HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1995-07-12, Page 5•
OP-ED PAGE
Enjoy yourstay at Lunacy Manor_
Let's see - I got the ten-gal-
lon pail of Tums, a trunk full
• of crossword puzzles and the
bran muffins are stacked on
pallets in. the basement - "Okay
Mom, I'll pick you up in
twenty minutes!"
"No, Mom. - not plenty of
minutes - let's be a little more
exact. Twenty! Twenty min-
utes!"
My mother - owns a four
Y hundred dollar hearing aid
which she keeps in her change
purse. This precludes any
meaningful conversation
between us but it's neat
because if you yell really loud
into her purse you can see the
loons on theone dollar coins
put their wings up over their.
ears.
Yes, my mother Margaret is
coming to my place for a ten-
day visit because my sister
Gail, she shares an apartment
with her, was last seen heading
for the United States lips
quivering and mumbling about
hollow -points, clips and getting
even with some people in a
post office down there.
So I pick her up at her apart-
ment and the first thing I have
to do is assure all her friends
in the lobby that no, she's not
- moving out, she simply prefers
to bring all her clothes to my
place and thcn wear all of
them, all at once, as kind of
subtle hint for me to turn up
the heat in this the hottest July
since forest fires used to rage
through downtown Toronto.
As we crawl out of the
parking lot with the frame of
my Honda Civic scraping the
pavement, the kinfolk yelled,
"Jed, move away from, here:"
They said Californy is the
place I oughtta be.
Next we pass Tim Horton
Donuts and my mother tells me
the same story she tells me
evertime we pass,a Tim Horton
Donuts shop.
It's become a family parable
illustrating the pride we
Thomases have in our young,
particularly Amanda, Marg's
great granddaughter and the
last- tine I looked, our only
young.
1
"In honour of my
•
mother's
visit...nobody mooned
us.',
"Can you believe how smart
that child is, Bill? - Marg
begins. "we went by here the
other day and when she saw
the sign she said: "Do -no: Nan:
Do -no:" I agree immediately
that this kid is a genius, not
lettingthe fact that she's in
second year journalism at
Carleton take the sheen off the.
essence of the story. (Okay, the
kid's four and just for the
record when she passed a
Ponderosa, she also goes:
"M000"
On the outskirts of town we
pass a business that always
catches Margaret's eye for the
-sheer number of vehicles
parked in front and she always
says: "Boy they're doing well
there. Must be some sale,
dear."
And -I nod and say: "some
sale alright." But what I really
want to do is ask her if she
thinks it's just a coincidence
that the first two rows of
vehicles in that lot are '95 Ram
pick-up trucks with sticker
prices on the windshields.
What -I really want to do is
scream "It's a freakin' Dodge
Local servicemen return home
FROM THE PAGES OF
THE HURON EXPOSITOR,
JULY 19, 1895
John Shepherd, Reeve of
Tuckersmith, Robert Varley
and John Latta, left Hensall
Station for Liverpool, England.
. They sailed from Montreal in
the steamer, Lutherian, and Mr.
Shepherd took with hien a
carload of sheep . and five
carloads of cattle.
Rev. Peter Musgrove, of
McKillop, now has one of the
handsomest driving horses in
this disiriet. He bought it from
0. C. Willson.
Fred Cardno, son of
Alexander Cardno, of this
town, has gone to Mountain,
North Dakota and intends to
remain there.
* * *
Diptheria has brokcn out on
the 14th concession of
McKillop, but all cases are
doing well.
JULY 16, 1920
Miss Jefferson, Miss Crich
and Miss Ruth Thompson of
town are attending the summer
school at Alma College and
Miss Evelyn Adams and Miss
Mary Hays are attending a
similar school at Geneva Park,
Couchiching.
* * *
Andrew Y. Hall, Union Stock
Yards, was here superintending
the shipping of six cars of
some of the finest cattle ever
delivered at this station. The
shipment consisted of 112
head; 76 were purchased from
W. J. Devereaux of
Tuckersmith and 36 were fed
by Thomas McMillan of
Hullett. A total of $23,900 was
realized and were purchased
through the well-known dealer,
P. A. O'Sullivan.
* **
J. E. Willis has disposed of
the Strand Theatre to John
Pullman, who now has pos-
session.
* * *
Misses Dorothy Wilson,
Helen Dickson and Mary
Edmunds of town have suc-
cessfully passed their exams at
the Faculty of Education,
Toronto.
* * *
Messrs. James Graves and
Mulkern of London have about
completed very extensive alter-
ations and improvements to the
interior of St. James' Church,
Scaforth.
• **
An interesting event in the
history of the Egmondville
Presbyterian congregate n took
place in connection with the
laying of the oomer stone of
the new church which is being
erected as a memorial to those
who gave their lives in
freedom's cause. Mrs. George
Laidlaw, the oldest member of
the Egmondville congregatign,
placed coins and copies of Ole
current periodicals of the Pres-
byterian Church.
n the Years Agonev
JULY 20, 1945
Seaforth boys were returned
on the Letitia and Ile de France
which docked at Halifax, were
W.O. G.S. Habkirk, Fred E.
Willis, Gordon Regele and R.
0. MacTavish.
At an investiture in
Buckingham Palace, Capt. F. I.
Archibald, son of Mr. and Mrs.
W. R. Archibald, Tuckersmith,
was one of the group to
officers decorated by King
George.
***
Donald Wilson, 10 -year-old
son of Mr. and Mrs. A. Wilson
of Egmondville, suffered seri-
ous head injuries when he fell
down a hide -shute onto a
cement floor in the Jackson
.Tannery.
* * *
L/Cpl. A. S. Leybourne
returned home aboard the liner
'Queen Mary' for a 30 -day
leave, after which he will take
advanced training before pro-
ceeding to the Pacific theatre
of war.
JULY 16, 1970
Ronald C. Sills, lawyer,
Kitchener, was one of five
people to receive the Vanier
award at the Canada Jaycees
National C rivention in Regina
on Monday.
A feature of the recent senior
banquet at Huron Centennial
School was the presentation of
awards to a number of stu-
dents. These included:
French: Beth Broome,
Egmondville; runner-up,
Audrey . • Gingerich; Music:
Audrey Gingerich, Zurich;
runner-up, Randy • Wilson,
Brucefield. High academic boy:
Brian Finnigan, Egmondville;
runner-up, Jack Porter, Clinton.
Conservation Authority
your local environmental partner
✓Check inid
conservaiidn areas
Visit the following Conservation Areas
Clinton TCrediton Lucan Morrison Dam
Park 'II 'if Port Blake if Port Franks 1' Rock Glen
if The ord 1' Zurich
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Treed, grassed campsites
Serviced sites, hot showers
Fishing, swimming & nature trads
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if Port Blake Conservation Area
if Morrison Dam Conservation Area
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it Morison Dam Conservation Area*
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dealership Mom" But I don't
because it's only the first fif-
teen minutes of a ten-day
sleepover and I know my sister
Gail has left false phone num-
bers all over town so -she can
never be.rea hed.
When we get to my place the
first thing my mother does is
greet Waggie by calling him
Tiger, the name of her cat. He
cocks his head, waiting for the
correction which comes
immediately: "Oh, sorry
Malcolm" That's it for Waggie.
He disappears into the base-
ment vowing not to come up
until he hear luggage leaving.
Actually we had a great time
together including breakfast
outside every morning and a
field trip to the Belmont Hotel
for draft beer and chicken-in-
the-basquet, where - by phon-
ing ahead and making a special
request in honour . • of my
mother's visit nobody
mooned us. -
We love you Marg, but I
have a bit of bad news.
You know how - Gail, Joan
and I have always vowed that
you - would never go to
a...ho...ho...(can - barely bring
myself to say the word) home.
Well, Mom, I'm afraid you
should start preparing yourself
now to spend at least some
time in a...a...you know what.
Because once the three of us
are permanently settled in
Lunacy Manor, we'd sure like
it if you came and visit us once
in a while.
THE HURON EXPOSITOR, July 12, 11195 5
❑OGoOGGG�GG6lOGOvr7
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Firewood
Hard Maple or Ash
SLABWOOD
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Delivered within 20 miles
Mileage charge Beyond That
Lame Quantity Discounts When You Haul!!!
Cr ilg Hardwoods Ltd.
Aube, . nt. S19-526-7220
SWEET CHERRIES
STARTING JULY 5
Pitting machine available for your convenience.
`Bring your own Containers'
•Pick Your Own or Ready Picked (for larger orders please phone ahead)
•Montmorency Red - starting approximately July 14
-Pails of Pitted Cherries (orders taken now, ready middle of July)
kev,We are open for all seasonal fruit
PLUMS, PEACHES, GRAPES, PEARS and APPLES
828-3074 J l l l�
828-3888
ORCHARDS
Open 7 Days
a week
ROCK GLEN ROAD, ARKONA CHRIS and JOANNE MEAD
SIDEWALK
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IN CLINTON
THIS THURSDAY, FRIDAY & SATURDAY
July 13, 14, 15
Great Savings! Great Selection!
The following downtown Clinton
businesses invite you....
• My Fair Lady • Meyers Home Hardware
• The Dutch Store • Crossroads
• B&M Fine Furniture • No Kidding
Wuerth Shoes • 'Heywoods
• R & L Sportswear •Impressions of Colour
• Verbeek's Farm & Garden Centre
• Clinton Commercial Printers Limited