The Huron Expositor, 1995-02-22, Page 57Wednesday, February 22, 1995 -PAGE I7D
Whatyou don't want to hear when thepartys over..
"Toasts should be filled
with anecdotes that are
revealing — not
embarrassing."
"I hate when the waiter
removes my plate before I'm
finished eating. You get up
for a minute and it
disappears!"
"I wish relatives who can't
sing wouldn't perform."
It's easy to get wedding
guests talking when they're
asked about their biggest
gripes. Although certain
circumstances are beyond
the couple's control, some
(often avoidable) situations
may leave guests with a
bitter taste.
What wedding guests
appreciate and detest:
• Table traumas: Guests
resented the 'traffic jam'
created by people crowding
to find their table card.
Unmarrieds attest to the
awkwardness of both an all -
singles table where everyone
is a stranger and 'single
Siberia' — being seated at
an 'all -couples' table and left
alone when the twosomes
get up to dance.
The consensus: Tables
should be a mix of couples
and singles, at least some of
whom know one another.
• Music mayhem: It's too
loud when you're trying 40
talk, too soft when you try to
dance. or worse, you hear
the band playing at the
party next door.
One likeable musical
element: ethnic or very
lively dances.
• Bright lights, big
Sending 'Thank -you' notes
• Every wedding gift you receive should be followed by a
thank -you note, even if you have thanked the giver in
person.
♦ It is appropriate to send a thank you note as soon as
possible. The note should be sent within two weeks for gifts
received before the wedding, and one month for those
received at the wedding or later.
• It's best to keep up with the thank you notes as gifts are
received, so you aren't totally buried in owed
correspondence.
A printed card letting the giver know the gift has been
received can be sent if you are too busy, or have a large
number of gifts to acknowledge. This card should be
followed as soon as possible with a hand-written note.
Your thank -you notes should always be signed with your
maiden name if sent before the wedding and your married
name after the wedding (unless you are keeping your
maiden name).
♦ Most thank -you notes are written by the bride. They can
be signed by the couple or may be signed only by the bride
when she has mentioned her groom's name in the note.
However, there is nothing that says thank -you notes must
be written only by the bride, so enlist the help of your
groom. Have him write notes to his family members or close
friends.
♦ When thanking a married couple, address the note to both
of them. You may address the note only to the wife if you
also refer to her husband in the body of the note.
V When a joint gift is given by your bridesmaids, an
individual note to each should be sent. However, if a joint
gift is given by a large group of employees or club members,
one thank you note addressed to the group would be
appropriate.
Who sits where?
Musical chairs is a great game to play at birthday parties
for kids.
But it's not any fun at weddings.
Haphazard seating does not work at most receptions. The
organized bride would be wise to have place cards at
guests' tables. Try to arrange a mix 'n' match at each table,
of singles and marrieds, people who know each other and
those guests who don't know another soul.
Buffet -style receptions do not require formal seating
arrangements. However, if the reception features a 'sit-
down' meal, a seating chart and place cards help things
run smoothly.
headaches! Photographers
and videographers: guests
advise you to capture the
moment and fade into the
background.
• Waiting - and wilting: The
receiving line gives guests a
chance to share in the
occasion, but it can also
mean a long wait, especially
at large weddings.
Waiters with hors
d'oeuvres and drinks could
'walk the line,' quenching
guests' thirst and keeping
them from worrying they'll
1
miss the cocktail hour.
• Invitation faux pas: A
breach of etiquette
committed by some couples
is to print or engrave the
registry location on the
wedding invitation.
One guest got what she
considered the ultimate in
tackiness: a letter from a
store where the bride and
groom had registered,
saying, "We hope we can
accommodate your gift
needs," tucked into her
invitation.
What are some surefire
ways to host a reception that
will be fondly remembered?
Add personal touches that
reflect the couple's
uniqueness — a well-
prepared toast (never an
embarrassing roast),
personalized wedding favors
(small engraved silver
frames encasing guests' table
cards, for example) and
unusual centerpieces are
much appreciated.
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