HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1897-8-19, Page 7as,
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•)1IENNING INTO DEBT
DR. TALMAGE'S WARNING TO THE
i MEN OF THE PERIOD.
---
!Driven --Like an the to the slaughter" by
I .
the Evil Influences of Social Life—The
I Xeownward Pathe-Beweads of Honesty
and Industry.
• New -York, Aug. 15.—Dr. Talmage in
his sermon to -day shows how running
sinto hopeless debts and skepticism ]aye
iundone young men in town and come -
try. Tbe text Is Proverbs vii, 22, "As an
(ox to the slaughtern;
1 There is nothing in the voice or wan-
ner of the butcher to inchoate to the ox
1
that thee is death ahead. The ox thinks
chleoviservgeoihrlegreaonitiodaaytewill
rioh wpals revel
filenthe
field of
herbaceous luxuriance, but after awbile
the men and the boys close in 1113011 him
With sticks and storaes and shouting, and
drive him through bars and into a door-
• way, where he is fastened, and with a
well aimed stroke the ax fells him, and
M the anticipation of the redolent pas-
ture held is completely disappointed. So
many a young man has been driven on
by temptation to what be thought would
/
be paradisiacal enjoyment, but after
awhile influences with darker hue and
swarthier arm close in upon him, and he
finds that instead of making an exam-
siou into a garden he has been driven
Ors an ox to the slaughter."
We are apt to blame young men for
, being destroyed when we ought to blame
the influenees that destroy them, Society
!slaughters a great many young men by
the behest; "You must keep up appear-
!
,ances. Whatever be your salary, you
raust dress as well as others, you must
give wine and brandy to asmany friends,
you roust smoke as costly cigars, you
roust give as expensive entertainnaents,
and you must live in as fashionable a
boarding house. If you haven't the
money borrow. If you can't borrow,
make a false entry or subtract here and
there a bill from a bundle of bank bills.
1You will only have to make the decep-
tion a little while. In a few months or in
, a year or two nou can make it all right.
!)obody will be hurt by it, nobody will
, be the wiser. You yourself well not be
!damaged." By that awful process a
}hundred thousand men have been slaugh-
tered for time and slaughtered for etern
ity.
BorrowinMoney.
you borrow. There is nothing
g
Suppose
i
, wrong abont horrovving money. There is
hardly a man who has not sometimes
borrowed mouey, Vast estates have been
built on a borrowed dollar. But there
; are two kinds of borrowed money;
'Money borrowed for the purpose of start -
Ing or keeping up legitimate enterprises
, and expense and money borrowed to get
' that wirich you can do without The
i
; first is right, the other is wrong. If you,
' have =my enough of your own to buy
a coat, however plain, and then you bor-
row money for a dandy'routfit, you have
, taken the first revolution of the wheel
i down glade. Borrow for the necessities;
that may be wen. Borrow for the lux
/Uries; that tips your prospects over in
, the wrong direction,
1 The Bible distinetly says the borrower
I is servant of the lender, It is a bad state
. of things when you have to go down
aome other street to escape meeting some
one wnom you owe. If young men knew
1what ie the despotism of being in debt,
: more of them would keep out of it What
did debt do for Lord Bacon, with a mind
towering above the centuries? It induced
' him to take bribes and convict himself
;as a criminal before all ages. What did
:debb do for Walter Scott, broken hearted
at .Abbotsford? Kept him writing until
his band gave out in paralysie, to keep
the sberiff away from his piatures and
statuary. Better for him if be had mind-
ed the maxim which be had chiseled
over the fireplace at Abbotsford, "Waste
not, want not."
The trouble Is, my friends, that peo-
• ple do not understand the ethics of going
In debt, and that if you purchase goods
with no expectation of paying for them
or go into debts which you cannot meet
you steal just so much money. If I go
into a grocer's store and I buy sugars
and coffees and meats with no capacity
to pay for them and no intention of pay-
ing for them, I am more dishonest than'
if I go into the store, and, when the, gro-
cer's face is turned the other way, I fill
my pockets witn the articles of merehan-
.dise and carry off a bane In the one case
I take the merchant's time and I take the
time of his messenger to transfer the
goods to my house, while in the other
case I take none of the time of the mer-
chant, and I wait upon myself, and I
transfer the goods without any trouble
to hirn. In other words. a sneak thief is
• not so bad as a man who contracts debts
he never expects to pay.
Yet in all our cities there are families
who move every May day to get into
proximitg ,to other grocers and meat
shops aa apothecaries. They owe every-
body within half axone of where they
now live, and next May they will move
into a distant nart of the city, finding a
new lot of victims. Meanwhile you, the
• honest family in the new house, are
bothered day by day by the knocking at
the door of disappointed bakers and
butchers and dry goods dealers and news-
paper carriers, and you are asked where
_ your predecessor is. You do • not know.
fal ,It was arranged you should not know.
Meanwhile your predeoessor has gone to
some distant part of the city, and the
'people who have anything to sell have
sent their wagons and stopped there to
solicit the "valuable" custom of the new
ineighbor, and he, the new neighbor, with
great complacency and an air of affiu-
enee, orders the fnest steaks and the
highest priced sugars and the best of
canned frits and perhaps all the news-
papers. And the debts will keep on ac-
cumulating until he gets his goods on
the 801th of next April in the furniture
cart.
INoinads of City Life.
No wonder that so many of our nser-
chants fail in bueinees. They are swin-
dled into bankruptcy by these wander-
ing Arabs, these nomads of .city life.
They cheat he grocer out -of the green
apples Which make them sick, the phy-
sician who attends them during their
distress, and the undertaker who fits
deem out for departure from the neigh-
borhood where they owe everybody ehen
they pay the debt of nature, the only
• debt they ever do pay.
Now our young men are comIng up in
this depraved state of commercial ethics,
and I am solicitous about them. I want
•to warn them against being. slaughtered
on the sharp edges of debt. You want
many things you have not, my young
•, friends. You shall have them if you bave
• patience and honesty and industry. Cer-
tain lines of conduct always lead out to '
certain successes There is a law vehloh
controls even those things that seem hap-
hazard. I have been told by those who
have observed that it is possible to cal-
culate just how many letters will be
sent to the dead letter office every year
through misdirection; that it is possible
to ealculate just how many, letters will
be detained for lack of postage •stamps
through the forgetfulness of the senders,
and that it is possible to tell just how
many people will fall in the streets by
slipping on an orange • peel. In other
words, there are no abeidents. The lnost
insignificant event you ever heard of is
the link betweens two eternities—the
eternity of the pan and the eternity of
the future. Head the right way, young
man, and you will (Kane out at the right
goal.
Bring Me a young man and tell nee
what his physical health is and what his
mental caliber and what his habits, and
I will tell you what will be his destiny
for this world and his destiny for the
world to wane, and I will not make live
inathvirate propheoies out of the 500.
All this makes me solicitous in regard
to young men, and I want to snake them
nervous in regard to the contraction of
unpayable debts. I give you a paragraph
from my MU experience.
My first settlement as pastor was in a
village. My Wary seas $800 and a par-
sonage. The amount seemed enormous
to me, I said to myself, "What, all this
for one year!" I was afraid of getting
worldly under so much, prosperity. I re-
solved to invite all the cougregetion to
ray house in groups of e5 each. We be-
gan, and as they were the best eongrega-
tion in all the world and we felt nothing
was too good for them we piled all the
luxuries ou the table, I never completed
the emdertaking, At the end of six
months I was ne finanoial despair. I
found that we not ooly had not the surplus
of luxuries, but we had a struggle to get
the necessities, and I learned whet every
young an learns, in time to save him-
self or too late, that you must measure
the size of a anan's body before you begin
to cut the cloth for his coat.
Debtor',. Woes.
When a young man willfully and of
choice, having the comforts of life, goes
into the contraction of unpayable debts,
he knows not into what he goes. The
oreditors get after the debtor, the paok
of hounds in full cry, and, alas, for the
reindeer! They jingle his doorbell before
he gets up in the morning; they jingle
his doorbell after he has gone to bed at
night. They meet him as he comes off
• his front steps. They send him a postal
card or a letter in curtest style, telling
him to pay up. They attach his goods.
They want cash or a note at 30 days or
a note on demand. They call him a
knave. They say he lies, They want nine
disciplined in the church. They want
him turned out of the bank. They come
at him from this side and from that side
and from before and from behind and
from above and from beneath and he is
insulted and gibbeted and sued and
dunned and sworn at until he gets the
nervous dyspepsia, gots neuralgia, gets
liver complaint, gets heart disease, gets
convulsive disorder, gets consumption.
Now be is dead, and you say, "Of course
they will let him alone." Oh, no. Now
they are evatohful to see whether there
are any unnecessary expenses at the
obsequies to see whether there is any
useless handle on the casket, to see
whether there is any surplus plait on the
shroud, to see whether the hearse is cost-
ly or cheap, to see whether the flowers
sent to the casket have been bought by
the family or donated, to see in whose
name the deed to the grave is made out.
Then they ransack the bereft house-
hold, the books, the pictures, the car-
pets, the chairs, the sofa, the piano, the
mattresses, the pillow on which he died.
Cursed be debt! For the sake of your
own happiness, for the sake of your good
morals, for the sake of your immortal
soul, for God's sake, young man, as far
as possible keep out of it.
But I think more young men are
slaughtered through irreligion. Take
away a young man's religion and you
make him the prey of evil. We all know
that the Bible is the only perfect system
of morals. Now, if you want to destroy
the young man's morals'take his Bible
away. How will you do that? Well, you
will caricature his reverence for the
Scriptures, you will take all those inci-
dents of the Bible which can be made
mirth of—Jonah's whale, Saroson's foes,
Adam's rib—then you will caricature
eccentrio Christians, or inconsistent
Christians, then you will pass off as your
own all those hackneyed argurnents
against Christianity which are as old as
Tom Paine, as old as Voltaire, as old as
sin. Now, you have captured his Bible,
and you have taken his strongest fort-
ress. The way is comparatively clear,
and all the gates of his soul are set open
in invitation to the sins of earth and the
sorrows of death, that they may corm in
and drive the stake for their encamp-
ment.
Without ii.udder or Compass.
A steamer 1,500 miles from shore with
broken rudder and lost compass and hulk
leaking 50 gallons the hour is better off
than a young man when you have robbed
him of his Bible. Have you over noticed
how despicably mean it is to take away
the world's Bible without proposing a
substitute? It is meaner than to come to
a sick inan and steal his medicine,
meaner than to oome to a cripple and
steal his crutch, nreaner than to come to
a poor man and burn his house down.
It is the worst of all larcenies to steal
the Bible which has been crutoh and
medioine and food and eternal home to
so many. What a generous and naagnani-
MOUS business infidelity has gone into!
This splitting up of lifeboats and taking
away of fire esoapes and extinguishing
of lighthouses. I come out and I say to
such people, "What are you • eking all
this for?" "Oh,'they say, 'just for
fun!" It is such fun to see- • Christians
try to hold on to their Bibles! Many of
them have lost loved Ones and have been
told that there is a resurrection, and it
is such fun to tell them there will be no
resurrection, Many of them have believed
that Christ came to carry the burdens
and to heal the wounds of the world,
and it is such fun to tell them they will
have to be their own savior.
Think of the meanest thing you ever
heard of, then go clown 1,000 feet under-
neath it and you will find yourself at the
top of a stairs 100 miles long. Go to the
bottom of thentMrs, and you will End a
ladder 1,000 miles long; then go to the
foot of the ladder and look off a precipice
half as far as erom here to China, and
you will find the headquarters of the
meanness that would rob this world of
its only comfort in 'Efe, its only peace in
death and its ouly hope for immortality.
Slaughter'a young man's faith in God,
and there is not much more left to
slaughter.
• Now, what has become of the slaugh-
tered? Well, some of them are in •their
tather's or mother's house, broken down
in health, waiting to die. Others are in
the hospital, other@ are in the cerneterY,
or rather their bodies are, for their souls
have gone OA to eetribution. Not much
prospect for a young man who started
life with good health and good educa-
tion and a Christian example set him
and opportunity of usefulness, who gath-
ered all hia treasures and put them in
one box and then dropped it into the
A AVeapon of Defense.
Now, how is this wholesale slaughter
to be stopped.? There is not a 'media who
is not interested in that question. The
object of my sermon is to put a weapon
in each of your hands for your own de-
fense. Wait not for Young Men's Chris
titan associations to protect you or
oburehes to protect you. Appealing to
God for help, take care of yourself.
First, have a room somewhere that
you can call your own. Whether it be the
back parlor of a fashionable boarding
house or a room in the fourth story of a
cheap lodging, I care not. Only leave
that one room your fortress, Let not the
dissipater or unclean step over the thus-
hokl. If they cosne up the long flight
of stairs and. knock at the door, meet
them face to face and kindly yet firmly
refuse them admittance. Have a few
family portraits on the wall, if you
brought them with you from your coun-
try home. Have a Bible on the stand. If
you can affora it and can play on olle,have
an instrulnent of music—harp or flute
or cornet or melodeon or violin or piano.
Every morning before you leave that
room pray. Every night after you crane
eoine in that room pray. Make that
room your Gibraltar, your Sevastopol,
your Mount Zion. Let no bad book or
newspaper come into that room any more
tban you would allow a cobra to coil on
your table.
Take we of yourself. Nobody else
will take care of you. Your help will
not come up two or three or four
flights of stairs. Your help will come
through the roof, down from heaven,
from that God who in the 6,000 years of
the world's history never betrayed a
young man who tried to be good and a
Christian. Let me say in regard to your
adverse worldly circumstances in passing
that you are on a level now with these
who are finally to succeed. Mark my
words, young man, and think of it 80
years from now. You will find that
those who 80 years from now are the
millionaires of this country, who are the
orators of the courstry, who are the poets
of the country. who are the strong mer-
chants of the country, who are the great
philanthropists of the country—nrightest
In oburch and state—are this morning
on a level with you, not an inch above,
and you in straitened circumstances now.
Herschel earned bis living by playing
a violin at parties, and in the interstices
of the play he would go out and look up
at the midnight heavens, the field of his
immortal conquests. George Stephenson
rose from being the foreman in a colliery
to be the most renowned of the world's
engineers. No outfit, no cispital to start
with! Young man,go downto the library
and get some books and read of what
wonderful mechanism God gave you in
your hand, in your font, in your eye, in
your ear, and then ask sorne doctor to
take you into the disseoting room and
illustrate to you what you have read
about, and never again commit the blas-
phemy of saying you have no capital to
start with. Equipped( Why, the poorest
young man is equipped as only the God
of the *hole universe could afford to
equip him. Then his body—a very poor
affair compared with his wonderful soul
—oh, that is what makes me solicitous!
I am not so much anxious about you,
young man, because you have so little
to do with as I am anxious about you
hee.ause you have so much to risk and
lose or gain
There is no class of persons that so
stir my syrapathies as young men in
great cities. Not quite enough salary to
live on and all the temptations that come
from thataleficit. Invited on all hands
to drink, and their exhausted nervous
system seeming to demand stimulus.
Their religion caricatured by the most of
the clerks in the store and most of the
operatives in the factory. The rapids of
temptation and death rushing against
that young man 40 miles the hour, and
he in a frail boat headed up tsream with
nothing but a broken oar to work with.
Unless Almighty God help them they
will go under.
Beware of the Wine Cup.
Ah, when I told you to take care of
yourself you misunderstood me if you
thought I meant you are to depend upon
human resolution, whioh may be dis-
solved in the foam of the wine cup or
may be blown out with the first gust of
temptation. Here is the helnaet, the
sword of the Lord God Almighty. Clothe
yourself in that panoply, and you shall
not be put to confusion. Sin pays well
neither in this world nor the next, but
right thinking and right believing and
right acting will take you in safety
through this life and in transport
through the next. I never shall forget a
prayer I heard a young man make sorne
15 years ago. It was a very short prayer,
but it was a tremendous prayer: "0
Lord, help us! We find it so very easy to
de wrong and so hard to do right. Lord,
help us!" That prayere warrant you,
reached the ear of God and reached his
heart. And there are a bundred rnen who
have found out—a thousand young men,
perhaps—who have found out that very
thing. It is so:very easy to do wrong and
so hard to do right.
I got a letter one day, only one para-
graph, which I shall read :--
Having moved around somewhat, I
have run across many young men of in-
telligence, ardent strivers after that will-
onthe-wisp--fortune—and of one of these
I would speak. He was a young English-
man of 23 or 24 years who came to New
York, where he had no iscrantintanoes,
with barely sufficient to keep him a
couple of weeks. He had been tenderly
reared, perhaps I should say too tenderly,
and was not used to earning his living
and found it extremely difficult to • get
any position that he was capable of fin-
ing. After many vain efforts in this di.
rection he found himself on a Sunday
evening in Brooklyn, near your church
with about $3 left of his small capital.
Providence seemed to lead him to your
door, and he deteinnined to go in and
hear you. •
"He told me his going to hear you
that night was undoubtedly the turning
point in his life, for when be went into
yeur church he felt desperate, but while'
listening to your discourse his better
nature got the mastery. I truly believe
from what this young man told me that
your sounding the depths of hie heart
that night alone brought him back to his
God, when) he was so near leaving." e
That is the echo of multitudes. I am
not preaching en abstraction, but a great
reality. 0 friendless young man 0
prodigal young man 0 broken hearted
young man, discouraged young man,
wounded young man, I commend to you
Christ this day, the best friend a man
ever had. He meats you this ramming.
Despise not that emirtion rising in your
soul. It is divinely lifted. Leek into the
face of Christ. Lift one prayer to nick
fatber's God, to your mother's God nod
this morning get the pardoning blessino.
Now, while I speak, you are at the toms
of the road, and thie is the right road,
and that is the wrong road, and I see
you start on the right road.
One Sabbath morning at the close of
the service I saw a gold watch of the
world renowned and deeply lamented
• violinist, Ole Bull, You remember he
died in his island home off the coast of
Norway. That gold watch he had wound
up day after day through his last Meese,
and then be Mid to his companion,
"Now I wane to wind this watch as long
es I can, and then when I am gone I
want you to keep it wound up until it
goes to my friend, Dr. Doremus, in New
York,and then he will keep it wound up
until his life is done, and then I want
the watch to go to his young son, MY
especial favorite."
The great musician who more than
any other artist had made the violin
speak and sing and weep and laugh and
triumph—for it seemed when he drew
the bow across the strings as if all earth
and. heaven shivered in delighted sym-
pathy—the great musician, in a room
looking out upon the sea and surround-
ed by his favorite instruments of music,
closed Isis eyes in death, 'While all the
world was mourning at his departure
sixteen orowded steamers fell into line of
funeral procession to carry his body to
the mainland. There were 50,000 of his
countrymen gathered in an anmbitheater
of the hills waiting to hear tbe eulogium,
and it was said, when the great orator
of the day with stentorian voice began
to speak, the 50,000 people on the hill-
sides but into tears. Ah, that was the
obese of a life that had done so much to
make the world happy. But I have to
tell you, young man, if you live right
and die rght, that was a tame scene com-
pared with that which will greet you
when from the galleries of heaven the
one hundred and forty and four thousand
shall accord with Christ in crying, "Well
done, thou good and faithful servant!"
Ancl the influences that on earth You
put in motion will go down from genera-
tion to generation, the influences you
wound up handed to your olaildren, and
their influences wound up and handed to
their children, antil watch and clock are
po more needed to mark the progress, be-
cause time itself shall be no longer.
Manuscript Room of the British Museum.
In the bewildering maze of the British
Museum, where many ranee of shelves
and cases are filled with woria's tress -
sures, mere is one little room that at-
tracts a greater number of visitors than
any other. The crowds that throng
about the cases in this room are com-
posed of persons a curiously diverse
characteristics. It is a center of interest
for scholars and literary people, and yet
seems as attractive to the least learned
of the visitors. This is the room which
contains the department of autographs
and manuscripts, and the treasures
within Aare perhaps the most humanly
interesting in the whole museum.
Here are all manner of writings by the
`hands of the world's greatest men of
many ages and countries. There are per-
sonal letters of kings and popes, queens,
ministers and courtiers, whose names in
history, in story, and in song seem not
to stand for real men and women, but
rather for legendary beings, and these
letters reveal in some homely phrase or
bit of simple sentiment a touch of human
nature whioh seems to make them more
akin to those who curiously scan the
documents to -day. • Here one may come,
as it seems, to actual acquaintance with
the most notable of the characters in
Shakespeare's historecal dramas, and get
a new reading, in the quaint original,
of passages in his works. Here are char-
ters and State papers that tell volumes
of history in a few lines; letters of the
great religious reformers, of statesmen,
generals, poets and composers. These
autograph documents, many of them
letters from husband to wife or lover to
sweetheart, show famous personages in a
very different light from that in which
they are commonly seen in the pages of
history.—D. C. MacDonald, in Lippin-
cott's.
Where Shorthand is Weak.
It was an hour or more after mid-
night.
There was a furious ringing at the
door bell. •
A few minutes elapsed, and then a
head was thrust out of a second -story
window.
"What do you want?"
"This is where Mr. Speecher lives,
isn't it?"
"Yes, I am Mr. Speeeher."
"You delivered a particularly interest-
ing address before the Advancement of
Mankind Club this evening on 'The
Dead of '96?' "
"I did."
"You spoke of a noted man named
Alcibiades McGibbeny?"
It yes. ,3
"I want you to tell me whether he
was a Protestant or a Roman Catholic."
"He was a Protestant. What—"
"That's all I want to know. I'm the
shorthand reporter that took down the
speech, and I couldn't tell from my notes
whether you said that at the age of
twenty-seven he entered she ministry or
a monastery. Ever so much obliged to
you. Good night!"
High Enjoyment.
One of the highest and best enjoyments
comes through what is done for others.
This is believed in theoretically, but
seldom practically. If a Inan has money,
he imagines the way to enjoy it is either
to keep and accumulate it or to spend it
on peesonal gratification; yet he misses
the very finest of its delights when lie
refuses to share it or its beuefits with
others. So with our time our talents,
and our thoughts—kept to ourselves, or
used simply for our OW1I delectation,
they de uot give us a tithe of the real
enjoyment that they afford when we
use them liberally for the beneht of the
family, or friends, or the community.
No one who has once tasted the sweets of
ministering successfully to the happines-
of others will ever again relapse into a
pugely selfish use of his advantages.
Exceptions.
Perfect children.
Doctors who agree. .
Always wise parents.
A man without an enemy.
Lovers who never quarrel.
Genius without opportunity.
A great character flawless.
Pride and humanity hand in hand.
One who loves his enemy as himself.
Sense that attracts as soon as beauty.
The tattling toegue that tells the truth.
Greater self abnegation than that of
trust love.
. • . - •
• I
. ,
tans'
wwwwlwww
pARTIES who intend going to
the Klondike Gold Fields or
investing in, Stock Companies op-
erating in that country, should send
and get the
Yukon and Klondike
Gazeteer. ec_te 4
5
The Gazeteer is very extensive,
abounding in Photo En g ra-vings and
Maps, and gives the most reliable
information as to routes, outfitting
points, climate, etc. It also con-
tains Wm. Ogilvie's complete report
to date on the Klondike country's
indescriba,ble wealth w hi c h so
astounded the Ottawa ate horitie,s.
By Mail Post Paid tr
for Fifty Cents .4
Stamps Received.
4,44-1444***
Address the
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44 BAY STREET,
TORONTO, ONT.
LANGUAGE OF CHILDREN,
Ourlons Vocabulary of Tots—They Are In-
clined to abort Cut Phrases.
A portmanteau word is a word which
has anotber word packed inside it, or, to
put it lis another way, two words and two
Ideas are run together, and a compound,
which is also a new word, is produced.
For example, a girl of under 3 was lately
told that she was going abroad, and. also
that she was going to reach foreign parts
by going on board ship. A mere grown
up person would have plodded on, using
the two phrases side by side. But at 23e
the mind is too alert for these dull ways,
and a portmanteau word was soon pro-
duced. "When am I going abroadships?"
became a half bourly question. How
much more expressive and how mueb less
long tbrin "When tun Izoing abroad on
board ship?" Both the new and important
Ideas of foreign travel and sea voyage are
covered over by that "one narrow word,"
"abroadships." There is, of course, noth-
ing the least remarkable in such a com-
pound. Every nursery can furnish exarae
pies of new words which often display far
more euphony and also far better logie
than the dreadful words prodticed by the
men of science as labels for their new dis-
coveries in the regions of applied chem-
istry.
The speech of children shows also a won -
dean], quickness and resource in the mat-
ter of supplying the language with direct
pbrases and forms of speech. While the
grown ups aro content to walk around, the
child takes a verbal short out Children
are very seldom content with such round-
about devices as "Had not I better" do
this or that. "Bettern't 1" is the much
more direct and much more expressive
form adopted in almost till nurseries.
Take, again, the word "whobody" to
match with "anybody" and somebody."
When the facetious parent remarks,
"Somebody's been walking on this flower
bed," be may, if his offspring is inclined
to ingenuities of language, be answered
by the interrogation, "Whobody?" These
portmanteau words and short out phrases
show that if obildren could only be in-
duced to keep up the verbal habits prevalent
from 2 to 5 our language might be indefi-
nitely enriched. Unfortunately after 5 or
6 the language of children is apt to become
pedantically conventional and cermet —
London Spectator. '
Boyai marriage by Proxy.
One of the queerestfeatures of court life
In Europe is the marriage by proxy of
royal personages. There are at the present
moment no less than three royal ladies
who have been thus wedded—the queen
regent of Spain, the dowager queen of
Portugal and the ex -careen of Naples.
Kings and reigning sovereigns are held to
be too important personages to be married
`anywhere else than in their own domin-
ions. On the other hand, it is held to be
infra dignitatsi for a spinster princess of
the blood who is about to blossom forth
Into a full fledged queen or empress to
travel abroad in quest of a consort, In
order to meet this difficulty the royal or
imperial bridegroom delegates one of the
prinoipal nobles of the realm, who goes
through the religious and civil portion of
the wedding ceremony in the capital of
the bride's country on behalf of lijs mas-
ter, making the responses for him and
tendering his hand, as well as the'ring, at
the prescribed points of the ceremony. He
then accompanies her to his master's do-
minioas, acting as her ohief escort. _Ac-
cording to the ideas of- the church, a cere-
mony of this kind is sufficientlegbindinte,
upon the bride and upon the royal bride-
groom to render any further ceremony,
ecclesiastical or civil, superfluous, and
when any additional religious function
takes place it usually assumes the form of
a "Te Detun" and a solemn benediction,
attended by both husband and wife im-
mediately on the arrival of the latter in
the capital of her adopted country.—San
• Francisco Argonaut.
Mental Strain.
"How much insanity develops in hot
weather!"
"Yes. People leee their minds when
their ke bills come in."—Chicago Record.
His enigma:dims Spirit,
"Yes, sir, I've got a fight in me,"
Says John L. at his lunch.
Now what ie really means, you see,
Is that he's full of punch.
—Town Topics.
Then Be Got a Gold One.
She—I hear that Gladys gave you the
ooid shoulder at last night's hop.
He (dreamily)—No. It was warm, very
warm.—Up to Date.
Sweethearts Always.
"If the wife could be sweetheart always,"
Is a joy that the bard would discovers,.
Air, the wife is a sweetheart always
When the husband is always a lover.
—Detroit Pree Preea
A HAPPY GIRL.
ics A m41M nellY 1eldg of Her illness and
SIR b. fs(I .1,111 Cure Statemont That
Should be by Every Girl In Va•lada.
Miss Amina, Kelly, a weinanown and
numb estoemed young lady ilvtng at
Maplewood, N.B., writes: "I consider it
my duty to let you know what your
wonderful medicine has done for me. In
April, 1896, I began to lose flesh and
color; my appetite failed and on going
upstairs I would be so tired I would
have to rest. I continued in this cOncli-
tion for three months when I was taken
suddenly ill and not abbe to go about.
Our family doctor was called in and he
pronounced my illness ohlorosis (poverty
of the blood.) At first bis treatment ap-
peared to do me good, but only for a
time, and then I began to grow worse.
I continued taking his mediethe for three
months, when I was so discouraged at
not regaining my health that I declined
taking it any longer. I then tried a liquid
medicine advertised to euro oases tike
mine, but did not obtain the slightest
benefit. I had become terribly ematdated
and weak. There was a constant terrible
roaring noise In my bead; my feet and
ankles were swollen and I was as pale as
a (Apse. One day while in this condition
my father brought home a box of Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills and asked me to try'
them. In less than a week I oould sit up,
and in a couple of weeks I amid walk
quite a distance withoutiking tired. My
appetite returned, the roaring in my bead
ceased, I began to gain flesh and color,
and before I had used a half dozen boxes
I was as healthy as I had ever be n In
my life. My friends did not expect me
to recover and are now rejoicing at the
wonderful change Dr. Williams' Pink
Pills have wrought in me. It my state-
ment will be the means of helping some
other discouraged sufferer you are at
perfect liberty to publish it."
The above statement was sworn before
me at 'Maplewood, York Co., N.B., this
14th day of May, 1897.
TIMOTHY W. SMITH, :LP.
To ensure getting the genuine ask al-
ways for Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for
Pale People, and refuse all substitutes
and nostrums alleged to be jist as good.
• Wby will you allow a cough tb lacerate
your throat and lungs and run the risk of
filling a consumptive's grave, when, by
the timely use of Bickle's Anti -Consump-
tive Syrup the pain can be allayed and the
danger avoided. This syrup is pieasan t to
the taste,. and unsurpassed for relieving,
healing and curing all affections of the
teroet and lungs, colds, coughs, bron-
chitis, ete„ etc.
Knew it WHS. First -Class.
"And how much will the postage on
these papers be?" asked the lady editor
of the woman's edition thoughtfully.
"Well," said the postoffice man, "the
regular rates on second-class matter
are—"
"I don't care what the rates on second-
class matter are," interposed the lady
editor imperiously. "Tbis paper will go
as first-class matter or not at
Washington Times.
Sleeplessness is due to nervous excite-
ment The delicately constituted, the
financier, the business man, and those
whese occupation necessitates great men-
tal strain or worry, all suffer less or more
from it. Sleep is the great restorer of a
Worrigd brain, and to get sleep cleanse the
stoinstch from all impurities with a few
doses of Parmelee's Vegetable Pilis, gela
tine coated, containing no mercury, and
are guaranteed to give satisfactiou or • the
money will be refunded,
• . Down by the Sea. •
el'aole—Wbat makes you think that Miss
Charmynge is the MOSt popular girl on
• the beaob?
Tom—She's the only one the other girls
refer to as a "designing. creature."—New
• York Journal.
Out of Sorts.—Syniptoms, ITeadacae,
loss of appetite, furred tongue, and /- -
eral indisposition. These synaptem1.
negleoted, develop into acute dieease, .
is a trite saying that aa "ounce 02preyee-
tion is vvorth a pound of cure," and
little attention at this point may savse
montlis of sickness tend large doctor bills,.
_For this complaint take from two to three
of Parmelee's Vegetable Pine on going to
bed, stall one or two for thwee nights in
• sacceesion. and a cure will be eff�ote&
•
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ent