to this
song until somewhere around
the third hour, one of the
lines jumps out at me like a
priest in a police line-up.
It's a sweet, short and sweet
ballad that goes::
I see trees of green,
Red roses too,
I see them bloom
For me and you,
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.
And I thought to myself,
gee, if only I had a rhyming
dictionary I could move to
the States, change my name
to Mitch. make my pitch, find
my niche, create musical
kitsch and without a hitch, be
as rich as Marvin Homclich.
Life's a hitch but still and all
-- it's wonderful world.
Especially when Louis
Armstrong sings:
I sec skies of blue,
And clouds of white,
The brightness of day,
Dogs say goodnight,
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.
Excuse me?
Dogs say goodnight!?!
I don't think so. There's no
talking in the dog world.
Dogs don't talk. Dogs may
whine, whelp, woof, wiggle,
pcc, prance, sneeze, snort,
run, roll, jump, drool, pass
gas, catch a hall, shed,
scratch and sniff -- but dogs
do not possess verbal skills
beyond that of say, Don
Cherry.
This is the main reason dogs
were never used as double
agents during either world
war.
This is why, although he
was interviewed twice for the
job, Eddie, the dog on Frasier
is not Rosie O'Donnell's co-
host on her new talk slfow.
That and he took a leak on
the set, something only
Robert Downey Jr. had done
before.
This is why you see a lot of
dogs with their heads sticking
out of moving vehicles but
you'll never hear one say:
"For crying out loud, slow
down Sam! I'm tearing up
over here!"
No, I'm sorry, but with due
respect to Louis Armstrong
dogs don't say goodnight.
Dogs communicate and
effectively too. For instance a
dog will sit nervously and
stare at you while you're
eating, in essence, begging
for food. A dog will not,
because he cannot, put his
front paws on the table, look
you in the eye and say:
"Yeah, like you need another'
pork chop and a fourth scoop
of mashed potatoes! Have
you looked at yourself naked
in the mirror lately?"
You may want to look it up
but I'm sure no dog in the
history of dog shows has ever
been disqualified for calling
one of his competitors a
"8#%@ing prima -donna."
And really, if dogs could
talk the last thing they'd say
would be "goodnight." The
first thing they'd probably
say is: "You go through with
this Doc, and when I wake
up, you better have gotten rid
of the idea of ever having
kids yourself!"
And the second thing they'd
probably say is: "Would you
quit putting those blue pucks
in the back of the toilet? It's
like drinking Zima."
If dogs talked they wouldn't
chase cats they would just
yell things like: "Your mother
sleeps with strays!".
No, dogs don't talk and in
some cases it's a damn
CONTINUED on page 5
Please, no NiMCIrp or Subway Cup
While the country is in
mass therapy for our loss to
"that country" south of us
(not Mexico) for the...(I can't
even say. it)...that W. Cup of
something, I thought I'd try
to offer some observations on
the series and maybe a clue
as to what went wrong.
Is Neale an American?
Is commentator Harry
Neale being paid by the
American networks? Some of
his pro -USA and other heli-
um -induced comments on the
game make you wonder
where his loyalties lie. Can
we trust him to call Hockey
Night in Canada this season
or should he check his green
card at the door?
In game one of the World
Cup final round against
U.S.A., Neale inadvertently
left the word "injury" out
when he stated:
"Messier wouldn't play
with the groin during the reg-
ular season."
Let's hope Messier doesn't
watch a replay of the game or
Harry Neale might be playing
with an injury.
Best Commercial Spots
Doritos - Get a Life.
Get Under Your Skin Ad
Subway Subs
Cheers and Jeers
Who says there's any rules
about what country you can
cheer for?
Don Cherry was way off
base reprimanding Canadians
for booing the Americans and
cheering for the Russians at
their game in Ottawa.
Although it's unsportsman-
like to boo any team, Canada
is not the first place this has
happened. What about World
Series games in Atlanta and
the obnoxious tomahawk -
chop? And the crowd in
Philadelphia wasn't exactly
polite to our team prior to the
first game of the final series.
(Except for the Canadians
who play on the Flyers).
As far as Cherry's comment
on which country would you
rather have backing you if
Saddam Hussein had 1,000
missiles pointed at you -
well, for one thing, their
Scud missiles wouldn't make
it much past Saddam's back-
yard. And you don't need to
encourage the Americans in
the war department. They're
their own best supporters
when it comes to dropping
bombs on other countries.
Most Feisty Player
Then Fleury deserves the
aware tor most feisty player
on the ice for Canada. While
he was sometimes over-
looked in the all-star cast, he
came through more often
than the younger, much big-
ger, much touted Eric
Lindros who never really got
much speed going, except on
a few hits.
Most Annoying TV Trick
Please CBC, stop with the
Batman -like weird angles on
interviews with players and
switching from black and
white to colour video for no
apparent reason.
The focus of the interview
should be the player, not all
the neat things you can do
with a TV camera. It just
served as a distraction from
the subject.
One of the most annoying
TV tricks was having the
interviewee looking off -angle
and not directly at the cam-
era. I noticed CBC used that
for both hockey interviews
and for their "TV to call our
own" promos on how excit-
ing it is to be Canadian,
watch Canadian shows and
news about Canadians by
Canadians. But rather than
making me feel all warm and
fuzzy about being Canadian
it just made me want to shoot
the cameraman.
Corporate Presence
Was I hallucinating again or
were there Nike stripes on the.
shoulders of all countries'
uniforms for the World Cup
tournament?
I've read the sports giant is
moving into hockey equip-
ment now - as long as this
tournament doesn't become:
"The Nike Cup" - it's hard
enough adjusting to the
"World Cup" without think-
ing about soccer.
And as far as redesigning
the hockey uniform, I hope
this means we don't see
Gretzky or Lemieux walking
down fashion runways mod-
eling new uniforms as part of
some Nike endorsements.
But I don't think the sports
marketer is very welcome - if
you happened to read the
sign behind Don Cherry's
head at the opening of the
third game against the USA
which stated: "Burn in Hell
Nike." There's really no hid-
den message there.
The Driscoll Factor
Scott Driscoll was only list-
ed as an "Alternate" official
for the final game. He should
have been an "official offi-
cial." We needed somebody
with Seaforth hockey sense
on the ice - all those positive
vibes from our town could
have made the difference for
Canada.
Well, the Americans have a
war going for them. Nothing
like pumping up national
pride by massing your forces
on the other side of the
world.
Maybe Canada needed to
do something drastic to help
our national pride, like
declare war on Quebec.
(Okay, how about
Greenland? Iceland? Baffin
Island?)
Okay, how about just a
Canadian team reaching the
Stanley Cup final this season.
(I could live with gtat).
• • • Do You Remember • •
Originally appeared June 7, 1935
When the 'Beaver, lacrosse
team of Seaforth journeyed to
New. York on the invitation
of the Crescent Athletic Club
of Brooklyn and defeated the
Club which at that time was
the chief exponent of the
game in the United States.
The game was played on
June 3, 1905, before a crowd
of more than 4,000 persons.
Playing for the Beavers
were Mulcahy, goal; Pinner,
point; Bethune, cover point;
Stewart, first defence;
Crooks, second defence;
Bamsley, third defence;
Smith, centre; Broadfoot,
third attack; T. Johnstone,
second attack; W. Johnston,
first attack; McKay, outside
home; Jackson (Captain),
inside home.
The Brooklyn Eagle of that
week makes the following
reference to the game:
"For the first time this sea-
r
By .Keith
lllMoPhail McLean
son the lacrosse team of the
Crescent Athletic Club yes-
terday fell before the attack
of the invading twelve. The
winners were the Beavers of
Seaforth, Ontario, Canada,
who defeated the home play-
ers by a score of 7 goals to 4.
They were also the victors in
the first half by six goals to 2.
It was an ideal day for a
gamc and more than four
thousand persons journeyed
to Bay Ridge to witness the
contest. They were well
repaid, as the game, barring '
little for time on the part of
the Canadians, late in the sec-
ond half was as pretty as any
of the season.
"The Canadians turned out
to ,be a big strapping lot of
fellows, who though they
said they were not in condi-
tion, outplayed and out -gen-
erated the Crescents in a most
"astonishing way. The attack
field was unusually fast.
Smith showed up well and so
did the two Johnston boys,
while Captain Jackson, for a
man of his weight, kept even
de Casanova guessing.
"Down on the defence side
of centre, Stewart and
• Bethune, both played well.
The star of the aggregation,
however, was Mulcahy,
whose game before the net
was in marked contrast to the
poor work of Rose, the
Crescent's goal. Crescent
started the scoring soon after
the whistle. Wall landed the
first goal on a pretty shot,
only to have Smith of the vis-
iting team tie it up two min- -
utes later.
"O'Rourke was responsible
for the second goal which
was made after eight minutes
of exciting play. Then the
Seaforth team commenced to
play in earnest and five goals
were tallied by them before
the half closed. Four of these
were made in three minutes,
which gives an idea of the
rapidity of the Canadian
game. These shots were made
by McKay, T. Johnston,
Jackson, Smith and McKay.
In the second period, Jackson
scored after three minutes•of
play. From then on the
Crescents took the aggressive
as the visitors did nothing but
kill time. This style of play
proved disastrous as well. as
the visitors scored twice
more before the game
ended."
Lord and Lady Aberdeen stop by Seaforth
FROM THETAGES OF
THE HURON EXPOSITOR
, SEPTEMBER 25, 1896
GOVERNOR GENERAL -
The town council, learning
that Lord and Lady Aberdeen
would pass Seaforth on their
way to Goderich on
Wednesday, very thoughtful-
ly decided to take steps to
intercept them here and pre-
sent them with an address,
thus allowing the citizens an
opportunity to show their
love and respect for Her
Majesty by doing honour to
her representative in this
country, and at thc same time
affording an opportunity to
sec the Governor-General
and his gifted wife.
Arrangements were made
for the train conveying the
distinguished visitors to
remain here for 15 minutes.
When the train stopped, Mr.
and Mrs. D.D. Wilson, who
had been previously
'acquainted with Lord and
Lady Aberdeen, met them at
their car door and escorted
them to the platform where
they were received by Mayor
Grey and the members of
town council.
The town band played a
welcoming air. Thc clergy-
men of the town, a large
number of ladies and many
other citizens were also on
the platform. Mayor Grey
read an address of welcome
and presented it to Lord
Aberdeen. He made a suit-
.nle reply, speaking for about
In the Years Agotie�]
10 minutes. He is a pleasing
s}?eaker and while thanking
the people for their hearty
welcome, expressed the very
great pleasure it afforded
himself and Lady Aberdeen
to meet so many and to
observe the evidences of
comfort and prosperity which
were manifest on all sides.
* * *
SEPTEMBER 23, 1921
(Sorry, there is no copy of
this edition of The Huron
Expositor on microfilm).
SEPTEMBER 27, 1946
Increased entries in every
department and a record
attendance featured Scaforth
Fall Fair on Thursday and
Friday. The Fair was official-
ly opened on Friday by J.A.
Carroll, Superintendent of
Fairs. J.M. Govenlock, presi-
dent of thc Agricultural
Society, and W. H. Golding,
M.P., also spoke briefly. The
ceremony which took place
before the grandstand, fol-
lowed a parade of school
children.
McKILLOP NEWS - Mr.
Arthur Sullivan left last week
for England where he will
join his wife and family.
Rev. W.A. McWilliams and
Mrs. McWilliams, of
Cromarty, visited with Mr.
and Mrs. Charles Eggert on
Sunday.
Miss Audrey Kennedy left
on Tuesday for Galt where
she has secured employment.
Mr. and Mrs. Wm. Koehler
visited on Sunday with Mr.
and Mrs. Andrew Steinacher
at Stratford.
JURY ACQUITS WOMAN
OF MURDER - Mrs. Ella
Martha Rose was acquitted of
the charge of murder at the
fall assizes of the Supreme
Court of Ontario at Goderich
Tuesday night. The jury
brought in the verdict of "not
guilty" after deliberating for
over two hours.
Mrs. Rose was charged
with the murder of her 17 -
day -old baby, Sheila Rose, on
or about May 25, 1946. Mr.
Justice G.A. Urquhart was
presiding, while Crown
Attorney D.E. Holmes was
special Crown prosecutor,
and F.R. Darrow was counsel
for Mrs. Rose.
Members of the petit jury
that tried the case were:
Robert Purvis, farmer, RR 2
Lucknow; Harold Adams,
farmer, Londesboro; Thomas
Appleby, farmer, RR 2
Seaforth; Samuel Appleby,
Blyth; Graham Arthur,
garage operator, Exeter; W.C.
Bennett, merchant, Walton;
Garnet Cummings, laborer,
Wingham; William Dodds,
farmer, RR 1 Seaforth;
Arthur Haugh, farmer.
Dashwood; Harvey Hunking,
farmer, RR 1 Auburn; Rod
McDonald, farmer.
Dungannon; Solomon
Shannon, farmer. RR I
Scaforth.
SEPTEMBER 30, 1971
Preparation of a master plan
to suggest the increased ser-
vice which Seaforth
Community Hospital may
offer the district it serves has
been approved by the Ontario
Hospital Services
Commission. Cost of the
study is estimated at $6,00(
of which the commission
pays two-thirds.
Thc study will include a
review of recommendations
contained in the role study as
they affect , Seaforth
Community Hospital and
consider thc effects that may
flow from changes in service
to be offered in Clinton and
Mitchell.
* * *
St. Columban blanked the
London German Canadians
5-0 in a London and District
Soccer League Ist Division
game played in Scaforth on
Saturday. St. Columban came
up with one of their hest
gamcs of the season as they
controlled play throughout
the game, giving thc German
team little chance of mount-
ing any serious offensive'
threats.