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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1896-2-27, Page 3'eeeereeertaee'eeeeeetee.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'eeeeeee eeereee-eeereee=7-Feee eeelee ""--"ee- • eezeeeteeteeteeereeeneneeeeekeeeeereeteeeeseageeteeeeeteenaae..e • • „ , _ OVER ALL FOREVER. THE TESTIMONY OF JESUS CHRIST AND HIS WITNESSES. aDr. Talmage Points Out That There Is No intelligent Explanation of the Gospel Save to Accept Them as Literal Truth -- Wild Attempts at Invasion. Washington, Feb. 16.—In his ,sermon 'to -day Rev. Dr. Talmage discoursed to a large audience, who listened with rapt attention to a powerful discourse on the supeemaey of Christ, choosing for his tame Romans, Ix. 5, "Christ carne, who is aver all." For 4,000 years the world had been waiting for a deliverer—waiting while empires rose and fell. Conquerors came and made the world worse instead of mak- ing it better; till the centuries watched and waited. They looked for him on thrones, looked for him in palaces, looked for him in imperial robes, looked for him at the head of armies. At last they found him in a barn. The cattle stood nearer to him than the angels, for the • -former were in the adjoining stall while the latter were in the clouds. A parent- age of peasantry. No room h for lin in the inn, because them was no ono to pay the hotel expense. Yet the pointing star and the angelic, oantata showed that heaven made up in appreciation of his -worth what the worlu lacked. "Christ came who Is over all, God blessed forever. Amen." But who is this Christ who came? As to the difference bewteen different de- nominations of evangelioal Christians I have no concern. If I could, by the turn - Ing over of my hand, decide whether all the world shall at last be Baptist or Methodist or Congregational or Episco- vallan or Presbyterian, I would not turn my hand. But there are dootrines.whioh are vital to the soul. If Christ be not a God, we are idolaters. To this Citrate - logical, question I devote myself this morning and pray God that we may think aright and do aright in regard to a ques- tion in which mistake is infinite. I suppose that the majority of those here to.day assembled believe the bible. It requires as much faith to be an infidel as to be a Christian. It is faith in a differ- ent direction. The Christian has faith in the teachings of Matthew, Luke, John, Pani, Isaiah, Moses. The infidel has faith In the free thinkers. We have faith in one eines of men. They have faith in another alass of men. But as the majority of ,those—perhaps all of those here assem bled —are willing to take the bible for a standard in morals and in faith I make athis book my starting point. I suppose you are aware that the two generals who hava marshaled the great against the deity of Jesus Christ are Strauss and Henan. The number of their slain will not be counted until the trumpet of the archangel sounds the roll rail of the resurrection. Those men and *heir sympathizers saw that if they could destroy the fortress of the miracles they oould destroy Christianity, and they were right. Surrender the miracles and you :surrender Christianity. The great German exegete says that all the iniraoles were myths. The great French exegete says that all the miracles, were legends. They propose to take everything supernatural from the life of Christ and everything supernatural from the bible, 'They prefer the miracles of human non- sense to the glorious miracles of Jesus Christ. They say there was no miraculous birth In Bethlehem'but that it is all a fanciful story, just like the story of Romulus said to have been born of Rhea Silvia and the god Mars, They say no star pointed to the manger.'it was only the flash of a passing lantern. They say there was no miraculous making of bread, but that it is the corruption of the story that Elisha gave twenty loaves of bread to a hundred imen. They say the water never turned inter wine, but that it is a corruption of the story that the Egyptian plague turned the water into blood. They say it is no wonder that Christ sweat great drops of blood; he had been out in the night air and was taken suddenly ill. They say there were no tongues of fire on the heads of the disciples at the Pentecost; that there was only a great thunder storm,and the air was full of eleotrioity which snapped and flew all around about the heads of the disciples. They say that Mary and Martha and Christ felt it important to get up au ex- citement for the forwarding of their xeligion, and so they dramatized a funer- .al, and Lazarus played the corpse, and _Mary and Martha played the weepers, and Christ was the tragedian. I put it in my own words, but this is the exact meaning of their statements. They say the bible is a spurious book, written by superstitions or lyeng men, backed up by men who died for that which they did not believe. Now. Itake back the limited statement whieli I made a few moments ago, when I said it requires as much faith to be an Infidel as to be a Christian. It requires a thousandfold more faith to bean infidel than to be a Christian; for if Christianity demand that the whale swallowed .Jonah, then skepticism demands that Jonah swallowed the whale! I can prove to you that Christ was God not oily by • the supernatural appearances on that Christmas night, but by what inspired men said of him, by what he says of him- eielf and by his wonderful achievements. "Chriet . carne, who is over all." Ah, does not that prove too much? Not over the Caesars, not over Frederick, not over .Alexander the Great,not over the Henrys, le not over the Louis? Yes. Pile all the tare' throiaes of all the ages together, and my text overspans them as easily as a rain- bow overspans a mountain top, "Christ .0a1100 who is over tee" Then he must be God. The bible says that all things were made by him. Does not that prove too much. Could It be that he made the Mediterranean, that he made the Black sea, that he made the Atlantic, the Paci- fic. that he made Mount Lebanon, that he made the Alps, the Sierra Neeadas, that he made the henaisphores, that he made the Universe? Yes. The bible says so, and lest we ,be too stupid to under- stand John winds up with a magnificent reiteration and says, "Without him was mot anything made that was triado." 'Then he was a God. The bible says at the mime of Jesus .every knee shall bow. All heaven must tome down on its knees. Martyrs on their knees, apostles on their knees, confessors on their knees, the archangel on his kneee. Before whom—a mita? No, He ' is a God! The bible says every tongue ball oonfess--Borneeian, Malayan, Mex- ican, Italian, Spanish, Persian, English. Every tongue shall oonfess. To whom? God. The bible says Christ the.same yos• terclay, to -day and forever. Is that eharacteristio of hamaility? Do we not ,ohange? Does not the body entirely mind change? Christ the same yesterdaY, today and forever. He must be a God. Philosophers say that the law of grav- itation decides everything, and that the oenteipetal and centrifugal foroes keep th world from ()lashing and from dermal'. tion. But Pani says that Christ's arin is the axle on which everything turns, and that Christ's band is the socket in which everything is set. Mark the words, "Upholding—upholdiiag all things by the word of his power." Then he must be a God. Then look at what Christ says of him- self. Now; certainly every ono must understand himself better than any one else oan understandb you where you were born, and you tell ine, "I was born in Chester, England," or "I was been in Glasgow, Scothuid," or "I was born in Dublin, Ireland." or "I was • the guests. She oalls in Christ to help, and. Christ, not by the slow decay of fermentation, but by a word, makes 130 gallone of pure wine, • Marine achievements! He theme a whole school of fish into the net of men who were mourning over their poor luck until the beet is AO full they have to hal- loo to other boats and the other boats come up, and they are laden to the water's edge with the game, so that the sailors have to be cautious in going from larboard to starboard lest they upset the ship. Then there comes a squall down through the mountain gorge, and Gen- nesaret, with long looks of white foam, rises up to battle it, and the boat drops into a trough and ships a sea, and the loosened sails crack la the tornado, and Christ rises from the back part of the boat and COMAS walking across the stea- d goring ship until be comes to the prow, • and there he wipes the spray from his Y brow and hushes the crying storm on the s knee of his opanlpotence. Who wrestled t down that euroclydon? Whose feet 11 trampled the rough Galilee into a smooth I floor? e Let philosophers and anatomists go to " Westminster Abbey and try to wake up Queen Elizabeth or Henry VIII. No t human power ever awkened the dead. There is a dead girl in Capernaum. What 13 does Christ do? Alas, that she should n have died so young and when the world a was so fairl Only 12 years of age. Feel her cold brow and icold hands. Dead, n e States, you being a man of integrity, I shoe. believe you. If I asked you how man pounds you could lift and you should sa you oould lift 100 pounds or 200 pound ar 300 pounds; I should believe you. I Is a matter personal to yourself. Yo know batter than anyone else can tel you. If I ask how much estate you are wort and you say 810,000 or $100,00t1 or $500, 000, 1 believe what you say. You kno better than any one else. Now, Chris Must know better than any one else wh ho is and what he is. When 1 ask hit bow old he is, he says, " Before .Abraham was, I am." .Abraham had been dea 2,028 years, Was Christ 2,028 years old Yes, he says he is older than that. "Be fore Abraham was, I am." Then Chris says, "I am the Alpha," Alpha is th first letter of the Grook alphabet, an Christ in that utterance deolared, "1 am the A of the alphabet of the centuries.' Then he must be a God, Can a MSS bo in a thousand places a once? Christ says he is in a thousan places at once. "Where two or three ar gathered together in my name, there an I in the midst of thein." This every whereativeness, is it characteristic of man or of a Gorlf And lest we might thin this everywhereativeness would oeas he goes on and he intimates that he wil be in Europe, Asia, Africa, North and South America the day before the world burns up. "Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." Why, then, be must be a God. I3esides that he takes divine honors. He declares himself Lord of men'angels and devils. Is he? If he is, he is aGod. If be is not, he Is an imposter. A man cornea in to your store to -morrow morn- ing, He says: "I am the groat shipbuilder of Liverpool. I have built hundreds of ships." He goes on to give his expert - once. You defer to him as a man of large experience and groat possessions. But the"next day you find out that he is not the groat shipbuilder of Liverpool; that he never built a ship; that be never built anything. What is he then? An im- postor. Christ says be built this world; he built all things. Did he build them? If be did, he is a God. If ho did not, he is an impostor. A man comes into your place of busi- ness, with a Jewish countenance and a German accent, and says: "I am Roths- child, the banker of London. I have the wealth of nations in my pocket. I loaned thatlarge amount to Italy and Austria in their perplexity." But after awhile you find that he has never loaned any money to Italy or Austria; that be never had a large estate; that he is no banker at all that he owns nothing. What is he? An impostor. Christ says he owns the cattle on a thousand hills; he owns this world; he owns the next world; he owns the uni- verse•, he is the banker of all nations. Is he? If he is, ho is a God. Is he not? Then he is an impostor. A man enters the White House at Wash- ington. He says: "I am Emperor Wil- liam of Germany. I am traveling in- coanito. I have come over here for re- creation and pleasure. I own castles in Dresden and Berlin." But the President finds out next day that he is not Emperor William; that he owns no castles at Ber- lin or Dresden; tbat he has no authority. What is he? An impostor. Christ says he is the king over all, the king immort- al, invisible. If he is, he is a God. If be is not, he is an impostor. Strauss saw. that alternative, and, he tries to get out of it by saying that Christ was sinful in accepting adoration and worship. Renan tries to get out of it by - saying that Christ—not through any fault of his own, but through the fault of others—lost his purity of conscience, and he slyly intimates that dishonorable women had damaged his soul. Anything but believe that Christ is God. Now, you believe the bible to be true. If you do not, you would hardly have appeared in this church. You would have gone over and oined the famous Infidel Club, or you would go to Boston and kiss the fobt of he statue of Thomas; Pain. You would hardly coins into this church, where the most of us are the deluded souls who be- ieve in a whole bib e and take it all down as easily as you swallow a ripe straw- berry. I have shown you what inspired men aid of Christ. I have shown you what Christ said of himself. Now, if you be- ieve the bible, lot us go out and see his vvonderful achievements—surgical, ali- nentary, marine, mortuary. Surgical chlevements1 Where is the medical ournal that gives any account of such xploits as Christ wrought; He used no knife. He carried no splints. He em- loyed no compress. He made no patient quirm under cauterization. He tied no rtery. Yet behold him! With a word e stuck fast Malchus' amputated ear. r nfe stirred a little dust and spittle into a alve and with it caused a man who was orn blind and without optic nerve or ornea or crystalline lens to open his eyes n the sunlight. He beat musio on the rum of the deaf ear. He -straightened a woman who through contraction of ausole bad been bent almost doubleIcir ell nigh two decades. He made a man ho Fetd no use of his limbs for 88 years boulder his mattress and walk off. Sir Astley Cooper,Abernethy,Valentine Mott stood powerless before a withered rm ; but this doctor of omnipotent sur- ery comes In and he sees the paralytio arm selees and lifeless at the man's side, and leriat says to hina, "Stretch forth thine and," and he stretched it forth whole as he oblier. He was a God. Alimentary achievements! He found lad who had come out of the wilderness' ith five loaves of bread for a speculation. erhaps the lad had paid Jive pennies for he five loaves andexpected to sell them or ten pennies, and so he would double is money. Christ took these loaves of read arid perforined a miracle by which o fed 7,000 famishing people, and I arrant you the Ind lost nothing, for len were twelve baskets of fragments aken up, and if the boy had five loaves t the sten I warrant you he bad at least en at the close. • The Saviour's enother goes into a eighbor's house to help get up a wedding erty, By calculation she finds out that le amount of wine is not. sufficient for I dead! The house is full of weeping. Christ comes, and he takes bold of the hand of the dead girl, and instantly her e d eyes open, her heart starts. The white lily of death blushes into the rose of life , and health. She rushes into the arms of her rejoicing kindred. Who woke up that death? Who restored her to life? A man? d Tell that to the lunatics in any of your G asylums. It was Christ the od. But there ooines a test which more than anything else will sbow Whether he a was God or man. You remember. that k great passage which says, "We must all a appear before the judgment seat of Christ." The earth will be stunned by a blow that will make it stagger In mid - heaven, the scars will circle like dry leaves in an equinox, the earth will unroll the bodies,and the sky will unroll the spirits, and soul and flesh will come into incor- ruptible conjunction. Day of smoke and fire and darkness and triumph. On one side, piled up in galleries of light, the one hundred and forty four thousand—yea, the quintillions—of the saved. On the other side, piled up in galleries of dark- ness, the frowning, the glaring multitude of those who rejected God. Between these two piled up galleries a throne, a high throne standing on two burnished pillars—justice, mercy—a throne so bright you had better hide your eye lest it bo extinguished with excess of vision. But it is an empty throne. Who will tomo up and take it? Will you? "Ah, no! '700 say, "I am but a child of dust, I would not dare to ulimb that throne." Would Gabriel climb it? He dare not Who will ascend it? Here comes one. leis back Is to us. He goes up step above step, height above height, Until he reaches the apex. Then bo turns around and faces all nations, and we all see who it is. It is Christ the God, and all earth, and all heaven, and all hell kneel crying: "It is a God! It is a God!" We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ. Oh, I am so glad that it is a divine being who comes to pardon all our sins, to comfort all our sorrows. Sometimes our griefs are so great they are beyond any human sympathy, and we want Al- mighty sympathy. Oh, ye who cried all last night because of bereavement or loneliness, I want to tell you it is an omnipotent Christ who is come. When the children are in the house and the mother is dead, the father has to be more gentle in the home, and he has to take the office of father and mother, and it seems to me Christ looks out upon your helplessness, and he proposes to be father and another to your soul. He comes itt the strength of the ene, in the tenderness of the other. He says with one breath, "As a father pltieth his ()Widen, to the Lord pitieth thein that fear him," and then with the next breath be says, ".As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you." Do you not feel the hush of the divine lullaby? Oh, put your tired head down on the heaving bosom of divine compassion while he puts his arms around you and says: "0 widowed soul, I will be thy God. 0 orphaned soul, I will be thy protector. Do not ory." Then he touches your eyelids with his fingers and sweeps his fingers down your cheeks and wipes away all the tears of loneliness and he- reavernent. Oh, wbat a tender -and sym- pathetic God bas come for us! I do not ask you to lay hold of him. Perhaps you are not strong enough for that. ,I do not ask you to pray. Perhaps yon are too bewildered for that. I only ask you to lot go and fall back into the arms of ever- lasting love. Soon you and I will hear the ,click of the latch door of the sepulcher.' Strong men will take us in their arms and carry us down and lay us in the dust, and they cannot bring us back Esau). I should be scared with infinite fright if I thought I must stay in the grave. But Christ will come with glorious iconoclasm and split and grind up the rocks and let us all come forth. The Christ ,of the manger is the Christ of the throne. 1 a p a h b 0 d w a g u h a w P 11 b b w a 0 echange in seven years? Does not the 41 • A New Swindle. An elderly, emaciated -looking man tottered out of a doorway at Sixth avenue and Forty-second street just as a well- dressed and prosperous-lookiag man was ahout to pass. The thin man, when in front of the younger, stooped down and picked up a crust of bread from the side- walk. He began apparently to eat the crust, while the well-dressed naarastopped to watch him. The older man said to him: "This is the first morsel of food that I have eaten in tvvo days." "Well, that's pretty tough," said the man addressed, as he put his hand in his pocket. "I wouldn't give that fellow any money if I were you," said a third man, who had stepped out of a near -by store. "Well, he looks hungry, and certainly inust be, or he would not have eaten that crust of bread." "That's an old game of his, and that'e the way he makes a living," said the other man, who was Agent Jerome, of the Charity Organization Society, Be placed the beggar under arrest and took him to Jefferson Market Court. When ho was searehed several crusts of dry bread were found in his pockets. The fake beggar dreps a caust on the sidewalk as a Well-dressed man or woman approaches, and picks it .trp and begins to eat it. In this way he excites the sympathy of the passer-by, who, thinking hungry, gives 'hinn money with Which to buy fOod.--Nevv York Sun. les HIGH HEELS IN FASHION. Low-Beeled Shoos Condemned—Five and a Ralf Inches is the Proper Elevation, High -heeled shoes have returned, to favor with women. This fact is of the mos momentous significance. It is an- nounced on the highest authority. It is no fashion of the cheap shoe stores. Women of the meet fashionable society have provided themselves with high - heeled shoes, The very finest kinds of footwear will be made in this way. No announcement concerning new fashions is, in fact, uf so much import- ance as this, It means.a startling change in, the • 1 pp the fair wearers of shoes, a change that will be inexplicable to those unfamiliar with the mysteries of fashions in women's dress., The change will be all the more Start ling because the soealleci "conanaon 6KRTIriC, 1:600T 1,,,Aa.ii15111J PRO MEw F.11..%..tAtSS Sat. sense" and various other kinds of low- heeled, broad -soled shoes have been worn to a considerable extent by those who considered themselves fashionable, That common sense as ordinarily understood had anything to do with the wearing of these shoes will not be generally believed. They were probably adopted because they were fashionable and because they were different from those worn by women who were not quite up to date. Now their wearers will suddenly spring up on shoes with higher beels than have been seen in this century. To begin with, let us observe one of the pairs of shoes exhibited in the accompany- ing illustrations of the Sunday World. Take the high -heeled brocaded shoe, which is no less a triumph of the shoe- maker's than of the upholsterer's art.This was recently made for a member of the Four Hundred from materials imported from London. The quality of the materi- als produced in Europe are superior and the fashions of London and Paris are fol- lowed, but Americans are best able to fit the shoes to American feet. The buckle on this shoo may be actual- ly antique or a copy of ono worn on a man's shoe a hundred years ago. The height of the heel of this shoe is five and a half inches. It seems almost hapossible to wear such a construction, and the feet is, in fact, one of no small pain, labour and difficulty, But those who accomplish it no doubt find all the trouble worth while, for the shoe lends them a great distinction, The superficial reason for wearing the iihoe 19, of course, that it is fashionable. That alone would be sufficient, but the fashion itself reposes on certain import- ant facts. The high -heeled shoe serves two great purposes. It makes the wearer look very much taller and it makes her feet look very much smaller. Here, Indeed, are ends worthy of much suffering to attain. We know that tali women are generally admired, and that the type is particularly in favor just now. A wom in deri \ es a great deal of satisfaction from looking down calmly and majestically on other women and oven on men. We can imagine the ease between low- heeled and high -heeled shoes being stated somewhat In this way:— "That's a nice, sensible, wholesome girl. She wears low-heeled broad -soled shoes and doesn't mind letting everybody know that she has good-sized feet." "What a stunning looking girl that is. Why, she is taller than half the men I know, and she has the smallest feet lever saw. !" Which remark would a woman rather be the subject of? It will require no great investigation to ascertain that she would rather have email feet than "good-sized" ones attributed to her, Remark the enormous difference in height that Is involved. Men's shoes and low-heeled aloes for women are usually not more than an inch high at the heels. On the hand the new fashionable shoes for women are five and a half inches high at the /eels. Thus a woman who only stands five feet five inches in her stockings may become five feet '1.0eee inches in her shoes, or the same height as n decidedly tall man. With the peculiar- ities of her dress and her hair she will look much tailor than a man of that height, She will tower above the vast majority of humanity, who will either be or ordinary heighb or not own a pair of the latest kind of shoes. Then it is really impossible for one not a shoeina,ker to tell how large a woman's foot is by looking at it when incased in a shoe. 11 is a simple mathematical problem to demonstrate that the higher the heel of the foot is raised the shorter becomes the line from the point of the shoe to the bottom of the heel of the shoe. But under ordinary circumstances we are not permitted to see more than the front part of the shoe, so that we aro not able even to make an attempt at arriving at ,the truth by means of a mathematical calculation. A buckle placed well for- ward on the shoe also aids in greeting an impression of the shortness of the foot. Thus a lady may appear to be 5 feet 10Ye inches high and to have a foot three inches long. Such are the wonders of • Origin of the Thimble. A thimble was originally a thumb -bell, because it was worn on the thumb, as sailors still wear their thimbles. It is a Dutch invention, and in 1884, in .A.mster- dam,the bacentennial of the thimble was celebraeed with a great deal of formality. The first thimble made was presented in 1684 to Anna van Wedy, the second wife of TKillien van Rensselaer, the purchaser of Rensselaervvyck. In presenting his use. ful gift, Van 13enscoten begged IN/me. Rensselaer "to° accept this new covbring for the protertion of her diligent fingers as a token of his esteem." Butterfly Rosettes. Butterfly reset.es apo eminently rnodieh. They conaist oe a Se' jos of little flyaway ,knobs, caught tog4ther and sewed near the waist line, to give ,Uller A SEMICOLON ,BEF,RE A SUPREME A Legal Treatise on Punctuation or a Changed. Method Necessary. It appears that, if the matter had been correctly reported, the force of a law before the Sapreme Court for con- struction depends upon a semicolon. That mark of punctuation may change the whole tenor of an important Act in the Legislature. It is not the first time that the semicolon has made trouble in laws. semicolon in two or three sec- tions of tariff laws has led to decisions hostile to the revenue and to home in- dustries. It was some trouble of that nature in the Morrill Tariff Act which gave the tin-plate industry to Great Britain. It was a semicolon which caused thousands to be refunded to the importers of women's hat trimmings, though the intent of those who passed the law was perfectly clear. In these instances, and probably in the law of Indiana over whose semi- colon the Supreme Court is said to be cogitating, the trouble seems to arise from an inability to fix the function of the semicolon. In the rules of punctua- tion in the old Webster's spelling book the comma indicates "a pause long enough to count one," and the semi- colon "a pause long enough to count two," the colon " three," and the period " four," with a fall 'of the voice. If those who have been writing rules for punctuating compositions had stopped there, we would not have had all the trouble, but these teachers have been going on making. now rules for years, until no one can und.ertake to follow them, but each punctuates according to his pleasure rather than his familiarity with rules. Many writers have adopted the plan of punctuating as little as pos- sible leavino. the read 4r. th th • f he Wrong 'W�rd.. There is in the Pity a certain Young' attache to one of the legations who has communicated to the world his resolve to eschew its pleasures for the present, This determination is by no means due to the fact of a cold shoulder being turned toward him by the fashionables, but on account of the numerous cen- versational slips that he is conscious of making. Telling of a certain occasion Nhere lie "vat itt ze foot" more thaut usual, he says : talk to ze laacea and smile and be agreeable, and, all at once zey grow quiet and look at me so var' queer. I exclaim, 'What haf done ?' and ze ladees zey make answer: 'It is not what you liaf done, monsieur, but. whatyou haf so," zen 1 fe&. so decayed, oh, so decayed." His confidant here reminded hint that he had made another faux pas and proceeded to explain to him the differ- ent applications of the synonyms, de- cayed and mortified, and the, despair- ing foreigner replied : "Haf I not told you 1 spik bad all ze time ?"—Wash- ington Star. Tempted by the Stamps. I once talked with a man who had served. a term in prison for embezzle- ment. He said that the first step in his downfall was the stamp drawer. The clerks in that store, as in many, helped. themselves to stamps from this drawer for their private letters, using the firm's stationery also. What more natural than that they should take a few more stamps if they were ordering some trifle by mall? Having made this start, and seeing no trouble therefrom, how easy it was to take a larger amount when a more expensive article was wanted. The step from the dollar's worth of stamps te the dollar itself was not a. meaning from their clearly construCted very long one, and then to larger sentences, rather than from the inter- amounts, followed at length by discov- jection of commas and semicolons. Un- ery and prison ! This was the man's fortunately, the verbosity and intricacy story, and it set me to thinking..,— of the language and construction, or lack of construction. in which statutes are written, render punctuation neces- sary. This being the case, it seems that so much trouble comes from the indiscriminate use of punctuation marks that there should be a legal treatise on the subject defining the force of the different marks as they are scattered through the statutes. If this cannot be done, why should not those who must construe the law's consider them with a view to ascer- taining what was the design of the legislative bodies which enacted them? Why not have judges take the laws without a Dunctuation mark, except periods, and punctuate them in a man- ner which will enable them to be con- strued so as to carry out the intent of the legislators who enacted. them ?—a fact which could be =ascertained by inquiry if it was not declared in the titles of the Acts themselves. Why make an indefinite semicolon, which an engrossing or enrolling clerk might have substituted for a comma or some other punctuation mark, so important as to annul or change the meaning of a law ?—Indianapolis journal. A New Boiler Compound. Some very satisfactory experiments have been tried with a new boiler com- pound. This substance, in the form of a powder, is placed in a cup attached to the top of the boiler. The steam enter- ing the cup condenses, and the mois- ture is quickly absorbecl by the powder, which then gradually dissolves and passes into the :boiler. The basis of the ' compound. is',enatallic mercury, which, being set free in a finely divided state, impinges upon the=surface of the tubes and plate, where it Works its way under the scale. By the combined action of heat and. pressure it mechanically breaks away the scale and. forms on the clear iron or steel an oxide, which forms a very thin coating similar to enamel. It is claimed that this enamel coating in a short time so fortifies the surface of the tubes and shell that cor- rosion and scale become impossible. Hardware. Love's Labors Lost. "Just turn me loose among a lot of girls," remarked a Berkeley Freshman with the pretty chrysanthemum bang. "There's where I shine," and he dusted a. little lint from his vest, gave his downy mustache a downward curve and took an- other glance at the mirror. "Pin right at home among the ladies, and if you've, got any pretty girls in this town trot them out." • "That reminds me," remarked a Senior, "theta whole 'bus load of pretty girls are going out for a drive over the mountaia roads this afternoon," "Just hook me for that engagement," said the Freshman. "A whole load is just what I like." "Well, I think I can arrange it for yon." "Thanks, old man, awfully. I'll get ac- quainted with the whole gang before I get back." That afternoon he climbed into the 'bus, sat beside the prettiest girl and com- menced firing bon -mots right and left. They were met by vacant stares and as occasional smile, but not a word could be got out of them. "Queer girls," he thought, and he ap- plied himself assiduously to the labor of making an impression. He chatted, laughed at his own jokes, pointed out bite of scenery and asked questions, but no re- sponse could he get. The girls said not a word, even to each other. "Those fellows have put the girls on," he thought. He made several more ineffectual at- tempts to draw them into conversation. Finally the driver turned around, gave him an amused smile and remarked: "You've made a mistake, young feller. Those girls are from the Deaf and Dumb Institute. They ain't heard a word you. said." ' It was 9:30 o'clock when the young man walked into Berkeley.—L. G. Carpenter in San Francisco Post, In the Lion's Cage. Menagerie lions are treated to strange and sometimes attractive spectacles now- adays. In Paris the serpentine dance has been frequently performed in the cages of the supposed monarchs of the desert, ex- hibited at fairs. .A.t Tallins, in the Isere, two barbers and a shoemaker entered a cage of, lions recently, accompanied by the tamer, in order to win a wager. Ono athe barbers sat down in a chair, was His Way Out. lathered by his colleague and shaved by the shoemaker, who wielded the razor with the most consummate coolness and skill. The trio were enthusiasticallyea claimed as they emerged from the cage and won the wager. The zeal of certain commentators, who "hold their farthing candle to the sun" with so much learning that they overlook plain statements of their text, is well satirized by a story of a certain actor, who brought out "Hamlet," with many erudite variations from the usual customs. For one thing he dressed Hamlet in a red cloak. "Why do you do that ?" he was asked, "Because red was the mourning color of the royal house of Denmark." "But how do you get over this pas- sage in which Hamlet says : 'Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother?'" The Shakespearean was equal to the emergency. "Don't you suppose they had red ink in Shakespeare's day ?"—Youth's Com- panion. Assured income. Little Tim had been taken out into the country by a good-natured woman for a week at Christmas. He was a pretty ragged and disreputable -looking specimen of the genus gamin when she took him, but seemed. to think he had about everything that was necessary to his material well-being. His would-be benefactor had a little girl who sym- pathized with the poor urchin. She told him she was sorry his papa was §o poor he could'nt afford to give him a Santa Claus for Christmas. Papa was going to give her one. His independent spirit instantly re- belled. at being patronized by a girl. "Dad ain't poor," he said, "why de ol woman does a washin' every day." Anxions to Assist. The professor believes in simplicity and clearness. He said : "You should have written on this subject, sir, so that the most ignorant of your reactors could not fail to under- stand you: And the sophomore re- plied: "What part of my paper is not clear affect to very slender fingers. to you, sir?" Two Things Necessary. The teacher—What are the two things necessary to baptism ? Small girl—Please, sir, water and a baby.—Life. Men Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried for Castorla, When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria„ When she had Children, she gave theruCastoria. A 11; , «,4 KENDALLS PAYIN CURE THE MOST SlICCESSFUL REMEDY FOR MAN OR BEAST. Certain In its elfeetsand never blisters. Bead proofS below: KENDALL'S SPAVIN CUM Box 1" (Jar= Dr. B. 3.'IERNDArznao HendersonClo"111" Feb. . Dear Sirs—Please send me one of your Horse Books and oblige. I have used a great deal of your Kendall's Spavn-l'eure withgood :meccas :It 18 a wonderful medicine, ' / oneehad a mare that had, 1 KENDALL'S SPAVINDURE. Dr. 0. I .3IitemAri, Co. an Ocean Bevin and iicvAelirbool:tii‘ets:Aric,i.d.,.0/1,er,0.2.:1i keeps bottle on hand 111 the tithe. Tclirs trail', , ' CHAS. PoWim. Dear Sirs—I have used several bIttles ,Of your ". Hen:lairs Suavin Cure", with Innen sueeess. I thiultit the bee; Liniment I over used, 'Huse re.... moved one 0111101 ORO Blood SenvIn sard kdied 1 ' t:Rpm es> ! LEInevOns. Hm ave recoMen ed 1212 several cf my friends rfrsholia..Tum: ephiyaole.aBsoo:3Nlvsith andlreep it. Respeotfulry, F or Sale brallPiuggiSts: Or address 'y ' . 1 Br. B. .T. X3E/Ye/eat-tee LIC10141.PAIMJ ENOSSnGS VALLI-A, VT. '