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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1995-08-02, Page 6[Call Jett Tyndall gORALL YOUR� BLUEWATER CLEANINGCABINETS & TRIM LTD. NEEDDS.S.....STEAMATIC. lhr n.A. k.m sr.", •Carpets •Couches & Chars •Fine & Water Restoration •Vehicles •Duct Work •Accoustical Ceilings -Indian Carpets .Odour Problems 'RES (between ME DO NOT \527-1224 7.8 a m) mow sOIXST' 4 r For Quality and Service SHOP THESE LBUSINESSES_A 6 -THE HURON EXPOSITOR August 9. 1995 We're all ambassadors...I'm abed one At the top of the world, perched precariously on the side of a mountain overlooking Italy's most pristine and precious lake, sits the Hotel Zanzanu. Like a sentry sitting watch over Lake Garda, the hotel Zanzanu is surrounded on three sides by vineyards and cherry orchards with a lakeside view of tiny mountain villages across the water, the Dolomites off in the distance, the Alps even higher and further to the north. The Hotel Zanzanu is managed by Mr. Zambiasi. Yes, I know what youre thinking -- if they had a head waiter named Zoro and a big -breasted table dancer named Zsa Zsa -- we could call the place Club Zed. I had the pleasure of a one- week stay at the Hotel Zanzanu in May playing tennis, stealing cherries and travelling around Lake Garyla on a slow ferry that stops at all the towns from Desenzano in the south to Riva in the north. I had only planned to staya couple of days but it took one whole week to figure the damn place out. Somehow the word got out that 1 was a writer and a meeting was hastily arranged to get my opinion on how to attract Canadian tourists to the Garda area because -- and I hope you're sitting down for this one -- PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES ACTUALLY RESPECT WRITERS. (I didn't let on that my particular field of expertise was making fun of my ex-wife's brother, my mother and my cat. If you go there, please keep this information to yourself. That and the part about me owning Air Canada. Thank you.) After being tossed out of a Cuban cemetery six months go for making weiny jokes about a bunch of dead Bacardis, I've tried hard to be a better tourist, wearing my little Canadian flag pin with pride and anything that didn't have mustard stains on it. So I was determined to make a good impression at this summit which was chaired by the gracious and engaging Senor Zambiasi and sponsored exclusively by Campari and ice. So there's me, Mr. Zambiasi, a happy-go-lucky guy who I know to be the hotel plumber, and Gian Peitro Chiesa the marketing manager for the local hotel association and a man who looks exactly like Leonardo da Vinci's illegitimate great, great, great, grandson, . Johnny. 1 begin the meeting by complimenting Mr. Collini on the great job he's been doing on the water pipe near the tennis court, when Mr. Zambiasi informs me that Senor Collini is in fact the owner of the hotel. "1 love a man who does his own plumbing," 1 added quickly, but everybody just stared at the table. Senor Collinnl begins to tell me about the legend of Zanzanu, a 16th century pirate who stole from the rich and... "Like Mr. Zambiasi was saying..." I interrupted him to let him know I'd already been told the story but Mr. Collini only understood the first couple of words in English. He immediately turned to Gian Pietro and said: "Senor Zambiasi is steulin� from me?" I admit, this wase , much of a recovery from the umber crack. First a translator and now a referee, Gian Pietro jumped in to calm everybody down. If you ever wonder why the United Nations doesn't work, sit down sometime and conduct a four-way conversation using bits and parts of three languages. Anyway I finally got to table the special requests on behalf of all Canadians travelling to the Hotel Zanzanu. Light .beer. "Light beer!?!" they asked. "Yes," I said, "take all that wonderful German and Italian beer, water it down, but charge us the same price. It's . a Canadian tradition." Television sets .at each end of the bar with non-stop sports. "But it's a quiet bar with classical music playing!" they said. "Perfect" I replied. "Crank up the volume, turn the sound off on the television sets and put a juke box in the corner blaring out mostly country and western tunes." It's ow way. "And put 50% OFF signs all over the place." "Cut our prices by half?" they asked. "No! Leave your prices exactly as they are," I said. "Just put 50% OFF" signs everywhere. Canadians will pay full price as long as they think they're getting a deal." "A Canadian tradition?" they asked. Boy, these guys were learning fast. A few other innovations I was ale to negotiate on your behalf e horseshoe pits in the vineyard, jet skis in the pool and more stealable toiletries in the room. You're welcome. The meeting ended shortly after they asked me what Canadians thought of Italian politics. I told the story about the Italian cabinet minister, who while leaving for lunch, tells his secretary that if the prime minister calls, to take a message, then, as an afterthought he sticks his head back in the door and says: "And get his name!" This went over very well. Then they asked me about the best Canadian political joke. I said at the moment it was Lynn McLeod. I don't think they got it. For (real) information on Garda and the Hotel Zanzanu call 1-800-455-5637. Time running out before big event by JEAN ROSS Is the baking in the freezer? Are the beds changed? Time is running out! The Homecoming headquar- ters got moved early Saturday morning to Stewart Bros. store, where you can pick up your name tags on Thursday night (6-9). If you are in town please get in as soon as you can. There have been more than 2000 registered.' That's a great d of name tags_to hand out. Pr-regis oil ': was closed August l yds i let ):'You can still register, beginning Thurs- day night (6-9) until Saturday at 5 p.m. There will be transportation available from four designated parking areas on Saturday from 10-6. and Sunday 9-6. The parking areas are (11 St. James - corner of Goderich St. E. and Coleman St., the former Wright and Leybourne Transport prop- erty previous to that the Hesky flax property, (just a bit of history!); (2) the north side of the railroad right of way (south of the bowling green) previou§- ly the railroad station property; (3) Seaforth public school; (4) Sills property at the west end of Duke St. behind Progressive Turf, previously the 'boot factory'. There will be a route posted at headquarters. The parade co-ordinator request no parking on Main St. between 1- 4 on Sunday, leaving room for the spectators and parade par- ticipants. It's going to be a BIG parade. If any seniors get weary on Saturday and are looking for a place to sit down, the upstairs hall will be open at the Legion from 2-5 p.m. The coffee will be on. • A word of advice regarding the beef BBQ on Saturday at the community centre from 4:30 - 7. It's recommended that you get there early, the hall has to be ready for the variety show at 7:30, so they will be removing the tables at 7. There will be tables outside and 'take-outs' are available. You can also get_ 'take-outs on Sunday at the Ladies Auxiliary Beef Dinner, and the smoked pork chop dinner at the Com- munity Centre. There was a clown workshop last week in town, so you will see the results of that on par- ade day. Who would have thought we'd need a clown workshop in Seaforth? The golfers are included in the celebrations too. The Seaforth Golf Club is hosting a 'closest to the hole' competi- tion from July 31 to August 6 as part of the festivities. Closest to the pin will be attempted 130 yards from the hole. Golf balls can be pur- chased in the pro -shop for a loonie' or 12 for $10. Prizes will be awarded the 10 closest to the hole. Proceeds go toward junior golf. The committee appreciate the • way the town has 'come alive' with decorated stores and homes. If any of you saw Gary Osborne running in circles around a pole, he's O.K., he was just decorating the poles. The committee is beginning to fade a little like the flags flying on Main St., but like the flags, will keep flying 'til the week- end is over. Murray Dale says he has a full complement of antique cars, many local ones, for the car show at the High school grounds on Sunday. There will be live entertain- ment, the Seaforth-Dashwood Brass Band, at the Van Egmond House breakfast. Sunday morning 8-1. There is a possibility that we'll have a video of the parade, which will be available to order for future remembering. We're sure Bill Pinder is smiling down on us and hope- fully has some influence with the weatherman. However, rain or shine, it will be a memor- able time for homefolk and 'homecomers'. Have fun! All Deposits Insured Within Umlts Rates subiect To Verification ;350% 5 YEAR RRSP 6•66. 2TW 2701026/ 5. v" 10 Ory Conk Annual Wri GOON D li roup Elliott niGentre CentElliott9. Mau, Investment & Tax Planning Secure Investment Products ... from people you can trust SUMMER HOURS: 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM SEAFORTH 96 Main St. _ 527-0420 MASS TIME CHANGES Beginning Saturday, August 5, 1995 St. Columban Highway 8 Saturday 8 p.m. (no 5 p.m.) Sunday 9:30 a.m. St. James Seaforth Sunday 11 a.m. (no Saturday night Mass) For further Information call 345-2411, 527-0142 l4 STRATF9RD'S ANNUAL WESTERN ONTARIO Anfln SIiow 'v ale Stratford Arena, Lakeside Drive STRATFORD, ONTARIO STAR STUDDED GRAND OPENING • FRIDAY I I A.M. AUGUST 4 -AUGUST 7 1995 FRIDAY TO.SUNDAY 1 lam. to epm. MONDAY 1 lam. to 6pm. ADMISSION S3. STAHLKE SATELLITE SYSTEMS Satellite Systems • Home Security OH Air Antennas TV & Stereo Systems Economical Financing JOHN STAHLKE 25 McGregor St Ph & Fax Stratfad, Ontario 519E 2714982 N4Z 1G6 W.D. HOPPER AND SONS 4 Modern Rotary Rigs NEIL DURL 522-1737 271.7880 It * RI/1lAa111AR *TER MARMITES ON IN nal sEICEt116 MERE HOPPER min DEMUR FLON4' Brick, Block, Stonework, Chimney Repairs, Fireplaces, Pointing Call 152-0208, 527-2891, 522-0514 SILLS HOME HARDWARE Eli 527-1620 Professor Purewater Available... 'You Just can't make It any better" .Paint •Housewares -0itts Pluniti' g Heating Electrical *Glass & Screening Repairs •T 'Nome of the Nandymen• 69 Main Strast, Seeforth 1 •••Illt miff 1�.61♦� Lie IOtaten & Bathroom Cabinets .Wall Units •Mllwork •Computer Design . •Pre -finishing •Tum & Doors •Paslode Distributor ASK ABOUT 5 year guarantee OFFICE 6 SHOWROOM HOURS 9005:00 MON ..FRI. AFTER HOURS BY APPOINTMENT FOR ESTIMATES CAU. STEVE 482.3382 89 DON STREET, CUNTO �£:.i✓�9xfF2Yry:�E'-0�l%Nk�.'L!^ig''.k'sr:>3:rci�:::'�.�s.>.:"<�'ss?>.'t.: t JIM ANDERSON 1" -1stt1 TREE MOVING SERVICE 523 Call Evenings Please -4894 Trees bought and Sold .,r iia-ra,..•u WADI RGO4 LAI 111111 a4 R. PLAN OF THE WEEK PLAN NO. U-857 FAMILY HOME SUITS SHALLOW LOT BY M. TYNAN , Copyright 1994 At only 4T-4" deep, this charming two storey is sure to fit on a variety of building lots. A fashionable living room features a cosy fireplace and a bayed out window seat, and the dining room has a space -saving boxed out area for the hutch. An open plan for the kitchen and family room creates a country kitchen style atmosphere complete with a bay window, and a cosy fireplace. The cook in the family will enjoy plenty of cupboard and counter space, a work island, and a pantry. Upstairs, the front right bedroom features a boxed out window seat. The master boasts a walk-in closet and a four piece ensuite with a raised swirl tub. Plans for U-857 may be obtained for 5375.00 for a package of five complete sets of working prints and 534.00 for each additional set of the same plan. Allow 515.00 extra to cover the cost of postage and handling (B.C. residents add applicable sales tax to pian total) (All Canadian residents add 7% OST to plan total plus postage and handling). This is one of out new designs. Many innovative plans are now available in our NEW 30th edition plan catalogue for 313.85 including postage and handling and 7% OST. Please make all cheques, money orders; and Visa or MasterCard authorizations payable to: Tynan Features c/o. The Huron Expositor Plan of the Week, 13659. 108 Avenue, Surrey, B.C., V3T 214. s� MO as PT. TOTAL ROOM ASA 1•T/ R. 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