HomeMy WebLinkAboutExeter Advocate, 1899-12-28, Page 711,
CONTENT..
Sad 1 s chance to shape my lite anew,
The sense to know the shoddy from the tn*.,
I could not hope to gain ao fair a biles
As lavish fortune gave me, dear, in you.
could not hope se fair a blies to gain,
The lack whereof would leave existence rat;,
Wherefore have I no shadow of desist
To blot away my penury and pele.
ter penury and pain to blot ewer,
Ata, comrade of my spirit„ who oat say
That he has pain whose unavailing pangs
$o colt a hand is lifted to aliayi
And penury/ Why, that is but a name
To wheal feels divine afrectfoa's dame,
Better the glow of mutual lave beside
The humblest hearth than loneliness in tins..
I ask no mote than fust to bide with you,
To blend a little gladness with the rue,
And, 'alien ,day clay fa mingled with the dust.
To dream of our delight the ages through.
Frank Putnam in National. Magazine..
VNIiI[!11!li111111NII1Illllil11ll11l h1Ili1111llhIHlli11fIHij
k DARK MISTAKE
It Ls Dasaf'e. to Blake Lore With-
out Seeing the rt Meet of
Affection.
ilittllliltltitlllltllltlllplilllllltttttilllllllllltllllllllilittr
"No use burning all these lights
down bete. VB just have to till them
In the morning, and uo use making me.
Werk fur nothing." and the old: sexton
turned clown the Quo lamp burning In
the chandelier in the room and went
out, leaving the door .ajar, The tight'
flickered for a few moments until an
`,.'" 'titer door was opeeed, :and then, with 11
one bright flash, It died out.
Up stairs thele watt much laugbleg
and Wising grI tits) busy hands put the
finishing touches to the church decora-
tions for the morrow.
"There- I think that Is as well as we
eat( do," and Nellie Collier stepped'
back to survey the work. "We need a
small piece of rope to reach across that
seat yet, fleeter," she said, turning to
Dr. Graham, wbo was standing beside'.
her. "Two of these letters In that cep -
ter motto are crooked. You .straighten
them, please, while I get the rope. I
know where there Is a piece that will
just do," and she hurried down the
stairs.aud ran against Mr. Pitcairn as
he was entering iris study,
"'Mew! Dark as can be," she said
bale aloud as she entered the small an-
teroom
n-ter oou and felt her way over the closet
under the stairs,
Piteairc went into his study, his
thoughts in a tumult. For months Nel-
lie Collier's laughing face had been
haunting pini, and he often found that
his eyes rested on her whets he was
preaching.
IIe waited a few minutes and then
niet the little white robed figure as she
was about leaving the room,
"Nellie, I want to tell you some-
thing:" he said, taking hold of the
Bands which were full of rope.
"I have been wanting to tell you for
a long time that I love you. I don't
trunk that you can be surprised, for
you must bave seen that I love you
dearly, and I hope that it has not been
distasteful to you, has it?"
There was no answer, but there was
no attempt to withdraw the hands that
he held.
"I am not an adept at lovemaking,
darling. Will you be my wife. Nellie?"
"I never thought that you cared for
me," she murmured. "You never no-
ticed me much, and I thought you
cared for others," came in a low voice.
"I must have hid my feelings more
than I thought, but it was because I
loved you so tbat you thought that I
neglected you. A minister is watched
so much and has to be so very careful.
But can you love me, darling, enough
to be my wife?"
He could scarcely bear the answer,
but he suddenly clasped her in his
arms. No matter what happened for
a. few minutes. It was the first time
that be had been in love, and the room
was dark. He remembered afterward
that he even thee felt surprised to find
that she was so small.
"I must be going, darling," be said
at last as be heard some one entering
the nest room. "There is a commit-
tee meeting in my study. I will come
up stairs as soon as I can," and, giv-
ing her a last kiss, he hurried front,
the room.
He was in no humor for a business
meeting, and the good brethren must
have thought tbat their young minis-
ter was growing frivolous, he seemed
so light hearted and laughed several
times when they were discussing im-
portant business. The truth was he
scarcely knew what was said or done,
and as soon as the laet one had depart-
ed he hurried up stars. Nearly every
one had gone, but. Nellie, "bis Nellie,"
was busy arranging some last flowers
in a vase, and Dr. Graham was stand-
ing beside her and whispering some-
thing to her while she just shook her
_head and laughed,
gale merely glanced .up as be ap-
proacbed.
"What do you think of the decora-
tions?" she asked.
"They are fine, very fine," he answer-
ed, trying to meet her glance, but she
had turned baek.to Dr. Graham, and
ry
for a moment he was angry. a
"Pshawl How unreasouable I am,"
he said to himself. How much more
thoughtful she. is so as not to attract
attention."
So he walked away until he saw her
preparing to leave.
"Axe you ready to go now?" he asked
In a low tone. "bo you want to take
this basket along?"
"Why, yes --but," .she hesitated an
instant, • "Dr. Graham will help ire
with my things;"
He suddenly dropped the basket.
"Why, Nellie,' it is my place, not that
fellow's," he esclaimcd. •
Nellie Collier's face flushed. "I do
not see how you can claire that right
,,any mare than ;you have to epeak, of
Dr. Graham in that manner," she said
haughtily.
"Wha, Nellie, I think that what pass -
,ed between us this evening would cer-
i fainly give me the right."
"Why, Mr. Pitcairn, what could pos-
Isibiy have passed between us? You
must be laboring under some mistake,"
she exclaimed in surprise, "I saw you
'when you game into the church and
'had scarcely spoken to you until you
came here a, few minutes ago,"
. "What do you mean, after what was
said in the anteroom wbea you, were
after rope?"
"Ur. Pitcairn, if you bad any convex
,sation with any one down stairs it cer-
tainly was not with pie. I went down
after rope, but I was not gone two min-
utes, and you in
was not the .oil
down stairs afte
have made any
company a you
ing it was not x
ant, and tier blac
ly, and he knew th
BIS discomfiture.
lir. Pitcairn grew
VII forgive you fo
ham a fellow if you d
for he is"—she hesitated.
"a very particular friend a
you and'1 have been such g
that I will tell you a secret — u
gaged.
"Oh, you little torment! I til
known that you would try"—
claimed, his face all aglow.
"Why. Mr. P.iteairu, how caul
have kltowu It, when we did not
it ourselves until this evening? An
dou't know what the doctor will sa
my telling you."
lair. I'itcalru staggered back against
a seat. "`I --I n iib you every happi-
ness," he stammered, then he turned to
examining the flowers until after they
had left the church. IIe felt dazed, and
he certainly pinched Liwselt to see that
he was not dreaming as he went down
stairs to his study.
"A pretty .kettle of fish I've got into,"
he exclaimed, as he threw himself into
a chair and kicked the footstool which
Miss Reynolds bad made across the
room. "Lost the girl I wanted and en-
gaged myself to somethtufi I don't
want, and I haven't any idea who it
is!"
He lit a match and went over to the
anteroom. There lay a piece of rope ou
the floor and beside it a ilaintly per-
fumed bundker'4hlef. IIe picked them
up and went back to his study. He re-
membered now that be noticed the
sent of violets as lie held Ler In his
arms. It e'ost hint a struggle to give up
Nellie Collier. Ile sat and thought un-
til long after tnidnight. Ile studied
over all the Neliies of Lig eougregatlon.
There was Miss Iteyuoids, but she was
too stout, he thought, with a great Kroh
of relief; Miss :tiattern was too tall. It
was some one whose heed just reached
his shoulder. He had called her Nellie,
be was certain of tlmt, with some love
epithets thrown in. She was small and
dainty and, whoever she was, evident-
ly loved him.
If he found she was some one who
would not suit hlm, well, he would
bave to get out of it in some way.
But, whoever she was, her presence
seemed to haunt bins as he sat there.
Ile could feel her arms around his
neck and the pressure of her head
against his shoulder, and he felt an
intense longing to again bold the little
white robed figure in his arms and feel
her warm breath on his cheek. And
he—dignified minister that he was—
picked up the handkereblef and kissed
it passionately.
He scarcely knew how he got
throngb the next day. He was thank-
ful tbat the services were such that
be did not have to give a. regular ser-
mon. He studiously avoided looking
at
tbe choly, where Nellie Collier was
sitting, until near the close of the
evening services, when, while Elinor
Vandever was singing a solo, he turned
that way, and for a moment their eyes
met, her voice faltered for an instant
and then rang out clear and sweet. He
nearly let the hymnbook he was hold-
ing fall to the floor in his surprise, and
a sudden feeling of relief came over
bim.
Elinor Vandever! He had never
thought of her, and yet he knew tbat
her pet name at home was Nellie. She
had always been so reserved that he
had never dreamed that she would
care for him, but there was no mis-
taking that look. •
"What a dear little thing she is. I
don't think that I will want to give ber
up. I-4 have been very fortunate,"
he said to himself as he met her at the
foot of the stairs and drew her little
hand on his arm. "Last evening you
didn't"- He paused a moment.
"You—you were . not angry?" she
whispered anxiously: "You were busy
talking to Nellie Collier„and Aunt Min-
nie was ready to go, and I didn't know
how to get out of -not going along with
her. I thought you would understand
:t.”
"Well, if I didn't have you last night
I have you tonight," he said tenderly,
pressing the little hand to his side.-
Chicago News
st remember that I
one who had been
things. and if you
o Be—
en-
"TRY. TRY AGAiN."
Tee, 'tis an old, old saw indeed;
Yet, e'er you scorn, I ask you
The proverb in new light to read.
I promise not to task you,
The simple words yield not minae
Earth's secret of successes.
Who grasps their deeper thought doth oware
The key to all that blesses—
To conquest o'er besetting sin,
The saddened soul dejecting;
Ta prayer that doth full answer win;
To character perfecting;
To heaven itself, reached by no bbund,
But theirs who, struggling duly,
Domount life's ladder, round by round,.
As sings the poet truly.
Aye, more than world wise is he
Who heeds this saying. olden.
Ills shall tine "ltieti doged, plaudit be.
The crown and scepter golden.
—Good housekeeping.
84011404elatefeeeeeeteettellitenefieelteill
ANOTHER MAN
IN THE HOUSE.
Wes rdistaken Por a. Lover, but
Confessed.'s'lust Ile Was e,
Bairalor.
est 00 a 43001 lDOf34
knelt at the door and put
'ar at the keyhole. There
sound of breathing, as
gbue pressed his rough
the brassy aperture
tined even more in -
yes glistened in the
e eyes of a cat (he
"The Cat" for this
here 'tCas no Qne
base gilatehling
est Asleep two
occupants at
wietclled that
and nights.
npied by a
evidently
oubt rich,
were a
and be
a mind
ed her
the
• A. Grasshopper For Luck.
Should you he reposing In summer In.
a meadow and a grassbopper happens
to jump on you by . no means drive
him away. Welcome and cherish him,
which is best done by perfect qui-
escence.
• Whether his usual merry disposition
or his blithe hopping over sorts of
difficulties has auy association with
the notion we know not, but the popu-
larity of the grasshopper is ancient
and distinguished enough, the .Greek
species having been favorites with all
the .poets from ,Horner 'and Hesiod to.
Anncreon and Theocrat's: So Much
did the Athenians admire them that
they were eceustotned to fasten golden
figures of them to their hair, and they.
were alwnys. ,addressed by the most
endearing epithets. The sound of the
gr•a.sshopper t9 elven es welcome : and
naturally of good omen, alluding, as It
were, to sum tnc'r and , sunshine.—
Gen-tleman's Magazine.
lm
eye
stori
this o
house t
IIe tine
young m,
newly roar
He knew t
cot, two Ina
bad almost w
just where the
jewelry when she
second floor room au ' U8
the husband took to s
bly well filled purse.
'When one is in the b
social ealls ot the deseript
aghue was aniking, it Is mu
find husiiands away from
servants and occupants of t
all asleep and the policeman
beat quite out of hearing,.
The fact was Douagbne shranl
notoriety, Ile preferred a, qute
trance by the window wholly u
served if possible and, departing,
not his card nor anything else that v,
of value and at the same time poi
ble. Indeed Dona ;hue was not th
tall, handsome fellow that most heroes
are, On the contrary, he was of medi-
um height, spare, slouchy and bad a
general appearance' that was anytbing
but prepossessing. He was not a mem-
ber of polite society.
"Dead easy," said Donaghue to him-
self. "A young married couple. as 1
thought, and busband's away on the
loose. She's calling his name to her
sleep. But I needn't expect him until
,Horning, and when he does come home
he'll probably be drunk. That's what
I call dead easy."
He turned the knob of the door and
opened it the fraction of an inch. His
small eyes glistened in the dark as be
found that the door was not locked,
and that in all probability it would not
squeak.
Slowly and with infinite care he
opened the door and entered the room.
Four .feet from him, as he stood al-
most breathless, with his hand still
clasping tbe knob of the door, lay the
sleeping form of a woman. A flood of
moonlight from tbe window fell upon
her and melted the pink of her cheek,
the cream of her throat, the lace of the
nightdress and the white sbeet that
wrapped ber into one semigolden hue.
The undulation caused by her breath-
ing made her look like a drooping lily
swayed by the gentlest of breezes.
"Great heavens!" thought Donaghue,
"what a beauty!" He could hear ber
faintly mutter the name "Paul—Paul"
at intervals, and he had a vague con-
sciousness of a certain disrespect for
Paul, whoever he might be. A man
must be a brute to leave such a wom-
an alone at night. He lingered but a
moment, though. Beauty was a thing
of little value to Donaghue. His own
Maggie was hardly cursed with tbe
fatal gift of beauty. and she was quite
as jealous as otber wives. He stepped
softly and quickly to the dressing case
at the otber end of the room. He pick-
ed up a perfumed lace handkerchief
and threw it away impatiently, al-
though in his more youthful days a
lace handkerchief he would have con-
sidered a prize of no mean value. Be-
low it be found what he wanted and
expected—a locket and chain, a' jewel-
ed watch, a 'heavy bracelet, a pin and
what seemed to him a handful of
rings. He beld them all up in tbe moon-
light and not"eed how they sparkled in
his trembling hand, and he smiled with
delight.
He turned and looked at her. He
felt like adding a stolen kiss t
o the,
other Jewels be had taken. He almost
tr
1 such a
laughed aloud at the thought of
a Ia'.
man as he kissing such a peerless
beauty as the woman who lay on the
bed before' him. And he was just
about to depart as peacefully as a so-
cia! caller when suddenly be beard the
slamming of the frant door in the hall
below.
"Her old man, said Donaghue, for-
getting that be was probably a young
man, "and I'm caught. • Caught—bur-
gtary—teu years at the least. I'll kill
him. lint I'll be caught whether 1
kill him or not, and"—self upbeaiding•,
could have got away easily
enough If I haclu't stopped to look at
her." ,
Again he stepped quickly to the door
and listened. IIe heard footsteps in
the hall beneath. The man had stets
ped into the back parlor, or library,
whichever it was. Perhaps the nhau
had been out on business and would
stop there for a miuute or two at his
desk. Perhaps there was. ;after all. a
chane for escape. Ile was cool and
careful. Ile dropped the jewels ou
the bed. It would not do to be caught
with them about him. And be went
out.
The door squeaked this time. and the
young wife started in her sleep. awoke
and half rose in her bed,
Donaghue at the same time heard
the shuttle of feet in the room below.
Ile paused anditstened at the top ot
the stairs.
Even though the man had beard the
door squeak, be bad not left the back
room.
Donaghue tripped down the stairs
as softly as a cat. He bad been to a
tight fax before. and be was never
eleverer than when he knew that he
was in danger.
But luck was against him. Thera
was a fur rug at the foot of the stairs.
The floor beneath was polished, Ile
slipped and fell, and in spite of himself
Ile uttered an exclaruation tbatwas pro-
fane enough to be unmistakably was -
He beard the wan rush from
the library. and how it all happened
be hardly hnt•w. but some way or other
he managed to ilasli lute the dark par-
te:. to throw open the window and
jump out.
IIe cxpeeted to fall at Ieast efgft or
ten feet. IIe did uut fall two. Ile had
jnmj ekl out on a porch evidently. for
he multi see the railing in the moon-
light. There wasone t o o—t
1„ l ll ae i s thing a d tri
nide directly beneath the window in
the shadow and wait. Fie bnew hit
pursuer would be there in a moment,
Ile knew there would be a hue null cry.
Still. there was a chance.
True enougb, the ishan came to the
window; but, to the Iut'iulte surprise of
1)on:mime, be made no outcry. lie
heard the man utter a bait articulate
"Heaven! bas it come to tike?" Ile
heard hila walk a few steps and strike
n uiatela. Ile" saw the light of the gas
hes from the window. aud then ho
knew that be Was safe, and he curs:t'd
himself for a fool for teariug the
jewels behind.
Ile heard a woman's step in the
r.e,.uu. The man at the window turned,
allow dare you look in in the facet"
('vied. "How Clare you come to mo
fter this?"
Calmly the woman raised herself to
feet and, looking at the ratan, said
forced s-hieper:
What do you mean?"
\haat do I mean? You know what
'ran," answered the man. "Ile has
here at lust -perhaps not for the
me. But I have found it out. i
and you ort."
Anne heard a little 'stifled moan
crash of a body as It fell on the
began to gather a crude idea
of It was ail about. He had hand'
sa erieuces with Maggie. He had
he us himself once. He raised
bird: little higher and peered over
the si the window.
The an nits not moaning now,
but in a ad faint, and. with ber face
as white s the sbeet that had covered
her in th' room above, she lay motion-
less at the*feet of the man wbo accused
her.
The man stood over her with burning
cheeks and clluched hands,
"And the cur ram away from you?
He didn't even stay to fight me like a
roan! Ile's a coward. I knew it when
we met him in Baden. He's a villain.
I knew it when be followed us to Lon.
don. He can take you now. I don't
want you. And some day he'll run
away from you. poor. beautiful, mis-
erable fool, just as be has run away
from me."
There was considerable human na-
ture in Donaghue, even though he did
make his living in a peculiar way.
This was a little more than he could
stand. He jumped up and leaped back
through the window.
"Look here!" he shouted, and then
was suddenly silent, for a pair of
strong bands were clasped about his
throat, and the heavy weight of the
:anger man had borne frim to the floor
In a moment.
"You, such a being as you, my wife's
lover!" roared the man.
"`ot" screamed Donaghue, making a
desperate effort to free himself.
"Well, wbo are you?" said the man.
"Let me sit up and I'll tell you." an-
swered Donaghue. '
'l'be man released him, still keeping
him within arms' wench in tbe corner
of the room. Donaghue felt tits throat
tenderly.
"Well?" saki the man peremptorily.
"Ptn the man that was in the house,"
said Donaghue sullenly.
"What do you menu? Wby were you
here?" asked the man.
"Weil," answered Donaghue, regain-
ing some of his customary bravado.
"1 wanted to add some of your jewelry
to my collection. See? if you don't
believe me, you'll find it where 1
threw It away, up 'in your wife's
room." •
The man turned and dropped to his
knees by the side of the prostrate
woman. 'Heni ut
llseartobr
e heart,
and when he raised his head again
r
Donri hue sawthere tLat were tears
in his eyes.
"Thank God, she has only fainted,"
said the man. "Bring ete some water
from the library."
Donaghue brought the water In •
solid silver pitcher that made biro'sigb
With a vain wish that he had got away
with it and the jewels above,
. "She will be all right in as moment;"
said the man, "and you may. go."
"Thanks," said I)onagllne nonebal-
antly, going toward the. window.
"Perhaps It is 1 who ought to thank
you," said the mart, "for, atter all, you
;have proved tbat my wife is true to.
Inc."
"Don't mention it," answered Donn-
ghue, as he disappeared—"at least not
to the police." --Chicago Herald,
TO REPEL BORES.
lugenione Device of u New Orlenzan
Itttelnes:, Ftst7q,
"The time of alanost every man in
active life is terribly taxed by useless
visitors," said a busy New Orleans
shipper. "I mean people who come on ,
foolish errands, tedious friends who
drop in to chat and don't know when
.uuexa#ion.
"Pae a," said the beautiful girl;. "did.
you know that Harold Is an sumex-
ationist?"
"Oh, be is,, is be?' growled the old
roan. "Well, I'll bot that Harold does
not know any more about annexation
than a. cow knows about. gunpowder ",
."Oh, yes, he does."
"When be talks, about annexation, I
don't believe he even knows wbat he
wants to annex." persisted the old
Alan,
• "`Yes, indeed, he does," asserted the
beautiful girl.
"'Well, what is it?"
,"Me.„
to go, and the small army of agents, Naturally, after being then made .the
victim of a confidence game, there was
nothing for the old man to do except
to say, "Bless you, my children," --Chi-
eago lost.
canvassers. solieitorS and the like, who
in the aggregate consume many pre-
clans
are clans hours every day.
"I have a scheme for disposing of
such bores that works to a ebarru,
whole secret lies in that eldair beside
niy rolltop desk. It is very innocent `.
looking, as you will observe, but it has ?
some marked peculiarities. To begin
with, it is firmly attached to the poor
and is so placed that whoever sits in It °
faees a hood of light, while 1 myself
am in the shadow. Then, again, the
back Is very straight and very nar-
row, It • has no arms, and the seat
pitches slightly forward, the front be -
lug half au incl; lower than the rear.
"It is utterly inipeeeible for any bore
to sit to that chair four eouseeutivee
minutes. With female boot: agents it
is peculiarly egleat'ious, for the simple :.
reason that such callers are severally `.
83 or over, and no woman of that age
can sit quiet in the glaring daylight un-
der the Balm scrutiny of a, man in the
shadow. The coolest of them lose their
self possession. twist, wriggle and soon
fly the spot, Then, again. the straight
back and absence of arm prevent the'
occupant from assuming that graceful
sidelong attitude without wbieb no
woman is able to converse.
"With male bores it is equally dead 1
ly. All garrulous leen either tilt back i
when they are talking or lean forward
impressively with their elbows on tbe
arms. The two poses seem to be eases-
tial to a flow of language, and neither
of them is possible here. Wben they a
find that the legs are attached to the
floor and search in vain for a rest for '
their elbows, they lose the thread of
their story, look miserable for a mo-
ment and then beat a retreat.
"The pitch of the seat simply adds to
the general dlscunl""urt of the matetine.
One finds oneself continually sliding
off without knowing wily. It is very
disconcerting, I wouldn't take any-
thing for that chlor. It has saves) me
thousands of dollars"—New Orleans ,
Times -Democrat.
Danger Paaft,
' lir. Rockingham—Now, Margaret, I
want you to economize. I want you
to save every cent you can.
airs. 'Rockingham—Why, Alexander,
I thought you said the other day that
prosperity had returned—that you
were making barrels of money.
Mr. Rockingham --Yes; that's why I
want you to economize. You can do it
now, and it won't make any difference
whether you excite suspicion or nat.--
Chicago Times -Herald.
A Wise Precaution.
"Marse Tom," said the old family
servant, "1 wants my Chris'mas gif'
right now, of you please, sub."
"Hadn't you better wait till Christ-
mas comes?"
"No, sub—dat wouldn't be business,
kase you know yo'self, Marse Tom, dat
'w'en Chris'mas come you is mos' in-
gin'rully too drunk ter know what day
it is!"—Atlanta Constitution.
Post Obiturn.
"What do you suppose," asked the
teacher of the class in Englisb liter-
ature, "the poet had in mind wbefi he
used the words 'a day that is dead?'
"He was thinking," answered tbe
young man with the bad eye; "of the
days when he hadn't done a t'hingg
kill time."--Chlcago Tribune.
A Stab With a Kiss.
Mand—Do you know I really believe
that Tom is going to propose.
Ethel—I noticed that he was looking
terribly sad about something or other,
but then, yon know, dear, it may not
be that. Perhaps his mother is i11 or
he isn't feeling well himself.—Answers.
Opportunity.
"I'd like to cateb my husband husk-
ing corn!" exclaimed the proud daugh-
ter of the humble farmer.
"Well, goto the buskin bee tonight,
dear," replied ber mother. "Perhaps
that's the way you will catch him."—
Yonkers Statesman.
Hardly Probable.
She-Pronxise me, Reginald, that even
if your have should grow cold, you will
never beat mei—New York. Journal.
Cut to — o.
Airs. 13ibbits=So you have named
'your girl. twin Henrietta?
Airs. Tibbits—Yes, but 1 changed it a
little. It was such a long name that 1
•gut It to two' and called the boy henry
and the girl Etta.—Chicago News.
llltutrated quotation
e1; .t
if/r1
Fliat musio in my heart 1 bora
Long atter it was heave no mora
Wordsworth.
—Jtttly,
No Doubt of It.
"Is he wbat you would calla cul-
tured person?"
"Cultured! Well. I should say so.
Be knows twice as much about the
history of ancient Greece as he dont;
about the history of the United States.
And he can do a problem in trigonotn-
etry is ane -third the time it would
take him to calculate the interest ea
a 00 day note. Cultured! Well, 1
guess!"—Washington Star.
Bspl:Ousel,
"What does the phrase 'fintslled
goods' mean?" arcked the reporter who
was temporarily assisting In the eom-
merelat department as be looked up
from a memorandum that lay on his
table.
"'Finished goods`' " replied the•com-
mercial editor, "means whisky or any
man who drinks a great deal of It"—
Chicago Tribune.
Bobby Just Wanted to Know.
Bobby—Are you in tbe show buei-
ness, Mr. Wedder?
Mr. Wedder (with eight children) --
Why, no, Bobby. What made you think
so?
Bobby—Oh, I heard.papa tell Irate 1t
she married you she'd have a whole
menagerie to look after.— BrookIy'
Life.
No Wonder life Dietl.
Here is a unique verdict by a ear
per's jury en a man who was killed
a switch engine:
"We, the.jury, find that the dere.
came to his death at the hands
switch engine after bean sat on b
coroner for two hours and a half
Tanta Constitution.
A Distinction.
Cholly—What is tbe differen
tween a man who litres at his „
and one who bas intermittent i
tism?
Tolly—One is well all the tim=
has rooms at his mother's; the oth
well sometimes and has rheuma
others.—Life.
Deceitful, but Delightful.
"What makes you think little
Jones has such delightful manner:
`Because 1 know she hates the
sight of me, yet I never call there
she doesn't make me believe sh
charmed with the privilege of e
taining me."—Detroit Free Press.
Stumped. 1
Miss Poeticus Soulful (just fin
an' inspired sonnet)—
And as the silent shadows steal
Athwart the day dead sky
In solitude I gaze and feel
Aeaven wafted like a—like a-
He Ought to Be Ostracize
It a young than ought to pay
for telling about a kiss w
was no kiss, how much ougli
man . to pay for telling ab
when there was a kiss'
World.
A Su
"Dr. Pocus, d
don't worry the
"Well; 1 alw
tients indulge
ety about pa
Record.
We used to know 't
room for doubt—
By 'th
By the v gra
sing -about,
ety the frost and by thetp
nus other things
To which the rural memory fore
By the purple leaves and golden
at your feet,
As you felt the frosty tingle with an
plete.
But these things are now unheeded: F:
son, don't you know,
When the hat is in the Window and the ho
the show.
So sing.a song of satins or a little lay of lace,
Or tellof leathern trappings on parade to
equine grace. '
Never mind the sunlight and the shadows as the
pass, `
But watch' the gaudy glitter of electric Iights and.
gns.
Upon the arid tan bark there's no foliage argleam;
You'll feel no frosty tingle, for the place is warm.
ed by steam.
So let us join in welcome to this time., with hearts
When the hat'la in the window and the horse' Isla
the show,
--Washington Stay.