HomeMy WebLinkAboutExeter Advocate, 1899-9-28, Page 7Olir TO LIVE LONG.
THE REV. DR-, T. • IDE WITT TAla
MAGE'S PRESCRIPTIONS
FOR LONGEVITY,
Hie Teat Wee, owito reato etre win
IgatitfY Illut"-.111e1P rratitieni iteligiett
—a oretest agemet Paeleetioes—De-
etrosers or ear.,
Washington, Sept, 24.—,,To this dis-
course Dr. Talmage gives preecrip-
tions for the prolongation a life and
Preaches the gosiml of physical
health. The teat is Psalms xci,
"With loog life will 1eatiofy him."
Throogh the mistake a its friends
religion has been chiefly associated
with sick beds and graveyards. The
whole subject to many people is odor-
ous with eldorinh and carbolic acid.
There are people who canuot pro.
noeuee the word "religion" without
*firing in it the clipping chisel of
o tombstone cutter. It is high time
that this thing were changed and that
eeligion, instead of being represented
as a hearse to early on the deed,
amid borepreseoted as a chariot in
which the liviug are to triumph,
Religion, so far from sabtreating
from oue's vitality, is a gloriOns ad -
anion. It is Sanative, curative, hy-
gienic,. It is good for the eyes, good
eater the ears, good for the epleele, good
lifer the digestiou, good for the nerree,
good, for the inueeles. Whelk David
in another an of the peaim prays
that religion may be dominant, he
does not speak of it s z uiild sickness
or an emaeiation or an attack of
' xatoral aud spiritual. cramp. Ile speaks
of it as "the saving health of all o
Vous," while God in tho teat prom-
ises lougoritY to the PlOuSt sayingt
loug life will 1 satisfy him,"
The fact is that mei and velum die
too soon. It is high time that religiou
joirted the band of medical Winne° in
attempting to improve human long-
evity.
liusoired Tears014,
it is mid in Isaiah, "The child
hall die a hundred years old." Now,
it accordih*g. to seriptare, the child is
to be a hundred years old, may not
the BIM ancl womeu reach to NO and
400? The fact is that SVC aro raere
dwarfs mul skeletons compared with
some or the gen('rations. that are to
come. Take the African. race. They
have been tinder bondage for con-
turies. Give them a chance, and they
*develop a Frederick Douglass mor a,
Toussaint Vane -eater°, And, if the
white race shall be brought from un-
der the serfdom of Sin, what shall be
the body, what shall be the soul? Re-
) ligion has only just touched our
wericl. Give it full power for a, few
centuries, and who cau tell what will
be the strength of man and the
beauty of women and the longevity
of all?
Care tor Tour Ph 3 steal Po max.
An intelligent Ohristirm intm would
consiner it an absurdity to kneel
. clown at night and pray nnd ask God's
protection while at the StIni0 tilne he
kept the window of his bedroom tight
shut against fresh air. Ile would just
SS S0011 think of goieg out on the
bridge between New York and Brook-
lyn, leaping off and .then praying to
God to keep him from getting hurt.
just as long as you refer this whole
subject of physical health to the
realm of whimsicality or to the pastry
cook or to the butcher or to the baker
or to the apothecary or to the cloth-
ier you are not acting like a Chris-
tian. Take care of all your physical
foioes — nervous, muscular, bone,
. brain, celtalar tissue—for all you
must be brought to judgment. Smok-
ing your nervous system. into fidgets,
burning out the coating of your stom-
ach with wine logevooded and strych-
nined, walking with thin shoes to
• make your feet look delicate, pinched
- at the waist until you are nigh mit in
two and neither part worth anything,
groaning about sick • headache and
paCatth came from God, when they
ion of the heart, which you.
came from your own folly!
A body so divinely honored and so
divinely constructed, let us be careful
not to abuse it. When it becomes a
Christian duty to take care of our
health, is not the whole tendency to -
'ward longevity? If I toss my watch
about recklessly- and drop it on the
pavement and wind it up any time of
, day. or night I happeu to think of it
! and often. let it run down, while you
are careful with your watch and
ver abuse it and wind it np just at
the same hour every night and put
air it in a place where it will not suffer
from the violent changes of atmos-
phere, which watch will last the
longer? COMmOn sense answers. Now,
the human body is God'aewatch. You
see the hands of the watch, but the
beating of the heart is the ticking of
the watch. Be careful and do not let
it run down.
neneloo ui Friend of Longevity.
Again, I remark that practical, re-
ligion is a friend of longevity, in the
fact that it is a peotest against dissi-
pations, which injure and destroy
that alighted on the bust above his
door was delirium tremens—
Older this aud =thing more,
Napoleon Bonaparte lived only just
beyond uUdUfe, then died at St.
lielena, and one of his doctors said
that his disease was indoced by exces-
sive snuffing. The hero of Auaterlitz,
the man who by one step of his foot
in the centre of Europe shook the
earth, killed by a snuff boat Plow
may people we have loaowa who
have pot lived out half their days be-
cause of their dissipatious and indulg-
ences! Now, practieal religion is a
protest agebast dessipatiops of
any kind,
"But," you say, "professors of re-
ligion hove fallen professors of re-
ligion have got 'druedc, professors of
religion have misappropriated trust
fuuds, professors of religion have ab.
scouded." Yes, but they threw away
taeir religion before they did their
morality. If a man on a 'White Star
line steamer, booed for Liverpool, in
mid-Atlantic jumps overboard and is
drowned, is that anything against the
White Star lineas capacity to take the
man aeross the wean? Aud if a liaan
jumps over the- gauwale of his re-
ligion aud goes down never to rise, is
that any reason for your believing,
that religion has no eaptteity to take
the num elear through? In the one
Ortse, if be had Rept to the steamer,
Lis body would have been Saved; in
the other ease, if lie bad kept to his
religion, his morals woold have been
it eaved.
Takee Oat tue Worry.
Again, religion is a friend a long -
lay in the fact that it takes the
worry out of our temporalitioa 11
is t work that kills men; it is
worry. 'When n man becomes a gen-
nine Christian„ be makes over to God
not ouly bis affections, but his fam-
ily, his busiuess, his reputation, his
hoes, his Ivied, his soul, everything.
Industrious he will be, but never
worryiuge because God is managing
his affairs, flow can be worry about
business when in answer to his prayers
od tells hint when to buy and when
to elle and if be gain, that is best,
if he lose, that iseliest.
Suppose you bad a supernatural
neighbor who came in and said: "Sir,
I Want you to call on me in every ex-
igen**. I am your first friend, I
-could fall back on 0,000,O00 1 van
torso a panie ten years, 1 hold the
controlling stook in 80 of the best
monetary institutions of NOW York.
-Whenever your are in trouble call on
ano, and I will help you. Yon eau
have zny money, aud yon can havemy
influence. Here f my hand. in pledge
for it." How much would yon worry:
about business? Why, you would
say, "I'll do the best I ma, and then
I'll depend on my friend's generosity
for the rest."
lerno, more than that is promised to
every Christian business man, God
says to him: "I own 'Now York and,
London and ',St Petersburg and Pe-
kin, arid Australia and California are
intim. I can forsee a panic a lounlred
years. I have all the resources of
the =Were°, and I am your fast
friend. When you get in business
trouble or any other trouble, call on
me, and I will help. Bore is
my hand in pledge of mnripotent de-
liverance." How mach should that
man worry? Not much. What lion
will dare to pnt his paw ott that
Daniel? Is there not rest in this?
Is there not an. eternal vacation in
this? "Oh," you say, 'here is a, man
who asked. God for a blessing in a cer-
tain enterprise, and he lost $5,000 in
it. Explain that."
I will. Yonder is a factory, and
one wheel is going north, and the
other wheel is going south, and one
wheel plays laterally, and the other
plays -vertically. I go to the
manufacturer, and I say: "0 Mann-
faoturev, your machinery is a contra-
diction! Why do you not make all the
wheels go one way?" "Well," he
says, "I made them to go in opposite
directions on purpose, and they pro-
duce the right result. You go 'down
stairs and examine the carpets we are
turning out in this establishment, and
you will see." I go down on the
other floor, and I see the carpets, and
I am obliged to confess that though
the wheels in that factory go in op-
posite directions, they turn out a
beautiful result, and while I am stand-
ing there looking at the exquisite fab-
ric an old Scripture passage comes in-
to my mind, "All things work togeth-
er for good to them that love God."
Is there not a tonic in that? Is there
not longevity in that?
Suppose a raan is all the time wor-
ried about his reputation? One man
says he lies, another says he is stu-
pid, another says he is dishonest, and
half a dozen printing esta,blisments
attack him, and he is in a great state
of excitement and worry and fume
and caunot sleep, but religion comes
• to him and says: "Man, God is on
your side. He will take case of your
reputation. If God be for you, who
can be against you? How much should
that man worry about his reputation?
Not much. If that broker who some
years ago in Wall street, after he had
lost money, sat down and wrote a
farewell letter to his wife before he
blew his brains out—if, instead a
to know at what depot it is going to
stop. If you get on board a ehip, you.
want to know into what harbor 21 28
going to run. Med if you should
tell nie you have no interest in, what
is going to be your future destiny I
would, in as polite a way as ]now
how, tell you I did not believe you.
Before X bad this matter settled with
reference to lay future exiatence the
question almost worried am ietoruin-
ed health, The - anxieties ram haye
upon this subject put together would
make a martyrdom. This is a state of
awful =Ilealthieess. There are pee-
ple who fret themselves to death, for
fear of dying. I want: to take the
strain off your nerves and the ()owes-
sion off your soul, and I make two or
tiree experiments. Experiment first
When you go ant of this world, it
does not make any difference whether
you have been. good or bad, whether
you believed truth or error, you will
go straight to glory. "Impossible,"
you say. "My common sense a„s welL
as sny religion tertebes that the had
and the good cannot live together the animal and hY the amennt and
forever. You give me no comfort in kind of wort he is required to do. The
that exieeriment." Experiment the horse bas a small stomach in proper, -
tion to his size; hence frequeut feediog
second: Wien you leave this world,
when under bard work is aecessary.
you will ge. into an intermediate no human stomach eau bear hunger
state, where you can get eonverted,
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FEEDING
HORSS.
Oirettinstancest Whielt SitotaId
Ooverst the quantity and
Vaelety atottotte,
a
Farmers :generally do not give the
feediug of their tomes the ateentical
a deserves, writes Colonel D, elcOrae:
in The Breeder's Gazette, Balanced
rations and feed mixtures for the dairy
vow and the feecliog steer ' are
carefully examinee and discussed,
but the reeding of the horses is
usually all the bay they can eat and
varying quantities of oats, according
to the work being clonal Soteethoes
even the latter part is neglected, If a
horse is required to do extra bard work,.
he should be liberally aud frequently
fed. Tim amount of rope. given should
:het regulateti by the size and breed of
and prepared fOr heaVen, "Impose afar ibetter than that of the horse, Ir
sibles" ymt Say. "As the tree fere ru=ft.o=ljtnai
leth, so must it lie. and I CallUQI: post' it before you did and Is needing bis
pone to an intermediate state xefore teed more than you oce
elation -which ought to have beim Opinions differ it god deal as to the
effected in this siato." arPoriratelt 'teetering of horses. Seine prefer to
the third' VIM is no future world. have water before the horses in the
When a moo dies, that is the last of stall at all times, Mora prefer water-
line. Eo not worry about whot you. Ing only as the horses come in fano
are to do in another state of heiria. work or before feeding. Roma shotild
You will not do anything. "Impose not be watered after male, as the
Able." you say. "There is seine- stomach, being small, Is liable to be
thing that tells me that death is ooe partially emptied of the uudigested
the appeudix, but the palace, to lire. rood, causing trouble in the bowels and
ewe. anweee partial loss of the food.
Well, YOB defeat leo in lay them ex- Oats and bay are the Ideal horse
pertratilts, g 110170 014 ono two to foodS for oar coUntry, bat beeallse
Snake, and •if you defeat me •in. that I they are the best le no reason why
they should be eaelusivety used, Via
am exhausted. A, mighty no on •ety is often =tele relished the
hxiafl back Jemnettlem dan the horse. and with this variety eheapness
shies filled with farlted lightnings and economy may be introduced. Good
and the earth dlled With valeania timothy hay, early cut and well cured,
disturbuncee, turned his Pale nisi is the best bay for horses. Timothy
agonized. face toward the heavens and hay Is heavier thap. that of other
said: "X take the sins and sorrows of grasses and contains a largo quantity
the ages into my own heart, am of nutritive matter In a small bulk. If
the expirition. Witness, earth and. left till it be overripe, It. becomes hard
hen,ven and hen, I am the as. -pi- and woody. It is more digestible wben
ation,," And the haMmer Struck eut rather on the green side and makes
him, and the spears punetared him, better horse food. Many farmers feed
and heaven thundered: "The wages far too ranch bay to their horses. They
of sin is death!" "The soul thot might very well talce a few lessons In
sinueth, it shall. diet" "I •will hy no rids matter h firm the liverymen, who
zzieans elear the guilty!" nen there ._iieep tematititneerronhearssemstaloaltewttaenrceanol
was silence for half an hour, and. the 4'•
lightniegs were drawn back. into the hay. Race horses in large stables ore
fed on G to 8 pounds of bay and
seribbera of the sky, and the earth from Pr to 20 puede of the best oats
ceased to quiver, and all the -color of per day, and, if needed, a bran mash
the slcy began to shift into a rainbow once a weele—one-third of the bay aft -
woven out of the fallen tears of J'estie, er exereise In the morninge the balauce
and there was red as of the bloodshed- at algbt and the oats fed at four feeds.
ding, and there was blue as of the For hunters mare bay Is given up to 10
bruising, and them was green as of pounds per day, G pounds loose and 4
the heavenly foliage, and there \WU pounds cut and mixed with his oats,16
orange as of the day dawn, and along to 18 pounds per day. Any farmer can
the line of the blue I saw the words, see bow numb this differs from bis
yet these horses are re -
"I was bruised. for their iniquisies,11 feeding, and
and alone. the line of the red. I -saw quired to do bard work and sudden ex -
the words, "The blood of Jesus Christ ertions, taxing all their powers. In
eleanseth from all •sin," and along horses
a favoritte winter ood wkbeln
the line of the green saw the words, ci)1;sgtasr11:11'lell a moderate v" s
"The leaves of the Tree of Life for When "lames are in the stable much
the healing of the nations," and of the time, the feeding needs to be
along the line of the orange I saw the carefully managed. In mane- Parts of
words, "The day spring from on high Canada roots are a favorite winter
hath visited us," and then I saw the feed. Swede turnips (ruta bagas) are
storm was over, and the rainbow rose relished by horses and seem better
higher and higher until it seemed re- food for them than the carrot. They
treating to another heaven, and, do well on roots when idle or at
pleating one column a its colors on moderate work. Cooking food for
one side of the eternal hill, and plant- horses has not been found generally
ing the other corm= of its colors on Profitable. Elaborate and careful ex -
the other side of the eternal hill, it periments made years ago showed that
rose upward and upward, "and, be horses did better on raw food. Crushed
hold, there was a rainbow about the or ground oats are much used. Some
throne." Accept that sacrifice and horses have a tendency to bolt their
quit worrying. Take the tonic, the feed half chewed, and some of the
inspiration, the longevity, of this grain is voided whole in these cases.
truth. Religion. is sunshine; that is Grinding belps any .such tendency. In
health. Religion is fresh ' and pure England some of the large companies
water; they are healthy. Re
_ mixed
fw000ld. s adgreat many horses give
use considerable quan-
is warmth.; that is healthy. Ask all titles of American corn. The North
the doctors, and they will tell you Metropolitan company (London) allows
that a quiet, conscience and pleasant for each horse per day about the fol.
anticipations are hygienic. I offer lowing rations: Corn, 18 pounds; oats,
you perfect peace now and hereafter. 3 pounds; peas, 1 pound; beans, 1
What do you want in the future pound; hay, 7 pounds; cut straw, 3
world? Tell me, and you shall ha,ye pounds; total, 28 pounds. Tbe South
it. Orchards? There are the trees London Tramway company gives eorn,
with twelve manner of fruits, yield- 7 pounds; oats, 7 pounds; beans, 1
ing fruit every month. Water seen- pound; hay, 11 pounds; straw, 3
ery? There is the river of Life from pounds; total, 29 pounds.
under the throne of God, clear as What needs special attention by our
crystal, and the sea of glass mingled feeders is the quantity of hay and the
with fire. Do you want music? desirability of using a small quantity
These is the oratorio of the Creation of straw in the ration. British cavalry
led on by Adam, and the oratorio of horses are allowed 10 pounds of oats
the Red sea led on by Moses and the and 12 pounds of hay on ordinary
oratorio of the Messiah led on by St feed. If out on active service, the oats
are increased to 15 pounds. In private
Paul, while the aachangel with single stables and on the farm it is better
baton controls the 144,000 who make to give greater variety to the food, and
up the orchestra. Do you want re- the wise feeder will be guided by the
union? There are your children season and the price of foods in keep
waiting to kiss you, waiting to em- ing his animals in the best of health
brace you, waiting to twist garlands at the least expense
in your hair. You have been accus-
tomed to open the door on this side
the sepulcher. I open the door On the
other side the sepulcher. You have
been accustomed to walk in the wet '
grass on the top of the grave. I show
you the under side of the grave. The
bottona has fallen out, and the long
ropes with which the pallbearers let
down your dead let them clear
through into heaven• .
Glory be to God for this robust,
the health'. Bad men and women
hlthy It will
live a very short life. Their sins kill taking out of his pocket a pistol, he eareligion!
dency to make you live lonhave a ten -
them . I know hundreds of good old had taken out a well read New Testa world, and in the world to come you
men, but I do 110t know half a dozen ment, there would have been one less will have eternal life. "With long
• bad old men. • Why? They do not get suicide. •life will I satisfy him."
old. Lord Byron died at Missolonglii Again, practical religion is a friend The CallSe of Alan's greed.
at 36 years of age, himself his own of longevity in the fact that it re- Sunday School Teacher--Noev, Tom-
Mazeppa, his imbridled passions the moves all corroding care about a futmy, cap you tell me what it is that
horse that dashed hum into the des- ure existence. Every man wants to makes men hunt for pearle and die,-
ert Edgar A. Poe died at Baltimore know what is to become of him. If you raon.ds?
t 88 ears of age. The black raven get on board a rail traiu you wegi Tommy—I guess it's girls.
y _
Prom Cattle to Sheep.
Wyoming is fast becoming the sheep -
men's country, and it is only a ques-
tion' of a few years when they will
possess the state. Only five firms in
the western portion still range cattle
there. All the country south of Bow-
line has been given up to the sheep
men, and firms that formerly ranged
cattle have been forced to change tbeir
holdings into sheep. One cattleman
says he is surrounded by sheep, but,
having purchased a large tract of coun-
try from the 'Union Pacific, he has suc-
ceeded In•holding his range The bus]
ness is being overdone in that section,
and there is a disposition on the part
of some of the sheeptnen to sell and
get out, and it is probable that a large
number of sheep will be thrown upon
the market this season.—National
Stockman. •
LAST MAN ON EARTH.
WHE etAT IS TleStgAte FATg THAT
AWAITS THIS MORTAL?
Stour Theories,' as to tue Banner ot
Lite /Anti Death Thll at WiBe the
Portion oft the Last Relic et
autuitY ii lt Now Exiats.
Astronomers tell as that the day
must come when the earth will, like
the moon, wheel through. the bealtells
g dead and barren »all of matter—air-
less, waterless, lifeless. But Wag, long
before time time mau will be extinct-,
wW bave disappeared se utterly that
not so much as the bleaclaed skeleton
of a human being will be visible on all
the millions of square miles or the
surface of this planet.
Unless by some huge and uulversal
cataclysm the whole race is swept af
once into eternity it is but reasonable
to suppose that man, like any other
mce of animals, will disappear slowly
and that eveatually there will be but
AL single human being left—some old,
old man, grey headed and bearded, and
left to wander alone in a solitude that
may be imagined, but not described,
Tim will he die, tie's Met relic of
Nee tensing millions that once trees -
armed the face of the globe and ruled
endisputed masters of every other live
rag thin? There are many fates that
may bean Mui. i1e may go road With
the horror of loneliness and }Oneself
end his own raiserable existence. Re
may be eaten by the vast reptiles or
Mut insects wbich will then probably
hufest the solitudes.
But his tate may be far weirder and
more dreadful, Scientists say that, as
we burn the coal awl timber we are
etill so ricbly supplied with, we let
loose into tlae atmosphere an ever in-
ereesiug volume of carbonic aeld gas.
tfueli of this is taken up' be' pleats,
hut not all, It must Increase and
eventually POIS011 the breathable air,
filliug the valleys and mountbig slowly
to the hill tops, where ehe last remains
of animal life are striving for exist-
ence. The last roaet will climb higher
and Waller, but eventually the suffocat-
ing luvisible good will reach and
4irrg:1011,nlit
him,
said that the earth as it
gets elder is eracking like dry mud,
Tease cracks will increase until at last
they will let the waters of tbe oceans
• aud rivers sink. into the fiery center of
the globe. Then will occur an eap10-
310n so terrible as may startle the In-
habitants of neiglibmeng worlds. The
last man in this case will probably be
some arctic explorer or Eskimo whore
the vast plains of ice around will save
In
from 'tent death and leave to grill a
few moments till the lee continents are
swallowed by redteet gases and steam.
Suppose these earth cracks develop
more slowly, they may suck away the
water without devastating explosions.
Then the last man's fate will be the
worst describable. Re will die of
thirst. The scene of his death will
probably be the great valley in the bed
of the Atlantic ocean, off the Brazilian
coast, half way between Rio Janeiro
a.ne the cape, wbere now six miles of
green water lie between the steamer's
keel and the abysmal slime beneath,
There, hopelessly digging in the ever
drying mud, be must perisb and leave
hlasuebtones to parch on a waterless
o
The antaretie polar lee cap has been
growing thicker and heavier for un-
counted ages. The distance from the
south pole to the edge of this ice cap is
1,400 miles. The ice rises steadily from
the edge to tbe center. At that center
It caenot be less than 12 miles In thick-
ness—twice as thick as Mount Everest
Is high.
Suppose it splits. Imagine the gi-
gantic mass of water and ice that will
come sweeping up north overthe oceans
and continents of the eartb! Wbere,
then, will the last man breathe his
final gasp? Higb up in the snows of
some great range he will perish miser-
ably of cold and starvation, looking
down on a huge shallow sea, beneath
whose tossing waters will lie the whole
of the races of the world,
Or last, and perhaps dreariest fate of
all, the human race may outlive other
mammals and last until the sun, as
some day it must, grows dull and cold
and vegetation dies from the chilled
earth. Tbe miserable remnant of
earth's people must then slowly die out
after ages of an existence to which
that of the Eskimo of today is a para-
dise.
Doing Without the Dot.
The small letter "I" was formerly
written without the dot. The dot was
introduced in the fourteenth century
to distinguish "I" from "e" in hasty
and indistinct writing. The letter "I"
was originally used where the letter
"j" is now employed. The distinction
between "1" and "J" was Introduced
by the Dutch printere at a compara-
tively recent date, and the "j" was dot-
ted beeause the "i," from which it was
derived, was written with a dot
Hint For Writers.
Don't moisten your new pen between
your lips before you begin to write.
Take your theap steal pen, dip it in the ,
ink. then bold it in the dame of a
match for a few seconds, wipe it care-
fully. dip it into the iuk again, aod
you bare a pen that will niake glad,
the heart within you, Try it
NetiV00 Rustier.
Before and Atter.
"My dear." said eirs. flunewell au
alie poured the coffee at breakfast the
other morning. "do you believe In tin
eternal fitness of things?"
'9 used to," replied finnewell, "but
that was before you began to make my
shirts,"—Claicago News.
THE CHINESE EAR CLEANER.
One ot the Strange Sights to Ito Seen
tit Manila streets.
Ln this city of strange and uunsual
sights there is probably walling that
appears so strange at nrst sigbt to
tbe American as the Cbinese ear clean-
er pursulug his -calling ou the street
corners. ',Me Chinaman so engaged is
provided with a stool and a email
bamboo ease, in whicla are inclosed
his lustrumenta
The Filipino is just as sure of bar.
ing bis ears cleaned on Suuday as an
American is of having, a shave, and in
the by streets and :thee -trees they iiite
up for all the world like a barber
shop on Sunday moruing, the only
difference being tbe Chinaman can't
say "next."
First of all the Chino takes a razor.
wilicti looks more like a propeller
blade than anything else, And. wiping
the victim's face with a. wet rag, pro-
ceeds to mop the dirt therefrom. Whits
watching this part of the proceedings
I was surprised at the flexibility of the
native uose as demonstrated by the
skillful lingers of the operator. To
eviudward, to leeward, on its stero,
beam and bow tbe native's nose is
rapidly twisted to avoid the aforesaid
razor. /laving removed the real es-
tate feora the native's face, the China-
man turns to the more (=cult task
of ear -cleaning. Tim smallest spot of
dirt and the tiniest tlesh worm is re-
moved before tbe operation is com-
plete, aud from the "heavenly expres-
sion" one would imagine that the oper-
ation was anything but pleasant—Ma-
nila Freedom,
"Two Politicians."
One of the first tbings done by a
stranger visiting Albany, says the
Philadelphia Call, is to pay 25 cents
and put himself at the mercy of
capitol guide.
Tbe guide makes a profound and
obsequious bow, like a prestidigitator
*bout to clump an auffieece, and pro-
eeeds to lift taie veil which hides the
mysteries of the great building.
On a recent Occasion the guide led a
stranger regretfully past "eleGintra"
empty frame and proceeded to identi-
fy the beads of notables that decorate
the stairway. He did fairly well until
the stranger pointed out Shakespeare
and Horner and asked erho they were.
"Thera," replied the guide, undaunt-
ed, "are the beads of two politicians
whose names 1 disremember!'
Newspaper Obituaries.
By this time, one would think, near-
ly everybody has eeased to wonder
at the way in wlilch newspapers cart
come out with column after column of
biography the very morning after
some eminent person has passed away,
and it Is an open secret that a care-
fully written "life" has been pigeon-
holed in the &Gee for months—nay,
years—before.
Biographies, interviews, personal
paragraphs. all yield their quota to the
compiling of an obituary, but in some'
cases the subject has the grewsome
experience of being waited upon while
yet living to furnish materials for the
notice.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Largest Natural Bridge.
Down on Pine creek, near Camp
Verde, A. T., is a natural bridge that
Is probably greater than any other in
the world. It is nearly five times the
size of the natural bridge of Virginia
and has a spam of more than 500 feet
across Pine creek, which is dry 800
days in the year. The height of the
bridge is about 80 feet, and it is about
600 feet wide.—Chicago Record.
Victorian Era Explained.
"Why is it," asked Miss Bookwisee
"that literature always flourishes
when a queen comes to the throne?"
"Because, I suppose," answered Mr.
Knowlines, "if one wants to be poet
laureate he has to write to the queen's
taste."—New lark Commercial Adm."
timer.
Holidays.
No man can be thoroughly depraved
SO long as he takes a holiday. It is
something the thief cannot steal, the
tax collector cannot appraise, the port-
ly ustrer cannot shave and the avari-
cious landlord cannot pluck. Like vir-
tue, it is its own reward. It shows the
beneficent side of that law by which
time once lost can never be restored,
for a holiday once enjoyed can never
bts entirely lost.—Toronto Globe.