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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1896-11-19, Page 2MD BAGGAGE SI ASRER. By W. L. ALDEN. (Copyright, 189h1 The accommodation train from Athens- 'dtle bad just drawn up at the station. and a eolitary passenger had alighted. I. was standing beside the station -master on the platform. nearly oppoite the baggage- car- Suddenly from the door of the lat- ter there shot a large, hair-covored trunk, wbioh came towards me revolving on one of its ends at a surprising rate of speed. The station -master seized me by the arm and dragged me out of the way of the trunk, thus saving me from serious injury; for the trunk, continuing its career across the platform, struck against a wooden column, and, bursting open, tweeted the platform in its vicinity with the m&seelhaneous property of its' owner. I was about to express my indignation when my companion exclaimed, with genuine enthusiasm, "Well! I never saw a trunk handled better. be'gosh ! not andhewas rJoe Stryker, told 5 even , ll reckoned the champion baggage -smasher of the North-West ". "You don't mean to say," said I, "that you approve of destroying people's property, and endangering people's lives, as that baggage -master has just done?" "I moan to say." replied my friend, "I 410T ONE OF THE BnnAKES\1Et TO HELP HE Lira TRE COFFIN." self, one of the best pieces of .professional. work I ever did. The way of it was this: I hove that trunk oat of the baggage oar the minute the car reached the end of the platform. The train was a long one, and moving middling fast at the time, and it was this that gave the trunk its magnificent start down the platform. "Cy Traefit came along to where the splinters of his trunk were lying, and NTas so overcome with the sight that he just sat down on the marble blockand remarked to himself in a kind of low and thoughtful voice 'Well I'll be d—d I sang out to him as the train started on again 'That there iron don't seem to work so very well after all!' . Bet Cy. didn't nay anything. He was thinking, and I don't mind saying that he thought out a first-class scheme—that is, it would have been if is bad only worked: "I didn't see anything of Cy. for a month, until one day, when my train stopped at West Tangiers, where Cy. lived, as I afterwards heard, I found a handsome coffin waiting to be put aboard the train. Now -a -days, when a coffin is sent by freight or express is is always nailed up in a big packing box, but in those days handsome Collins woreit sort n folk and lav in the North-West, 0 ore fn n \ the. could afford to own one never thought of concealing it in a packing - box "I was preparing to slide the coffin into my car when a man with a big piece of crape on his hat comes up to sue and says to me "That's the remains of my poor mother-in-law. I know you'll handle her careful for old acquaintance, sake:' Who should it be but Cy. True- tt? I hadn't ever heard of his having had a wife, but I never thought of doubt- ing his word, and I felt real sorry for him. So I says, 'I'm mighty sorry to bear it, Cy., and you can depend on me to do my best in the way of handling the poor lady's remains.' Cy.,he just dabbed his eyes with his handkerchief, and said, 'Thank you, my friend,' and then went into the smoking car, leaving the coffin in my charge. "I couldn't help thinking that Cy's mother-in-law must have been a good deal above Cy's weight in her lifetime, for her coffin weighed more than any coffin I had ever handled. However that wasn't my concern. Some men like heavy women, and some like light ones. Not being a married man myself, I don't know which is the best; but, speaking front a common-sense point of view, it seems to me that when trams hundred pounds of wife don't cost any more than one hundred pounds, a sensible man will take the most be can get for his money. "I gave the old lady a nice, quiet corner in my car, and we carried her along to New BerIinopolis, which at that time was a flourishing town, though it's about as dead now as this identical town where we're sitting. I got one of the brakesman to help ins lift the coffin, and set it down gently in the baggage -room of the station; and the thing was so heavy that I strained my back lifting it, and couldn't do justice to ordinary trunks for the next fortnight However, I thought I had shown proper respect to the dead, and when Cy. thanked me, and said that he and the remains would be going on to Garrison's Bridge the next day, and that he hint only brought them down to New Berlinopolis to have a fun- eral service, the church in West Tangiers being closed for repairs in consequence of the minister's having eloped with one of •the deacons' wives, I wished that I could go to the funeral myself and back Cy. up. But my duties were imperative, and I said good -by to Cy., hoping that be would take some other train than mine the next time he wanted to carry any de- ceased corpses with him. "They told sue afterwards that Cy. paid the station -master at New Berlino- polls to let him keep the coffin looked up in the baggage -room for the night, with the privilege of keeping the key and go- ing in from time to time to sea if it was all right. I never met anybody who went to the funeral at New Berlinopolis, but I did hear that Cy., in spite of bis grief showed his samples to all the busi- ness men in the town, and made some unusually good sales. "The next day, when my train came along„ there was Cy, on the platform with his coffin He told me that the "that I like to see a man thorough about his business, whatever it is. If his busi- ness is baggage -smashing, I like to see him smash it thoroughly. That's what I *lid myself when I was baggage -master. and no man who knows this road will 'contradict sue. Why, Stryker and me, we bad a match for the championship one summer. The man was to win who smashed the largest percentage of trunks, not including, of course, valises or such small truck. Well, I smashed 23 per cent. of all the trunks Ihandled during that beonly smashed 27 Limo, and Stryker per cont. So you see he wasn't so very far ahead of me after all." "It mast take a good deal of e_eperi- ease to handle a heavy trunk in the way that fellow handled that trunk," said I, looking at the wreck of the unknown traveler's personal property. "'It's all in the way you start a trunk a -going" was the reply "You can take a trunk that is so heavy that it strains you to lift up one end of it,but if you balance it ou one corner and give it a quick turn roll along wrist, it will till it fetches up against something as if it was shot out of a rifled cannon. Naturally wben a man has to handle fifty or a hun- dred or snore heavy trunks in a day he gets to take a pride in the way he does it. Why I remember a few years ago when the women got into the way of carrying 'trunks six feet by four, and weighing six or eight hundred pounds that a baggage - master who did not smash 13 per cont of them wasn't considered to be up to his work, and he'd soon find that the com- pany hadn't any further use for him" The train was on its way. The owner of the unfortunate trunk gathered up his possessions, crammed them into their damaged receptacle, and climbed into the hotel omnibus wihout a word of coin - plaint "I like that chap," said the station- master "He'san old traveler, he is. Now if he hadn't been used to railroads he'd have been cursing the company and talking about bringing an action against them. But he knows it ain't no use. There has never been a way found yet of getting ahead of a smart baggage -master, though lots of men have tried to do it. If you just sit down and make yourself eomfortable,I'll tell you about a man wbo did get she best of me for a little while when I was baggage -master of the day express on this very road, and he was about the smartest traveler I ever met professionally. "This man's name was Truefit—Cy. Trueft—and he was a commercial travel- ler who carried a full line of samples with him, and carried them in a midd- ling big and heavy trunk. Well he got tired of having his trunk busted open and his samples scattered on the plat- form two or three times a week and he swore that lie would get a trunk that no baggage -master' could smash. The boys along the road smiled considerably when they heard of it, for they knew me pretty well and calculated that . I could attend to any trunk that Cy. could invent. ' "The first thing be triedOwas naturally an iron trunk. Amen always believes that an iron trunk is stronger than a wooden trunk until he tries it. When be does try it he finds that the heavier the trunk is the harder 'it will bring up against any obstacle and the more eter- nally and everlastingly it will go to smash. Cy. had a trunk built of shost iron with heavy iron ribs and it weighed pretty near as much as one of these fire -proof safes. Be calculated that I or any other bag- gage -master would find it too heavy to handle and that if some one did manage to send it kiting across the platform it wouldn't come to any harm. Thefirst trip he' made with . that trunk. it came into my bands. Cy.: was to stop. at Carthage Centre about fifty miles down the road; and when hit got Olathe platform the first thing he saw was that trunk flying down . ,the whole length of it at about twice the speed of an ordinary trunk. It jumped' off the end of the platform and getohed.up against a big block of marble that was lying in the' grass. The air was just full of samples and 'shirts and bottles and hair -brushes and such, The train 'man allowed that they had never seen such a complete smash since they ' bad been rallroailingand,.I consider it my - end he said be never saw a man so full of 'grief as Oy. seemed to be when' he walked into the hotel with six men carry- ing the coffin after him. 'After Cy. had registered his name he says to' the clerk, "I should like to have that coffin placed in my room for the night." "'What's in it?' asked the clerk: " 'The remains of my beloved wife's mother," says Cy., in a broken, sort of voice. " 'That settles it,' said the clerk. `Sorry to disoblige you, but we can't allow no remains in uo room in this house. We'll put your good lady out in the woodshed, where she'll be perfectly comfortable; but this ain't no cemetery nor yet no undertaker's shop, and we don't furnish accommodation inside afi the hotel for anybody's remains.' " `But,' says Cy., 'she was embalmed by the best embalmer in this sectiou, and there's no earthly reason why I shouldn't have her in my room. She'll give a dual less trouble than most of the women you take in.' • " 'I've said my say,' said the clerk. 'This is a hotel for live folks, tun' not for remains. If you don't like our rules ail you have to do is to leave.' 'irnt stood reflecting for a minute, and then ho leans over and whispers to the clerk, who burst out laughing and said, 'U, very well! That alters the case. Con- sinering the character of your remains I don't mind letting them eo into he call h t - your room.' And with that s t if a dozen porters, and they carry Cy's mother-in-law tip three pair of stairs ; and pretty bard work they must have found is "The next day but one my train got to Spartansville an hour and a half late. You see the accommodation train had gone off the track down just below Spart- ansvllle through getting mixed up with a pair of oxen and a load of hay that was trying to cross the track ahead of it, so we had to lay up till the track was clear. A little while before we were ready to start X saw Cy. Truefit come on to the platform with his coffin followingbehind hint on a truck. Ho seemed a little as- tonished at seeing me, and I didn't mind letting him see that I was astonished to find that he hadn't burled that coffin yet. "' What does all this mean. Cy. ?' says L 'Ain't you never going to get your remains comfortably under ground?' " 'Couldn't bury her at Spartansville,' said Cy. The cemetery was closed for repairs; so I'm taking her down to Smyrna where I've made arrangements to have the funeral to -morrow. " 'I never heard of closing a cemetery for repairs,' said I. 'What kind of re- pairs do you mean?' " 'Oh, whitewashing the tombstones and mowing the grass, and such like,' says he, "They won't be able to bury anybody in that cemetery for a week.' "Well, I concluded it wasn't any busi- ness of mine how they managed the Spartansville cemetery, so I said no more; but the braltesman and I we got the coffin into the baggage car and sat on it to rest, for it seemed heavier than ever. "That fellow is playing a game on you,' said the brakesman. 'How's that.?' said I. " 'There ain't no corpse in that coffin,' says the brakesman. 'It weighs three funeral had been a brilliant success, and that he was now going to take the re• mains down to Spartansville, and settle them comfortably in the cemetery there. I thought to myself that the man was running the funeral business into the ground, for one funeral is all that any one corpse is entitled to. according to my notion. However, I didn't wish to in- terrupt Cy's mourning by any remarks of my own, so I just called the brakes - man, and we got the remains aboard the "WE'LL PUT TOWS GOOD LADY IN TIM WOODSHED." train. When we had got through, drop- ping the coffinon one of.sny feet and one of the brakesman's hands, and everything was comfortable the brakesman said, 'If these hero remalns'are any relation of yours, I wish for to say nothing; _ but i1 they ain't none of your family's I'll just remark that whoever's in that coffin must have been filled up choke -full of lead, and serve 'him right. I don't doubt that there have been fifty shot guns fired into that corpse, for it weighs four times what any healthy corpse ought to weigh.' You see the man's thumb was pretty well smashed, and in the circumstances he couldn't have been expected to feel kindly towards the remains. "At Spartansville, Cy. , as I was told by the station -master there, wanted to leave ills mother-in-law in the baggagmeroom for the night with free access to her, but the station-master•wouldn't consent to it. So Cy, bad to take her to the hotel. A friend of mine,who happened to be in the hotel at the time, told the all about it, and I get her on end close to the open door, and when we reached the platform and the train was still doing a good, fifteen miles an hour we launched her. You should have seen, that coffin waltz fn'�s down the platform right through the. ail,die of a gang of Dutch emigrants, and laying them out right and left. She went pretty near the wnole length of the platform before she lost her rotary mo- tion, and when she did lose it she fast settled down for a good slide on her greased end. There was a big elm tree close to the end of the platform, and the coffin hit it good end square, and went into a million pieces, filling the air with Cy's samples. The emigrants that hadn't been his went for those samples, and be- fore Cy. could get out of the train every- thing small enough be shoved under an emigrant coat had disappeared. "'Sorry that your poor mother-in-law has met with this accident,' says I to Cy. Buttransporting remains on the' rail- road is a mighty uncertain business. I've thought all along that you'd bettor have buried her where she died instead. of carting her all over creation.' "Cy. looked at me and then et his samples, such as were left, and, then at sue again, and made up his mind to take itsmiling.'Well.' says he,'I had the VH 1. best of you while the gamlasted. It was worth the whole cargo to see the careful way you handled that there coffin. Why, man, I never bad no mother-in- law, nor yet no wife—that is, duce I left the Bast.' "it was a middling smart game, and I'll allow that it took sue in. But in the nature of things it couldn't last, and , I calculate that it cost Cy. in the end con- siderable more than it was worth. We remembered hint on the road after that, and the accidents that kept a happening to his trunks would have discouraged pretty near any other man." "WELL I'LL BE D --D1" times what any corpse would weigh, un- less it was Barnum's fat woman. Then again I see that fellow laughing in his sleeve when zee and you were wrestling with that coffin. If he was a mourner he wouldn't run the risk of being caught rejoicing in public.' " 'It is mighty curious how he keeps this coffin above ground,' says L 'It's more than a week now since he started to bury it, and be's been riding all over the line ever since. " `Where's he going to take what he calls 'the remains' to now?' asked the man. " ` 'Down to Smyrna,' says I. " `There's a pretty long platform there' said the brakesman,and if you and I were to give that coffin a twist just as the train strikes the platform, we would probably find out what's in it' " 'That wouldn't oe showing fitting re- spect to the dead,' says I ---`that is, if there really is a dead woman in the coffin.' "Dead woman be hanged!' says he. 'Does 'Truefit pretend that she's embalm- ed?' " `So he says,' said L " 'Well then, gimme a screw -driver, and we'll know the truth about this yer affair inside of two minutes,' says the brakesman. "He went and borrowed a screw -driver from the engineer, and went to work to unscrew the coffin lid. ?There wasn't as much remains in that coffin as there gen- erally is of a man that's blown up with dynamite. It was 'choke -full, as far as we could see, of silks and all sorts of goods, such as Cy. was in the habit of travelling with. We couldn't quite under- stand how the thing came to weigh as much as it did till we had partly unpaeked it, and then we found that . there was several hundred weight of lead pigs fas- tened to the bottom of the coffin...Tbis hurt my feelings, for I saw at once that Cy. had put the lead there just to snake trouble for me or any other baggage - master. " 'What do you say now?'. says the brakesman. " 'Say!' said I. 'Why that I'll smash that coffin when we get to Smyrna so that Cy. Truant, won't find a piece of it big enough for a toothpick.' " 'And I'll help ,you,' says the ?pan. 'We'll just get her up on one end, and when we get to the platform we'll tip her out and set her going. I only wish we could manage so as to let her bring up against Cy's legs, but we can't have everything here to please us.'' Before we got .to. Smyrna everything was ready. We had Ioosened the screws of the coffin all round so that she could go to pieces all the more easy, and I greased the biggest end of her, so that she'd slide her level best. Then the brakesman Something New for Town or Country. You bake a sake in two tiers, frosting it handsomely. There must be a place made in the center which may serve as a renoptaaclo for many little bundles call- ed favors. To arrange for this, bake the lower tier in a large pan in which you have set a smaller one; you will put the batter in the space between the sides of the two pans. When baked take out upon smoothing level; frost it nicely; replace the pan in the center again mad put into it your favors. The second cake must be a tier baked in a dish with a tube in the centre, In- vert this, and ice stiles and bottom. Set it on top of the other cake; it must cover the pan in which you put your favors. Decorate it as you choose. Some young lady must preside over it, selling slices at ten cents each, cutting as the slice Is sold, and each slice entitles the buyer to one of the favors. The tiny bundles which constitute the favors roust contain gifts, valuable, use- ful or amusing. Each bundle is tied with baby -ribbon, with one long end left on. As many colors are used as possi- ble. These ends are then passed through the opening in the second cake, and the purchaser of a slice of the cake chooses ono and draws out his prize, Pains must be taken when the ribbons are passed out through the cake not to twist or tangle them in the least, or drawing becomes difficult or perhaps disastrous. These littlebundles, daintilytil folded in tinted tissue paper, may contain gilded walnuts, bon -bons, tiny dolls, the small open pen -knives, bundles of invisible hair -pins, thimbles, boxes of "trix," tops, open -wipers, of anything not too large as to be awkward in withdrawal. There should be one or two gifts of some value to encourage consumption of cake. THS FARM The Poultry Yard. If the old hens are not retained the keeping of pullets depends upon many circumstances, and the period when the pullets were hatched will largely deter- mine when they will lay. If a pullet is of a large breed she will not fully mature until eight or ten months old (that is, become old enough to begin to lay), anti she should be hatched in March, or not later than the first week in April, if she is to lay during the winter. Such a pul- let will be eight months old in Novem- ber, and can be of good service, but if pullets are not hatched until May there is a liability of their being unprofitable until spring. The small breeds, however, can be hatched as late as May, which gives them time to mature by November. Now this fact is one which has not re- ceived the consideration of many, and the questipn comes up for discussion whether it is more profitable to heath pullets as early as March or hatch them later, and not expect thele to lay before spring, It will not pay to have a flock of fowls and get winter prices for eggs unless the Mans lay more than the aver- age 'number of eggs usually received from a flock in winter, as the greater cost of labor, eggs, shelter, eta., as compared. with summer, reduces the profit propor- tionately, It is better to retain the lions that have moulted titan to take any chances with untried pullets, yet the large ma- jority of those who raise fowls seem to prefer pullets. An account with the flock will demonstrate that the hen gives the larger profit, as the cost of raising the pullet is an item to be met. If early pul lets are fed on nitrogenous food, and kept warm, they will probably do bet- ter than the hens for awhile, but it is seldom that all the members of a flock of pullets begin laying at rho same time,. It is not until after Christmas, when the pullets have completed their growth, that they begin work and lay regularly, and hence the matter of when to hatch pul- lets for the succeeding year is a very ins- portant one in poultry raising. Tips for the Table. The flavor of a broiled fish is rendered much richer and more delicate if the fish is laid in stlad oil au hour before it is afishflat dish and Place the on a cooked a pour three or tour tablespoonfuls of oil over earth side. Use time same device when cold turkey' or chicken is to be warmed up in cream sauce. If the sauce is flavored with celery salt and a suspicion of onion the result will be atwarm chicken salad. Onion juice is much superior to grated onion, and is used to flavor minces, hashes, Hamburg steaks and all chafing - dish concoctions. Soft-shell crabs may be broiled instead of fried, if one objects to the odor of fat which accompanies the frying process. The crab should be cleaned, dipped in olive oil and laid on a gridiron over a bed of coals and cooked till the outside is a rich brown. Vinegar added to the water in which fish is boiled will make the fish firmer and add to its flavor. It will also make tough meat more tender. Housekeepers puzzle over how to whip cream without' changing it into butter and the secret is to have the cream churn ice cold. One good cook always fills her cream churn with ice and puts it in the refrigerator before using. Love in the Household. Love is the wing, the tide, the waves, the sunshine. Its power is the it is many horse -power. It never ceases, it never slacks; it can move with the globe without a resting place; it can shelter without 'roof; it can make a paradise within, which will dispense with a paradise without. But, though the wisest men in. all ages have labored to publish this forces, and every human heart is, sooner or later, snore or less made to feel it, yet how little Is actually applied to social ends. True, it ' is the motive power of all successful social ma- chinery; but, as in physicswe have made the elements do only a little drud- gery for us, steam to take the placeof a few horses, wind of a few oars, water of a few cranks and hand mills as the me- chanical forces have not yet been, gen- erously and largely applied to make the physics! 'world answer to the ideal,, se the power of love has been but meanly and sparingly applied as. yet. -Henry D. Thoreau. • Unsightly Fences. Many farms in New England and the' provinces are suede unsightly by long rows of stone walls or fences, thatin many eases divide fields in a way to greatly increase the labor of cultivation, while at the same time harboring bushes, weeds and animals. To get rid of these old stone walls, without too much labor and expense, is. often a prob- lem. Where there are deep ravines, one can sometimes haul the rook away and 1111 those when the ground is frozen, but that Is expensive, and more often near -by ravines do not exist. Making a stone drain is one good way to utilize these cid wails, and at the same time clear the Grace and Beauty. I have known beauty of face to come to some poor saints' who, perhaps, had. gone mourning alltheir, days, but When the voyage of life was drawing to a close there was,a lighting up of their faces and a joy that transfigured. ahem into beauty But it is our privilege to be so filhu' with the joy that comes with life. with Christ that our Rices: radiate with the happiness we feel. And we need not wait till' we are leaving earth to be lighted up! If we are filled -With the Spirit of the Holy Ghost, the Comforter: we, will be worth 'tasking at now. Exactly So. "I fell down the stone steps and 'smashed my face all to pieces." "Staired out of ootintenanoe, eh?" The Duchess of Albany and her sister, Princess Elizabeth of Waldeck rode, to a fire in Leaden recently on 'a fire engine. IS AO • /,../ „7/7 // W Mar mttitl jfi; l CAS adltl�lliy i1014, ADJUSTABLE COW STALLS. An Exe.zllent. Device for Keeping Cows Clean and Comfortable. A system of now fastening that is re- garded by those who have triedit as superior to the stanchion in every way is shown in the accompanying illustration. Professor Henry, of the Wisconsin Exper imentStationrecommends it in the highest terms. It is so simple that it can be un- derstood by a little study of the illus- tration, Professor Henry writes of this stall: Sufficient time has now elapsed to per- mit of a correct opinion, I think, and I wish to eat, to you at this time that we are more than pleased with this method of fastening cows, or rather confining them, for there is no fastening about The strong points in this stall as we see it are: -- It is perfeely adjustable. -half a min- ute sufioes to fit it to any cow or even to a 10 months' calf. In this stall the cows can lick them- selves,swing their heads to one side when land for the better work of the plow, mower and other tools. Where the drain can be advantageously dug alongside the wall the expense of getting rid of the wall will be small, and the advantage gained not a little. A ditch should be dug large enough, so that a drain can be laid in the bottom with 'the most suit- able rocks in the wall, and the rest piled on top of the drain, and enough space left for free plowing. Much of the earth can be thrown out with a plow. Scatter loose hay over the stones to prevent soil working down; by the time it is rotted, the earth will have' become compact. Thoroughly plow the land where the fence was removed. • An Electric Dredger. A dredger of novel construction has been built in Rotterdam for use on the River Bela, in Spain. .Its principal fete tore is that its motive force, in the form of electrical energy of high tension, may be generated on shore by any convenient means, the current being distributed either by overhead wires or cables laid under the water. In the installation under notice the central station Is situa- ted on the river bank, and furnishes cur- rent not only to 'work the dredger, but also to operate an elevator which returns the material dredged into lighters and ballast wagons. All themotions are con- trolled by one man in the cabin. The motor for operating the bucket, chain is capableof developing forty-five horse- power when making 600 revolutions per minute. The average power required to work the dredger is equal to about fifteen horses, and as • the . motor will account for forty-five horse-powerin normal working, a good margin is left for emer- gency. Besides operating the motors for driving the screws, driving the dredge chain, raising the dredge frame and lift- ing the piles, the electric` current also works a centrifugal pump. Suspected. nu Il II lying down, stretch out their legs and he perfectly comfortable standing or ly- ing, The fastening is snob as to keep the cows even cleaner than they are when. confined in a rigid stanchion. We have not spent two hours currying our cows this winter, and yet their flanks are etc clean as any other part of the body. Each cow being entirely separate from her neighbor, there is no danger of one stepping on the udder or teats of the other. For milking it is a very convenient system. Our men report very favorably in this particular. Cows take up no snore space than when in stanchions. Let me say in one sentence that we are entirely satisfied with this method of fastening, and I believe the system will comae into general adoption by dairymen who are willing to Incur a little expense to provide onnifort for their cows and desire to keep them entirely clean. There may be seen, on any Week -day, not a hundred miles from Kensington Church, England, a poor blind beggar, invariably reading from a hook printed in the customary raised type (invented for the benefit of the sightless,) and usually accompanied by a dog,; whose duty it is to receive for his master the alms of the philanthropically inclined., One day this novel sight attracted' the attention of a local errand boy, who, stopped and gazed on with apparently profound astonishment. A ' benevolent old gentleman, who happened to be passing . at the time, ob- serving the interest displayed on the boy's countenance, stopped also and re- marked to hint: "Well, my boy! trying to learn this poor man's method of wad- ing, are you?" "No, I ain't," returned the precocious urchin. Then, after a pause, he in- quired: "What's your' game, guv'nor? Trying to sneak his dors?" Sensible Talk. "Good morning, Mr. Farmer," said the hog, sticking leis nose over the pen. "I want to talk to you for a moment while you're resting. I've heard you complain of late that farming doesn't pay like it usod'to. You work hard, but the hired man gets snore cash out of it than ,0udo You're getting old, andd your b+a r twhatit r was once. It's okisn't none of my business, but when I see a good man on the wrong track, I want to sea him right if I can. Shut up in titin pen, I have a big chance to meditate and study social and industrial condi=-.r tions. Do you know what's the matter with you? I dol You're paying too much • time and money in handling over your fodder crops. There you go and out and +' cure and handle and house and feed and fret over that big clover and hay crop— saying nothing of rye and wheat, By the time you get your returns from that hay, t, you haven't paid the cost of production, and I know it. To the point=ycu're hungry and so am I. Quit cutting all that clover. Discharge some of your hired help, and save the cash you now pay them. Knock down this pen and let me out into the clover field. I'm a hired man that won't balk. I'll turn that clover into pork, that means money that will talk a calk right on that leak in the finances. Maybe this advice is out of date this year, but don't forget it next. Sit down and visit with your wife and let me cut the clover. This advice doesn't cost you anything, but a mouthful of that swill wouldn't come amiss just now!" About Winter Hatching. Eggs are too valuable in winter to be used for hatching purposes unless one is confident of securing gond hatches and of raising the chicks. To use a dozen eggs from which only six chicks come and then lose three of them, means an expenditure of four eggs for one chick, and no one can afford the cost in that respect The heaviest loss of chicks is with hens—not with incubators and brooders—and this fact should nob be overlooked. It is admitted that in the spring and summer, when the hen has everything in her favor she will be more servimeable than the brooder, but in the winter, when cold winds, ice, snow and rains prevail, the hen has a difficult undertaking to care for herself instead of attempting to raise a brood, and as a' rule the hens are fortunate if they raise one-half of the chicks hatched. When a hen becomes broody snake her nest in a warm place, and when she brings off her brood have a place prepared for her under shelter and where the sunlight can come. Be careful that the chicks are not exposed or become chilled, andaim to raise every one of them. In that case the chicks will pay, because the expense of the eggs used will be reduced by 'rea- son of the larger number of chicks mar- keted. Pointed Toes. Pointed toes, says an English anther- Hy, ntherity, are to disappear from boots and shoes before very long. It has been die - covered that the shoe has tobe very. much, longer than it need 'be if it is made with a pointed toe, and if the wearer has to walk in it without suffer- ing Chinese tortures, And this extra length „makes the foot. look very much larger than is need be. So mulch has this influenced the size of thefashionable shoe that, it is whispered, the knowing boot - maker, has alterbcl the name and num- ber of the sizes by which they are known. Scraping the Trunk's Of Trees. Much advice is given on this subject, and the practice is often recommended by some journals. The operation may often do no harm, but as it exposes the inner bark to the cold storms of winter. its, utility is questionable. Much stress is sometimes laid on washing the trunks for producing healthy growth, but there is no doubt that cultivating and fertiliz- • ing the ground for some distance about the trees is far more valuable.