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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1895-5-24, Page 3A GUILTY CONSCIENCE,. Sermon by Bev. T. DeWitt Talmage. Rarely does any discourse hold axi audi- 'enee with snob, intoi.be interest as did that which Rev. Dr. Talmage delivered in the Academy of Music last St7nday afternoon. He chose for his subject, "conscience," the text selected being' Matt. 27:24, "He took water and washed his hands before. the multidude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it" At about seven o'clock in the morning, up the marble steps of a palace and across thu litters of richest mosaic, and under 'ceilings r•s d y ell with all the splendors of color, and between snowbanks of white and glistonleg sculpture, passes a poor, pale, sink young man of thirty-three, al- ready .condemned to death, on his way to be oondenined again. ' Nazareth ga Jesus of is his•name. Coning out to meet him on this tessel- • lated pavement is an unscrupulous, com- promising, time -serving, cowardly man, with to few traces of sympathy and fair - dealing left in his composition -Governor Pontius Pilate. Did ever such opposites meet? Luxury and pain, selfishness and generosity, arrogance and humility, sin and holiness, midnight and niidnoon. The bloated -lipped governor takes the 'cushioned seat, but the prisoner stands, his wrists are manacled. In a semi -circle around the prisoner are the Sanhedrists, with flashing eyes and brandished fists, prosecuting this case in the name of reli- gion, for the bitterest persecutions have been religious persecutions; and when Satan takes hold of a good man he makes up by intensity for brevity of occupation. If you have never seen an ocolesiastioal court trying a man, then you have no idea 'of the foaming infernalism of those old re- ligious Sanhedrists. Governor Pilate cross - 'questions the prisoner, and finds right away he is innocent, and wants to let him go. His caution is also increased by some one who comes to•the Governor and whis- pers in his ear. The Governor puts his hand behind his ear, so as to catch the words almost inaudible. It is a message from Claudin Procula, his wife, who has had a dream about the isnocenoe of his prisoner and about the danger of executing him, and she awakens from this morning dream in time to send the message to her husband, then on the judicial bench. And with what the protest of his wife, and the w voiee of his own conscience, and the entire failure ,of the Sanhedrists to make out their ease, Governor Pilate resolves to dis- charge the prisoner from custody. But the intimation of such a thing brings upon the Governor an equinoctial ,storm of indignation. They will report him to the Emperor at Rome. They will have him recalled. They will send him up honeand he will be hung for treason, Emperor the of Rome has already a 'suspicion in regard to Pilate, and that suspicion does not cease until Pilate is banished and commits suicide. So Gov- ernor Pontius Pilate compromises the matter, and proposes that Christ be whip- ped instead of assassinated. So the pris- oner is fastened to a low pillar , and on his bent and bared back come the thongs of leather, with pieces of lead intertwisted, so that every stroke shall be more awful. 'Christ lifts himself from the scourging, with flushed cheeks and torn and quiver- 'ing and mangled flesh, presenting a spec- tacle of suffering in which Rubens, the painter, found the theme for his greatest nlasterpiece. 'But the Sanhedrists are not yet satisfied. They have had some of his nerves laoerat- (Id; they want them all lacerated. They have had some of his blood; they want all of it, down to the last corpuscle. So Gov- ernor Pontius Pilate, after all his merciful hesitation, surrenders to the demoniacal cry of "Crucify him !" But the Governor • sends for something. He sends a slave out to get something. Although the consta- bles are in haste to take the prisoner to execution and the mob outside are impa- tient to lare upontheirvictim, a pause is ge necessitated Yonder it comes a wash basin Some pure, bright water is poured into it, and then Governor Pilate puts his white, delicate hands into the water and rubs them together, and then lifts them dripping, for the towel fastened at the slave's girdle, while he practically says:- "I wash my hands of this whole homicidal transaction. I wash my hands of this en- tire responsibility; you will have to bear it." That is the meaning of my text when it says, "He took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocoent of the blood of this just person, see ye to it." Behold, in this, that ceremony amounts to nothing, if there are not in itcorrespon- denoies of heart and life. ' It is a good thing to wash the hands. God created three quarters of the world water, and in that commanded cleanliness; and when the ancients did not take the bint he plunged the whole world under water and kept it there forsome time. Hand wash- ing was a religious ceremony among the Jews. The Jewish Mishna gave particular direction how that the hands must be thrust three times up to the wrists in water, and the palm of the hand must be rubbed with the closed fist of the other. All that well enough for a symbol, but here in the text is a span who' proposes to wash away the guilt of sin which he does not quit and of which he does not make any repentance. Pilate's wash basin was a dead failure. Ceremonies, however, beautiful and ap- propriate, may be no more than this hypo- critical ablution. In infancy we may be sprinkled from the baptismal font, and in manhood we may wade into deep immer- sions, and yet never come to moral purfl- cation. Wo may kneel without prayer, and bow without reverence, and sing with- out any acceptance. All your creeds, and liturgies, and sacraments, and genuflec- tions, and religious convocations amount to nothing unless your heart life go into them. When that bronzed slave took from the presence of Pilate that wash basin he ,carried away none of Pilate's cruelty, or Pilate's wickdness, or Pilate's guilt. Nothing against creeds; we all havee !hens, either written or implied. Nothing Against ceremonies; they aro of infinite importance. Nothing against sacraments; they are divinely commanded. Nothing ,against a rosary, if there be as many heart - felLprayers as beads counted. Nothing Against incense floating up from congerer amid Gothic arches, if the prayers bo as genuine as the aroma is sweet. Nothing against Epiphany, or Lent, or Ash Wed- nesday, or Easter, or Good Friday, or Whitsuntide, or Palin Sunday, if those symbols have behind them genuine re- pentance, and holy reminiscence, and Christian. consecration. But ceremony is only the sheath to the sword, it is only the shell to the kernel, it is only the lamp to 'the flame, it is only the body to the spirit. Tho outward must be symbolical Of the inward, Wash the hands 'by all means, het, amore than all, wash the heart, t;t+I,old, also as you see Governor Pontius .Pilate thrust his hand into this wash basin, the powor of conscience. He had an idea there was blood on his hand -the blood of an innocent person, whoa he might have aequittoll if he only had the courage. Poor Pilate 1 his conscience was after him, and ho know the stain would never be washed from the eight hand or the left hand, and until the day of his (loath, thguggh he might wash in all the lavers of the Ronan Empire there would be still eight fingers and two thumbs red at the tips. 011, the powor of oonsoienee when it is fully aroused! With whip of scorpions over a bed of spikes in pitch of midnight it phases guilt, Aro there ghosts? Yes, not of the grave yard, but of one's mind not at rest. And thus, Brutus, amidhis slumbering • hosts, Startled with Caesar's stalwart ghost. Macbeth looked at his hand after the midnight assassination, and he says: Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood Clean from my hand? so; this my hand will rather The multitudinous spas inoardine, Making the green one red. For every sin, great or small, conscience, which ish t e voice of God, has a reproof, more or less emphatic. Charles IX., re- sponsible for St. Bartholomew massacre, was chased by the bitter memories, and in his dying moment said to his doctor, Ambrose Parry: -"Doctor, I don't know what's the matter with me; I am,in a fever of body and mind, and have boon for . a long while. Oh, if I had only spared the innocent,and the imbecile and the crip- ple!" Rousseau declared in old age that a sin ho committed in his youth still gave him sleepless nights. Charles II., of Spain, could not sleep unless he had in the room a confessor and two friars. Catalino had such bitter memories he was startled at the least sound. Cardinal Beaufort, hav- ing slain the Duke of Gloucester, often in the night would say, "Away! away 1 why do you look at me?" Richard IIh, having slain his two nephews, would sometimes in the night shout from his couch and clutch his sword, fighting apparitions. Dr. Webster, haivng slain Parkman in Boston, and while waiting for his doom, complained to the jailer that the prisoners on the other side of the wall all night kept charging him with his prime, when there were no prisoners on the other side of the esall wash i i own con- Ittevo00ofhs science. From what did Adam and Eve try to hide when they had all the world to them- selves? From their own conscience. What made Cain's punishment greater than he could bear His conscience. What made Ahab cry out to the prophet, "Hest thou found me, 0, mine enemy?" What made the great Felix tremble before the little missionsary? Conscience. What made Belshazzar's teeth chatter with a chill when he saw a finger come out of the black sleeve of the midnight and write on the plastering? Conscience, conscience. Why is it that that man in this audience, with all the marks of worldly prosperity upon him, is agitated while I speak, and is now flushed and is now pale, and then the breath is uneven, and then beads of perspiration on the forehead, and then the look of unrest comes to a look of horror and despair? I know not, but he knows and God knows. It may be that he dispell- ed a fair young life, and turned innocence into a waif, and the smile of hope into the brazen laughter of despair. Or .it may be that he has in his possession the property of others, and by some stratagem ho keeps it according to law, and yet he knows it is not his own, and that if his heart should stop boating this moment he would be in hell forever. Or it may be that he is re- sponsible for a great mystery, the disap- pearance of some one who was never heard of, and the detectives were baffled, and the tracks were all covered up, and the swift horse or the rail train took him out of reach, and there aro only two persons in the universe who knew of it -God and. himself. God present at the time of the t, tea od and resent at the retros action tragedy P P and conscience -conscience with stings, conscience with pinchers, conscience with flails, • conscience with furnaces, is upon him, and until a man's conscience arouses him he does not repent. What spade that farmer converted to God go to his infidel neighbor and say:-" Neighbor,I have four of your sheep. They came into my fold six years ago. They had your mark upon them, and I changed it to my mark. I want you to have those sheep, and I want you to have the interest on the money, and I want you to have the increase of the fold; if you want to send me to prison I shall make no complaint!" 'The infidel heard of the man's conversion, and ho said, "Now, now, if you have got thorn sheep you are wolcoino to them. I don't want nothing of those things at all. You just go away from me. Soreting has got hold of you that I don't understand. I heard you were downn at those religiousious meet- ings." But the converted mean would not allow things to stand in that way, and so he infidel said: -"Well, now, you can pay me the value of the 'sheep, and six per cent. interest from that tini:e to this, and I shan't say anything aboutit. . Just go away from me." What was the matter with the two farmers? In the ono case a convicted conscience loading liini: to hon- esty, and in the other case a convicted con- science warning against infidelity. Conversion amounts to nothing unless the earth;is oonverted,and the pocket -book is converted, and the cash drawer is con- verted, and the ledger is converted, and the pigeon -hole containing the correspond- ence is converted, and his improvement is noticed even by the canary bird that sings in the parior, and the cat that; licks the platter after the meal, and the dog that comes bounding from the kennel to greet him. A man half converted, or quarter converted, or a thousandtivpart converted, is not converted at all. What will be the great book in the Day of. Judgment? Con- science. Conscience rooallingniisiinprov- ed opportunities. Conseinece recalling =forgiven sins. ' Conscience bringing up all the past. Alas! for this Governor Pontius Pilate, That night after the court anddrists had had adjourned the S anho gone home, and nothing wits 3ieartl out- side the room but the step of the sentinel, I see Pontius Pilate arise from his tapes- tried and sleepless couch, and go to the laver and begin to wash his hands, crying, "that, Out, crimsonP spot! 1 7.ollest thouto me, and to God, and to the night my crime? Is there no alkali to remove these dreadful stains? Is there no chemistry to dissolve this carnage? Must I to the day of my ,death carry the Wood of this inno- cent roan in fey heart and hand? Out, thou crimson spot 1" The worst thing a man can have is an evil conscience, and the best thing a man can have is what Paul calls a good conscience. }tops wore used its a ntetiicine and as a basis for an intoxiantnig beverage in Egypt as early as 5,000 13. 0, The plant is represented on the Egyptian monuments of that date. eases 'seaway tettetefiessoiefisessee, asesersareesee A MAN OUT OF WORK,. 1No one saw lura stepoff the passenger train. He must have stolen a ride on the western freight, He walked up to the main street one morning and spade: 1.1 tat mecca .of tramps, the saloon. It was August. rile fury of th winds was blasting the corn, and w human hopes. That pitiless wind! three weeks it had surged northward, .. unwearied, scorching, palpitant tido, t one fancied exiled from hell itself. Evbn. at night it did not rest,but buffeted, with soft fierceness the hot eye of desperate men. The stranger was tall, thin, muscu- lar, His face was clean-out, clean-shaven. His hair, a ruddy brown, was trimmed close, His clothes did d not fit him. The trousers were too short. The coat had evi- dently been made for a stouter man. The day was Saturday, so, although early, there 1 were a good many in the saloon ;; the drayman, agent, lumberman, grain man, half a dozen farmers, and a couple of chronic loafers. These looked askance at the newcomer who entered, He took off his hat -a sunburned slouch- and addressed the crowd. "I'm trying to get back East, gentle- men -and my voice is my ticket." He stared at the nickel fixtures of the bar and began to sing. The men ceased their rueful talk about the drought, their profanity hushed, it seemed their very breath. For the voice that rang through the vulgar little room was rioh, pure, vi- brant, powerful, mellowly sweet. The song ended he looked around, but did not extend the hat he held, waiting to learn if his song had pleased his hearers. "Do it again," a man urged, unlimber- ing himself from a keg as he spoke, "and have a drink. What can you sing?" "Anything." "We don't go much on opery here, but we'd like to git some of them things we read about, like `Where did you git that hat?' an' `Two little girls in blue.' Kin ye sing them?" The stranger laughed. He sang the ditties requested. Then some one asked for "Marguerite." Another man propos- ed a drink. various requests were proffer- ed. The singer sang on. In the apprecia- tion of his listeners he found inspiration. A queer ecstasy, not begotten of the liquor drank, came on the ordinarily stolid crowd. Tho singing stimulated them. It lent a smile to sullen lips, a light to surly eyes. For the time being they forgot the drought, the maddening winds, the cer- tain failure of the corn crop. These were inoments of reprieve. Realization, crush- ing as conscience, would oomo later. The man who had been in Chicago when Lottie Collins whirled around the stage smiled delightedly to hear "Ta-ra-ra, Boom- deay, " and broke into eulogistic reminis- cences of the Enlgish dancer. The old Frenchman on the corner who mended shoes for a living and had hobbled down to lean against the door and listen beamed when he heard the tender strains of the Tower song in "Il Trovatore.' And the boy who had been sent two thousand miles west in search of health kept his bright, hollow eyes fastened on the glaring poster announcing the State fair,whenthe tramp sang "Home Sweet Home." The singer ceased, held out his hat. A willing little shower fell into it. Tho rich- est span present, a farmer and stockman, gave a nickel; the roan who could least afford to give anything dropped in a quar- ter. "Now a last song!" a voice suggested. A rollicking college song followed the request. A man walking down the other side of the street heard it, crossed over. He was large, florid , gold -bearded, of im- perious manner. "Eh;" he cried, " I thought I knew the jingle. "Is it you, Jack?" The singer looked at the stranger, on whom prosperity had set her seal "I don't know you, he answered." "Not know me" 1 The other laughed nervously. "Why, we were at Yale to- gether. You are-" "A man out of work." "But your name is-" "Brown." "Brown be damned! Don't you remem- ber when I went home and spent my vacation with you, and—" He broke off abruptly: as their eyes met. "Well, what will you take?" he ended lamely. "Nothing." The Prosperous Man left the saloon. He went home. It was a perturbed face that which his wife, a frail, pretty, faded woman looked upon when he entered. "What is it, dear?" "0, an odd meeting! That fellow you were enagged to, whom I cut out, is sing- ing for pennies' down in the saloon." "Richard!" "Ho is, I offered him a drink. He re- fused to recognize me. He holds a grudge against ine yet, 1 suppose; but all's fair, I say, in love and war." "How -how did he-" "1 don't know. Got burned out in Western Nebraska, I suppose, like hundreds poor devils. Finds this his onlyway ev w y to get home. Lots like hien." "Rickard, you must go back at once. If you are sure it is Jack, make him take money, twenty -fifty -a hundred dollars. It is dreadful!" The Prosperous Man wont down town again. He found the man he sought eat- ing in a cheap restaurant. "Here," ho said, is a tanner. You say you're not Jack Barrow This won't hurt you anyhow." The tramp pushed away his plate, stood up. He thrust his band in his pocket. He drew it out full of dimes, nickels, pennies. "I have all I need here," he said. "Enough to get drunk on." Imola That Na i rink.. re axe,.- number o 'v:niirials which eau'tat whelp' withp water, A iter in a boo}:;,? n Abyssinia says the : •' ither the De : nor the Bennett gaz ^ es were ever kna n to resort to the s S g , creeks or xiv, s for the purpose of eking, Darwin, his "Voyage of a Muralist," says t, ;; It Mess the wild »M- ale of Patagoni> , rink salt water they net drink •at all rurrot lived'' dons 1fty4w He Got Two for Five. At the foot of the elevated station at Sixth avenue and Fourteenth I came upon a ixian holding up two pair of shoo -strings which he bought from one of the street fakirs. Ho was looking at them in such a curious way that I asked him what was wrong. "Say!" ho replied, as he turned to me, "the feller said these were two oents a pair or two pairs for five cents!" "And you tools two pairs,„ I replied. "Yes, but how floes it come? That's what I'm trying to figure out.” "Why, the fakir beat you out of a cent." "'Twice two aro four, and so he did, and it has turned out jest as the old woman id it all! She told o et said wet t b m I d g swindled windled and cheated and robbed and horiiswaggld out of very cent I had and have to walk home, and this is the begin- ning of it l" "It's too had, and I'd. advise you-" "Never Inind your advice, young maxi" he interrupted, as he beaked away. "Yeti look like a brother to the chap who sold me a tin monkey for ton cents and. pmnohcd off eine cents worth of tail in wrapping it up in a, paper, and 12 you git me roused I'll break loose and lick the hull towel but ,i town, but I'll hey satisfacthon I , P3,atee for table use are among the aoti- cies dug from the sail of Rome. the London' Zoological pars without drinking, of water, and there are ma at ts who doubt wlie. her \e'iltl rabbits drink once. duringdyes. tliett.,i .te... 1)4 !i\E l" TUE, 1.14' isiiENCE. flee-." Did you ever kiss a man before, darling ?" `it: - " 011, no ; 01117 dudes." Fin notlsin on Shipboard. "Hy ono remarked the drummer to the hotel clerk, "is a groat snap." "So is a turtle," responded the clerk. 13u1 there . n 4 1. nota lot in it added the t1t•u nun or., "In shat -the turtle?" "Aw, lot us," commented the drum- mer. "Hpynotism has solved the riddle for ane, and I'm going to Europe next near, " "What has it done? Dropped a couple of i hon. into your inside pocket?" "Of course not. You know I have never gone because I couldn't stand the seasick- ness,,, "That's what you've always said." "That was the reason; too; but yester- day I met a friend who has been over there for a couple of years, just because he was afraid to come back again." "Couldn't he compromise with his cred- itors?" interrupted the clerk. "As I was saying," continued the drummer, regardless of the interruption, "he was so shaken up on the trip over that he was afraid to come back, and he might have died on foreign soil, if he hadn't run across a distinguished hypnotist in Paris who was coming to America, and the Frenohman suggested that he make anex- periment on him he had long been anxi- ous to make, to wit, continuing a sensitive in the hypnotic condition for an indefinite period. My friend proved to be a good subject, and after a few experiments a- shore they went aboard ship, the hypnotist put him under the influence, that is, by suggestion, as they say,simply telling him every morning he wouldn't be sick, and he caner. ;,t• •' s as smooth as you please,. and never - sick for a moment. The captain of t..e ship was so pleased with the experhment that he secured the services of a hypnotist to go with the ship regularly, and I'in going to Enro a on that ship i n May, and I won't be the only one either. It's going to boom ocean travel, and I'll tell yon how it feels when I come back." The clerk gave a long, low whistle of doubt, and sunt a pitcher of ice water to room 13. Familiar Phrases. "To put a flea in his ear," to indicate a sharp rebuff, is a proverbial saying found in all languages having a literature. The trite expression to "rain cats and dogs," indicating a severe shower, is found. in Dean Swift. It is supposed to be of proverbial origin, and much older than his time. "Familiarity breeds contempt" is a pro- verb found in one form or another in every English and Asiatic language hav- ing a literature. Its earliest form is be - >d lion � to be the Sanskrit. To "turn the cold shoulder" is probably a very ancient proverb. It first appears in a literary form in Soott's "Antiquary" where it is used with exactly the signifi- cance attached to it at present. "To put ones' foot in it" is an Enlgish country saying. After the milk is drawn from the cows it is commonly placed in large flat pans and sot on the ground to cool; in which position it is an easy matter for a clumsy fellow to put his foot in the pati. "A feather in his cap" has a Hungarian origin. During the centuries when war with the Turks was constantly going on a Hungarian soldier was allowed to wear one feather on his cap for every Turk he had killed, and so the slaughter of an ad- ditional foe meant one more feather. To "take the cake" is an expression which seems to have originated among the colored people of the South. Cake walks, or promenades, in which Oakes were offered as a reward for grace of de inoanor, were formerly common in the Southern States, and even now know in many localities. The expression "bloody shirt" is believ- ed to havo originated with the Italians of New Orleans. There were many Corsi- cans among them, and in that turbulent island when a man was killed in one of the private feuds which were continually occurring his bloody shirt and other garments were exposed at the funeral in relatives to incite his e lati yea bov ang canes. "The devil take the hindmost" is a pro- verbial saying, having its origin in Spain. According to a Spanish legend, the devil had. a school of anegio at Toledo, and at the conclusion of a term of instruction there was a race of the graduates to get away, the entire class being pursued by the devil, who is entitled to the Soul of the last in the procession. According to the story, the one thus overtaken Was des- tined to be a ramous magician; and sever- al of the most noted:sorcerers of medieval times were supposed to have been thus` overtaken in the rase from the Toledo in- stitute. ss Stub Ends or "Thought. A man's best friend .is a fat pocket book,, It is well to profit by our ,own errors but better to profit by the errors .of ,others. It is easier to wish. than to work, an, there's less in it, and more people doing The ideal lbusband and the ideal wit are purely creations of the brain, Flattery is food to the avarice of fools. Tints is the sandwich between birth an death, Time is the surgeon who sate • broke. Hearts. - A man thinks he knows it all, unti woman begins to enlighten ton him. Plasure is very often merely the mss of pain; happiness nver is. Thought Baby a Chicken. Harold Fiske is an irrepressible Lak Superior boy, now nearly three years o age. When about two years old he wa delighted by the arrival of a baby sister lie had never seen a chicken, except a it was dressed, ready for 000king, and see ing the baby in the bath, ran out of th room crying: "0, papa, come see d. ohh,'hing1" Be also saw the baby lyln fact, downward on the nurse's lap, an going to his mamma with alarm in hi voice and oyes, exclaiming! "0, mamma, baby's upside down!" and he could no rest until baby was turned "right sid up.' How Many Toes Has a Cat? This was one of the questions asked o a certain class during examination week, and, simple as the question appears to be, novo meld answer it. In the emergenc the r i"' ix . v al was applied to for a solution, P Pp and he also, with a good-natured smile gave it up, when one of the teachers, de termined not to be beaten by so simple question, hit on the idea of sending out delegation of boys to scours the neighbor hood for a oat. When this idea was as nounced the whole class wanted to join i the hunt. Several boys went out and sop returned successful. A returning board was at onoo appointed and the toes count- ed, when, to the relief of all, it was learn- ed that a cat possesses eighteen toes, ten on the front feet and eight on the hind feet. Good Manners. Writer offers several. wise suggeetions t boys and girls as to manners which mar them. Rise and offer your seat to a older person at once, and never lounge o the sofa or take the easiest chair while there are in the room whose age give them a better claim to them. Always be polite, respectful and modest in your de- meanor to every one, especially your supe- riors. Never stare people in the face. 71 you are talking with any one, it is proper to look at them eye to eye with a cheerful, dignified assurance; but to stare at anyone as if you saw something peculiar about him, is exceedingly rude and impolite. Be gentle and quite in your movements. If you are a young roan just commencing a business career, good manners will be indispensable to your success. An Hour Too Irate. The colonel wanted to buy a piece of land bordering on the Arkansas river and owned by a queer old fellow named All - port. l -port. The tavern keeper posted us on his eccentrioities,and cautioned us particular- ly that he belieevd the world was fiat and would not sell anyone who disputed him. We found the old man seated on a stump and fishing in a creek near his cabin, and when the subject of the visit had been stated ho inquired: "Stranger,what's your religun?" "Baptist," replied the colonel, according to programme. "What's yer polities?" "Haven't got any." "Do you think we orter annex Mexico?" "I do." 71 you as on a jury and a feller was y wJ y on trial fur pickin' up a few sawiogs in the river, how would you go -fur or agin him?" "I'd vote to acquit him, of course. When sawlogs break loose and go floating down stream they are common property." "That's so! That's as true as gospill" exclaimed the old man. "Stranger, I with you was goin'to settle around these parts. I like a man who talks plum and down as you does. So you want to buy land? Shouldn't a bit wonder if we could dicker. Be you a temperance man?' "Oh, no 1 I get drunk whenever I feel like it, and I always keep four gallons of whiskey in the house." "That's it! That's bewtifull If we had five men like you around yore we'd run the country. Yes, I expect you kin her that land at my sellin' price, which is $3,000." "When can you make out the papers?" asked the colonel. "Ohl to -day, I reckon. Stranger, do you believe in wimmin's rights?" "No, sir' !' "That's bewtiful1 Yes, I think we kin git the papers made out to -day. Runnel, can't you arrange to settle down yere? How about Jonah and the whale?" "I don't believe Jonah was swallowed." "Bewtiful-bewtiful1 I think I kin let you her that land fur about $2,500. What do think about this yere world, kurnel- is sho round or fiat?" "Flat as a pancake, 'of course 1" prompt- ly replied the colonel. "Do you think it?" "Of course. A man who says it's round is either a liar or an idiot. Shall we go over to the country -seat this afternoon?" "Not by a blamed sight.!" exclaimed the old man. "You couldn't have that land fur $20,000." "But why?" "Bekase you believe the world is flit!" "But don't you;?" "No, sir! I did up to about an hour ago, when the back end of my cabin set- tled down two feet and killed my dawg and skeared the old woman half to death. Then I made up my mind the world was fool 'nuff and Id binu8 to locate this farm jist about war' ,two inches more of tip will boost the hull caboodle of Allports into Chiny! Sorry fur you, kurnel, but you orter got yero about en hour sooner, while I was hanging on to the flatness of things and achin', to meet as big a fool as I was ! Elevator Wit. elevator vat rboys v o in the big fiat was air- ing his views to a passenger on the proper conduct of children. "What do you know about it?" laughed. the passongor; "you're not Married, are you?" "Well, no," replied the boy, "but I've brought up a good many families in any time," and then he gazed upthe elevator , g Shaft with a rapturous expression. The Methodist now own three heathen temples in Pekin, China, 25 40 24 s s o g d s e f y. a a n kr' n - - FISH - 13 sees RedI•ferring for,a,J 04 Pound Box Boneless Fish. for . 1.00 „ ,,. 1.50 ,, Pere Col Fish 1,20 Freight paid to your nearest station. A. R. CANNING. Wholesale Grocer, TOXIC/MVO. ammt• L 1 � o If E. the best they vs Stant use the people. In giving factionthey l v nothing 1•101•11•1=1.1111 not. eon- of r F • B. Eddy's were matches made, ould not be i1.1 by nine tenths general sati.s- leave absolute-- to be desired ALC is System. 000 have teen oldest and maintain whole any Hundreds the efficacy For LAKERURST SANITARIUM : -r i - ' 1fY1'foy F - /- T t. �y,� ,x e= ,; : sIca _, i ,._ da n �� e`fi fiA OAKVILLE, For the OLIMORPHINE T$E TOBACCO The system the famous Through Slaves been years. institution has in history after ill-effects of Dominion of terms THE _'S Bank ONTARIO. treatment and cure HABIT, sen HABIT, AND NERVOUS DISEASES. ofd -T_ Gold 290- poisons four- is the to In its of of to the us. _ employed at this institution Double Chloride of its agency over to the use of these emancipated in the last Lakehurst Sanitarium of its kind in Canada, a well-earned reputation this line of medicine. there is not an instance from the treatment. happy homes in all parts bear eloquent witness a course of treatment with and all information write SECRETARY, of Commerce Chambers,: Toronto, Ont. r` Place to Learn.. 7.?4e1.. / \.(P .(di---,).‘ 1J.EnusinesaiEdn PrraTon i atlheNort era MING.iin'l,O en Sound, Oi . Cold H EADACH CURED Catarrh DHUNT'S, . IN BOXES by mail on THE MILLER on the Head. AND IN FIVEE MINUTES. E using or Ont. Cared hi a 'week, by il MACIO SNUFF. 25 Cents at all Druggists, receipt of price. Address, EMULSION CO., Kingston, The Good Dye Young. That is, do not leave an article til it's worn out and threadbare but as soon as it shows signs of wear send it to Parkers. CLEAN- ING and DYEING is done well if ! ,.M,`,';. done at R. Parker & Co's., 787 and 791 Yonge St , Toronto. Branch offices and agents everywhere. Send for pamphlet. 5 The. No. B-15 I- a 0-. 0- eF- F-ae ,. 8- .0R-12 Si5 Any t to wane THE STEELS, Bargains in Bulbs and Plants ul m w 01Worth of ,feta mum ofOn , Gladiolus, finest assorted, for 6 Dahlias,selectshowvariet's" 8 blontbretias, handsome . 6 Roses,everbloom'g beauties" Window Collection x each, Fuchsia, Dbl. Fl. musk, Ivy and Sweet SctdG Geranium, avium Nanette Vine,Tro o firm bfor.?rinirosdcHeliotrope Geraniums finest assorted Coleus, fine assorted colors Iris, finest varieties lection- far e1e, ; 8 for ti,21; or 5 ter postpaid, cur selection. A snap Ontntogae Free. BBIOOS, MAROON SEED OD. LTD, Toronto, Ont. ,.. is K 50o, 50e. 50o, 60o.. OOo. � "000. i 50c. 600., OIL t rsaso.I'I:trC :11O'.'OTtS, from one. -half 1tnrse r..l Power alma l hewn 1lo;fte Power. Write for Vises, stating Power required, voltage of rttrrens to be used :rad whether supplied by Street our line of otherwise, 'PoT!nN'i' i TYPE 31(1"NDEY, reroute mid Winnipeg, re • � .v.„:a,.3,niw:.Sr4.,aa:..r«,-,,.....�.-.».a.a..:....�.r.;a