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Home My WebLink AboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 2009-02-04, Page 13Trinity Church Denny Scott signal -star staff Goderich parents got a helping hand in fig- uring out just what is going on in their chil- dren's heads on January 28 at Trinity Chris- tian Church, and the answers might have surprised a lot of those present. • Brett Ullman, director of Worlds Apart, spoke to an assembled audience at the church. Worlds Apart is a group dedicated to educat- ing parents about modem culture and the role it plays in their children's lives. Featuring stories and statistics that would unnerve the most confident parent, Ullman attempted to impress upon parents that the world has moved ahead, and things are far different than they grew up with. He shared that in his approximate decade of teach- ing and talking to students and parents, he had seen dangerous curves being set where people were facing problems like drugs, self injury, pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases at younger and younger ages. A lot of what Ullman said could be boiled down to some of lis last words. "Listen to your students, listen to your kids," he said. Ullman explained that he began as a teach- er, but gradually made the transition to full- time speaker as a matter of necessity. "I've been a teacher for ten years, and I be- gan speaking as a hobby," he explained. "[Due to the time necessary], I realized I was going down a path I just couldn't... I feel blessed that this is what I do." While Ullman does not attempt to hide his Christianity, he does encourage people to question everything, including their religion. He believes that a lot of the problems that generations are facing at younger and young- er ages are created by a growing disconnec- tion between church and youth. He points out that more than 80 per cent of high school graduates stop practicing their faith once they leave, and that hurts not only the church, but those youth as well. Ullman, who is in his mid -thirties, outlines how different thingsare for todays youth gen- erations by comparing them to the realities of the current generations. "Maclean's Magazine, about a year ago, talked about our 8 to 10 -year-old girls, and the word skank is used twice and hooker is used once. We didn't have that when we were growing up? We didn't call the girls that age those kinds of terminologies," he said. "We didn't have girls in Grade 7 with HIV/ AIDS... we didn't have girls in Grade 6 get- ting pregnant, and we didn't have girls giving oral sex for five dollars at schools," Ullman explained, saying that he has been to schools, and Christian schools, where these things are a reality. Ullman says that much of the problem LUBE - OIL - FILTER All Gas Powered Oars and Light Trucks X3300 Plus Tax Includes: EHE (Environmental handling charge), up to 5L of oil, Fluid Top Ups, Exterior Car Wash. No Disposal Fees. Shuttle Service, McGEE Motors Ltd. Your Full Line GM Dealer 180 Suncoast Drive E. 519-5248391 Goderich Signal -Star, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 - Page A13 welcomes speaker to talk about teens' world Photo by Denny Scott Brett Ullman spoke at Trinity Christian Church about raising teenagers. stems from media misunderstandings, and suggestive messages in pop culture aimed at younger audiences. Ullman highlighted sev- eral pop music songs, explaining how they elude to sexual acts using terms parents may not recognize immediately. They may hear a song, not understand its message, and expose their children inadvertently, he said. "We as parents need to understand' where culture is coming from and what it means," he explained. Ullman also addressed social networking Web sites and their dangers. However, he also spoke to some of the strengths of these online communities, "I think every parent should have [a Fa- cebook account], because its a great way to understand where culture is at today... It al- lows me to connect, I can connect with more students with one e-mail than I ever could be- fore," he said before going on to explain the pitfalls of the system. . "Our women need to understand that how they sell themselves online is how they'll get treated. If they sell themselves as sexual ob- jects, they'll only find guys that want them for sex. Our young girls are worth so much more than what they sell themselves for. We know that, but they don't know that," he explained. "A lot of kids aren't getting into university or colleges, or get jobs, because of what they post on the internet," he explained. "The inter - net never forgets... that picture of that young man smoking a bong will be up there for his kids and his grandkids to see." Ullman said with social and behavioral, problems in teens and pre -teens being linked to the video games they play, parents need to be aware of age restrictions on games and gauge whether or not it's right for their child. "Games have changed... a friend of mine teaches grade four, five and six, so I asked him what kids are playing at that age. I know what high school and junior high kids are playing, Gears of War and Call of Duty, but I didn't Branch 109/Ladies Auxiliary Royal Canadian Legion 56 Kingston Street BURSARY APPLICATIONS for Post Secondary School Graduates Deadline Mar. 31/09 Application forms are available at the Branch. know that. He gave me two answers that real- ly scared me, Leisure Suit Larry and Playboy Mansion, a version of the Sims. This stuff is completely inappropriate for our kids," he explained. "Then there's the game of the day, Grand Theft Auto, when I can pick up a pros- titute and have sex with her and she screams out the f -word, there's a concern. My biggest concern is that we, as parents, are buying it for our kids." Ullman went on to discus's movies, sug- gesting that things have changed so dra- matically that par- ents, and society, are completely giving up, often times enabling children to see movies they shouldn't. "PG -13 today is re- ally what R movies were 10 years ago. 90210 came back this year, and has an oral sex scene in the first 10 minutes. .It was shown at seven o'clock at night on the east coast." Ending his discus- sion he spoke of how parents have failed to b.e parents in many cases, and how that can be fixed. "As parents, for the most part, we've waved the white flag," He outlines a few suggestions to remedy this problem. "Model for your children, model a good relationship and your children will follow it. Don't argue in front of them, and if you do, argue in a way that they can understand," he said. "Have dinner, or a meal, at least 10 times a week" And one of the sug- gestions he made was specific to the men in the audience. Prompt- ed by his children's friends, who said that their parents rarely play sports, or read books to them, he asked the audience, how can you claim to be a father without ever having told a story to your chil- dren? 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