HomeMy WebLinkAboutExeter Advocate, 1904-4-14, Page 6*ea.'
CATCH I NO
1,
A FLAT
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.1444.44-HelatenelenialeHeieleHein
Martha, Says I an. a fool.
Martha is welcome, to her °Pinion;
there a,re others who think different-
ly. But I will not boast, The
Blaine never did, end they have done
iereat thaws in, their time,
Martha says thee I am not cepable of taking care of money. 1 only
wish that Martha would trust me
with more than bell a sovereign a,
week, that's all.
Martha has plenty of money-nve
thousand be Cousols, eight thousand
in various corporatioe stocks, and a
half share „in Allen. and Barker. Tom.
Allen was her first husband, and the
Inoixey is hers for life. Then it
goes to nephews and nieces.
These nephews and nieces resent
My being Martha's husband, and in-
einuate that I married her for Iler
money; or, as Job Allen, in Ms ele-
gant way, says, "for a home." They
quite ignore the fact that I was
Martha's first se-eetheart, and that
she threw me over for Tone :Allen.
One morning last July Martha said
"Jonty" (my narao is John Chesney
Illain)--"Jonty" she said, "Archie
is coming over to stay with' mo ler a
few weeks. Now, remember what
I've told you of hint."
If all was true that Martha had
eald about her brother Archie, 110
was as great a villain as tliere was
to be found. He ne-ver had a friend
or acquaintance bet he' borrowed
looney from him and never repaid,
Ine had lived under =my names in
Inany towns. And the more places
he lived in the more bills for lodg-
ing,s he kft unpaid. fro had never
done a stroke of work in his life --if
we except the thluking out schemes
by which he hoped to make a. living
by defrauding sonteone.
Archie came. A big, genial fellow,
about ten years younger than I. He
greeted me aftectionately, and we
were chums at once.
Archie didn't borrow money from
me; at least, not much. I haven't
much to lend out of half a sovereign
a week. And he taught me a few
things that will come in useful.
There's a certain way of dealingat
all -fours; and there are things at
whist; and theea's a way of marking
dominoes; and thme's a cute sys-
tem of giving losers eaong change.
pounds easily enemen, Jonty,, Traet
to Me,"
That same evening he told Me that
Mortimer Was on, "He's its eager
-well, as eager as flats uoually aro.
Now, Jonty, not a word to, Marthe
if you value rny friendship. I've ar-
ranged with Ilfortimer that he shell
see the picture at the Albion, • Yoe
elide it out without Martha. Peeing
you, and be there at.three. And Mr
GuyMortimer is ours."
So it fell out. After several un-
successful attempts t� smuggle the
picture. out of the Ileum withclut
Martha, seeing, I took a bold . step
and walked coolly downstairs with
it under my arm. Martha met me
in the halL
"John Chesney she said,
looking arst at ths picture, then at
me, "wleere aro you taking that
picture?"
"To the restorer's," I replied,
adopting the methods of brother Ar-
chie. "You know how cracked and
dirty it is dear, Now, the restorer
will make it like new for a few shil-
lings." „
I said it all so glibly that she had
nothing tee Iliad fault with, and' got
safely away to the Albion,
Mortimer was a neat, sracietelook-
ing chap; not iny idea of a flat at
all. But Archie whispered, "He's all
right; we've got him."
"Mr. Mortimer," sal(' Areal% as
we seated ourselves in a private
room, ”this is Mr. Blain, and this
is the picture. It has been in his
family some • seventy years. He
would not part with it, but -well,,
you know. The usual. thing. Our
friend has come out, .the wrong side
on Sauth.• Africans; and
niust be .met,and the nedessaries.
imve to be paid •for, Our friend has.
perted with most of his worldly
goods; and even this picture, the
cherished possession of his family
and a faithful representation cif his
grandfather has to go. People
must live.
"There !" be exclaimed, unwrapp-
ing the picture and holding it up to
the gaze of Mr. Mortimer. "Splen-
did, isn't it ?"
llortimer looked at the picture, a
bit dubiously, I thought.
"It's very dirty and cracked," he
said.
"Age, jay dear sir," replied Ar-
chie,"And it is not signed."
"What of that V' remarked Archie.
"I need scarcely remind a connois-
seur of your groat experience' that
many of the old Blasters are un-
signed."
“Yes, of course, I know." said
Mortimer. "Now, the price ?"
"Er -let me see. Sixty guineas I
think you said, Mr. Blain ?"
"Yes," I returned, "sixty."
”Too much; far too much," said
Mortimer. "I will give you forty
pounds."
"Forty pounds 1" cried Archie.
"My dear sir, forty pounds fee an
old master ! Forty pounds for a
splendid example of Gainsborough,
or Lawrence ! Not to bethought of,
my dear sir. An expert has valued
the picture at one hundred guineas.
Forty pounds ! No; Mr. Blain could
not think of it. His pride would
not allow him."
"No," 1 echoed, "I could not
think of such a thing." •
"Now, if you had said sixty
pounds," said Archie.
They set to work bargaining, and
nnally Mortimer agreed to buy the
picture for fifty pounds. "And,"
said Archie, "let me congratulate
you, Mr. Mortimer, on having ac-
quired an undoubted gem at such a
low figure."
Mortimer looked very pleased, and
was certainly the flat Archie made
him out to be. Ile handed me ten
live -pound notes, and after I had
paid for a bottle of champagne he
went off with the picture.
"Bravo 1" said Archie, smacking
me on the back; "you did well, Jon-
ty, iny son. "That's the way to
handle flats."
I gave him his twenty-five pounds.
"Jolley," he said, pocketing the
notes, "if we had capital we should
do great things, you and I."
On our way back he persuaded me
to buy him an expensive scarl-pin.
"As commission," he explained.
A few days after Archie burst into
myroom in a most excited manner.
"Jonty," he said, throwing him-
self into e. chair, nhavo you a pair
of heavy shooting -boots, with. Bpjes
not less than two inches thick -with
long, projecting nails? Something
heavy, something that will leave a
mark. If you have, put them on
and kick rae. Kick me well. Jump
on me. Jonty, xay son. Traanple on
me, and tread me into the dust for
being such a juggins."
"What ever is the matter ?" I
asked, anxiously.
"'Everything," he groaned. "That
picture; that gen; • that master-
piece 1 We were the flats. It's a Rae -
burn,' jonty, and worth anything
fram eight hundred to fifteen him-
dred pounds V"
"What ?" I gasped.
"It's true. We've done ourselves.
Look well in the panenewon't ?
Tb.us 'There was sold at Christie's
yesterday the portrait of, a gentle -
Man, by Sir Henry Raeburn. It was
an example of the best work by this
artist, and may be considered fairly
cheap at the price of Efteen hundred
guineas it brought. • We understand
that the picture recently. changed
hands at lifty pounds.' "
"But bow do e-ou knowit's a
eestun ?" I asked: •
"A Mainline Jonty; a genital°
Haeburnrye just been to Morti-
mer's. He's had it refrained, and
on the lower- part of the picture, a
part your frame covered, I saw the
signature, 'IV ntaeburn, "I
He stepped his knee. -Now I come
to think of it, Mortimer can't haVe
seen the signature or he'd haVe men-
tioned it. Not a word, jetty. Pni
off to see him again. Read these."
He was off . like 'a, shot, throwing
down as he wont a number of nova-
papera Half bewildered, I took them
Up and found in theta marked pane -
graphs relating to the sale of 'lac -
burn portraits, Which seemed to sell
for onythieg from three bundred to
fifteen hundred poUnds each,
• During the day, Malin turd up
agabl. ''We're all right, Jonty,"
he said; !Werth/am haSent spotted
Some day, when 1: feel a bit confi-
dent, I shall try soeee things Archie
taught me.
"All you want," said Archie, "is a
flat, Jonty. alet hold of a, fiat,
with money, ot course, and the rest
is easy."
He knew a system of backing
horses, by getting on bets after the
race was run and he knew the result
"But the bookies are getting a bit
too fly," he would say.
"Selling tips is all right," he re-
marked, "but too nutny at the game
nowadays : overcrowded and de-
graded -not Et for gentleman."
Snooty," said Martha, a few days
after Archie's corning, "you're not
lending :Archie any money, I hope?"
"No, dear," I retitled. "How can
I out of ten shillings a week ?"
"It's enough for yen," she retort-
ed. "And don't let Archie entice
you into any trap. He will do it if
he can make anything by it."
"I think you are mistaken, dear
—" I began.
"Not in Archie Wild," she replied;
"I've known him too long. But I
think you are safe."
When I married. Martha, or, as
Job Allen slanderously says, "when
Martha picked him out of the gut-
ter," I admit that I had been un-
fortunate in business and had no
balance at the bank; but I had a
few possessions, and ono of them
was an old oil painting. It was
the fullnength portrait of a, gentle-
man, and was very dim a.nd cracked
all over, and the top corner was
badly torn.
I noticed Archie looking at the
picture gee day, and, as I was shav-
ing the not morning, he strolled
into the room and glanced at it
again.
"Yours ?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied; "my very own."
"Um 1" he said. "Not so bad.
Let's have a good look."
Ho took a large reading -glass from
his pocket and ma.cle a thorough ex-
amination of the picture. Then he
stood back and gazed at it from
different positions.
' "Not half bad, Jonty. Want to
sell ?"
"How much '2"
"What d'yeu say to a teener?"
'A termer 1 Ten pounds 1 1 would
have sold the thing for a sovereign.
"Done 1" I cried, gashing mychin.
"And done you would he," he
laureled. "Listen to me. Jonty;
n.ou're about the slowest eland at
doing a trade that I eater came
across. This picture, this work of
art," he looked at it attentively,
eethough unsigned, may be the work
of one of the great masters. • May
be, I say. Probably it is not. 13ut
we -you and I-ctre business people,
Jonty, my son. We mast sell this
for an old master; and if we can
only get hold of n. flat of the right
sort we might get fifty pounds for
it."
-You think so .?" I asked, fixing
a piece of plaster on my chin,
"Sure," be returned. "Now, I'll
•do tiro square, thing by you, Jonty.
I've a great opinion of you, and in
thire traction we'll go partnere.
:You would have sold, me the pieture
for ten pounds, Now, I know
hia name is Mortimer. This
'Mortimer is a juggins, who faneies
. he knows something about art. He
. ehall be our flat. We will sell hhu
the picture for fifty pounds -at least,
•X will. And that will give us twen-
• .1ey-five pounde eaeb."
•"Ilue--" I began,meaning to tell
• him that, as the picture was mine,
nate Oity pomade should be mine
$1,1s0.
"No," he replied. "I coin(' liet,
Oink i taking Moro than. twenty -
will look Up Mortimer, and
kelt infa 1.10low fa a bargaioto be
beet Vaunt carte
you tWenty-live
Ilia signature. We must buy the
1)1?kuarse,'IIVIC4lied-, with some hesita-
tion. The greater pertion eMy
twenty -ave pounds bed foiled ite
way into Archie's pockete. FIo had
been showing - me. some new card
games. ,
"How much have you ?" he asked.
I reckoned up- my assets to eight
pounds some shillings.
"Whew t" he whistled. "That's a
bad look -out, And 1 parted with my
available balance yestordity; a press-
ing bill -you understand. 13ut let
us go over to Slorthner's. You can
see the signature, and we'll work
aim again. Once a flat always a fiat
yolillakiel,oelvaCover to 'Mortimer's. He
occupied two rather untidy rooms
over a tobacconist's; but, as Archie
explained to me. Mortimer was only
in town for a week or so from hie
Place in Yorkshire. "Five thou a
year. Keeps hunters. A bit eccen-
tatiu. hue,alstnowwbsisslo:1-i.eedthinign
my ear as we went upstairs. •
The picture was hung in a promi-
nent position and had been. put into
a neat gilt frame, sleeping more of
the painting. When Archie attract-
ed Mortimer's attention for a 'few
minutes I gave it a close scrutiny,
and there, dimly, but surely enough,
was the signature my ft -aerie had cov-
ered. I nodded to Archie.
"Mr. Mortimer," he 'began, "since
he saw you last my -.friend, Mr,
Main, bas had, a small windfall -a
legacy, in fact; and his first thought
on receiving 'the gond' news is for
hie picture. Ra comes to me and
Bays, 'Mr. Wild. I should like nay
picture back.' ". :. • • .
But -nen' -Intct
earepte.ittortimer.
"Yes," rePiled Archie.. k'I paid to.
him, 'But, • Mi... Biafra -a, sale is a -
sate. You sell the picture to Mr.
Mortimer, and he does not wish to
part with the picture again. The
transaction is completed.' But Mr.
13Iain has prevailed • on me to see
you, and 1 ask you to think of the
circumstances. This- picture is the
cherished possession of our friend.
This WAS the last link connecting
him with the past -a past that had
its- pains and its pleasuitee-apast
with memories, Mr. Mortimer.
"Under the stress, of misfortune
our friend breaks this link. The
picture is gone; for four days he is
alone, abandoned. 'There 'is no Pia -
tare to reraind him of his past glor-
ies. While he moans aloud in his
solitude Providence comes to his re-
scue. *He receives a legacy; he
finds he can repair the linn he has
broken. You ,will not be bard on
• our friend. He is getting old, and
the loss of his picture may tell on
"I bought the picture," said Mor-
timer, stubbornly, "and I like it. I
will not sell it back." •
"Then yon may drive Mr. Blain to
do something desperate," said Ar-
chie, moodily, looking at me.
"Yes," I broke in, trying to get
a break in my voice. "If I .cannot
get . the , picture a bock4I do not
know what I may do." And I
folded my arms and let iner head sink
On to my breast. •,
• Mortimer began to. get alarmed.
Archie chimed in 'again, and we
worked on him till at last he agreed
to sell.
But to our dismay he wanted two
hundred pounds, and we could not
make him abate a single shilling.
"If Mr. Blain has come into money
and wants his picture so mu -ch, he
must pay for it. I've a right to
make a profit .out 'of my deal," said
Mortimer,' decisively. ”I don't want
to part with it; but for two hun-
dred it is elr. Blain's again. 'And,"
he continued, as he showed us down-
stairs, "I'm off in a few days, so he
must Make up his mind quickly."
• "What shall we do?" 1 asked rue-
fully: of Archie, when we got out-
side"You mustn't lose it," he .return-
ed. "What is a paltry two hundred
when the picture is worth twelve
hundred at least ? Let me see.
Your life policy!"
"What of it ?"
"Sell it. Surrender it. You can
raise two hundeed on it easily
enough."'
I did sp. I was net going to miss
the chance of 'making a thousand
pounds. I was resolved to prove to
Martha and her little -minded rola-
tives that I had business ,capabili-
ties. I disposed of my life policy
for the sum of 'two hundred pounds.
We went to Mortimer, who seemed
rather surprised to see us, and was
reluctant about parting witb thepie-
ture. tut Archie hinted that he
had a good opinion of Mr. Mortimer,
which • he would not like disturbed;
and eventually the picture returned
to my possession. I gave Archie five
pounds, "as commission."
"We must send it to Christie's,"
said Archie, on our wayhome. "And
be sure to place a high enough • re-
serve."
A week before the picture did go
to Christie's Archie was suddenly
tailed away to Paris. "Got hold of
a. good thing, Jonty. 'Another flee
-just come into fifty thousand. Too
good to be missed. Sorry I can't
stay for the sale. You've placed
the reserve at twelve hundred ?"
• "Yes," I replied. "And you get
twenty per cent, on anything over
six hundred."
Archie • went to Paris and. the
"Raab -ern" went to Chriselete, The
best bid Was thirty-five shillingsn
I was a, day or tWo getting Over
it. Then 1 Sent the, picture to an ex-
pert, who told me it was not a Rae -
burn nor in any way reeerabling
work by.that artist, . •
X often. wonder Which of there,
wrote the feignateira-Arebie or his
confederate, Mr, Oust Itfortimer, the
wealthy Yorkshire landowner,
I don't feel 60 .Well just now, for
in thirteen days farartha Will give inc
the money to pay nee life premiuni
arid will ask Me foe the, recei•pt,
have, been turning over in %roe Mind
the various ways of making a rapid
fortune iniperfeel to inc by brother
Archie, but I am no nearer the (501,-
ution of hew to delude Martha about
that instirance p011 c$.' -London Ta-
rn Ls,
SoMe wereien don't care What their
husbande .say as long as the eieigite
bore don't ,hear
resemeseAteeemateel
About the
I....House
HINTS Fon ROAM
In polishing the stove put a paper
bag ovee'the hand and you will thus
avoid dirtying the fingers.
If you have no oil heady take a
lead pencil and rub on the squeaking
Mega, and it will stop squeaking.
Carrots should be cleansed by be -
elle brushed in weter. They should
never be scraped, which causes them
to loft their flavor. •
• To • clean baths and bedroom
ware, rub with dry salt. This re-
moves all dirt, does not injure the
surface, a,nci leaves all bright and
shining.
After doing work which has made
your 'hands very dirty, rub with
olive oil • before washing. This
loosens the dirt and they will be far
less trouble to get clean. •
When cleaning wall paper use a
firm doughemade of flpur mixed with
a little washing soda. • This soda
will not spoil the paper and the
work will be done more rapidly• .
Light is an enemy of bacteria.
Make provision then to ha.vo proper
lighting as well as ventilation
through all parts of the kitchen, in-
cluding the pantry and cupboard.
Waterproofing for boots can be
made by mixing a little xnutton suet
and beeswax together. Rub this
on the solos Of the bootseencl light-
ly over the:edge's where the' stitches
The following is a good polish for
oilcloth -Save all candle ends and
melt in the.oven. 'Mac with it suffi-
cient turpentine to make a soft
paste. This is excellent for lino-
leurn, etc. •• .. •
It • is not generally .known that
wringing out a cloth in hot water
and wiping the furniture before put-
ting on furniture cream will result
in a very high polish; and will not
finger mark.
TO, keep sponges soft and white
wash. them in walla Water with a
little tartaric acid .in it, then rinse
in plenty of 'cold water. Take care
not to put in too much tartaric. acid
or the sponges will be spoiled.
Delicious sandwiches may be made
by spreading one slice of bread with
butter beaten to a cream, and the
other with honey. The honey must
be used•. sparingly, so that it will
not ooze out on the fingers of the
eaters.
• Do • not ieaste the breken bread.
After rolling it so as to form
crumbs'place these 'crumbs in a cov-
ered vessel. They will keep there
for six months if necessary; and. al -
Ways will be available when wanted
in cooking.
• An *excellent grease eradicator for
family use is made thus -Boil me
ounceof soap cut small in one quart
of soft -water, add a teaspoonful of
saltpetre .and an ounce and a nail
of, anunonianna -Keep this fluid in a
bottle, corked -tightly. • •
To choose a ham.-Itun a knife
along the bone of a ham; if it comes
out clean 'and bas a savoury odor,
the ham is good; if smeared and
It is either spoiled by taint or
is rusty. Hocks and ganinion. Of
bacon may be tried in the same
way.
:When soot falls upon the carpet or
rug, never attempt to sweep it up
at once, for the• result is sure to be.
a disfiguring •mark. Cover it thick-
ly willanicely dried salt, which will
enable you to sweep it up cleanly,
so that not the slightest .stain or
smear will be left.
To remove traces of petroleum
from either vaesels or material' try
lime water, which rapidly emulsifies
it and effectively removes all trace
of smell. Bottles •that have con-
tained petroleum will be speedily
cleaned and rendered quite odorless
if washed out with water cute a lit-
tle lime. • Petroleum laaup reser-
voirs can be washed out ni.ore easily
t• hus.
mattresses, t whether used by.
children or adults,' should be.. thor-
oughly beaten mice- a, fottnight Set
in the sun by -open *iodates when
possible; in this way the White dust
that comes from the body is rent al-
lowed to lie on the creases of the
mattress covers. A -geed rule is .to
have the mattresses bruthed regular-
ly one -day in each week.
For Scotch shortbread take one
pound of flour, one -pound of butter,
one-quarter pound of sugar. Work
the ,sUgar and butter into the flour
with the hands until it clings to-
gether, thenemake inn. square. Pinch
the edges all, around. Bakein het
oven for about twenty minutes. If
desired, you can put little candy
comfits around the edges.
,Baked Spanish onions make a
nice change when green vegetables
are getting scarce. Take three or
four Spanish onions with their skies
on, and plunge into boiling Water,
and let them boil quietly for an
hour. Then drain perfectly dry,
wrap each olden up in buttered pap-
er, and bake for about two hours.
ReMove the paper and skies, and
Serve the' onions in tie thick •brown
g'ranY•e
GOOD RECIPES.
Moicteees Gingerbread. -To ono eup
Of stigar, one-lialf nip of butter .and
two ceps of Orleans molaSses well -
mixed together., add one egg, one
COP• Of Wier milk, one teaspOonful
of soda, one tablespoonful of ginger
ard aetricient flour for a thick bat -
ter. •
• Baricula, Iroarnaanlarefally break up
four bananas .tvitib a fork, stir in one
CU p of thgar, the Whites of. two eggs
end the juice of half a Ranee, thee
beat together for twenty etinutet.
Tine foam' way be used on bananas,
lady fingers, sponge take or on any
fresh berries...,._
Potato Soutlle.-Peel six medium
pized potatees and put on to boil,
When done &ale and mash in a
eaucePeri ova the fine; add an otince
and a. lief of 'butter and hall a teae
cupfiti of Milk, salsoliieg of Fait alai
pepper and beat till pertectly light;
[Orange ina mould in tile centre of
a dish ,atel just browu in a hot oven,.
Corn Stara Cakee-Cream, one-
half cu P of butter with one eeP of
sugar, add the whites of three eggs,
well beaten, one-half cup of milk,
one-half cup of corn starch, one-
half teaspoonful of creftm tartarand
one-fourth teaspoonful of soda, each
dissolved in a little cold water, then
add one cup of flour. Flavor • with
lemon,
Potted teed -Ono niay boy beef es-
pecially for potting and • make
enough to last two or three weeks.
Purchase 2 lbs. from the under Part
of the rounde as this is inexpensive
and will answer tine purpose, Put
it into 11 crock with .1 cup water, 4
tablespeons butter, teaspoon pep-
per and the same of ground cinna-
mon, 1 tablespoon Worcestershire
sauce and an onion chopped fine.
Stand the crock or jar in a kettle
of cold water, bring it to the boil-
ing point and boil carefully for three
hours. When the meat is tender,
chop line, • pound until perfectly
smooth and -mix with it gradually
the liquor from tlie jar; add 2 tea-
spoons salt, and if you have a few
nuts, stir inna cupful. Pack the
mixture into small earthenware
bowls, cover with melted suet or par-
teffine and keep in a cool dry place.
Pressed Baked Beans, -Did you
ever try pressed baked beaus? If
not you will be sure to like them af-
ter trying them once. When I was
a child I never cared for cold beans
until my mother got into the way
of pressing them, When the beans
are hot, stir them in a perfect mus,
season them well by adding salt if
needed, then press them into a tin
or• shape them up on a platter so
they are nearly square on the edges
and cornexa, and when they aia ciold
you'can slice them and'eat cced. Or
they are excellent fried brown on a
buttered spider after being sliced.
An unexpected gentleman guest at
our supper table asked me what I
did to my beans to make them so
good, for he never tasted any that
he relished so well, and he thought
he was fond of beans before. Try
pressing them and you will- never
wish to chase a cold bean around
your plate again.
•••••••••••••••
COMBINED SINK AND TABLE.
Some kitchens are too small to al-
low of a sink and table both, and
for these a combination of the two
-
will be a welcome arrangement.
Rave a carpenter make a sink of the
length, breadth and height you de-
sire, and set up. on legs similar to a
table, or it may have ends, and a
shelf midway of the space beneath if
desired. Get a tinsmith to make
a zinc lining of the heaviest sheet
zinc, .with all corners well soldered,
and fasten it in with clout -nails at
very short distances all around the
top edge. Tao sink is then ready
for painting, • in harmony with the
rest of the woodwork of the kitchen.
For the table part, get, a hard -
Wood leaf at the lumber yard and
have it well smoothed down. Fasten
it to the lower front part of the
einit box by three. goodninges. :Add
a spring to hold it up when wanted,
mud you have a very handy piece of
'furniture. Thia sink can be fasten-
ed to the wall or not as liked, or
the leaf may be fastened to the
wainscoting in the same manner as
to th.e sink, and prove even more
handy.
SUICIDA_ILSALDION.
Battles of Death Enacted in Alas-
ka Streams.
Imagine yourself on the seashore
in Alaska, in the month of Septem-
ber, rambling on for the nleasure of
it, and picking up a curmus shell
now and then. You see ahead a
fresh water* stream which es in your
path. As you approach you aro
surprised to find the whole stream
filled, crowded, with struggling sal-
IliOrt. If you follow the stream
back from the shore a mile or se,
you will fincl it literally packed .with
selnion all the way, although the
Water is so shallow that no fisk is
more than half covered. '
Your surprise is increased wheo
you approach epee eneogh, ;to touch
with your foot, and find that ' they
pay' not the slightest 'attention to
you. They struggle fiercely one up
the stream, • the females , to .depoeit
their, eggs, the males to protect 'the
females. All are intent upon that
mad, suicidal ruslaep the 'stream...
It is suicidal beeauSe not a • single
salmon •out of these thousands be
fore yeti over comes back alive.
From the outset they neither eat
nor rest, and as you follow them
up stream you soon seethe effects
of - their battle. Their flesh is
knocked off against the stones; here
against his fellows, with nothing
left of his once powerful tail • but
the bones, and matey of them are
broken; the flesh may be falling from
• his back or torn from hisbelly,still
he lights on until death.
If it is a female you .may sea the
eggs dragging from an -ugly gash in
her side, one fin is torn off, two
more are useless, every effort to pro-
pel herself • leaves a trail of blood,
but she swims on with the rest:
You are sickeiled by such a sight,
and conclude that the shallowness of
the stream will account for the con -
clition of the fish, So you go to a
larger stream, thirty feet in width
and eight feet in depth; here .you
field thousands of salmon lashing the
water into Mem in their efforts • to
distance • oue anther. They are
winnable; packed layer on layer, like
eardines. Here the conditions of
the smaller streams are lanceted on
a larger seinetitle lish aro not
Only torn to pieces by recite, but
destroy one another, If you pick
up one that appears vhole he will
hill to pieces of his own weight.
First Inmate :-"You say the light
was quickly over ?'t Second Rus-
sian :-"Yee; it was finished before
yeti 'could say jackepolinsity llobiu-
soilopolotol,v sky."'
Customer :-enlow is Wit ? You
have cearged, me twice tho usual
price for shaving?" Barber :--"*.efe
razor was dell and it toek me twice
""imlglip.'P
Ieose be the collecting busi-
ness nearly every man you see ciske
you to call ag-aifi ?" "Ask Me ?"
replied the COHOCtOr. • PS.oeno of
them dare inc."- , .
EUROPH 110ARBEll GoLrifiLN
$1,50(),000,000 PUT AwAi r,
READY FOR WAR.
Every Great Nation Except Bra
taiu Has Millions Stored
Away.
It is an interesting and little-known
fact that of alt the grea,t nations of
Earope England is ahnost the only
one that has no treasure -house of
gold to go to when she wishes to
start leer great fighting machinery.
On the Continent, stored in cellars
and voiles, it is said, tbere is no
loss than $1,500,000,000 In gold and,
silver coins, always ready to be
drawn th
on e moment the flat of war
has gone forth; and it is a very pru-
dent precaution for seine nations
thus to lay by for a warlike day,
gine° othertvise they migiat be caught
nanping and be placed under a heavy
handicap at the beginning. • •
About fifteen miles from Berlin
stands the grim fortress of Spandau,
and it is in impregnable vaults in the
Julius Tower of this fortress that
Gerina.ny keeps her war gold • and
silver,•How many millione precisely,
it amounts to is known to few; but
we know that out of the indemnity
paid by France, (*ermany appropriat-
ed £18.000,000 to her war -chest.
Germany has had her hoard of
war -money ever since the days of
Frederick the Great, who filled .the
first "chest" by imposing a high pro-
tective taint • an foreign manuftto•
-
teres; and no 'doubt many a- timo. ais
successors.. on the Throne of Prussia
haVe had cause to bless his
THRIFT AND FORESIGHT,
• France is probably, even 'better pre-
pared for war financially than Ger-
many, for she is credited with having
a fund Of no less than £120,000,000
to fly to whenever she has to set her
vast legions wmotion. Of this gi-
gantic sum Z70,000,000 is in -gold
and 250,000,000 in silver. in the
custody of the Austro-Hungarian:
Bank there is a very serviceable fund
of £30.000,000 for purposes of war;
Italy has a well-filled war-ehest; and
even penurious Russia has, hidden
away somewhere, the equivalent of
n100,000,000, a sum which will keep
the war -machinery going fora good
many mouths, at any rate.
If these figures are correct-- and
they appear to be generally accepted
•
-it is evident that something, like
43300,000,000 must be hoarded up by
Continental nations alone, solely as
a preparation for war -a yearly sum
of 439,000,000 approximately thus
being lost to their exchequers.
Time was when for many a cen-
tury Vire, too, had our war -chest -lit-
erally a thest, iron -bound and mae,-
sive--and no expedition ever moveti
against an enemy• by sea or land k
without taking this chest with them;
and even when it was no longer nee -
emery to adopt such a premiti-ve -me-
land of flnancing, an army there was
a fund -and a very large flied:too--
exclusively devoted to
WAR EXPENSES. •
'A little more than seventy years ago
this fund disappearecl in • Pitt'
scheme for the Consolidation Full
and if we may be said to ha.ve a
cliest at all, it may be consideeed to -
take the form• of this Consolidated
Fund, which is always available for
the purpose of starting a war financi-
ally.
But if John Bull has no war -chest,
and needs 11021e, in the strict moan-
ing of the word, he has many a lit-
tle pile of gold scattered about in
different parts of his • Empire. At
Malta there is a Treesury chest
which usually contains about £50;-
000; in the Straits Settlements there
is 236,000; at Gibr.altar there is al-
ways from 4330,000 to $40,000 to
draw on; at Bermuda, £25,000; at
the Cape, £20,000; in the West In-
dies, E17,000; in Egypt, £50,000e in
Hong Kong, L25,000, and co on, an
aggregate sum of nearly 431,000,000
being distributed amoog these scat-
tered; hoards. The Treasury chest
fund is probably the legitimate Sur-
vivor of the old chest which our arm-, '
as used to-tane'with them in their
r ,
excusions against the "rebellioes
Scots" or against the armies o
France ,and Spain. -London Tit -Bits.
BONAT'ARTE'S OPINION.
Thought Russia Was Hard Coun-
try to Conquer.•
Durbin -the few years of captivity
which preceded the death of the great
Corsican at St. Helena he took fre-
quent occasion in his conversation to -
discuss tho most striking features of
his career. Practically all that • ho
had to say on these subjects has beat
preserved in various books wsitten 1)37those wbo were in his confiderice at
the time. In everything that he said
relative to his Russian campaign' he
showed that he looked upon that en-
terprise as the principal mistake of
his life and upon the Russians as a
people whom even the ,greatest con-
querors tvoulct better let alone. Thus:
• It was making war upon "tussle,
that ruined me.
Russia is the nation that is most
likely to tu,areh to universal domin-
ion.
•
would not bey° declared' war ma
on Russia, but that I was persuaded
she was about to declare war upon
nee.
In the end Russia Will become mis-
tress of the World.
Bet for mm
y arriage with Mario
Louise I would not have declared wen
upon Russia. (He expected assist-
ance from Atistrian
1 am reproached for not getting
myself killed at Waterloo. think T
might rather to have died in Ruszia.
i
Hassle is in a favorable positioo to
conquer the world.
Peenaps 1 did wrong to commence' ,
the Waterloo 'campaign. I did not
think than that liuseia would talto
hand. •1
if 1 lead had n00,000 More, Men in
Russia there would have leeee that
I
1 Many more lost. •- - .
Alter I had reachee lleow I
should have die n there.