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Home My WebLink AboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1895-3-14, Page 2ILISCELLANEOUS HEADING ., .WI�1�, ,ti21'v. OTHERWISE. interesting heeding Culled from many Sources, of interest to the Young, as well as rho Old. "Only a. Drunkard." 1 know I'm a drunkard, helpless, forlorn, Lost the inheritance to which I was born; Daily, from morn till night, aimless I roam, Hearing ir'o loving words claiming =home. I'm only a rudderless wreck at the best, Drifting and torsed on a sea of unrest Rearing the laic alters—I carr not to live ; Hoping for nothitg that death cannot give. Far from the homeliclit, out in the, storm, There's never a place for my shiv'ringform, Weary I wander, seeking for rest; Bat then --I'm -only a drunkard at beat." I'm in the gutter, and the throng on the street Are passing me by with hurrying feet, Raving no c are fur one hopeless alone-- I'm'•oniy a drunkard," whom no one will own. Lying.' here dreamily, mockin repose, em ries of long ago faintly disclose Visions of happiness,1 eIg since repressed; Ropes of my youthful days—gone with the rest. Back to my childhood in fancy I roam, Weary no len rr. Irest in my noino. I know attain trusting, joyous delight ; I am a child again—just for to -night. Orchard mid meadow. fair mountain and glen, Alt that I loved so well; brightly again. Over my vision in dream -pictures cast, Bear me baek to my childhood ; I rest in th= past. The cottage, vine -draped, I cannot forget; My mem'ry clings to it tondly asy et. Dear home of my boyhood, oh 1 let me to -night Still dream on thy hearthstone in restful de- light. His sorrow forgetting, clown in the reek And filth of the gutter. pressing his cheek On the cold, grimy stones, silent he lay ; His spirit in dre. inland wandered away ohamberrnaids wetild make a fortune here." "Who do the men marry ?" inquired the seorotary*, alter a thoughtful pause. "They don't marry," replied the mis- sionary. "More than that, this region is settled by ranchmen, n ycurt nen who, o , for want of home life, are driven to drinking and gambling. This town is filled with saloous and gambling -dens. " the teen must have amusement -- something besides their work. They are not usually a class who care for reading, or who have emelt self-control, The most efli,aient help I could have in my work would be a few good homes with wives and mothers in the tt." The difficulty was a now one to the good secretary. I remained in his memory.. Six months later he visited a large country town in New England. After two days he said to the cls gyman, "I s e only women and old men here. Where are your young men?" "Gone West," was the reply. "Worse then that, theyehave carried with them the capital aud;enorgy of the town. There is no industry by which the surplus pop- ulation of women can support themselves. They simply slave and starve and grow old." The secretary made no reply. But later he made a suggestion and a propo- sal to his host, which was,if he would select thirty respectable anindustrious young women in his town, and induce the to go to the mining town he had visited he would consign them to the Dare of the missionary and his wife, who would take them in charge and secure work for them, for which they would receive liberal ply. "I will see," he said, "that the ex- pense of their passage out is paid, and the cost of their board until each girl has found employment." The uffer was accepted, and soon a car- load of bright, energetic girls were on their way west. A year or more later the secretary again visited tho missionary, and again his wife cooked and served the dinner. "Why, where are the thirty maids?" he exclaimed. "Every one," said Mrs. M., "is mar- ried and in a home of her own, ,akin'" I hope, a better man of her husband. you intended they should do," she added, significantly. The old clergyman laughed. "There are other ways of preaching the Gospel than by sermons," he said quietly. Fashioned in form of man. do yon not know What sh ftiugs of fortune brought hien so low ? Tempted like i im, itplight have been true The same bitter trials would overwhelm you. Mournfully sad is this 1 Men do not know ,all the weir wreck, lying there in the snow, Has borne in the scoffs and jeerings of man, Loathe him, but pity him too, if yon can. Gould he but feel aga n lovinggbands meet Over his eating place out in the street. Bands that would bear him shelterward then Away from the sneers and unkindness of men; Praying. 't+rem vale of sin into thy light, Lead me, t> rod of Love 1 lead me to -n ght 1" Then might his mania od rise up again, Up to the stature belonging to men. Too late came the handathat lifted his form, ,end heedlessly bore it out of the storm; No mother's gKentle hands on his brow pressed No k as, or"Good-night, my sun," gave sweet rest. Wonderful love is this—motherhood's seal— Binding t ur hearts to ber, truer than steel: Though in the depths of sin. roami g afar, We cling to that fondly wherever we are. Knew he such love as that? Well, she can't know. Out in the gold and sleet. ander the snow, Stronger hands found her son, dying alone "Only a drunkard," whom no onewould own. They lifted him rudely; What did they care If no loving hands encircled him there? IInbal'lori ed the grave where he has found rent, 'or nameless he died, "a drunkard at best." Ram's Horn's Blasts. Some shepherd's seem to forget that sheep never stand on their hind legs to eat. The conviction of sinners is sure to be deep when the church is hearing God speak. The journey to the cross is short when we are willing to go to it with bleeding feet. The devil can behave himself as wallas an angel when he has to do it to gain his point. One reason why Christ ate with publi- eans and sinners was that they made Him welcome. cel ome. The blind would never find out that they were blind if somebody with eyes didn't tell them so. The religion that is only seen on Sun- day is not the kind that is going to bring the world to Christ. Small Change. Politics is a duty, not a trade. Only the golden rule can ,bring the golden age. Do your grumbling where nobody but yourself hears it. The love we have for sin only takes that much from Christ. Conceit is a dangerous foe to most men of moderate ability. Yon cannot make a bad egg good by mixing it with good ones. The men whom God trusts with success are those who forget self. A Novel Invention. SIM ONLY WANTED TO KNOW. But the Floor Walker Was Kept on rina and Needles Before He Could Answer. Ib tdried-up,stop was only a little ed - p shouldered, thick -lipped, white -eyed went into a big m whob black wi an dry g goods emporium the other day and said to the affabl t floor -walker as he met her at the door : "Got any yarn knittin' thread ?" "Yes; step this way, please." "Wait a minute, honey," said the old woman, grabbing the floor -walker by the coat tails, much to the amusement of all idle clerks who began to gather around to see the fun. "I ain't ax you yit. Got any pins an' cotton -stripes, an' silk dresses, an' par'sols an' bleached tames - tie an' blue ribbon an' piller-cases an' undershirts an' sewin' merehines an' bus- tles an' crimpin' pins an' table clears an'— „twee n'—an'_„e "Step this way and I will show you what we have,” interposed the floor- walker, thinking she was about to break down, but she had only paused for breath. \ hat mak you won't lemme ax you what I wants?" she went on. "Got any cookin' stoves an' lace curtains an' lamp- ohimblies an' carpets an' chany cups an' hairth brooms an' piet.tre-frames an' writin' paper an' B,hl'mals an' kid gloves an' head-hankchers an'—" "Step this way." "Wait jess a minute chile, tell do of 'omen git though, can't you ? I d'want to look at nothin' tat to -day. What I ax you is you got 'em." Yes." "Well, now days what I wanter git at. Whyncher say so at fust, den I wouldn't be here,pesterin' you so long, Yon see, its dieser way. De of man come home tether night an' fetah me a speckle pul- let, an' when spring opens dat pullet Jess natchelly gwine start to lay, ain't she ? Well, dat's huccome Icome her axin' you what you got so's I'll know what to speet fur dem aigs when I fetch 'em to town, dat's all." One of: the unique exhibits at the late World's Food Fair in Chicago, and one that excited much commentand very gen- eral attentiea was a machine in full ope- ration by which the whole grain, denuded of its outer coating, was transformed di- rectly into food and bread. The object of the machine is to make a light and short bread and food without the use of flour or meal, and without yeast, baking powder, soda, saleratus, cream of tartar, alum or fermentatives or equivalents, and without the use of lard, butter or substi- tutes therefor. s Holding His Congregation. To succeed in this is one of the tests of the modern preacher. There is so much preaching, so many churches and such a multitude of lecturers and other speakers, that people leave the speaker who is dry. and uninteresting. It often a sore trial to a worthy man who is doing his very best. Sometimes congregations are hes" less and blamewortuy in that they de- sert a man they ought to stand by. A Scoth preacher was fortunate in this mat- ter in his e ngregation according to the following story : A prison chaplain was recently ap- pointed to a certain town. He was a man who greatly magnified his office, and, entering one of the cells on his first round of inspection, he, with much pomposity, thus addressed the prisoner who occupied it : "Well, sir, do you know who I am?" "No, nor I dins care," was the curt reply. "Well, I am your prison chaplain." "Oh ! ye are ; weal, I have heard of ye before." "And what did ye hear ?" returned the chaplain, his curiosity getting the better of his dignity. " %eel," replied the prisoner, "I heerd the last two kirks ye were in ye preached them both empty, but I'll be hangeded if ye'll find it sic' an easy matter tae dao the same wi' this ane." Rani, Poison. The head bartender of a down -town saloon is quoted as saying that he knows of a number of eases where beer drawers have, in addition to losing several of the fingers of both hands, lost the use of both hands. He said.: "I know, and every other bartender kuo ws, that it is impos- sible to keep a pair of shoes behind the bar," He added . Beer will rot leather as rapidly almost as acid will eat into iron. If I were a temperance orator I'd ask what must beer do to man's stomaoh s if it eats men's fingers and their shoo leather. I'm here to sell it, but I won't. drink it—not much? We eomm.end ,.bis significant testimony to the thought- ful consideration of beer-drinters gen- erally. Sent West. insanity resembling very • closely senile dementia. The cold was probably not alone responsible for these &•fleets, for a zero temperature inis rather stimulating u n than paralyzingits action , po the well fed and the healthy. These men werehalf starved, poorly clad, worn out d with long marching, many already weak- ened by disentry and other diseases, and all mentally depressed, aS an army in dei feat always is, It needed, therefore, no very unusual degree of cold to produce the physical effect observed under other circumstances only as a consequence of exposure to an extremely low temper- ature, Nota Long Courtship. "Was yours a long courtship, old fel- +low 'tGracious, no l ldy wife had nine lit- tle brothers and sisters," "Really. Bat what difference did that make ?" "What difference ? Well, if you had to bribe a crowd like that to keep out of the drawing -room every time you went to see your girl you'd soon want to cut short the expense." A Maple Sugar Evaporator. We come to a rather pretentious affair, which the boy who comes whistlingai..ng the road tells me ooutains the "'vapors - tor an' all them things for makin' sugar." What we should have thought, in my boyhood, of so magnifient an edifice de- voted to the making of maple sugar, I can hardly imagine. The sap is led by a pipe, or system of pipes, from a tank outside of the build- ing, perhaps even at a considerable dis- tance. Some sugar -makers have a "gathering tank" placed as close as pos- sible to the trees which are being tapped into which the sap is poured as fast as it. is collected. From this gathering -tank a pipe leads to the "storage -tank," the flow of which is regulated by a stop -cock. The sap passes from this reservoir to the "heater," which is at the back of the "evaporator." A.t first the fluid is merely heated ; passing along a pipe it enters the "evapo- rator," which is a shallow pan whose floor is deeply corrugated, each corruga- tion leading into the next. As the sap travels this serpentine path it is rapidly boiled and condensed by the brisk fire in the (mace beneath. When it has reach- ed the end of its journey it is a thick, rich, golden -hued fluid, quite different from the thinnsweet, colorless water which came from the tree. This is the maple syrup of commerce, twin with the buckwheat cake in the reverence of, uian- kind. What visions of the lost years, what dreams of pork sausages, the musi- cal sound of frying in the twilight of the winter morning, what delicious odor of hot coffee, what loud scraping of chairs hastily brought to the table, what clang of knives and forks, oh, ostrich stomach rads fluid,which of boyhood . does thisy seems to have tangled within its sticky threads the rays of all joyous sunrises, evoke! Alas, for the dubious digestion of middle -age ! Alas, for the departed glory of the buckwheat cake and its sweet bride the maple syrup ! But sie transit gloria mundi, and the buckwheat cake as well, If instead of passing the sap along these corrugations or gutters so rapidly, it is retained a certain time longer so that it shall boil down to a thicker consistency it will then, if poured into pans or moulds, solidify and become maple sugar. I am informed that the demand for maple syrup has so increased of late years that a large portion of the sap is devoted to the production of that alone.—Prom "Sugar Time Among the Maples," in I)emorest's Magazine for March. Love and Proposals. There is a clever statistician who could teach a thing or two to the novelists. This statistician has attempted to class- ify the action and methods of proposals, and, as a result, has presented tabulated figures, extremely interesting to psychol- ogists. Out of as hundred cases, thirty- six gentlemen take lady in arms, sixty- seven gentlemen kiss lady on lips, four gentlemen kiss lady on cheek, three gen- tlemen show very good taste by kissing lady on eyes, and two gentlemen kiss lady on hand. It is to be presumed that these two out of a hundred are the timid, diffident kind, though it is possible that they might be of aquietly sentimental nature, Otte gentleman kissed lady on nose. It must be aided that the satistic- ian is careful to insert the saving clause (by mistake). There is even a record of a man kissing a lady on edge of shawl, but, thank goodness, there is,only one in a hundred, and the chances are that this man is peculiar.. Seventy-two hold lady's hand, seven- teen hold it very tightly, and fourteen have lamps in their throats. Only seven out of a hundred declare themselves to be deliriously happy, and five are too full for utterance. Three out of a hund- dred. stand on one foot when they make proposals, and two go down on one knee, while nine make a formal prelude—some- thing like the slow music in the play, we suppose, when the villain appeals to heaven to witness the consuming flame of his affections for the heart he plots to ruin, etc. The behavior of the lady under the circumstances is equally entertaining and instructive. Out of a hundred cases eighty-one sink into the arms of the gen- tleman, sixty-eight rest their heads on gentleman's breast, and only one sinks into the arms of a chair ; eleven clasp their arms around the gentleman's neck,. six weep tears of joy silently, and forty- four weep tears aloud, whatever that means; seventy-two have eyes full of love, and nine out of a hundred rush from the room and tell everybody. Only four are greatly surprised, and eighty-seven of a hundred knew that something was coming. 'Five giggle hysterically, and one even sneezes. Only one of a hund- red struggles not to be kissed, while six kiss gentleman first. If we believe the statistician, one out of a hundred women will say ; "Yes, but don't be a fool !" Twisters for the Tongue, Read the following aloud, repeating the shorter onus quickly half a dozen times in succession : Six thick sickle sticks. Flesh of fleshly fried filing fish. The sea eeaseth and it suiliceth us. High roller, low roller, rower. A box of mixed biscuits, a mixed bis- cuit box. Strict strong Stephen Stringer snared slickly six sickly silly snakes. Swan swam over the sea i swim swan swim ; seen swam back again, well swum swan. It is a shame, Sam'; these are the same, Sam. 'Tis alt a sham, Sam, and a shame it is to sham s , Sam.. A growing gleam, growing green. The bleak breeze blighted the bright broom blossoms. Susan shines shoes and socks ; socks' and shoes shine Susan. She ceasetk shin- ing shoes and socks, for shoes and socks shock Susan. Robert Rowley rolled a round roll round ; a round roll Robert Rowley roll- ed round ; where rolled' the round roll Robert Rowley rolled round. Oliv r Oglethorp ogled an owl and oys- ter. Did Oliver Oglethorp ogle an owl and oyster? If Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl and, oyster, where are the owl and oyster Oliv.r Oglethorp ogled? • Hobbs meets Snobbs and Nobbs ; Hobbs bobs to Snobl-s and Nobbs; Hobbs nobs with Snobbs and robs Nobbs' fob. "That is," says Nobbs, "the worse for Hobbs' jobs," and Snobbs sobs. Sammy Shoesmith saw a shrieking songster. Did Sammy Shoesmith see a shrieking "songster ? If Sammy .Shoe- smith saw a shrieking songster, where's the shrieking songster Sammy Shoesmith saw ? I went into the garden to gather some blades, and there 1 saw two pretty babes "Ah, babes, is that you, babes, braiding of blades, babes? If you braid any blades at all, babes, braid broad blades babes, or braid no '.raids at all. babes." You snuff shop snuff, I snuff 'box snuff ONTARIO PARLIAMENT.. Mr. Harcdurt, in opening his speech on the budget, expressed his desire that it , hould prove both clear and adequate, and be, as on fernier occasions, absolute- ly faithful' to essential facts. He then referred to the fact that the actual re- ceipts of the Province during 1894 had exceeded the estimated receipts by $tu6,- 29J, amounting as they did to. $3,453,162, which sum did not include moneys paid by municipalities on account of sums borrowed:. The receipts from the Lands Department has been $1,057,532, and ex- ceeded the estimate by $141,582. Oi the revenues from this department $980,427 lead come lrom woods and forests. The second item in importance was the revenue from licenses, tuough this source had been gradually decking during recent years, the cause being the decrease in the number of licenses, which was reduced from 3,528 in 1890 to 8,276 in 1893. There had been a great reduction in the num- ber of licenses during the last two de- cades, the cumber issued in 1878 having been 6,185, equal to four for every 262 of the population, as against' one for every 645 now Mr, Al.arter, who was received with loud Opposition applause, regretted that the Government had not afforded the Op- position members more time in which to examine the public accounts and the esti- mates, when they would have been in a much better position to criticize the statement of the Provincial Treasurer than they now were. They all desired to congratulate the Treasurer on the statement he had just made, and the man- ner in which it had been delivered. It was for the Opposition to take up the other side of the question, and to show that the present Government had not been economical, and had not always studied the interests of the province, as the Treasurer would have them believe. They had been told that the receipts of province for the past year amounted to $8,453,162, but in 'what manner, he asked, had the Treasurer contributed to this amount? The Dominion paid to the province $1,559,685, which was received in the form of a cheque every six months, whilst from the Crown Lands Deletrt- went was derived the sum of 1,088,262. These were the two great sources from whish the in.uney was obtained for carry- ing on theaffairs of the province, .The amounts die'rived from other sources reach,. d the sum of $8u2,422. It would be seen therefore that the duties of the Treasurer would not involve any great amount of effort. He had not to rack his brains in the effort to find where the money was to come from, and it was the easiest thing in the world for him to finance with such sources of revenue as he had at his command. Whenever a de- ficiency accarred. all the Treasurer had to do was to consult the. Cemmissioner of Crown Lands, and to dispose of . some of the real estate of the proviuce. The greatest expenditure had probably taken place in connection with the Crown Lands Department. In that department no less a sum of the assets of the province than $1,000,000 a year had been consumed. Although treated as revenue • the assets in question were not such; be- cause when the timber of the province was sold and the proceeds used for cur- rent expenditure, they were really living upon Ontario's capital. He thought the Government were to bo censured tor not taking greater steps to secure settlers. He would like to SO4 the adoption of a policy that would give to the settler whatever timber there was upon the land after he had performed his settlement duties. Mr. 11larter then dealt with the man- agement of education in the province. Under a political head the cost of man- agement had increased 300 per cent. be- tween 1871 and 1894. The Minister had a fad iu regard to high schools, and every other educational institution was made to conform to it. He did not wish to be understood as bo opposed to high schools. They were required ; but the Opposition aid not wish them to be made the only desideratum in the educational system of the province. The public schools were being rendered inefficient because of the everlasting practice of looking to the high schools. Mr. Haycock expressed his pleasure at the grand effort of the hon. Treasurer this afternoon. Ho was glad to see that half the total amount of the increase in the estimates was to be devoted to agri- culture In conclusion, he dealt briefly with the question of a he form in the public schools, which he strongly favored. Mr. Matheson, in rising to speak to the motion, expressed his appreciation of the ability displayed by the hon. Treasurer in making his statement. The surplus shown was taken out of the timber resources of the country, from which $2,970,000 had been taken in the last six years to make up these deficits. The fact was that they were attempting to educate the people up to a system of direct taxation, which they dare not pro- pose to -day, but which would inevitably come if the resources of the province were wasted in the future as they had been in the past. With regard to the succession duties, the lion. member thought it would be well if small estates could be released from the operation of the act. About five years ago the secretary of a mieeionary organization in one of oar great religious denominations visited a large mining town in the West. There wag a missionary in the plaee with whom he stayed. The dinner was cooked and. served by the wife of his host, who sat down, too wearied to eat, "Have you no help," asked the secre- tary. The missionary's wife laughed. `"There g are several thousands of men in title town, and only twenty-two women," she said. "The women are the wives of prosperatle eitisens, i do not know that one of them, has a maid to help her. There are not enough Chinamen to meet the domestic demands, Women cooks or How to Time a Train. Superintendent Alvey of the Baltimore and Ohio jrailroad has evolved a method of judging of the speed of a railroad train, which is of general interest. He says : It is very easy to find out the speed when you are travelling on a double- traeked road. If you are curious about it hereafter just look at the inside of the the outer rail on the opposite track for a minute or two until you find that you can distinguish where one rail joins the other. Then count the joints, and as many rails as you pass in twenty-one seeonds is the number of miles your train is travelling an hour. Try it yourselves and figure it out, and you will find that I am right. Quito as easy a way would be to count the concussions resulting from the car passing from one rail to another. Figs and Thistles. Jesus Christ wasoor, but Ile never 1' s begged. Hemeniber that the top side of a cloud' is always bright, A lazy man loses heart every time he looks at a clock. The best advertisement for a revival, is the revival itself. God never says " dhigher "' to don* tip any except the faithful. Love is the only thing that more' than pays for all it gets. , Colxtro' eeete in..reliigiotts matters pays no spiritual dirid'ends. No Longer Por Se. Mr. George W. Bain, the temperance orator, says : "You often hear the re- mark that ` There is no harm in a glass of wine per se.' Per se means by itself. Certainly there's no harm in a glass of wine by itself. Place a glass of wine by itself and it remains there and it is per se and it harms no one: But if you take it from the shelf and turn it inside a man, then it is no longer per se." The Effect of Intense Cold Upon )Lind. Extreme cold, as is well known, exerts a benumbing influence upon the faculties. Almost everyone who has been exposed, for a short period, to a very low temper- ature has noted a diminution in will power and often a temporary weakening of the memory. Perhaps the largest scale upon which this action has ever been studied was during the retreat of the French from Moscow. The troops suffer- ed extremely from hunger, fatigue and cold—from the latter perhaps most of all. A German physician who accompanied a detachment of his countrymen has left an interesting account of their trials dur- ing the retreat. Prom an abstract of this paper by Dr. Rose, in the New Yorker Medicinisbe Monatschrifa we find that of the earliest symptoms referable to the cold was a loss of memory. This was noticed in the strong as well as those who are already suffering from the .effects of the hardships to which they had been ex- posed. With the first appearance of :a moderately low temperature (about five degrees above sero Fahrenheit), many of the soldiere were found to have forgotten the nettles of most ordinary things about them, as well al those of the articles of food, for the want of which they were perishing. Many forgot their,ovni names and those of their comrades. Others showed more pronolinoed symptoms of mental disturbance, and not a few bo - came incurably insane,' the type of their Health Alphabet. The Ladies' Sanitary Association of Loudon gives the following simple rules for keeping health : A—s soon as yon are up shake blanket and sheet ; B—etter be without shoes than sit with wet feet ; C —hildren, if healthy, are active, not still ; D—amp beds and damp clothes will both make you ill ; E—at slowly and always ehew your food well; F—reshen the air in the house where you dwell ; G—arments ;must tight ; Homes should be healthy, airy and light. I-1 you wish to be well, as you do, I've no doubt, Just raise up the windows before you go out ; K—eep the rooms always tidy and clean, L—et dust on the furniture never be seen ; M uch illness is caused by the want of pure air ; N—ow to open your windows be ever your care ; 0-13. rags and old rubbish should never. be kept ; P—eople should see that the floors aro all swept; Q—nick movements in children are heal- thy ealthy and right; R—emember the young eannot thrive without light ; S—se that the cistern is clean to the brim ; Take care that your dress is all tidy and trim ; II --se your, nose to find if there be a bad drain ; • V-ery sad are the fevers that come in its train ; W—alk as much as you can without feel- ing' fatigue.; X -arses could walk full many a league ; Y—our health is your, wealth which your wisdom must keep ; Z—eal will help a goad cause and the good you will reap. A Niue -Cent Cola. never be made too A// Se l •rts If you have a sewing machines aclothes wringer or a carpet . . sweeperpesweeper(all new inventions of modern times), it's proof' that you can sec: the usefulness of" iiew things. !A{t AN?.l ryy Is A NEW SHORTENING, and every h,.iueetaseper who is interested in the health and comfort of her filliiiiy should gine it atrial. It's a vegetable product and far su- perior to anything else for short- ening and frying purposes. Physicians and Cooking Experts say it is destined to be adopted in every kitchen in the. land. This is to suggest that you put - it in yours now. Its' both new and good. Sold in 3 and '5 pound pails, by all grocers, ne ��n.. 14.17A7,% 4044 ri Q1041 o7 Made only by THE. N. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY, Wellington and Ann Sta., MONTREAL. THE MODEL COOK. She Was So Strict That She Would Not Receive Company. One of the best stories I have heard of of late is told on a retired army officer, who is the happy father of two very pretty and charming daughters. The other day his wife was in want of a cook. A good-looking woman called upon her with the best of recommendations, and the lady engaged her, for she was greatly pleased with the girl's appearantie. "You will understand, Sarah, how- ever," she said, "that I cannot permit you to receive comeany evenings." "You need-- not fear about that, ma'am," replied Sarah. "I never allow men to be dancing around me." A few days after this the gentleman of the house invited a friend to dinner. A comment upon the excell nee of the cook- ing led to the subject of the cook herself. Both the colonel and his wife were loud in their praises of the young woman be- low stairs. "I ` caught a glimpse of her on the street the other day," remarked the visi- tor. "Quite lady -like and very good looking." "Yes," replied the colonel, "and she is as good as she is beautiful Why, she will not even receive any company." The visitor smiled at this. "Doesn't receive any company? 1 think I could convince you to the con- trary." A bet of quite formidable proportions was the outcome of this conversation. To decide it the two gentlemen, much to the amusement of the wife and daughters, decided to keep watch in the grounds to see whether the pretty Sarah did or did not receive a young man, as the visitor so persistently contended. So the two gentlemen, buttoned up to the ehin in topcoats, began their vigil. It was a bitterly cold night. They were about to give it up when a side gate open- ed and the next moment they found themselves confronted by agood-looking young man. "Well," said the colonel, "who are you? Are you going to see any of the servants ?" The young man admitted he was. "1 suppose you have come a -courting ?" inquired the old soldier in his bloat, old- fashioned way. "That's the fact, colonel," replied the. young man, not the least abashed. "And may I ask, sir, to whom. you are paying your addresses ?" "To your cook Sarah," was the reply. "Indeed !" said the colonel, who was somewhat taken aback by the young - man's coolness. "I thought you might be after one of my daughters." "No, colonel," said the stranger. "I didn't think of that, but if you have any- thing better upstairs to offer me, 1 don't mind stepping along with you." The nineteen, forty-nine and nirtety- nine'oent marks on many articles of mer- chandise have led certain investigators to demand a nine -cent coin, It is said ie. defence of this idea that it would greatly facilitate making change and save shopkeepers a groat deal of time, Thera is some reason to think that a cer• twin class of shopkeepers would not ex- hibib any great degree of enthusiasm on this point, as there are many persMns who will sacrifice ,the one cent rather than wait, and this is clear profit. But be this as it may, it is stated that the nine- cent piece is sure to come, The de- mand for paper fractional currency is becoming emphatic is in certain quarters, and it may be possible that with this cif- culating medium there will be odd -main- ber iccee, all of which. will be of great use 1a the almost universal p raetieo of shopping by trial[. • If we know how to aim, the bigger' the giant the better the mark, Mr. Conmee said the hon, gentleman could not find maladministration in the acts of this Government. It was an easy thing to rise in one's place in this House and make empty charges, as the hon. member had done.. The hon. member had criticized the Government for its es- tablishment of a dairy farm in Algoma. One of the chief planks of the Opposition in Algoma was that the Government was not doing enough for the Algoma district, They said that nothing was being done to settle that country, while the fact was that thousands were going into the coun- try. In fact it had even been charged that it was being settled too fast, Con- tinuing, the hon. member defended in vigorous terms the appropriations made for mining last year, saying that a devel- opment of the mining industry was in the highest int:twe a VI. cues province, and that it was a pity that any hon. member could be found who would criticise an expenditure so manifestly beneficial. Mr. Oontneo then dealt with the compar- ative records of the Dominion and Onta- rio Governments, especially in their tim- ber policies, by which he claimed the Lo- cal Government had saved many thou- sands of dollars. He concluded by rally - Mg. the Opposition upon the futility of their attacks upon the record of the Gov- eminent. nio For of Exact Amount. g A u Little Robbie—Papa, what did Cain strike Abel .for ? Sunday school superintendent (absent• inincledl +j i --I- oh,1 forgot for just how much, Probably $5, Alias Spades. Tack—What's an irridescent dream? Tom—It's an opalescent phantasy. 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