HomeMy WebLinkAboutExeter Advocate, 1901-5-23, Page 2The Girl in the Red Tam.
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\ken Uncle Merriacae down
by the London express, and almost in-
fested on my going off withe him that
very afternoon to the Radnorshire
mountains "for e lilac fishing, Leo,'
wee not at all unwilling) to oblige
him and myeelf,
"But evlay, my dean Richard," asked
my mother, "have you taken to each
a very ugly -coloured wine" I aleo
Wanted ta know.
"Never mind the wig, Many," said
mole M. "Get the boy'a portmanteau
Packed. We cart then eateh the 2.5
train."
As it tVLIS already one o'clock, it
Will be etisen he was in a hurry. My
mother VMS easily persuad.ed. Uncle
M. was her favorite brother, and she
!lever tired of lamenting that he
was allied he basinese—the City Road,
—with ouch a rough, uupresentable
perston as Matthew Barker. The two
of them were Rowley, Limited, and
itteel toys were their trade. He was
decidedly unusual in the train. I
couldn't get him. to talk, though ordi-
narily he ohatte,d like any girl.
"A headache, my boy. Let me have
a nap," he said, at length.
Whether he weeny slept or not I
don't know, but I do know that I
Smiled very much at him. His tawny
wig had ehifted to one side, showing
that ivoried old pate of his. '
At the Forest Junction, where we
changed for Greendele Station, he
briskened considerably. So did 1,
for it was there I was privileged to
do the girl with the red tarn oishan-
ter Some slight service. She had im-
preesed me ,when she got into the
train, and1 was pleased to see her
again.
"Could you tell me," she asked, with
the Aweetest little lisp and blush., "if
I wait this aide for Greendale'?"
"You do," said I. "We also are, go -
Lag to Greendale, ao you can, if you
like, get into our carriage."
I smiled, and she smiled, but we
progressed no more than that just
then. She threw poor old Uncle M.
a look which might have meant any-
thing. I took it to mean that he had
no intention of putting 'hereelf alone
into a compartment with tarn strange
men. To my aatanishment, I notic-
ed that the old chap had saddled his
nose with blue glasses. ;When we
were in the train again I demanded
an eemlanatien.
"My boy," eaid the uncle, "I must
ask you notto trouble me with idle
questions. I ant twenty-five years
your ,Fjenior, and may be supposed to
have very good reasons for all I
That night we v..ere enugly fixed, in
the Anglers' Rest, one cif the tnost
precious of fishermen's , quartere,
with the hills soaring behind the inn,
speckled all too thinly- with big old
hollies and oaks --relies of the famous
Shellot Forest, in which our Norman
friends hunted the bear and the stag.
It was respectable fishing weather—
eoutherly wind and a broken sky—
and the stream was in nice order. But,
to my increased surprise, I could not
get Uncle M. out of the house; neither
the next day, nor the next, nor the
next. He at and wrote and read,
and was in fair spirits only when
the latap was lit of an evening, and
he had had two tots of! whisky. Hith-
erto I had never known hira to touch
a lsecand glass of toddy at one eft -
tins.
Had I net had compeneation of a
very fascinating kind, I should have
been quite angry with Uncle M. But
in the meantime, I bad again met the
girl in the red tam. o' shanter--6vice
in three days, to be correct. She, too,
was fiehing, and already her brown
eYee, sunny smile, gentle speech, and
capital handling of a rod had done for
me. She was staying at the school-
mistress's cottage, half a mile from
the inn. Our landlord knew nothing
about her, except that her name
was Chesson, and. that her landlady
thought her a very bold creature to
be amosing herself all alone in such
a mannish way. She had, le appear-
ed, harrowed rod and flies from the
•schoolmistress's son --Bill Martin—for
aodiel consideration.
What with the mystery of Uncle
Dles peculiarities and the joy I began
- to feel in seeing and thinking of Miss
chessain, I didn't do much good with
the fish. On the fourth morning I
;went a Step farther on the down-
ward path. There she was, a couple
of hundred yards or so belovinthe inn,
her cap like a red berry on the green-
sward. I saw her land a nice one,
and then etood opposite to with
the Strcarn between us.
"How mean of you, Miss Chesson,"
I gold, "to steal another march on
me!" • -
"Mean?" plaid she, as if startled, and
away ,elipped her rod. It was one
fish more, taking her unawares. "Traiterousi little hussy!" I Said.
I 'was in the water in a moment; "And to-marrewf"
reckleasly, too, for I turned turtle in "There is no time for to -morrows.
a hole, and cams up en her ba,nk,a, Go! And goseochnight, dear." Away
pretty picture of a dripping idiot. But she whisked, and back to the inn 1
I ecured the rod all righte • Her re- hustled.
grete on my bohalt were simply di-
vine.
"If you talk like that about such,
a trifle, my dear girl," I said impetu-
°ugly, ''I shall be compelled to tell you
you cart catch hearte as cleverly as
trout. Anyway, you've caught mine,
lea there!" She breathed fast, Witb
a deeper blush than before.
"Den't!",ehe whispered, "And youm
rattst run hoe and change."
"Bother the change Marie V' ,eald L
That wao leer ether name, and I was
etting xecklees.
But all the response she made to
that audacious touch was to pick up
her rod and basket, say, "Please go
/mem at once," and turn her cherry-
elpe cheeks another way. She march-
ed off, and So did I. However, I had
taken the plunge, and really, on re-
flection, I Was extremely Odd of it,
and on the whole not dissatisfied with
the retatilt—a% a start, you knew.
IL
•
Ilttele It was rather mad when he
that through the achoolsteese'-- Marie thole to tofedia. She wa$ by
•hatched -faced goesip! She looked io then eteeled to beer the prodigious
at the inn, and, chancing tei clash bloWing-Up Which her father an bota
with the uncle in the corridor, dived ther were bowed to have', and had,
in with an LXchse me, stet, the hb- ready for her. It was her vane and
erty taking," wihloh ended in a tent flutter as a "itec."--Loudou Am-
oebae, •impudent inquiry if he could wera, ,
teli her anything about Mies Claes-
AM. After that it WaS Straight
eailiog for the vvorthy woman to men-
tion our meetings ley the stream—ay,
and in the worn-out old forest also.
I only wanted to make sure she
wan respectable," sho explained. All
this ;Uncle AL related. to me in the
evening. He raw, to heights on the
,subiject.
"Whatever you do, don't make an
tees of yourself, Leo!" he staid. Tlaen
he sighed. "There's quite enough
of that in the family as, 11
"You're a nice old man to talk in
that prudeet, way," I said. "How
aleout your wig, your specs, and your,
sticking to the house here, wheu you.
carae dowo, yall said, expressly to
Vali?" That hit him.
°Yo-u're right, my boy," he eald
wearily—"you're right. But I can't
explain things. It' a a miserable
business. That's all I can say."
Of course then I had him on the
grill. I did my heat to dynamite the
mYetery out of him. No good. The
oialy benefit I gained wan his apparent
licence of eur goings-on. A deal it
would thieve mattered otherwise, for
by the end of the week we were engag-
ed. I let fly at him with this s:weet
new. Than, indeed, he threw of his
lethargy, ehoved an old deerstalker
on the. top of that sandy' shag of his,
and ,took up his rod.
"My future mut be subordinated
to your, my boy," he said, as solemn-
ly as if he wore in a pulpit; and the
word e were his text. "Let me see
her."
'Well, I knew where Ahe might be,
fast enough; but somehow I pitied
her, and did not take him straight
to her. We juggled among mossy
boulderand trickles of water, with
thickish birch and holly -rub by the peditioa of 1875-6, and annexing
wetereide. But, le and behold! sud- Christmas isltrird in1888. From 1895
denly Uncle et yelled out, as if he feel 1897 Captain, May was Aseistant-
had a thron in hie foot, and there( was Director of Torpedoe.s, one of the
hie wig dangling in the airt at the most exaning and difficult posts in
end of 'Miss MTh
Marie's line. e shy, the Navy. In th,e D:temonel. Jubilee
clever, dear little minx! proc,ess:Ion he commanded the Naval
She'd thrown from the steep bank oonteagent, the eecbion of the pee -
right above on It was quite a fun- cession which undoubtedly came in few
ny introduction after that. the mast enthusiastic, a•pplause, so
Uncle M. did the most sensible admeteably had th,e mem been seleeted
thing passible in treating, it as a and so well Organise& ,
huge joke.
"Odd that thie should happen in my
very fleet fortnight's declension to
false hair!" he said gaily.
Marie was disappointing. She had
little to eay, and her look e of sorrow
seemed to be absurdly overdone. She
even answered Uncle M.'s cool quos -
time about her parentage much a if
she were a dull little raaid at school.
But he liked her.
"My boy," he Raid afterwards, "she's
a good girl, thoughlea imighty queer
her sporting about here by herself.
Something motherly, don't you know,
in her looks!"
"What rat!" eaid I, with a roar.
I'll tell her that."
And tell her I did that evening„ un-
der the moon, which looked splendid,
balanced on the crest a our parti-
cular hill of the foreet. We; met by
the old churchyard, with absolute
contempt for ghosts.
"Ile says you have a motherly eye,
pet," I said, drawing her to me. But
she wouldn't be drawn.
"Leo," she wlaisperecl, "I must con-
fess something to you."
"Alt right," said L "Overrun the
constable ?"
"Leo," ehe said, very earnestly in-
deed, "can't you nee that ray being
here and all isn't an accident? What
dear, denae, simple creatures men
are 1 And your uncle is one, too,
and I ,want you to get him out of
the country immediately—to-night,
or the first thing to -morrow morn-
ing."
"Why?" said I. '7'. '-
"Bectiuse--because he must. Tell
him the writ is issued for his; arrest.
I don't believe for an instant he is
guilty of any crime, but that Mr.
Barker is, and your uncle is jointly
responsible. Promise you will per-
suade him to run away." It was the
fir,et time she had shaven passionAc-
tually, too, there was the shine of
tear e in her pretty eyes.
"Go on!" I said. "Tell me every-
thing."
"Not until you promise to persuade
him."
"What' e 'the figure?"i
She whispered somethng preposter-
ous. "All fraudulently appropriat-
ed by 5/Ir. Barker," ehe added. "Now
pronaiee. It will lee too late this time
to -morrow." Of course, I under-
stood raow.
"You are employed by the prosecut-
ing ,solicitors, I suppose"? I said.
Then if elm didn't burst into sobs.
"I—I thought 1 should like it," she
stuttered. "I wanted to earn my own
living, and Ralph and. father eaid I
had a good enough head. on my—my
shoulders."
"They told no lie there," said I.
"They have the case in hand," she
went on. "Bot don't wait. Go to
hixa, and tell him what I say. I'll
hunt down that Mr. Barker, if I die
doing it." I meditated rapidly, then
just took her head between my, hands
and kiesed hen
AiMerriam came •
NOTED PEOPLE.
tuterestine hustle aeons Prominent Men
unit Women.
Dintelonee OE File is an, excellent
fencer. . .
The tsalea•y of the young King of
Speen le .8150,000 a year.
The German Einp,eroc is said to rc-
cedive more than 050 letters a day cin
cIa a.ralrage.
Queen Alexandra was not included
In the first censulel of hes husband's
reign. Silo was at the tun' e in Den-
mark. It well be the ;fist eienstas,, for
at any rate sixty years, in which the
Queen of Bonland has' not figured.
Queen Vi,c.t.orea was ude once out of
thie kingdo,m, in eenseee week.
Few maned the Bar are more able
and popular than, 41r. John G. Butch -
ea, K.C„ and member for t.he City, of
York, England. 'The, eon df an Irish
bishop, he had a veny brilliant career
at . Cambridge, ea:pent:tag a double
first and a fellowehip, while hie elder
bx'ather, Prodeseor Dutcher, was a
s:entor classic. In spite of his forty-
six yeaete he is a singularly youthful -
looking tato.ri, and when he first "took
se,lk" was, pc,pularly known as "the boy
QC.," Mr. Butcher es a ke.etni cyclist,
and has been a fine steeplechaser and
hunter.
The now Oont.roller' of the Navy,
Captain W. H. May, R.N., of H.M.S.,
Excellent, has had a very varied ex-.
peeheinee, serving in the Arctic Ex -
SOME BOGUS BRITISHER&
"SUBJECTS" WHO MAKE GREAT
BRJAIN HATED ABROAD.
A rameus south auterlean Finonster—
Counterfeit John null 1st Japan—An
American Flays ate iiriven in Asia.
It is in the perfecting- of all the
by-play of hes proclootions" th,at Sir
Henry Irving excels. , He works as
hard en training the huImaeleist of hi3
people as he does ein bringing out the
meet telling pointe in his own pant.
He raakes the men tiake off their,hats,
There is nothing like pretending to
be a Briton if y,o,u are in for a big
undertaking, for teou 'have the fear
of the Envies., at your back., The
most e,uecessful of recent shath John
Bane was Huy Lopez, the famous
South American filibueter, \AD found
it more eenv,enient to 'be, called John
Philip.
He was a eeetless edvonturer of Ec-
uador, and he wanted to become Pre-
sident of the State. He had already
made twa attemptwith a few hun-
dred men at bi batik, to oust the
reigning President, but had feiled
hopelessly. And, finding. the party in
power waa not at
ALL AFRAID, OF HIM ,
he disappeared ae Buy Lopez, to bob
up again as John Philp, Britisher.
Ile disguised laimeelf as well as •he
eould by shaving his head and aneus-
tache, and he looked. that part better
than meet South Americans because
he had black hair. He got himself up
in strict l3ritiale kir—riding-breeches
and lviatte helmet, and even wore an
eye-glasS. His rivals "did not recog-
niae him. He could talk English flu-
ently, and he gathered together
about 1,500 men and a couple of ma-
chine-guns. He went so far as to call
Aernonia, where he represented him-
eelf to the peasantry as an English
ewe -teeny, who was sent by the British
Govornmeot to levy taxee, and collect;
whatever valuables. the Armenians
had, which WOUltt be etored and pro-
tected.
la -,...eturn for this, 13ritein would
take the Armenians under her espe-
cial care, and protect tlatim from the
terrible raidby the Turke and
Kurile. Armenia at the time wee ter-
ror-stricken by Turkieh massacres,
and had tiome hope of help from Eng-
land. Colonel Stoddart had sal -
dam need for violence anywhere,
for the people yielded up al) they had
to him la moet instances; and he was
Said to be the beet imitation of a Bri-
ton ever turned out. He and his men
fared eunapteously, and altogether he
cleared about £00,000, mostly from the
country traders. What he Was not
given he took. Then he disappeared,
and Turkey took no great trouble to
find him. He is peaceably se,ttled now
in a gorgeous house of his owo in
the Turkish provencee.
BERLIN'S MODEL P. 0. SYSTEM.
Letter BOXe9 Are NawClearN1 Every
Fifteen Minutes.
Although Berlin's postal service IS
the unattainable model for the rest
of Europe, the excellence already at-
tained does not satisfy the postal
authorities. The problem, of course,
is the accurate collection and distri-
bution of raail matter in thceehortest
possible period of time., By a recent
innovation the letter boxes in the
principal thoroughfares are now
cleared every fifteen minutes during,
the busy hours of the day. Mantra.-
tive of the perfection to which the de -
all hia offieera and most of his men partment hi e attained is the ollow-
by Entglesh names, and they were in- ing etory. Also it is an instance in
which etern officialism saved a hu-
man life. A young girl wrote to her
parent e expressing her determination
to commit euicide, and incidentally
mentioned the place where her body
would be found. She melted the let-
ter. filer father received it within
an hour of its being posted, hurried to
the apoit in the Thiergarten, where
the body wag to Inc found; caught his
daughter in the commencement of
her rash attempt, and took her( home.
structed to speak cinly in broken Shea-
itsh and Engaish when dealing with
the country people.
All,South Americans, as Lopez knew
have a great sense of the superiority,
of the Britieh, and his rose succeeded,
for it really waee thought by his ene-
mies that he ,was an Englishman,
backed up by Britain, with British
followers, and, of course, plenty of
money, in which we are all suppoeed,
to be roTiiing.
The aham Philipe +utterly routed the
rival forces in three ethert beetles,
and carried everything 13efore him. Ile
made hinaaelf President Philips of
FRUIT ERIN'S GREEN ISLE
LAWS OF SUCCESSIONO
Many people have been confused by
Ecuador, and ruled for- over ses
menthe befotie. he was found out. Ten the verioue laws of succession which
weeks after the discovery, prevail in Europe. There are three
HE WAS ASSASSINATED. different systems, the raost general
and entspents the length cif their hair. Japan was badly "had" acme time being that known as the Salto sys-
He tit is who awnainges the proportion,- ago by a counterfeit John Bull, who tem, under which women are com-
ate eaements orf youth and age in the really came from Sweden. He was a Iti I dd Thi is the rule in
mole., Mies Terry is of great assis-
tancem to hein planning a produc-
teen. They &settees frankly at the re-
la,earsale whether flat% or that pose or
pasee of bueiness will be more effec-
else. She is very particular about the Swede, whose name was Beetek-
the CrealSt:IC cues, and pifilasta.kin4,T in man, found thee out, he decided to
the oare with which she arranges that Petra 'himself off as an influential
the fortis•sitno p,assage,s shall not Briton, and het a big "deal" out of
coins in est inopportune moments when the Crovetriaulent. .
they drown her vaLce. • He was ae e -et unknown in Japan,
and. he turnd. eup at State, headquar-
eir. Lake Elides, B.A., who has tare with alleged letters fram e1.1
been honoured by the oommand to sorts of powerful British authorities.
paint the !official portrait of the He wanted Japan to give him eome
King, has lat berly painted
big trading ii0i1Ce,Si10)1S and monopo-
.rnany
Ilea, the holding of which meant the
portraits. HES heateknown Pictieees acquisition of millions of money.
are perhape "The Village Wedding" He was as yet unknown in Japan,
wad "The Dolcher." Me- Fades has The name he took was Walter Ade
a ,gacpd story of a nestle twhom, he
employed as a model for the beide-
groom th,e earn:tar work. Soon
after the deeiveng, began the artist
nobie,ed that his melee became very
pale. He made him rest, and present-
ly work was ne,suene,d. The model
seen became more ,gerestly than, ever.
''You don't seem well," said Mr.
gacieS. "Bra a' rigtlat, zthr," answered
the unod,e1, "only foe holding ray
breath so long!" The. poor rustic Im-
agined it was neoessaey for the, per -
treat to be ta,ken that he should hold
his breath the while!
INTERESTING. READING FOR THE
SONS OF OLD IRELAND.
Dole of (Wan:tut:hes ceniniand Distrit.
bonne' teenhui Faperi--The IhIth Vice.
hip,,•Entigration StotisticA, Etc.
The Shamrock League, ae worked. up
by the Countess of Limerick, assisted
by Lady Cleeve, and otiher ei•ish
brought an enormoue demand for "the
choeen loaf of barcl mad chief," and at
the price at which it has been selling
the cultivation of Lhe Slaamroele
ought to be a profitable underlak-
.
leg. ,
It is stated that tho Duke ol Con-
naught is not likely to relinquish his
command in /related for gome Lime—
for a year at least. H.R.H. and the
Duchess intend to pass a great deal
of the ellg111131' at the Ourragle of Kil-
dare. The Duke is, a great favorite
in Ireland, and there was general re-
gret when it was rum.oured that he
was about to leave.
Lord Aelabourne, Lord Chancellor of
big leader in the Eat, and came to
Japan to open op a big business, Belgium, Sweden, Norway, Italy,Den-
Now, the 13,ritiela Ambassador of that mark and Germany. Then there is
time happened to Inc engaged on LU1 the German -Dutch syetem, under
portant matters elsewhere, and when •
which melee in all degrees of relatton-
ship take precedence of females, the
thrones passing to the female line
only in case of the extinction of all
the male linee, however remote. This,
le the rule in Holland—from which it
takes its name—Russia, and some of
the minor Gernaan State. The third
system is our own, under which fe-
melee are excluded when there are
males in the same degree of relation-
ship, but take precedence of males
evhoae degree of relationship is not
ao close as their own. Thus an elder
daughter of the ruling Sovereign gives
way to all her younger brothers and
WES, and he haid, among other things, their issue, but takes precedence of
that -he was a nephew of the Prime male couein or a nephew. This sys-
Miniater of Britain, and the heir to tem is the rule in Spain and Porta -
the "Earldom of IVIestley," which in ,gal as well al in England. ,
unknown In the Beitiali peerage.
The Japanetse have a great rever-
ence for European nobility, and Bjork- BUT HE KEPT THE GOLD.
man, who wan a clever man, and a
master of English, plashed his point Twa young men drew up in( a four -
so well that he obtained the agree- wheeler oPPeeite a famous exhibition
manta he wanted within twenty-four in London. One, having alighted,
hour. When the British Minister re- timidly approached the cabman, and
turned, Inc naturally, denied all know- tendered him one shilling and six pen -
ledge of the mart. But Japan could nies as his fare, whilst the other col -
not well retract, and the Minister, lected their ?sticks an,d parcels, pre -
on looking into the matter, decided 'aleatory to following his companion.
that it would make a bad impreseion, Cabby, descrying a half -sovereign
on the ffapeneee to amongat the coppers, whipped up his
• DENY THE AUTHORITY • horses, and drove frantically up Bak-
er Street. Hearing cries from the
of the man, and decided that theee man, who ran after the cab, he had
wan no way out of it, but to quietly an attack of deafness, until, nearing
wink at the &ham. 13jorlenaan's imper- Oxford Street, he was stopped by a
collation was one of the most fruit- policeman. The man, much out of
ful pieces nf humbug ever br,ought breath, aeon cantle up with the cab,
off In the name- of Witaino for he and CabbY mentally bade good-bye to
quiekly -became the richest foreigner the he1fe5hhereign.
in Japan, and amaaeed over Z2,000,- I ain't got. nothin' of his! cried the
And then, euro enough, my old sim-
pleton of a relative let his cat• out.
He had 'been done brown by that old
brute Barker, svho had cleared off
with the proceeds, and left poor Uncle
M. to face the music. After long
argument I got him definitely to pre-
pare for the Southampton -Havre
route to Paris the next evening. In-
nocent though he eves, Inc could not
be allowed to consign himself to a
prison. One thing more.
A mysterious battalion got up up at
the unholy hour of five the next.
einorning. There was a train from
Greenclale at 5%59. She might—ay, and
she was on the platform, with a
white, at, eelf-saerificial face, which,
hovveVrer, epeedily matched her tam
for colour when elite saw me. I just
took her by tbe arm, Bfted her bag,
and fed her back to the; hamlet. And,
believe me, 1 scarcely let her mit of
ray sight again till we'd fixed things
to sueh a- point that there was no
wetting even for a young ladY-detec-
tive (amateur) to give me the elip.
The Duke of Cornwell always per-
,
farmed hes full duty whe.n he was an
officer in the Nary. While (sailing
under Admiral Sir F. Bedford, the ves-
sel was c,oalenta- off Symena, when a
comfortable Teerkenh. Pasha camo on
board to pay his respects to the
,g,randson• of the great Queen. After
being received with due ceremony he
asked for H.R.H., and was pointed dun
O coal-be,gremed officer who was
superintending the coaling opera-
tions. Anyan,e who knows what
coaling =saes on based a man-of-war
• will at owe uneleeste.nd the condi-
tion in whic,h. the ,D,ake, of York was
at the time. The look of inceedoli-
ty and offended dignity on the face
of the Paeha cannot possibly Inc ex-
pressed en, words, and to this day Inc
believes that the matter was an ill -
tinned joke at dais expens•e. •
Ireland, comes in for a nice perquisite
by the accoesion of the King to the
throne. The new povereign com-'
mencing to reign makes an order foe,
the nehug of a new. Great Seal and
the "breaking -up" consists in the sov-
ereign giving the eeal a gentle tap!
oith a hammer, after which it is,supd
posed to Inc broken up and has lose
all its value. j
The men of the Royal Irish Consta-
bulary were busy distributing the
census papers all over Ireland re-
cently. This is causing a great feeling,
of uneaeiness, as a visit from "the
peeler" in the oat -of -the -way dis-
tricts, forebodes evil as a rule. There
is a general feeling on the part of,
the people that any inforraation given
will be used against themselves in
some mysterious way.
The !shamrock was, as usual, the
eubject of a Parliamentary discus-
sion. This time it was the Woolwich
Cadet% who, had been ()rushed int their
"wearin' o' the green." ;Some of the
eadets appeared at church parade on
St.Patrick's, Day, with such enormousj
bunches of the "chosen loaf" as to
cause an amount of jocularity and.
unsteadiness in the ranks, and the, of-
ficera on 'duty felt called upon to di-
rect the removal of the shamrock in
the interests of the respect due ta
divine eervice.
A good „story is told of an Irish'
ae rige a n o
who was wun.ded in the
head and invalided home from South
A.frica. The doctor who removed the
bullet accidentally removed a little
bit of the brain with it. Prompted
by a eense of humour he wrote to the
sergeant and asked him. if he tv,ould
th
like ee bit of his brain returned to
him. The sergeant, with true Irish
wit, replied; "Thank you, no, I shall
not want it, as I have got a situa-
tion in the War Office." •
The decision of Earl Cadogan to re -
000- • driver, turning appealingly to the
(Americana have erteet, found it pay policeman.
to become temporary Britona waen ye hevl gasped tho man. Ye ran
trying for a hig thing—eapecially ill away wi° me feyther!
Asia—and the moat da,ring ot them Sure enough, there was the old gen-
all was eertainly the notorious Lin_ tleman etill in the cab, and staring,
coin Forbee, who " ruehed" . the pale with fright, at the crowd and
Airneer of In.fghanista.n, a.nd risked his peaweman.
life in doing it. Hi a reason for be- thantalin____
coming a '°1aln ii3lrilm was
simply • Mr. William. Alle,n, a workman
D.A.RENG- FR,kur) ;
and he wan, very nearly euceessful. employed at the Patent Fuel. Works,
Sun,e. eland En lend. has been ad -
Ile picked hie time for visiting the d , e'
Ameer's Court at Kabul, jut at the judged by the Royal 'Humane Society
LIVELY !—WHEN HE MEETS HER! enc,m.e.nt when nobody was preeent to have been during tlae course of last
An ofeicer, who had been recently who 'could "bow hem .up," and pre -
year "the bravest man in England,"
eented hieneelf as Joseph Arkwright,
traneferred to a new garrison town and was reenatly presented with, the
in the be,rviee of the British Cavern -
was highly displeased to find that the relent, The. Ameer owed the Govern- gold medal of th,e ec,ceety. His der -
grans -plots an the exercising ground ment a sum of nearly, £70,000, which
of the troops were largely utilized by wasabout to be paid, and it was this'
e
the inhabitante of the little town for that Forbewas after.
Clad in Angio -,Indian riding -kit, he
the purpoee ot bleaching their linen. managed. to get int o the presence of
He at once issued peremptory orders
that all certificate % of leave for this
privilege were to be withdrawn.
Nevertheless, a few days later, as
he marched his troops on the ground
for exercise, he found the . whole
grase-grosvn surface completely cov-
ered with every description of
washed linen. • Intensely mortified
at title - contemptuous treatment of
his orders, he commanded his troops
to go through every epecies of evo-
lutien—onarch, coUnter-march, right-,
about-face, e,te.—over the innocent
bed-eheets, shirte, ate., etc., until sud-
denly, pale aa death, and with loose
flying hair, tbe eomnaanding officer's
ciWn eervent-maid rushed. On to the
scene and, wringing her hands, broke
fortis into the lament:—
"Gracious; me, master, sir! what
will the inii%glit nay?"
What the "MioSis"- had t'O gay to
the ruthloss destroyer Of his own
:
the Araeer with a Act ,of forged pa-
pers, and he actually eucceeded in
convincing the prim monarch oil his
genuineness. Hehad some camels and
an aemed teepee to take the money
away. It was paid. in gold, and the
sum wee handed enter to him. (He
would have bee,n impaled alive had
the truth been gueased. He got over
the harden, however, and tried the
desperate plan of ',escaping through'
Kaferistan; a deadly country; but the
alaem wee raiSed,eancl he was captur-
ed, by a Britten) petrel. Ile is still do-
ing time in the Andaman penal settle -
One of the biggest and moat 'whole-
sale pihlaging expeditiona on record
wan made by a eham -John Bull, who
called himself Colonel Stoddart, but
was really a plausible Turk ,by the
name of &dim Hassan. He organised
a, foa•ce of about twenty menall rig-
ged out in English
linen has. Wei regret to interne the
CAMPAIGNING CLOTHES,
reader, not been neinalurk"tecl,teiandtahlelerttirm":041.0noWilt,'li' tilile133'd%aaellethdeinidseolnf
heiard about me and Marie, ike did Uncle 51, got to Franeoi sa,w tne •
tain the Irish Viceroyship for another
year iebelieved tobe not unconnected
with a proepective visit of the King
and Queen to Ireland when the period
of Court mourning is over. King Ed-
ward is known to hold the view ghat
a royal visit shouldbe paid at lease'
once a year to the sister island. His
Majesty is credited with the intention
of making his first entry into Dublin
as, king in great state. Partly un-
der pressure from the sovereign, and
partly to oblige Lord Salisbury, Lord
Cadogan will stay on at the castle.
In extraordinary occurrence •took
place in Dublin recently. A car driver
naraed Bolger had an altercation with
two aoldiers and assaulted them,
when he wan arrested by the police,
and after arrest broke spree glass in
the Clarendon police station. He evite
brought before the police inagietratee
whodeclined to decide the case, send -
log it on for trial. Bolger, who wile
allowed out on bail, was greatly in-
censed, thinking himself badly treat-
ed, and proceeded to 'Mr. Byrne'e
house in Leeson atreat, .Graining ad-
mittance, he rushed into a room and
commenced demolishing the fume
ture with a blackthorn. He sraashed
up a handsome clock, furniture, etc.,
to the tune, of over 23. He will un-
doubtedly be severely punished.
The emigration etatistics of Ire-
land for the year 1950 have just beee
presented to Parliament on the auth-
ority of the Begiatrar-General of Ire.
land. The number of emigrants whc
left Irish ports last year eves, 47,107,
being an increase of 3,317, ae cam,
pared with the number in 1399. The
number of malas who emigrated last
year was 23,295, or 2,727 more than
in the previous year, and of famine
23,812, an increase, of 620. Of tht
47,101 emigrant e in 1900, 45,288 were
natives of Ireland, and 1,819 weri
natises oi other countries. Compark
with the corresponding figures fet
1899, the number of emigrants native(
of Ireland ',shows an increase of 4,064
but the number of persons belonging
tcp other countries shows a decreaet
lug el,eed was pealcuireed OD eilarch el 709,
15th, 1900, evh,e,n a mien named M'Lead
was dv,e,rpovieneel by the ftemes in 41:1
e,trepty still at the warks referred to.
A calleatgue on, going to his rescue
was oleo overr-powered, and t,h,e same,
fate befell a,nother man' who bravely
attempted toeffe,ct a double rescue.
Allen, with indomitable pluck. insist -
eel on being lowered into the still, and
eve.nbuelly was eucceestal 10 bring-
ing 'out all three anon, one at a lime
Afilen was presented with the silver
medal, but the soetety ;recently de-
cided that the act. was the bravest
deed of 1900, and therefore awarded
him the geld medal.
A timid odd lady was on board a
steamer in the Gulf of Florida. She
worried ono of the eailors to such, an
exteet with que,stions as to the ves-
eel's safety that Inc at last resorted
to etrategy to silence her. .
rin awfully nervous on the water,
ahe remarked that afternoon, for the
fiftieth time. Are you quite sure,
MY man, that people are never drowri-
ed in this bay?
Incleed, I am, mum, was the reply.
The 'sharks never let anybody drown
hereabouts.
REGIMENTAL COLOURS.
eVilee,n the cc:lours of a regiment are ,
Loa old for furth,er USD, they; tire gen-
erally hung up in a cathedra,' or
pariah church of the 'territorial dis-
trict to Which the, reginee.nt belongs.
But some few years ago some old
cceoure of tele 55th, Weetneorel and,
Regiment were discovered 'hidden
awaY in the r3CCISS33 (:).[ is pawnbrok-
ing establishment in London. These
,00loure dated back ito 176), and there
is every reason to believe ehat they,
had been lying in the ,slicip for about
a century. They were discovered by
accident, as so xnany other relies of
former times have been, but there vvas
no recor,c1 to show how they came
ther,e.
When an editor is in a hurry he
docen't waste ;words by saying, It
rained. He simply writes', After,
many daya •arid desiccation Alio
vapoury captaine mainhalled their e
ttlatindering hots, an 1 riallred 011.L
tea eatoeching humanity atid the fhor-
oughly vegetation s fesv
inch,e.e of aqua pluVinlis„