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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Times, 1916-01-20, Page 7• jam aty 2oth, 19t6 4•11.1110111., i Freckles. BY Gene Stratton - Porter Copyright 1904, by Doubleday, Page & Co, IMEM111111.1111111=11111116401= .71 pissee:meesasellAnnemonsimeleemoissiitessleeemat SYNOPSIS. Freckles, a homeless boy, Is hired by Boss McLean to guard the expensive tim- ber in the Limberlost from timber thieves. Freckles does his work faithfullY, makes friends with the birds and yearns to know more about nature. He lives with Mr. and Mrs. Duncan. --fro resolves -fa get books and educate himself. fie becomes interested In a huge pair of' vultures and calls his, bird friends his "chickens." Some at the trees be Is guarding are , worth $1,000 each. Freckles' books arrive. Be receives a call from Wessner.. Wessner aftennits to bribe Freckles to betray his trust, and Freckles Whips him. McLean overhears them and witnesses the tight. Freckles' honesty saves a precious tree. lie finds the nest of the vultures and is visited Lw a beautiful young girl. She calls FreeetasMeLeatetnetai.-Freckles calls her "the angel" and helps the Bird Woman In taking photographs. McLean premises to adopt Freckles. Fieekles ali'd the 'angel become very friendly, Assisted by the Bird Woman, they drive Wessner and Black Jack, thn- ber thieves, from the Limberlost. McLean, fears more trouble, but Freckles insists upon being the hole guard of the timber, Freckles calls upon tho angers. father TE:71fte Woman The angels -again • ehilt Freckles. and Freckles fails in love with the angel. The angel kisses him. Freckles is bound and gagged by Black 'Jack's gang, and the timber thieves start felling a very valuable tree. Wessner is to Idli Freckles after the tree is stolen. The angel makes a daring effort to save Freckles and the tree.. McLean's men, notified by the angel, rush to save Freckles All the timber thieves except Black Jack are raptured. Freeetes guaros the ''.117.01-71gaInst-Slacit Jack's vengeance ile tells McLean of his hopeless love for 1110 angel Black Jack Is killed by a rattleenates The Bird Woman gets 0 photogrhph of the baby vulture. Freckles and the angel fInd a valuable tree. The / 'Pe falls. and in an effort to save 'the ar-el rroin death Freeicies Is streets and •re badly Injured He appears to be cly Th( •ngel learns that her love alone will 0 hint She stifles her pride a..S pram •Ilv proposes marriage to him. r"-Zr reriPsyg becat, ite is homeless and natneless. The Angel ...,trns that Lord O'More of Ireland fs•serking hi'', lost nephew. She ands Lord and Lady O'More, proves that Pi eeit les is the lost boy and tells Freckles about his parents. Fre, les is heir to an Irish estate. The angel rather consents to her engagement 10 Fre, kles. McLean fears he has lost Freckles Fre los deckles to educate himself and to remain with his sweetheart, his bene. factor, McLean, and the Bird Woman near the 1.1mberlest. "Poi Um lovo ot UF. Me little motto ee he panted, "dia you met v that , Did you hear it't 1 'Ii me, alit I living or am 1 dead aim neaven COMP true this 111111111A? 01(.1 you hear tit? Von ate on a pictured face, and. Cot, course yon I b:t 0 1 k. hut the soul of yon must be somewhere, and sure- ly in this hour pm are near enOugti to be hearing. Ten we. did you hear than can't ever pe telling a !intuit soul; but, darling tittle mother, .that gave emit tife Mr mime L can alweys Suffered Awfully FROM BILIOUS HEADACHES.' When the liver becomes sluggish and inactive the bowels become constipated, the tongue becotnes coated, the stomach foal end bilious headaches are the upiatot. Milburri's Laxa-Liver Pills wilt stimu- late the sluggish liver, clean the foul - coated tongae, do away with the stomach gases and banish the disagreeable bilious headaches. Mrs. C. Kidd, Sperling, B.C., writes: "I have used Milhuniaa Laxa- Liver Pills for bilious headaches, t suffered eavfully until I started to take them. They were the only thing that ever (lid me any eoorl. I neva have ney bilitets headache aes n%!." Laea-Liver Pala are 2.5c per vie!, 5 visit( £r,rfi 1.00, at all dealers, or triaileec:i.; t oi reenpt of price by The maul.12 Co., Limited, Toronte, Ont. be tail -Et -rig ft65tif Ever -iv -ay %veal talk It over and try to under- stand the miracle of ft. Tell me, are all women like that Were you like me Swamp Angel? It you were then I'm understanding why me father fol- lowed across the ocean and went into the fire after you. . Freckles' voice trailed oat, his eyes dropped shut, and his bead rolled back from sheer exhaustion. Later in the day he Insisted on seeing Lord and Lady ()More, but be tainted before the look ot MS own face on that ot another man. The next morning the man of af- fairs, with a beam tilled with misgiv- ings, undertook the Interview on which Freckles insisted. His fears, were without cause. Freckles was the sole ot honor and simplicity "Have they been telling you wbat's ren try come to me?" he asked without e waiting tor a greeteng. "Yes,", said the angel's fattier. "Do you think you have the v worst ot it clear to your understan ing?" Under Freckles' earnest eyes t nem et ettairs answerea soberly, "t think 1 have, Mr. O'More."' That was the first time Freckles heard hia name from the lips of ane er- hisd. other man. One second lie lay ov come, the next great tears tilled .' eyes, and he reached out bis han Then tC angel's father understood. It ne th and he clasped that hand and held in a strong, arm grasp. "Terence, my boy," he said. "let i do the talking. I came in here wi the understanding that you wanted to Id erll ask me for my only .child. I shou like, at the proper time, to regard b martiage, If she has found the man she desires to marry, not as losing a I have. but as gaining a man 1 eau depend on to love as a son and to take charge of my affairs for her when I retire from business. Bend all of your energies toward rapid recovery; and from this hour understand that my daughter and my home are yours." "You're not forgetting this?" Freckles lifted his right arm. "Terence, I'm sorrier than I have Words to express about that," said the man of' affairs. "But if it's up to me to choose whether I give all 1 beet, left in this world to a man with a hand off Ms body or to one of these gambling, tippling, immoral spend- thrifts of today, with both bands and feet ote their souls and a rotten spot In the core. I choose you, and it seems that my daughter does the same. Put what is left you of that right arm to the best uses you can in this world, and never again mention or feel that It is defective as long as you live. Good day, sari" "One minute more," said Freekles. ."Yesterday the angel was telling me that there was money conning to me trom two seams. She said that me grandmother had left me father all of her fortune and her house because she knew that his, father would be cutting him off, and that me uncle bad also met aside for me what would be me father's Interest in his father's estate. "Whatever the sum Is that me grandmother left me father, because she loved him and wanted him to be having it. that I'll be taking. "rwae hers from her father, and she had the right to be giving it as she chose. Any- thing from the man that knowingly left me father and me mother to go cold and hungry and into the lire in misery when just a little would bave made life so beautiful to them and saved the this crippled body -money that he willed from me when he knew I was living, of his blood mad on char- ity among strangers, I don't'toueh, not If I freeze, starve and burn tool If there ain't enough besides that and I can't be earning enough to fix things for the angel" - "We are not distussing money!" THE WINGHAM TIMES diode:is to get acgriabited "with him We'll turn him over to then3 and g home. When he Is well, why, then h Will be lieafectly free to go to 'relent) or come to the Llmberlost, just as he chooses. We will go right away." McLean bore It for a week, and the he could stand It no longer, Commun Mg with himself in the long, soundfu nights of tbe swamp, he had "Marne to his astonishment that for tbe lee year bis heart had been circling th Limberlost with Freckles. He started for Chicago, loaded wit a big box ot goldenrod, asters, fringe gentians anti (TIMOR leaves that tilangel bad carefully gathered fo Freckles' room, and a little, ton slender package. He would not ad mit It even to himself, but he was un able to remain longer away fro Freckles and leave him to the ear of Lord O'More.In a few minutes' talk, while Mc Lean waited admission to Freckles room, hie lordship had genially chat ted or Freckles' rapid recovery, of hi delight that tie was unspotted by hi early surroundings and his desire t visit the Limberlost with Freckles be fore they Sailed. He said they wer anxious* to do all they could to bel bind Freckles' arrangements with the angel, as both he and Lady O'More regarded her as the most promising girl tbey knew and one that could be fully fitted to fill the high position in which Freckles would place her. Every word he uttered was pungent with bitterness to McLean. The swamp had lost Its flavor without Freckles, and yet as Lord O'More talked McLean fervently, wished that he was in the heart of iL All the tan and sunburn had been washed from Freckles' face in sweats of agony. It was a smooth, even white, its brown rift showing bu faintly. What the nurses and Lady O'More had done to Freckles' hair McLean could not guess, but it was the most beautiful that he had eve seen. Fine as floss, briglat In color waving and criep, it fell about the ,white face. 'They had got his arms into and his chest covered with a finely em broidered pale blue silk shirt, with soft white tie at the throat. Among the many changes that had taken place during his absence, the fact that Free Ides was most attractive and barely escaped being handsome remained al. most unnoticed by the boss, so great was his astonishment at seeing both cuffs turned back and the right arm In vlew. Freckles was using the maimed arm that heretofore he had al- ways hidden. "Oh, Lord. sir, but I'm glad to see you!" burst out Freckles, alinost rolling from the bed as he reached for him. "I'm picking the angel's ring stone that me Aunt Alice ordered. It's an emerald -just me color, Lord O'More says. Every color of the old swamp is in it. I asked angel to have a little shamrock leaf ent on it. so every time I saw it I'd be thinking of the love, truth, anff 'valor of that song she was teaching me. Ain't that a beautiful song?" Freckles tilted about a tray of unsel stones that would have ransomed sev- eral valuable kings. "1 teu you I'm glad to see you. Bin" • 111* Face Was Covered With Pimples, •••••," • Pimples are not a serious trouble, but ' they are very unsightly. I Pimples are caused wholly by bad blood, and to get rid of them it is neces- t eery to purify the blood of tiA its lin- e verities. Burdock Blood Bitters has made many h remarkable cures; the pimples have all d disappee:ed, and a bright, clean, com- e plexion left be.hind. r Mr. Lennox D. Cooke, Indian Path, l• tT.S., writes: "I am writing you a few lines to tell you what Burdock Blood Bitters has done for me. Last winter my ' face was covered with pimples. I tried m different kinds of medicine, and all e seemed to fail. I was one day to a friend's house, and there they advised me ▪ to use B.13.33„- so I purchased two bottles, and before I had them taken I found I was getting better. I got two more, • and when they were finished I was completely cured. I find it is a great s blood purifier, and I recommend it to all." O Burdock Blood Bitters has been on the • market for the past forty years, and is e • manufactured only by Tlie T. Milburn Co" Limited, Toronto, Ont. • "Freckles, may I a, thing?" he said. "Why. sure," Said Freckles. "There's nothing you would be asking that it wOuldn't be giving me joy to be telling you." McLean's eyes traveled to Freckles' right arm, with wince be WUS pushing the jewels about. "Oh, that!" cried Preekles with a merry laugh. You're wanting to know where all the bitterness is gone? Wen, sir, 'twits carried from me soul. t heart and body on the lips ot an an- gel. Seems that hurt was necessary in the beginning to make today come true. The wound had always been r raw, but the angel was healing it. if , she doesn't care, 1 don't May 1 be asking you a question? Well, then, if this accident and all that's come to me since bad never happened, what was • it you meant to do with me?" "Why, Freckles," answered McLean, "II figured on taking you to Grand Rapids and putting you in the care of my mother. I had an idea it would be best to get a private tutor to coach you for a year or two, until you were fit to enter Ann Arbor or the Chicago university in good shape. Then I thought we'd finish In this country at Yale or Harvard, and end with Oxford, to get a good all round flavor." Is that all?" asked Freckles. 'No; that's leaving the music out. I intended to have your voice tested. and he said. "I tried to tell the uncle what I wanted, but this ain't for him to be mixed up in, anyway, and I don't thiuk I made It clear to him. I can be telling you, sir. 1 told him that I would pay only $300 for the angel's stone. I'm thinking that with what he has laid up for me, and the bigness of things that the angel did for me, that seems like a stingy little sum to him. I know he thinks I ought to be giving a lot more, but I feel as if I just had to be buying that stone with money I earned meself, and that is all 1 have saved of me wages. I don't mind paying for the muff, or the dressing table, or Mrs. Duncan's things, from this other mon- ey, and later the angel can have every last cent of me grandmother's, if she'jl take it, but just now -oh, sir, can't you see that I have to be buying this stone with what I have in the bank?" "In other words. Freckles," saki the boss, "y4u don't want to buy the an- gel's ring with money. You 'want to give for it your first awful fear of the swamp. You want to pay for it with the loneliness and heart Ininger you have suffered there, with iast winter's freezing on the line and this summer's burning in the sun. Yell want the price of that stone to be the fears that have chilled yeer heart -the sweat and blood of your body." Freckles' face quivered with feeling. "Dear Mr. McLean," be said, reach- ing up with a caress over the boss' black hair and along his cheek. "Dear boss, that's why I've wanted you so. I knew you would know. Now you will be looking at these? I don't want emeralds. because that's what she gave Freckles heaped the Pearls with the emeralds. He studied the dlamends a long time. The diamonds joined the emeralds and pearls. There was left a little red heap, and Freckles` fingers touched it 'with a new tenderness. 'I'm thinking bere's ta angel's stone," he exulted. "The Limberlost, and me with it, grew in mine, but It's going to bloom. abd her with it, n this! There's the red of the wild opples, the cardinal flewers and the ttle bunch of crushed foxtire that we found Where she put it to save me. There's the light of the canip fire and the sen setting over Sleepy Snake creek. There`si the red of the blood we were willing to give for each Other. It's like her lips and like the drops that dried on her beauti- ful Mt that first day, and Pin think- ing it Must be; like the brave, tender, clean, red heart of her." Freekles lifted the ruby t� his lips and landed it to )1cLean. burst in the man of affairs. "We don't e Want any Wed Money! We Wive all we need witho t it. If yod don't feel right and easy bver it, don't you touch a cent of any Of it." "It's right should have what me grandmother intinded for me father, and I want it," said Freckles, "but ra die before I'd touch a cent of Inc grandfather's money!" "New," skid the Angel, "we are all going home. We bare done all we can for Vrecklea. Ills people are here. Ile needs to lipew them. They are very "DEAR BOSS, DEAR PATTIE/4 DON'T BE DO- ING TTIAT .f you really were endowed for a career as a great musician, and had inclinations that way, I wished to have you drop some of the college work and make music your elelef study. Finally, I wanted us to take a trip ove_r -Eau:am .and „clear. .around the OMMIRIMIRMIIIMAIRRORIMMR TheWretchedness of Constipation Can quickly Ls evestorae 17 CARTER'S LITTLI LIVER PILLS Purely vegetable -ulna* and gently on the liver. Cure Biliousness', Head. ache, Dizzi- ness, and Indigestion. They do their atty. Small Pile aznall Dose. Small Nee. Genuine mutt bear Signature -Q202rele 111 eirele Tolefffee - "And then what?" queried Freckles. breathlessly. "Why, then," said McLean, "you know that my heart is hopelessly In the woode. 1 will never quit the tim- ber business while there Is timber to handle and breath in my body, 1 thought if yoti.didn't rnake a proles. sion of music, andhad any inclination my way, we would stretch the partner. Ship one ram and takeyou into the 131F7nree1)111 al eesthgyol udr awnoxrikoulsvit.ialn7 e.e.' a' ger eyes to McLean. "You told me once on the trail, and again when we thought I was dying, that you loved me. Do these things that have come to me make any dif- fereanrce me" way with your feeling toward "None," said McLean. "Nothing could niake me love you more, and you will never do anything that will make Inc love you less." "Glory be to God!" burst out Freckles. "When I'm educated enough, we'll all -the angel and her father, the mod Woman, you, and me -will go together and see rue house and me relations and he taking that trip. When we get back. we'll add O'More to the lumber company, and golly, sir, but we'll make 'things hum! Good land. sir! Dou't do that! Why, Mr. McLean, dear boss, dear father, don't be doing that! What is it?" "Nothing, nothing!" boomed Me. I.ean's deep bass; "nothing at all!" [le abruptly turned away and hue ried to the window. c1This is a mighty fine view." he sa "III be glad to see Irelond," said Freckles, "but I ain't • ever staying long. All me heart is the angel's, and the Limberlost is calling every minute. "Me heart's all me Swamp Angel's, and tne love is all hers, anti A have het and the swamp so confused in me mind I never can be separating, them, When I look at her, I see blue sky, the sun rifting through tbe leaves and pink and red flowers. and when I look at the Limberlost I see 0 pink face with blue eyes, gold hair, and red lips, and, It's the truth, sir, they're mixed till they're cite to inel "I'm afraid it will be hurting some, but I have the feeling that I can he making my dear people nuderstand, so that they will be willing to let me come back home. Send Lady O'More to put these flowers God made in tbe place of these glasshouse ileganciee, and please be cutting the string of this little package tbe angel's sent me." As Freckles held up the package. the lights et the Limberlost flashed in the enientht on his finger. Ott tbe cover was printed: "To the Limberlost Guard!" tinder ft was a big, crisp, iridescent black feather. THE END. OPPORTUNITY. Don't nurse opportunity too. long. Take it into active partnershtp with you at once, lest it leave yon for other company. Peeling the Pulse. It is a popular error to think that t hit pulse may be felt only at the wrist. It may he felt in any superficial artery -for instance, at the temple, in kite neck or behind the tinkle, 011 the inner side. RCioted. "Will you share my portion?" nsittel the ppm. young man, "I fear. yours 10 1113' n half portion." said the girl gently, "you will heed it all for yourself." Yachting IZthics. In yaeht racing every yacht is honed by rules 10 abandon the eare am, go to the assistance of :my yacht or person in peril. Clothes a Guido. Beautiful dress is chiefly beau* (fel in color -in harmony or parts- • id in mode of putting 00 and weoring. itightness of mind is in nothhg mare shown than in the Mode of wearing simple clothes. It All Depended. aceilleninn who was spending a month in 1 he highlands or sootiond wont to hire a earring() for the purpose of tatting hie family for a drire, tle loniw/1 at a vehicle and ingtlired how many It would Ind. The hostler sera felled hie hood thought fully re- plied, "It 'muds roue generally, Inn Si itthey're weel aegimint."- rgonaut. The Pasha's Reply, An F.:Ie.-Hs:I traveler in the orient who wtes, pisyking tip molorial for a book asked. 11 pasha: "Is the civil servjee 110e ours? Are there retiring allow - neves and pensions?" "My illustrious friend." replied the 100110, ''ll 1111 is great. and the nubile Inuctionars who stands in need of 1110 tiring allowance When hiS t(rn) of of. (ice expires is a fool." CHILDREN. Children need our help. He who helps children helps humanity with a distinctness, with an iznme. diateness, which no other help given to human creatures M any other stage Of human lik can pos- sibly give again.—Phillips 13rooks. (as" " NRAAR.A.RA-fAAR mommusissmoommonsimmonons Children Cry for Fletcher's t. .... TO The Itind You Eu. -.7e A1vv4YS Bought, and which has been la use fOr Over 30 yeas, has borne the signature of allAll Counterfeits, Imitations and 64 Just -as -good." are but and has been made under his per.. ...arejekT'-.....e.;" s o ni oawl supervision oe ravel stioo :Very: .13t Ili Inf atnas . Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of Infants and Children -Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for CastorOit, Pare., goriet Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is eileasants It contains neither Opium, Morphine no othOr Narcotic Substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroTS Worms and allays Feverishness. For more than thirty years it has been in constant use for the relief of Constipation, Flatulency, 'Wind Colic, all Teething Troubles and. Diarrhoea: It regulates the Stomach and Bowels, assimilates the Food, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea -The Mother's Friend. GENUINE CASTOR IA ALWAYS Bears the Signature of In Use For Over 30 Years The Kind You Have Always Bought 'THE CENTAUR COMPANY, NEW YORK C.TY. MINESEREMESEMEMIESE ••=••••••••••••••••••m•••••••••••••••••••••••••••ammoranwror BREATHING IN THE WATER. WHEN THE BLOOD IS PURE. In Doing It Properly Lies the Secret el Success In Swimming. The way to avoid drowning, accord- ing to a swimming teacher, is to learn how to swine. Good swimmers don't drown. They might die of chill or stare° to death, but as for drowning - pooh! "How about cramps?" he was asked. "Even good swimmers have cramps." "Cramps needn't cause a moment's worry. I've seen thousands of good swimmers seized with cramps, and never a one was ()teemed. All they did was to turn over on their backs and either wait for help or paddle with their free limbs. I've never heard of a swimmer having cramps in both legs and arms. Even then his case would not be hopeless. "There never was a case of drowning that was caused by cramps. That may seem surprising after the countless water tragedies that have been blame() on cramps. Death in the water is caus- ed by chill or strangling. "People strangle to death because they are ignorant of the proper method of breathing. When they sinit beneath the water they hold their air passages shut. When they come to the top they have to breathe out the air they've used while under water. As breathing* Out takes fifty times as long as breath- ing in, they have no time to get a fresh supply of air before they go under again. This keeps up until they breathe In under the water and thus strangle to death. "The process should be reversed. Breathe in for the second you are above water; then breathe out through the nostrils while under the water, and You can keep it up nntil you starve to death. "Nine -tenths of swimming is breath- ing. and movement is only one-tenth," says the expert. Nuremberg. Nuremberg was once almost the rich- est and most famous town In Europe. The well known saying of Pope Pius II. that a Nuremberg citizen was bet- ter off than a Scottish kinwas justi- fied by the accounts that have been preserved of the town and its burghers. In- the fifteenth century there came from Nuremberg the first watchett. known as "Nuremberg eggs:" the first cannon, the first gun lock, the first wire drawing machine, the clarinet, certain descriptions of pottery and the art of painting on glass. For SOO years its walls defended the valley of the Pegnitz against all enemies. Four hun- dred towers once topped the walls. but only abotft a third of them now reniain. Children and Night Life. Night life militates against ehildrena; health and growth to a greater extent than has been realized. Overstimulation in place of rest an:I sleep, Whiell growing children need, tends to undermine even the strongest conetitutions. It needs no physiologist to perceive that the ravagee of night life help materially to reduce measure. tnents of weight. height and retest ene to weaten liesi rt. lunge and eyes, * Moreover, their educatiou enfterst Chil- dren who are out until midnight must report at setteel the next morning al- though tired and mentally dull. Night life destroys the Willits of Industry. Loitering nod Meting leeoinee rooted Intel it babit -Front "Ste ethend." Faecautien, I can't stay oet late tonight, boys. breadmaking night at bottle," "Don't tell us you have to make the bread, limpet:kr "It's not that, but the rolling pin is too Then Disease Germs Are Rarely Able to Infect Our Tissues. The popular notion that the prompt healing of a cut or other wound is an .evidence of purity of blood has a sound scientific basis. When Um skin is bro- ken germs in large or small numbers are thereby admitted to the sacred pre- cinctsof the tissues from which they are ordinarily excluded by the dense structure of the skin. When the tissues are maintained in a healthy state by pure and vigorous blood the few germs which enter are quickly destroyed, so that the formation of puS. or so called. suppuration, does not °min', but when. the blood is not pure, so that the serum and the cells are not able to make the necessary active defense, the germs grow and develop, suppuration occurs and the wound, if large. may refit/ire a long time to heal. We might represent this by picturing in our mind a glass globe filled wills water and fishes and other small crea- tures swimming about in it. Now im- agine that indigo, ink or coloring mat: ter of some other sort is dropped into the water. It will immediately become tinged, and if the coloring matter is of O poisonous chnracter the tishes will soon show uneasineas and UUICOS re- lieved by a replacctnent of the impure, water by a fresh supply will soon die. This is just the condition of the living cells of the body when bathed in im- pure blood. The stomach cells which secrete the gastric juice, the muscle cells which contract, the liver cells which make bile, the brain cells whiclt think -every one is definitely and seri- ously injured by the impurities brought in contact with it. Impure blood, then, must be regarded as the foundation 02 O large portion of all the diseases from which human beings suffer. -J. IL Eel. log,g, M. D.. in Good Health. Sending a Man to Coventry. The expression "sending to Coven- try" had a military origin. It arose, so It is said, in the days of Charles L, when the inhabitants of Coventry* strongly objected to any intercourse with the minters' quartered in their town, and a woman known to speak to a man in a scarlet cloak was at once the subject of a scandal. So rigid were the natives that the soldier was con- fined to the mess room for conversa- tion. Thus the term "sending a man to Coventry" if you wished to shut him from society took loot in the Ueglish language. -London Chronicle. Progress In Lunacy. A. few months ago, et a council meet - lug in a certain small town, a welt known alderman astonished the mem- bers by saying: "Gentlemen. we have been sending our lunatics to — asylmn for a long time now, end it has cost ns a great deal of inoney. but 1 am glad to be able to tell you that we have now bunt an asylem for ourseivee." Some Hope of Finish. "Which do you prefera preacher who preaches extemporaneous Sermons or a preacher who reads his eertnonea" asked Smith. "I prefer the preaeber who reads hie sermons," replied Brown. "Ito eau tell when he gets to the end of his ser- mon." A Fetal Omission. "This," said tile editor, "describes the Invention in geaphie style, but you haven't made it complete." "No," said the reporter. "No. You haven't said that it Is de tined to reeolutionfte the Indust*: