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HomeMy WebLinkAboutExeter Advocate, 1899-12-21, Page 8l;ubseribers\shc. ee no: re rte their !,aper xeee sriy 4ai1 faeces te tie. .. t ezme. do?aT et this office tor sews rwing rates. TUE EXEfEit ADVOCATE,. TaUES Ali, 7[.11;:: illlil:R 21. 1899. POINTE~ . ,l..ar1"GRAPHS. Win* excuses oat of a possible ten sire lies. Talk is Cheap -fwd emelt of it zieetis t1e be disk ount The Lets a 1.-;,,,itatan tries to be i+resis n Sible thea ere .rc, . . Ilan c ayes * :awn to drink H�i,..'n din% drive t t.'aa.rw•.:c'. lingzait a t,3.3 4 ry ,. .,.-Y 4' reply- d ling, to `3 tito a} 7 a :. .. 'You ?::luta r ..:?' lei ell? ..+ k•'= e4. MSa :rya. Some nteti ..:e ...:? niggly -..;'.:e more ,rSg7,a pat?: t :Gm the >...:t? they be* some. .:;e it a meta eon :: i»v se that 'black is I white. The van v! says se, Ling every time lee apes` hs 9s i14w tet QIIt for ;'a ' Weeiety leets. 4 9. busies leo hos .been ere steal to slut or.- tar n:,1» `,c abuses naii:r. iby feels 'ituede. up. W0 aro a=3?;10+^ tare? to Lett the baud Haat matte's us sur, wo :, .'i Mere 1.'te itnaie3n,; t:zp lisp : a li :a la's. The ordinary et.t.; ;:- : _) is a very 'a're to s :ee-tell a:,.,',n s..:it'h to teeet Oho l; r...c et:r.^,faro of lea ri ,,.. 3 pr s cease! Baso t'. sir live'. over Ifsh they y w+ i?'1. hl ovoid all their L li . , > istr- :cs-•-and = lio a lot of new efts z over rues, eela never will l -, .n., e, in one t'e r. e::c. ter za:i $ia is e .r-=.l+e veey netore es oeing s t h Haat were 2: e a a' n i. r. eraly is a e' e d z ;,o gas cyst of the e of .l 1?4 ave case is e 1egeira'c:4: i5 _ • ..e ctl,er. Wei e wovttr, ,ie# u,aataie Wise, when ina'oce iu a s,cu.. ti'za do iterates. i, e. a.�r rnedy f4 Raianls. .5 g n3:aal etaa3 f.,.0 ,.,utab use, the st s; stent% n e :ell into eeevaleseence I enr;sla. say the iadaezzee whirls Qui- erns ,1ui- er a en .\ e t r e it awn restoratwes. e:.eves the dreepif:g spirits of Cease with whom a chrou.e sszste of morbid dee- ondeuey and legit of iateresc in life 11 a isease, and, by trzt&quilieing the nerves, is oyes to sound and refreshing slee imparts vigor to the, action of the blood!, which, being itizrelated, courses through• out tbeveine, atrengthentng; the healthy smiles! foliations of the system, thereby snaking activity a necessary result, •strengthening;the frame, and • riving life to the digestive ©rgiaee, which naturally demand increased sat'trnare-re'ulit, tm Troved appetite. Northrop &l..gman of oronto, nave given to ti•r F blie their superior Quinine Wine at the usuel rete, and, gauged by the on.uisau of sa entists this \vine apt+raacaes nearest perfrc:ioa of arty in the merlon.. Ali ,lr.ate.sta•eallit, Soldier and Courtier. Lord Kitchener, of Ihartoom, ie a straitforward soldier, but he does not scorn the art of turning a compliment gracefully. It has long been said of him that he is proof against all feminine charms, and when he waited upon Her Maj- esty at Windsor, the Queen was curi- ous enough to put a pointed question. "Is it true, my lord," she asked, "that you, have never yet oared for 'woman?" "Yes, Your Majesty," replied the. Birder, "quite true -with ane excep- tion. ' "Ale," said the Queen, "and who is she?" The Sirdar bowed. "Your Maj. esty," said he. When children are pale, peevish and restless at nleht they require a dose tr^ two el' Miller's Worm Powders. They are pleasant to salts; 110 physic re- quired. Tia a Keener Realization. "If she were a young girl," saidthe plump juryman -withthe metropoli- tan air, "I would be in favor of asses- sing the damages you. wish. But it seems to me that a widow is not en- titled to quite so much for the dera- nge to her feelings by breach of prom- ise." "I don't look at it in that way, at all," said the young juryman with the red clay on his boots. "I take it that a widder's feelins' 'ud be hurt the wust, 'cause she realizes what she is Desire." Had La Grippe. -Mr. A. Nickerson, Farmer, Dutton, writes: "Last winter I had La Grippe and it left me with a severe pain in the small of my back and hip that used to catch me whenever 1 tried to climb a fence. This lasted fox' about two mouths when I bought a bottle of Dr. Thomas' Eclectric Oil and used it both internally and externally, morning and evening, for three days, at the expira- tion of which time 1 was completely oared,"' At Luncheon. Mrs. Lofty (proudly) - "These spoons were handed down to me by ray great grandmother, who died and -went to heaven..twenty years ago." Mrs. Sticker-" Goodness met And do yon really mean to tell me that they use plated :goods up there?" Health fee the children. Miner's Worm Powders. Satisfied With Results. 3frs. Browne -"Are you satisfied with the results of your danghter's course at college?" 'larr9Why te-/ uite so; , 6he is going to marry one of the processors." That hot, dry'condition of the akin w111 disappear by the use of 1Vliller's Compound Ilton Pills. 50 doses 25 cents. DOITGS OF TIIE WEEI( 1OULDBR'S FORTUNE. iTSts;S OF iNTEREST FROM AROUND THE WORLD rnnod punctuated and Preserved in Pithy Paragraph* for tlae perusal of Tractate! People, -• Personal. 1'niitical one Profitable. L'lNCleel.Ss1ViIEI,. President McKinley's message is said to have given a -r at satisfaction to the dubans, $zt,,- tiler '4\«ivlett of the Colonial Elr;•:ce r:cas !wiza. Iat lasts i tolauzia➢' for fi•ai c ,•, in the State ' Se. 0da:';, and tee .a raM r. : ce n Easalon Couzzeissioners Aeeided that, 'i`i ,s. peeleo.n, rad been eiceee:i-tloveruor o ?It t N t"r:.pt teas ao ler:lell on at :Sa ::!S yoe encl.'ay *ger Ca tees:rt. nal.4eperation be I:erft;l'raed u f a r Tceo ling es, '1*.P Was sta:..eed atis t°^.e t'atttr•.al 1'r: sort I'y to fr a ';-e'a'Ii-: N,:,iirg tZ.S 011ta. 'i: ho e:cane ho'aI on t 1c' fz for Ma re.c).ary. f ci Lia 'fie York." gi:e: a - Gill 1 _,io ersiri i:.10,Vil0 to found .i resfrarlh sclior 3r•.s:nip chair iii cc. tre:..ion whiz t::o eleceriea.l depart - meet.' t1.t feiramie I alae- fool Lake I'l selti. Neu- York, the arz. re fry ztnarlced i,e rues !'deal\ zero • or; Wednesday • ni,:•det. There is good s'.eialting t1„it vicinity now. - '1 ee season 4 . navies tion just : ced has been a nioet s lore sful one for the 'ort of Qi;et ee. There was au eg rel; ite increta %d' al- the volume- of trealu done of $1.a. .,t:> I. g.-anaa;i the m . cotton ill enzto es at Pail diver, ltl:n., .t: �, t ''d in at rs inereaso of 1f* IN. r ..xs. in: wages.' Teslawaits a t t ,l 'ne:'e ee paid out weekly of Sit :,frets in \ aurs. I °:a * icr..c are th'.t tele '3.'aronto i'.a..ia: 3:,ssa E.atc. _ g ,s!toW "n route front. the latet to 22nd inst., e.in+:i;:sit^ ), vain be a grant. sueress. It Will he held.at 50 and OS West King Street. The Peep t+;at'ry\ays enn:;nisslon- era, who have, been meeting- In l)t;• trait to consider nze albs of sustaining higher l lze levels. will, it let scall, receinuiend a sy stetaa of alann3 in the Upper. er Niagara lti•..'rr P e, Ni;a^ Geo. Barkley, of Ualnilton, finds a Cure for Rheumatism. Se 1tIal es uoSecret about it -Everybody Can Have the- Benefit or eta Expert,. encs-Dodd's liiciney Pills ape Within the Reaoit of All, Hamilton, Deo.• 11. ---George Bark- ley, a moulder of this city, is satit lied he• has found a sure cure for Rheums- time at last, Ile, as is well known among his friends, has been search- ing for such a medicine for the last few years and until recently quite vainly. He has sere been cured of his own cats and he reasonably infers that the remedy that cured him will a cure others. i Rheumatism is well 1ruoavzi to be a disease resulting from disordered kidneys. That ire nowadays. an tee- Imowledged fart. I rie acid, which should be filtered out of the blood by the kidneys, remotes in the system when those oraane are unhealthy, and ledges in the joins, causing, rheuma- tism. The reasonable :argument re- mains therefore to euro Rheutuatisne by curing the kidneys. This is ex • - actly what Mr. Bartley did. He used Bond's Kidney Pit;s—zits best kidney medicine in the world—and is to day', entirely arc r icomplaint. free 1 o d Ile writes as follows: Dodd's Medicine Co. Gentlemett-•-•I have been for three' years troubled with Rheumatism, I have tried Fi'veral remedies but to no use. I could not get any relief. 1' heard of Dodd's Kidney ?ills and the wonderful cites -they had ti ede and decided to try then. I got one box and after I used one -Balt of this box 1' found I was getting better. I have used six boxes and now I can walk without ray care. 1 consider I ant cured, I retuitn. years, etc., • Uc). Barkley, Hamilton, • Out. Advices rea'eived from Apia. Sanwa., dated Nov. 2S, sae- Volt the news of the German annex atiou of the le - lands as a re tilt of the Samoan agreement, was reeeivi'4 by the n,t- tivee with apparent i.rt7i:terenco. Samuel ilosupers. I'r.: ident of the American Federation n of Labor. is seriously fli at his home in Weshing- ton as a result from a fall from his bicycle on Wedneediy. It Ic feared he eves hurt internally. The young Puke of 1 anehetser,who arrived in New Yore re a fear weeks ago, has 1'e,'n inlrrit'I:4 re...tili d be a cable from his mother, ammoncing that his sister. the . c ':n g Lady Alice Montague. is ds ing;. The dune v. ill sail ora Saturday. Nawslaaper pt oprie: ors of Finland have formed an insitronc.a company for mutual protection against bleees incurred by there tats tui; to the Rus- sian censorship and suppreesitui. A fee of five per rent. of ins iss income is charged and the guarantee is an indemnity of 00 To -q- dent. Tho Provincial Officer has been notified by the Cluehec Board of health of a rather serious out- break of smallpox there. Up to the present thue there has been 200. cases of the plague reported, and since Nov. 27, 03 new cases have de- veloped. No deaths, however, have taken place. The Azntriran Window .Glass Com- pany at Pittsburg. 1'a., is reported to have made a cut of 321._ per cent in the price of window glass efieet ive, and to have ordered fires 11gnr.- ed in all its factories, the purpose' beiug to resume operations alanut Jan. 1. This move is considered a declaration of war on the inde- pendent manufacturers. Apprehension is felt at ceattle, Wash., for the safety of the party' of military explorers, headed by Lieut. J. S. Herron of the Eighth U. S. Cavalry, which ascended the Sush itna River last June en route for the Yukon. At the divide between the Sushitna. and Tanana, Herron's guide deserted him and no word has been received from him since. NArarzu DIAT'i'ERs. The North German Lloyd steamer Koenigin Luis, is, whichounded Fri- day �' i day in the Lower Scheldt, has been. floated and has proceeded on her voy- age. The North Germain Lloyd steamer Koonigin Luise, bound for Australia, grounded on Friday on Walswoords Bank, in the Lower Scheldt. Id er condition is critical. Tugs are aa- sisting in the work of floating her. The season of navigation has closed at Depot Harbor, and the Parry Sound Railway will henceforth have diminished business. A largo staff has been employed all season, and about 12,000,000 bushels of grain have been sent from the harbor, an- other million bushels being still in the elevator. The schooner Wave Crest, from Os- wego, for Toronto, coal laden, was caught in the storm on Lake Ontario Thursday night. In trying to run into Charlotte for shelter she lost her bearings, went ashore near Oak Orchard Harbor and became a com- plete plete wreck. The crew was saved; but the vessel and cargo will be 'a complete loss. CASUALTIES. Sixty miners met death in a coal damp explosion in the Carbon Hill Coal Company's mine on the Northern Pacific Railway, 40 miles from, Ta- coma. Wash., on Saturday. A St. Louis, hfo,, suburban paeson- ger train on the Burlington roads ran d.owA a hand car bearing five men at Alton, I11., on Friday, kill- ing two men outrightand fatally injuring two. Th.e fifth man escaped in'ur r d Y by 1'wn;.ink. Albania Weather Ir.dicatlor,r. "What is a solecism 11" "Wearing golf stockings with a rain* Say skirt;" -Chicago If,eeord, BRIGAt»ER-GENERAL YULE. Commanding 4th Division in Plaoe of Sir W. P. Symons. Brigadier -General Yule, who made the brilliant march from Dundee to effect a junction with the British for- ces at Ladysmith. was through the. Tirah campaign. He has also seen active service in India. He was in Lord Roberts' famous march to Handahar, after he was ap- pointed Colonel of the First Devon - shires and stationed. at Peshawar. Last year Ms time limit of four years in comanaud of his battalion. ex- •T•t •see' titee9O,®teOe ,G iege00 pined, and the War OMce offered hint 0.•••di►e•e1.Oo•e4eoe•e•edi► •dim•. *.iMa•oe'et••NNN•e'•N••, 3 Mind This 11 Makes no Difference • •. P • . Jacobs • •�.1� �. Vii?=� ..;; Jacolis (1 on RHEUMATISM an extension of one year, He Stas rather unwilling to accept the offer as he was only just married, but be woe persuaded to aecept it, and when the Indian contingent was decided on for South Africa his regiment was chosen, and he was appointed to eom- tnand a brigade. • Ile comes of a military family. His father, who was Colonel of the 9tit Lancers in the Indian Mutiny. and was killed when leading his regiment into action, was one of three brothers who are mentioned in. Sir Herbert Ed- , wards' Life as the illustrious Yule Brothers, One other. Sir George. Yule, was British Resident at Hyder- abed Decals, and tile• other was Sir Henry Yule, Member of the Indian coattail. Something More Theo .•Purgative.- To purge is the only effect of many pills now on the market. Permelee's 'G ene- tnble Pine are more than a purgative. hey .flan• <„ Mlle stonsacli where other pp'ilt t weaker it, They cleanse the blood by regulating the liver and kidneys, and they stimulate x!, re other pill cum. pounds depose, _ eteing of an ielairiftus not nre, Uesel for merely purgativepoa'ez'a, enters fists their cnmpn,iitions. ,. An l:tagilRh laoator s sato, An Eastbourne doctor has been the victim of Isis own medicine. He made tip it draught for a patient, putting in by mistake strychnine instead of cboloforzu, and who:. she complained that it made her sick, got angry, and, ICnlser Pleased. :a Boy's a'onztrity, to prove that the medicine was all The German Balser half the other the bottle t le hi swallowesl �. the contents of day a curious adventure with one of go t himself. Heo immediatelystry recognized the symptoms of strych- his numerous gatdebildreu. Every nine poisoning;, used a stomach pump seventh boy in the same family, if the and other means to destroythe effects parents are in ?humble circumstances, ' is named after and educated at tho expense of the kaiser. On the kaior's No worm medicine acts so nicely as Mil - arrival at Remeheid, one of these ler's Worm Powders; no physio required. godchildren was deputed to offer 'him a bouquet. The small boy, however, at the last minute utterly refused to part with the flowers. The kaiser, however, only laughed and patted him on the head, and Enid; "Yes, when a German onto lays hands ou anything, ho does not, readily give it up," and he ordered fifty sharks to be given to the obstinate youngster. but died soon after. So rapidly sloes lung irritation spread and deepen, that often in a few weeks a aiumple cough eulinlaates iu tubercular' consumption Give heed. to a cough. there is 11,1Waye danger in delay, get a bottle of Bickle's Inti -Consumptive Syrup, and cure yourself. It is a flied/. eine tzu:Dur ,assed tor all throat rand lung troubles. It is compounded from several herbs, each one of which stands at the bead of the list as exerting a wonderful influence in curing consuunptiou and all lung troubles. Not so "Doff' After All. In the village of T. there is a clerk who is known as "Daft Johnny," ow- ing to his having been confined in a lunatic asylum several years. The other day, shortly after his release, with a, document stating that he was now sane, he was having an argument with several of his fellow clerks, when one of them suddenly exclaimed "Look here, Johpny, you'd better hold your tongue. You've only just come out of the lunatic asylum, and we all know you are daft." "Daft?" exclaimed Johnny, with sarcasm. "Why, I'm the only man among the whole lot of you who has a certificate for being sane!" ar1TY or OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDo,tas, LUCAS COMITY. FRAM= J. CRESSY makes oath that he is the senior partner of the 1itm of F. 3. Cuasxr & Co., doing buriness in the City of Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every ease of Catarrh that cannot be cured by the use Of BALL'S 04Tannn CURE. FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before me -and subscribed in my presence, this eth day,of December, A. D., 1886. {sxAL. } A.. W. GLEASON, Notary Public. t-Y-� Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally endues directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Send for testimonials free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0. =Sold by Druggists, 750. „ No Basis of Agreement. "Your church, I am informed, f' said the man who was in search of information, "takes care of its preach- ers when they become too old for active service." "It does " replied the man who w o had the information. to give out. "At what age is it usually consid- ered they ought to go on 'the retired list? :"It is hard to tell. There is fre- quently a difference of thirty years between the estimate of the congre- gation and that of the preacher."' New life for a quarter. Miller's Com- pound Iron Pills. Now Literary Valuation. "Did the editor accept your .mann- acript. "Oh, yes !'' "How much did he give yon?" "Two cents a pound." "A pound?" "Yes, you see, he' gets only three cents from the paper mill t " ' If the children requirephysic none ants so niee its Miller's Worm Powders;' very pleasant to talus. Bird Victims of Fashion. The birds so ruthlessly slaughtered for their plumes are the white herons and egrets, of which several pieces have lately been quite destroy ell They are natives of tropical countries, South Anserina and India furnisbiug the most specimens. In the Same Class. "Go away!" said the cook wrath- fully. "Yon are a tramp." "Aye, let it be so!" said. Thirsty Hannigan, dramatically. "Yet, never forget that you, too, madam, are but s, panhandler !" A new back for 50 cents. Miller's Kidney Pills and Plaster. Germany's Need. Germany is now worrying over the feet that there has been a serious de- crease in sheep' breeding there and a consequent increase in imports of wool. The number of sheep in the United States has increased from 5,000,000 to 50,000,000 head, while in Germany the flocks have decreased from 40,000,000 to 10,000,000 head. German imports of wool have jump- ed from 25,662,565 pounds in 1880 to 210, 614,103 pounds in 1898. In spite of this enormous extension of the Ger- man. market and the equally phenom- enal increase of sheep breeding in the United States this country sup- plies Germany with practically no -wool at all, the principal sources of her supply being Argentina, Austra- lia, Cape Colony and Great Britain. For the Overworked. -What are the causes of despondency and melancholy A disordered liver is one cause and a prince one. A disordered liver means a disor- dered stomach and a disordered stomach means distnrhitnce of,the nervous system. This brings the whole body into subjec- tion and the victim feels sick all over. Parmelee's Vegetable Pills are a recog- nized remedy in this state and relief will follow their use. Customary. "Leave the house," cried little Binks, making , a brave bluff of strength to the burglar. "I intend to, my small friend," replied the burglar, courteously. "I am merely after the contents. When I take houses I do it trhough the regular real,estate chan- nels." That Red Nose will soon begonne re- spectable in appearance by taking Miller's Compound Iron Pills. 50 doses 25 cents.. Mormons in Switzerland. Mormonism has taken refuge in Switzerland. Recently published statistics apprise us that there are no fewer than 1,100 Mormons scattered about the Swiss republic. THE e alld CF rt JOHN L BATT London , Are undoubtedly THE BEST. Testimonials from 4 chemists, 10 medals, 18 diplomas. The most wholesome of beverages. Recommended by Physicians. For sale every- where. Thum. 1 (4'.',",ned by Cats. Fifty eats took possession of a Liv- erpool man's house while Lis family was away, and the human beings' attempt to evict thele was repnrsed.. Prov,a,i• the case. Bill—What's that fellow trying to prove by rocking the boat? Jill -That the fools are not all dead yet. Obvious. "What is a totem pole?' suddenly asked gilts. W ipedunks..who bad been reading about Alaska. "You ort to know what that Is from the word itself," answered Mr. Wipe - dunks severely. "A tote 'em pole is a, long stick, of wood the Chinese peasant puts ou his shoulders when he wants to carry two buckets of water"—Chi- a c oTrU Tribune, Had Tier Doubts. "1 don't believe professors know so very much," said Morale, "Why! How ea'in you taut so?" re• joined Maud. "Well. I don't see why Mr. Fulpate should have seemed so surprised and puzzled when 1 asked him how to say 'rubberneck' fn (:=reel:." --Washing ton Star, AFTER EFFECTS OF FEVER. Mrs, Anglo, of 11err1tton. Snfferod *0 Severely That Tier Friends Feared She Was I.ti sotY to no a Permaneut lu- vnlicl. In the picturesque village of Merrit- ton resides Mrs. William Angle, who, after months of suffering, has found a cure from the use of Dr.Williams' Pink Pills. Mrs. Angle relates es follows the eaporieuce through which she has passed. "Four years ago this spring, while a resident of Buffalo, I had an attack of typhoid fever and the disease left me in a worn out and extremely nervous condition, so that the least noise startled zee. I could not sleep at times for a week on ac- count of terrible attacks of heart trouble. Thor again my head would trouble me and I bawl bad dreams. I had no appetite and lost twenty-two -Pounds is weight and haft beecano so very thin that my friends were alarm- ed. While in this condition I was treated by two physicians but with no avail. I tried everything recommend- ed but still found no relief. Finally a relative persLadecl me to try Dr. Williams' Pink Phis. After I had taken the first box I could see a change for the better, so I continued the use of the pills until I had finish- ed six boxes and the results were most gratifying. I now have normal sleep, there is no more twitching in my hands, the palpitations have ceased, and I have gained in weight and strength. My whole system seems toned up, and I feel entirely well. I feel grateful to the Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., and 'hope they will keep up the good work of administer- ing to the afflicted." Dr. Wiiilams' Pink Pills euro by going to he root of the disease. They renew and build up the blood, and strengthen the nerves, thus driving disease from the system. Avoid imi- tations by insisting that every box you purchase is euclosed in a wrapper bearing the full trade mark, Dr. Wil- liams' Pink Pills for Pale People. Economics. "The present trouble is that there are too many men for the number of jobs," said the amateur lecturer on the. situation. "And that ai n't all mister," inter- rupted ter- rupted Dismal Dawson. "Another trouble is that there is too much work tb the job after a man get's it." GANGER RUNS IN 'FAflLIES1 Those With Hereditary Predispo- sition Should Take Treatment' in Time. The writer on cancers, in the British Encyclopedia, says that nearly half of all eases can be traced to hereditary predis- position. ,b]"earl y every authority on malignant growths emphasises the fact that in a large proportiou of cases it will be found that either' the father or mother, graudfather or grandmother, died of the disease. This hereditary tendency ' to cancer shows that the disease must be of a constitutional nature, andit should al- ways put these persons, whose progenitors have died of the disease, oh their guard to take treatment on the very first indica- tion of its approach. And new light has been shed on the methods of treating this• serious malady. The barbaritiee of the knife and plaster with their overwhelming percentage of failures and, recurrences, have been super - ceded by, a ' constitutional remedy that builds up the depleted strength, searches poison in every the cancer p cornerof the system, axed without any cutting or suffering radically and permanently cures , tho disease. We do not publish' testimonials in the papers, as sensitive people do not care to parade their ailments for the benefit of the curious. These peoplele are o only .too glad, however, for any sufferer to have the heeefit of their experience. If you are interested In this matter and desire fur- ther information, send us two stamps and we will mail you treatise and testimonials. STO TT & JURY, Bowmanville Ont. Mention this paper. ' r •• •i i •1 Ito* 6l*e•0®f1OQfos•o•o•/f••0•e 'A MODERN FABLE. The Story of the Elephant Who WAS• Very Itoteraat. Once there was au elephant that. tired of life inthe jungle, ab he decid- ed to join a circus at the first opportu- nity. Shortly after making up his mind on this point he was strolling through the forest, cursing the tiles high and low, when he came upon the agent of a great American circus who was en- gaging African talent for the following season. Although the agent saw ulna comiug, he paid no attention to the dis- contented elephant, wbo naturally felt slighted. "Ilelloi" he trumpeted. "Wouldn't you like to have me ;race your cir- cus?" "Oh, I don't knewr carelessly re- plied the agent.: "'shat stunts can you do?" "What can I do?" asked the surpria- ed elepbaat. "Well, you're a bright one, you are," sarcastically replied the agent. "Can you balance yourself ou the tip of your trunk, or turn a hack somersault, or play the intermezzo from 'Ca' aUeria Rusticana' on a slide trombone, or do a high dive into three feet of water, or conduct an orchestra?" The poor, bewildered elephant meek- ly acknowledgesi his inability to per- form any of tate feats mentioned. "I thought so," remarked the circus man. "Now, if you'll attend a dramat- ic school for five or six years and study hard about 10 hours a day I'll make you an ofg:er that'll"-- But with a Ioud. roar of despair the stagestruck animal• took to the woods. Hotel. --The professions are over- crowded. -Brooklyn Life. Brief,. Prom Melville. We understand that all Dewey needs. In his new bouse is coal. We haven't any coal, but we have shipped him two carloads of Georgia light wood knots, with our compliments. Brumby day was even more than we expected. All of aur relatives swooped down on us. and we baa to hire a fright train to take 'ern to it. BillviUe is not represented In the leg- islature this year. Our late representa- tive got a government pension for hay- ing bis leg cut oil while reading war news, and he has gone to Ty -Ty to spend it. We have no advice to give the Geor- gia legislature. The members got its there, and they know what for.—At- lanta Constitution. • Litti. Scraps. arsoap. Scraps of soap should neve be wast- ed, but be carefully collected and put away. When wanted for washing flannels, etc., they can be out in small pieces and boiled to a jelly. After- wards dilute with rainwater, and this will make a beautiful lather. Small pieces of toilet soap should be colleo- ' ted and kept by themselves. Then melt them np again with a little milk and form into cakes. Those Unsightly Pimples can be entire ly removed by the use of Millei►'s Com. pound Iron Pills. 50 doses 25 cents. Her Gentle Hint. "This room," he said, "is rather close." "That's not all that's close," she returned somewhat pointedly. Then he recalled that she had brought np the subject of ice oream soda three times in the last ten min- utes and he had failed to respond as became a man. In Union County, Georgia, there is not a bar room, and 75 per cent. of the people own their own homes. Only one head of a family is theconn ty seat does not own his home. , The tramways, omnibuses and un- dergroimd railways in and around i London, within a radius of five miles, carry each year, it is calonlated, about 453,000,000 passengers. I To walk through all the streets avenues, lanes and alleys of London, i never traversing the same one twice, would require a. ten mile walk every day for nine years. , In some parts of Holland a birth is announced by fastening a silk nin cushion on the door -knob. If the pin cushion is red the baby is a boy, , and if white a girl. PLOWS, ROLLERS & HARROWS The Best Slade. Send for Cataloggrue. }. 0OCICsutTTT PLOW CO., BILA',TNOISD. `UCAS, STEELE & BRISTOL, Circle Teas S.. BB.oo IMrORTSRe OF PROOCRL. IBf. L.S. da .. EoXfftraels Write us. HAMILTON. les. es Is. .Spfees BINDER TWINE AND MANILA ROPE ONTARIO BINDER TWINE CO., 113 Union Station Arcade. Toronto. j1TPH ABSOLTJTELY FREE, ear ( 8 ranted perfect time -keeper, to Bors and Gents for distributing Aelver. using Matter. Won't cost you a cent. Send address for,pat•tictears. stoma Bites., LONDON. T. N. IT. 250 r, t STOPPED FREE. Permanent- , • •` �k' ly Cured. Dlt. KKLINE'S esra.r NERVE Yn RES TOAZ;- R. Positivecure for all I1 Nervous Diseases,b1t0.Eppitspe ,Spasmstied StVitus Dano. No o ; . Fits or Nervousneei after first day's use. Treatise and; !b3 trial bottle sent through Canadian Agency FREE to k'it patient*,., they paying express charges only when received. Stind to Dr Kline} 931 Arch st., Philade_pek a J" , 'fioxwa.�tarr+awrnielt