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Home My WebLink AboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 2009-07-01, Page 20Goderich Signal -Star, Wednesday, July 1, 2009 - Page A19 Country music festival causes localized- mini - Health officials have discov- so>na titles is: Moma Don't Lei Yp r IR. that :And� f�)11 Some define the battle of the sexes — A Woman With- out A Man Is Like A Fish .Without A Bicycle. Some songs -leave images in your mind — Her Teeth Were Stained But Her Heart Was Pure and If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You — that can only be erased, by a tattoo removal tool. ered a new side effect expert- Babies Grow Be Lowboys: Un- Grand Junction, Colorado. At leasfit 80 of Up To enced by people who listen to less you're on going you won't have a choice. a lot of country and western music — babies. The Nurse - Family Partnership agency in Grand Junction, Colorado nor- mally sees 25 to 30 pregnant women each month. After the annual Country Music must festival, 80 show up at the clinic to watch the rabbit die. Suggested song title? Twangin' And Bangin' To The Beat Of The Baby Boom. I love country and . western song titles. In and of themselves they tell a story and usually it's a bad one. And a sad one — I Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back Cryin' After Losing You. There's always a villain — How Can Whiskey Six Years Old Whip A Man Of 36? Who can also be a hero - Jack Daniels You Been A Friend To Me. Sometimes there's sex - We Used To Kiss Each Other On The Lips But. It's All Over Now and usually misfortune — Just My Truckin' Luck. Somebody leaves — Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone. Somebody arrives — Walk Out Backwards Honey And I'll Think You're Comin' In. Some songs speak to family tragedy like I'm Sittin' Here Sad Cuz The De- livery Truck Ran Over Dad And They Charged Us Twenty Bucks To Cart 'im Away. Or Mama Get The Hammer. There's A Fly On Papa's Head. Country and western songs are so full of promise — I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight. And broken promise — How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life. And broken dreams — My John Deere Was Breakin' Your Field, While Your 'Dear John' Was Breakin' My. Heart. That's just the way it goes sometimes — Some Hearts Get All The Breaks. Some songs try and head off the hurt — Please, Bypass My Heart while others confront it head on — You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat. A few. stoop to the lows of retaliation. 1 Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting' Better. If I'd Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now. She Got The Goldmine. 1 Got The Shaft and She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger. All the World's A Circus... Some offer hope of love renewed — I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me. Others are just plain nasty — If I Can't Be Your Number One, Then Number Two On You. Some songs examine the universal ex- perience of, ah, acne?!? • They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out. And cuticles? You Are The Hangnail Of My Life. And modern imptovements in fabrics and fry- ing pans! Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart. Yet it always comes down to a man and a woman and their love for each other, You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly. Sports sometimes creep into country and western songs — Tennis Must Be Your Racket `Cause Love Means Nothin' To You. Nor regular car maintenance — I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life. And the time -tested, in for the long haul relationship — I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Just Like Having You Here! Some show the misguided nature of modern man Everyone Wants To Go To Heaven, But I Think I'm Headed South. One country and western song will de- scribe a man's quest for peace and quiet - If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Find Someone Else Who Will. And confusion — If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? Irony is often the high note in some of these country tunes. I Liked You Better Before 1 Knew You So Well and How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? And no matter . how hard you try to make things work, You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd. Some songs are downright inspiration- al — Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goal Posts Of Life. Others just down - I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling. And- the, moral to all these stories in a woma n pi anni ng (i()! W, RkC 1-1 ., i. ;,' 1C( .f h•h It f American Wind Svmpbonv Orchestra Catch the Wind... with the kk („Ot)I.Riit'11 The venue for the concert is their one -of. -a -kind barge. the Point Counterpoint II, which is'a 195 foot:flo'ati'ng arts centre. a I 1 iii *, "main G`oderich Concert ti { 5r� ii ; .�� t,. Saturdav,JUIv 11 at 7:30 pm Goderich Main Beach —Harbour Grounds open at Spm! Rant date, Sunday, July 12 at 2:30 11111 Tickets: $10 per person 5,y Children 12 & under free when accompanied by an adult 40, Bring your own chairs or blankets • Shuttle service available on Saturday For more information, a schedule of events and tickets contact: Tourism Goderich 1-800-280-1631 or 519-524-6600 goderich.ca ,t American 0 o Wind Symphony o 0 o Q Orchestra 40001041041041401400140%00p4osing doors to the Americas Goderich Signal Star Kleinknecht Insurance Broker Ltd. Elliott Nixon Insurance Brokers Inc. Sholdice Insurance Ltd. Seaforth Insurance Broker Ltd. Lyons & Mulhern Insurance Brokers Ltd. Brulnsma Excavating Ltd. Gardiner's of Goderich Expedia CruiseShipCenters The Park House Restaurant & Pub • • 11 • • • " This Event Graciously Sponsored by: DONNIELLY i� M MURPHY EPCQR 040144tio-sipe.4 lig WMIN Man 61011000t GODER1CH HYDRO gATOR Funded by, , a you have an electr"icitv.guzzling.Jrae th Own years o/(f or more, you can get rid o/' it the easy way. Just make an a intment with us. WU come into .your home, take it alvav f )r free and recycle i1 in an environmentally rietrrfly manner You '11 save between $120-$15t)per year in electricity. Book online !oda it ut everykilowattcouitts.ca or call 1-877797-9473 and offered every 1? kilowatt rC)1")1,1(+f.'11 HYDRO quo counts s *Fridges and freezers must it least 15 years bid. in w 'Wm itut Ontario d, -A. tri 40.