The Exeter Advocate, 1894-8-2, Page 3SABBATH READING.
i TRRENT RELIGIOUS ',PALE .
rite kind Ingo Selections of the Ablest
Alen of the Day on Morality and Re-
]igion for Rome Reading.
The Poor Ulan's Sheaf.
I saw the wheat fields waiting
All golden in the son,
And strong and stalwart reapers
Went by him one by one.
" Oh, eculcl 1 reap in harvest i"
His heart made bitter cry.
"I can do nothing, nothing,
So weak, alas, am 1,"
-At eve a fainting traveller
Sank down beside his door
A. cup of cool, sweet water
To quench his thirst he bore.
And when refreshed and strengthened
The traveller went his way,
'Upon the poor man's threshold
A golden wheat sheaf lay,
"When came the Lord of harvest
lYe cried:" Oh, Master kind,
One sheaf I havo to offer,
Bat that I did not bind.
I.gave a cup of water
To athirst, said he
Left at my door, in going,
This sheaf I offer thee.",
'Then said themastor softly :
• "Well pleased with thee am I.
One of my angels left It
With then as be was passing by.
Thou mayst not join the reapsrs
Upon the harvest plain,
Bat he who helps a brother
Binds sheaves of richest grain."
For Those Who Suffer.
Very often there is scarcely breathing -
time • between troubles that coneone
after the other, like waves beating down
gra struggling swimmer. Or there are re-
peated attacks of physical agony, almost
unendurable, which cast long dark
shadows behind as well as before thein.
'Or there is life-long affliction and in-
capacity—bereavement, disappointment,
loss, There may be overwhelming un-
merited disgrace, or the bitter grief caus-
ed by the sins of those near and dear.
Nights of wakefulness and tears ; days of
darkness and distress ; waters of a full
cup wrung out for the breaking hearts,
the racked frames, the shrinking souls of
'God's dear children. Tronbles such as
these make life at times a burden hard to
be borne'; they rob it seemingly of its
usefulness, certainly of all that made it
bright.
"'Lord, save nie from this hour !" is our
,cry ;• but deliverance does not come, and
the cry dies into a faint echo of that wail
.from the cross, "My God, why hast Thou
forsaken me ?"
Sometimes the faithless soul. is ready to
despair—ready to believe that God has
forgotten to be gracious.
Is it not true that when we ask for
great gifts and graces we generally ex-
pect
spect them to be bestowed in some mys-
terious, but quite painless way ? We
ask to be made holy in body and soul,
to love Jesus as well as ever any of His
saints loved Him, to be greatly used by
Rim in bringing others to the cross, and
we expect that somehow or other the de-
-sired grace will increase within us, while
our enjoyment of lesser gifts — love,
health, reputation and the like -will
still remain, or even be increased. also.
We forget that it is enough for the
disciple to be his Lord, and that He was
"perfect through sufferings."
If we will be very near His heart, we
must be prepared to feel something of the
pang that broke that heart.
Shall we, then, ehoose,to be contented
with a lower degree of grace, if haply
more of earthly happiness may be ours ?
Content with less main and less nearness
to our Lord ? A lighter cross here, a
paler crown there ? Surely not; oh, sure-
ly not !
Let us covet earnestly the best gifts.
Let us unceasingly pray for them. Only
let us also bo ready to take up the cross,
and, if need be, to die upon it.
Watch with your dear Lord, then, in
'Gethsemane for the one hour of this life ;
weep with Him, agonize with Him ; the
angel of His Presence is at hand to
strengthen. you.
Carry the cross with Him along the
Way of Sorrows ; He will bear the heavi-
est end of it.
Wear with Him your glorious crown of
thorns ; you shall. rest your aching head
upon His breast very soon in the green
pastures of perfect peace, beside the still
waters of His most sweet, most blessed
consolations.
" Be thou faithful unto death and I
will give thee a crown of life."
Alleluia! The Lord God Omnipotent
•reigneth ! Let everything rejoice and be
•exceeding glad ! Jesus has gone. The
Holy Ghost is here; and Jesus is coming,
spon coming to round up the age, and
gather in his people. Alleluia !
The results of sin are sure. Did you
never cut yourself unexpectedly and
-quickly? It took days and weeks to heal
the wound, and the scar remained al-
ways. Lord Brougham one day occupied
a conspicuous place in a group to have
.his photograph taken, but at an unfor-
tunate momeni he moved, The picture
was taken, but his face was blurred. It
takes a lifetime to build a reputation, and
only one moment to destroy it.
Consecration is the first step in a real
Christianity. In Rome there stands the
Pantheon. It used to be a temple for
all the gods. Round its circular sides
were niches, in which were placed images
of the various deities worshipped by the
various nations which Rome had con-
quered. That temple was a place of
wedded. worships. When adherents to
the Lord Jesus
began to start ruiners of
•.the new religion, the Roman Senate
passed a decree consecrating a niche in.
this temple of all the gods to him. But
Christ enters no Pantheon. The whole
must be His, or He will have atone of it,
Said Paul, "1 am the slave of Christ."
No, less word than that can express the.
depth and fullness and thoroughness of
the conseeration Christ demands.
Said Anne of Austria, the Queen, of
France, to her implanable energy, Cardi-
nal Richelieu, "My lord cardinal, there
is one fact whieh you seem entirely to
have, forgotten. God is a sure paymaster.
He may nob pay at the end of every week
or month or year, but I charge you, re-
raember that he pays in the end."
God speaks to us through his word.
The ancient Greek had one sentence
which they believed came down from
heaven, and to show their esteem for the
gift they caused it to be engraved in tot-
ters of gold on the front of their most
sacred temple. We have not the sen
tense only, but a whole volume.
A, fine artist kept always onf his table
precious stones of bright colors. His
reason was that working in colors so con-
stantly corrupted his eye insensibly, and
he needed the constant company of stand-
ard colors to keep his eye pure. So shall
we become conformed to this world if we
do not keep company with the perfect
will of God expressed in his word
Spiritual pride shut out the Jews from
Christ's kingdom. The Pharisee who
went up to the temple to pray was a re-
ligious man, a strictly just and moral
man. His spiritual pride alone kept him
from Christ's benediction, which the
poor publican received instead. To -day
spiritualpride sets creeds and organiza-
tions above charity—love to God and
love to man.
We who have reached serener years,
whose eyes are not now dazzled by the
glamor of life, havo the holy privilege of
praying for those who are still passing
through their exciting and possibly peril-
ous youth, and who need a guardian help
which they may forget to ask for them-
selves. And we can ask for them a for-
giveness which they, quite unconsciously
to themselves, may need.
"Bless them which perseiiute you,"
never found utterance in any oriental or
other non-Christian. mind; but it is more
than a sentiment in the oriental Chris-
tian church. Lung Seng -Ki, a steward
in the Methodist church at Hung -ting,
China, was waylaid and led to a temple,
his hands tied behind him with a cord ; a
rope was attached to this cord and passed
over a beam, by which he was drawn up
a foot or more from the ground, and sus-
pended in excruciating torture for an
hour. He prayed aloud for his perseeu
tors. They continued to demand money.
He said, "If you want my little property,
take it; if you want my life, that, too,
is in your power." They did take all he
had. The missionary says he saw him a
month afterward, happy in the love of
Jesus, with no word of bitterness for his
persecutors. He still prayed for them.
There are few things of more interest
than the diversity in the sacrificial offer-
ings of mankind. Cain and Abel but
symbolize the parting of the true and
false in worship. To -day the Siamese
fancies thdpidol loves the steam of the in-
cense of his intoxicating arrack and rice
steaming hot. The Buddhist offers boiled
rice, sweetmeats or cocoanut fried in oil.
The Vedic sacrifice, Agnishtoma, required
that the fleshy parts of animals should be
committed to the gods byfire. The Mon-
golians seg the heart of the beast before
the god until the next day, Among the
indigenous Indian tribes in the Garro
hills the head and blood of the animal,
with rice, is placed under a bamboo arch,
covered with a white cloth. The Khond
made an offering to the earth goddess,
tearing the flesh of the human victim
from the bones, the priests burying half
of it in a hole in the earth behind his
back without looking around, and each
householder carrying off a particle to
bury in his own field, He thinks the
deity lives on the essence and flavor of
the animals he offers, and hence he causes
them to disappear. The modern Chinese
uses joss sticks and censer, and beasts,
silks and other precious articles are burn-
ed that their vapor may go to the hea-
venly spirits. Even the Moslems, on
their return ;from Mecca, sacrifice in the
valley of Munn, and give away the vic-
tim. An interesting phase of the whole
system of sacrificing is that of making
typical offerings, such as that of Cain and
Abel were, The Brahmans of India
sometimes sacrifice models of animals
made of meal and butter, to represent the
real victim, A fowl is offered in Ceylon
as a substitute for the person in case of
sickness. A ease is given of the hair of
a sick man in Malabar being cut off and
nailed fast and left as a substitute for
himself. In ancient Egypt illustration of
this ex voto worship, a part for the whole,
was seen in the offering in the temples of
models of faces, breasts and hands of
metal. According to Haug, the Parsee,
in the ceremony of Izoshne, killed no ani-
mal, but placed the hair of an ox in a
vessel and showed it to fire, the sacred
element, The IChonds of India are now
prohibited by the British Government
from offering human beings in sacrifice,
and say there was a time when the earth
goddess wanted human sacrifices, but the
light god crushed them under a moun-
tain, dragged out a bttf ale, and said
" Liberate the anan and sacrifice the buf-
Palo."
Bowaro of answering " personals."
What seems sport may, torn out very dis-
astrously.
I ISCELLANEOUS RE.t.DING
GRAVE AS WELL AS GAY.
Old and Young will find these Selections
Interesting andProfitable as they are
Oarefaily Seteeted.
The Sant of Living..
If you have a friend worth loving,
:Love him, Yes, and let him know
That you love him, ere life's evening
Tinge his brow with sunset glow.
Why should good word eo'er be said
Of a friend -411111e is dealt ?
If you hear a song that thrills you,
Sang by any.child of song,
Praise it. Do not let the singer
Wait deserved fraises long,
Why should one who thrills your heart
Lack the joy you may impart.
If you hear a prayer that moves you
By its humble, leading tone,
Joirt it. Do not let the seeker
Bow before God alone.
Why should not your brother share
The strengta of "two or three" in prayer ?
If you see the hot tears falling
Pion). a brother's weeping eyes,
Share them, And by kindly sharing,
Own your kinship with the skies.
Why should anyone be glad
When a brother's heart is sad ?
If a silvery laugh goes rippling
Through the sunshine on Ins face,
• Share it. 'Tis the wise man's 'saying.—
For both grief and joy a place.
There's health and goodness in the mirth
In which an honest lenge has birth.
If_yyour .work is made more easy
13y a friendly, helping hand
Say so. Speak out brave ancltruly,
Bre the darkness veil the land.
Should a brother workman dear
Falter for a word of cheer ?
Scatter thus your seeds of kindness,
All enriclunn as you go—
Leave them, QTrust the Harvest Giver,
He will make each seed to grow.
So, until its happy end,
You shall never lack a friend.
He is a Regular Customer.
"Talking of pawnbrokers, there is cue
man in this city who at certain times
has all his possessions in the grip of the
fraternity. He has a gold medal given
him for brave conduct in his native city
of London, where he rescued women and
children, at a fire, and three-fourths of
the time it reposes in the pawnbroker's
safe. It is usually pawned for fifty Dents
to get a drink. The first mosey that
comes in goes to redeem it, but there
soon comes a day when there are no
funds, and a drink must be had. Back
itg. es, this time not to be redeemed for
some months. The owner is a genial
character, and always welcome in bibu-
lous circles, Some one will ask him
about the sear on his face, and he tells
the story of the fire.
"I'll show youthe gold medal the hu-
mane society gave me, boys," and he
thrusts his hand deep into his pocket,
first into one, Hien into the other.
"Gone! Good heavens -oh, I remem-
ter, boys, it's too bad, but my uncle has
Then comes a fine bit of acting of a
pathetic sort, and there is always a softy
to ask to look at the pawn ticket, and
who runs off with it, to return presently
with the medal, which its owner receives
as if it . were the prodigal son. Then
more drinks, and the grateful nephew of
his uncle sings them a lot of jolly songs,
and is the hero of the house.
The Little Girl and the Yellow Dog.
A. strayed or lost yellow dog, tired out
and discouraged, had crowded itself into
a niche between a pillar and the door of
a leading dry goods store, as a lady step-
ped past from her carriage. She led a
little girl by the hand, who stopped short
at seeing the dog. Her instinct told her
that it was lost.
"Oh, mamma," she chirped, "he's a
poor little lost dog ! Do let me take him?
Hasn't you got anybody to love you, lit-
tle bow -wow?"
"Let that horrid dog alone; he will
bite you," said the mother, trying to
drag the child away.
"No, he won't, mamma; see his tail go,
and he's laughing, too. Oh, do let me
have him."
Before her mother could prevent it the
child was on her knees, and her little
arms were around the neck of the lost
dog, who was licking her cheek with the
greatest affection.
But a clerk who had seen the perform-
ance came to the assistance of the mo-
ther. He kicked the dog, which ran off
ki-yi-ing, and the child followed her
mother into the store.
"He was such a nice bow -wow," she
sobbed, giving her small foot a vigorous
stamp, "and it was just the other day you
—said—you—loved—yeller."
A Gaiistuo .i.iceaeaNewsboy,
A lady passing along the street saw
that both of her shoes had come untied,
and she stopped near a group of newsboys
and beckoned one to approach.
"Kneel down," she said, "so that I can
put my foot on your knee. Now, tie my
shoelace, please."
The boy did as directed, but he was in -
dined to be conversational and remarked:
" 'Tain't no wonder they came undid.
That air wuz a granny's knot. They
won't come undid when I tie them, you
bet, ma'am."
"But how do you tie them?"
""'Tain't no bow knot.. I jist put one
over bother like this, and tother under
like that, and there you aro, ma'am."
"And here is ten cents, and, thank
you."
"You can keep the chink, ma'am,"
"But why—I would rather pay you."
"No'm. You see, tother kids see you
call me an' they thinks yer a frier d. It's
worth more'n ten cents that way."
The woman walked away smilingover
that democratic attempt at an acquaint-
ance.
Why Does She Always Do It ei
"Did you ever notice a woman mailing
letters?" asked a postman who was talk-
ing to an acquaintance on the street car.
"Well, I don't caro who she is, whether
she's your wife or mother, she'II go up to
a mailbox just as if it was an infernal
machine, look all around, and drop that
letter in as if she wouldn't have anybody
see her for the world. That's why some
mon will always step up and offer to help
her; he thinks she wants assistance. It's
the same- if a woman hams a latter to a
postman—she acts as if she hates to have
it go out of her hands,"
"How do you account for it?"
"I don't try to account for it. It's like
the way most women pay their car faro
—as if they were most surprised to death
at having to pay it at all, and then hang-
ing on to it, till the conductor drags it
away. I guess it may be for the reason
that girls aren't raised like boys to do
things offhand in a business way. But
it's so, anyway."
An invalid, an elderly person • or a
lady must bo given the most comfortable
chair in the room, and must be allowed
to select the light and temperature.
a•eifeeeeseeeeeee'
A Boy and Rio '(Posit.
The boy came briskly into the office,
doted his cap and 'bowedto the boss..
"I understand you want a boy, sir;" he
said.
" Zes, we have a vacancy,"
i"Can I fill it 2"
"Can you ? What sort of a place do
you want?"
"Where there's as little work and as
much pay as the house .can. stand."
"Um, most boys when they eome are
willing to take all work and no pay."
"I'm not most boys."
"Oh, you're not? You are pretty fresh,
aren't you ?"
"Yes, sir ; but I know it, and I'm get-
ting cured."
"Do you expect toob
j
et the kind of a
you want ?" g
"No, sir; nobody gets what he wants,
exaetly, but it doesn't hurt him to expect
a good deal."
"What pay do you think you should
have?"
"Three dollars per week."
"The other boys we have had only got
two."
"How many have you had in the last
year ?'r
"Eight or ten."
"I thought so. That's the kind of a
boy a two dollar boy is."
'And are you not that kind?"
"No, sir ; if I come, I hang up my hat
and stay."
"Suppose you don't like it?"
"'tI'll stay just the same."
"Suppose we bounce you ?"
"I'11 be glad of it, sir."
"Glad of it ?"
" Yes, sir ; if the house isn't satisfied
with the right kind of a' boy, it isn't the
right kind of a house for the right kind
of a boy to be in."
The employer took a second look at the
boy.
"Um," he said, "willyou say that
again ?"
"No, sir; it's time I was going to work
if I'm going to work, and if I'm not, it's
time I left. Do I go in or out ?" and the
boss with much doubt in his mind said
"In," and the boy went in with a will.
The Rice Paper Tree in Florida.
The rice paper tree one of the most in-
teresting of the entire flora of China, has
recently been successfully experimented
with in Florida, where it now flourishes
with other subtropical and oriental spe-
cies of trees and shrubs. When first
transplanted in American soil, the ex-
perimenters expressed doubts of its hardi-
ness, fearing that it would be unable to
withstand the winters. All 'these fears
have vanished, however, and it is now
the universal opinion that it is equally
as well adapted to the climate of this
country as to that of the famed flowery
Kingdom.
It is a small tree, growing to a height
of less than fifteen feet, and with a trunk
or stem from three to fifteen inches in
diameter. Its canes, which vary in color
according to the season, are large, soft
and downy, the form somewhat resem-
bling that noticed in those of the castor -
bean plant.
The celebrated rice paper, the product
of this queer tree, is formed of thin slices
of the pith, which is taken from the body
of the tree in beautiful cylinders several
inches in length.
The Chinese workmen apply the blade
of a sharp, straight knife, to those cylin-
ders, and, turning them around, either
by rude machinery or by hand (in which
latter operation they display much skill
and dexterity), pare the pith from cir-
cumference to center. This operation
makes a roll of extra quality paper, it is
unrolled and weights placed upon it until
the surface is rendered uniformly smooth
throughout its entire length. It is alto-
gether probable that if rice paper making
becomes an industry in the United States
these primitive methods of manufacture
will be done away with.
In Confidence.
" What I am going to ask you is in
strict confidence,' r he said to a conductor
on a Grand River avenue car two or three
days ago.
"Yes, of course."
" You have to git a license to be mar-
ried in this town, don't you?"
"Yesor anywhere else in Michigan."
"So I've heard, but don't you say that
I asked you about it. Hey to get it of
the county clerk, don't you?"
Yes."
" I thought so, but mum is the word,
yon know. Don't you give me away, and
I won't give you away. Is there any
limit as to age?"
" No limit,"
" Wall, keep awful quiet about it. Kin
a feller of sixty-three git a license to
marry a galsof nineteen ?"
" I expect he can."
" That's beautiful, but don't you
whisper a word to anyone about it. Do
you pass the city hall ?"
" We do.
" Wall, when we gib to the city hall
you tip me the wink and Igmme off, and
if any of the passengers aura out and
want to know my bizness you tell 'em
I've gone in to see about a stray hoss.
Strict confidence—keep mum -0. K. !
Msbbe I'll see you onmy bridle tower and
flip you a cigar."
Historian Grote's Timidity.
Mr. Grote, the historian of Greece,
seamed incapable of caring for himself
when moved by consideration for others.
His exaggerated acquiescence in what he
thought a constructive obligation is il-
lustrated by the last sitting he gave to
Millais, who painted his portrait.
The studio was cold, Mr. Grote had
removed his overcoat, and presently felt
sensibly chilled. Yet he did not com-
plain nor resume his overcoat.
" Why did you not say you were chill-
ed ?" asked Mrs. Grote when she learned
the circumstances.
" I did not like to appear to reproaeh
Mr. Millais for letting the fire go out."
" Well, but there was your thick over-
coat."
" Yes, bat I did not know if he would
Like me to put it on."
" What could one do with a man so in-
capable of caring for his own absolute
necessities ?" remarks Mrs. Grote in her
"Personal Life" of her husband. "Had
I been present it is superfluous to say all
these scruples would have gone for noth-
ing."
Broken China.
Broken china may bo mended by mak-
ing. a light paste of the white of an egg
and flour, cleaning the broken edges from
dust, spreading them with the paste and
holding the parts together while wet.
Wipe off all that oozes out. It must be
held or fastened in position until dry. A
colorless cement is made by dissolving a
half ounee of gum arabic in a wine glass
of boiling - wate adding
i a din plaster of Paris
g r
to form a thick paste. U'se ab °nee, ap-
plying with a thibk brush.
THEY i3'A.l? 11Ib VinticrE.
Mark Twain's 0/lends ,Asked forr
.tut graph in Wholesale, Late,
A number of Mark's friends who li
been victimized at various times reaoly
to give him an unhappy quarter ho11r
one April fool's day. George W. Cabl
knowing Mark had a spoeial horror
the Chronic autograph collector, arrange
with a couple of hundred well -know
peopple to eome down en hhimsirnultann
ously for a speeinten of his handwriti
Some of the demands wore very funny
Edmund Clarence Stedman's letter was
good burlesque of the average' schoo
girl's: Many of the words were and
scored. and dr..Clemens was tickled wit
sueh phrases as "my favorite America
author," "your well-known kindness,::
etc. Mr. Stedman not only solicited dif
ferent kinds of signatures, but wanted
Sentiment in Mark's handwriting, or
few pages from "Roughing It," "Th
Prince Abroad," or ""The Innocents an
the Pauper." Sohn Hay wrote fro
Cleveland, asking Mark to take a leis=
hour or two and copy for him a few bun
drod lines of "Young's Night Thoughts,'
and an equal amount trotrona.Pollock'
"'Course of Time." Thomas. W. Knox'
request came from the Lotus Club. H
had a royal Commission from the king o
Siam, he said, for autographs for th
king's 258 children, but begged to sag
gest that the order be filledfor 800, as th
king's family was increasing. Stephe
Fiske wanted a Mark Twain autograp
fora friend who was going abreact an
wished to take it along as a mascot, an
Mrs. Fiske modestly spelled the nam
"Clements," and solicited 160 autograph
for a church fair booth.
H. 0. Bonner, of Puck, wanted a
autograph for his two -weeks -old grand
daughter, adding : "The little innocen
abroad in this strange world of ours wil
value your gift when she is old enough
to appreciate it." Joe Howard, jr., re
called meeting Mr. Clemens twenty-foiir
years before in front of the New York
city hall, and applied for an autograph
on that ground. 0. C. Buel, of The Cen-
tury, wanted a humorous article for pub-
lication with Mr. Clemens' signature
attached to every paragraph, so that the
"copy" could be sold to advantage ; while
Robert Underwood Johnson applied by
postal card as follows : "'Could you let
me have an autograph for a lame boy
whose mother has interested him in
things spiritual by encouraging him to
make an autograph collection to be raf-
fled for at a fair; the proceeds to go to
the Society for the Suppression of Toy
Pistols 2"
Mark gave his persecutors something
of a fright in return. He published an
interview in which he stated that he in-
tended to make up a pamphlet of their
letters, with various humorous and sati-
rical annotations of his own, have it
illustrated, and issue it in suitable form
for sale at the news stands and on rail-
road trains. The profits, he declared, he
should pocket entirely himself ; and if
he found, when the book was ready for
the printer, that it did not seem sensa-
tional enough to catch. the public fancy,
he would enlarge it by the addition of a
lot of private letters he had received
from time to time from these ladies and
gentlemen, dressed up with emendations
from his own pen which would make
them more spicy. He never carried out
his threat, however.
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Wants to See That "Other Man."
He is an "artist in black eyes"—not a
pugilist, as some might imagine, but a
clever old fellow who so fixes up discol-
ored optics that they can be detected
only by careful observation. He is some-
thing of a philosopher, but the other
night he was so disgusted with the pride
and vanity of mankind in general that
to relieve his tired feelings he indulged
in a little spree.
A friend found him late in the evening
much the worse for wear, and surprised
at his unusual condition, inquired what
was the meaning of it.
"Well," said the other, with slight in-
coherence, "I've been looking for that
other man."
•'What do you mean by that ?"
"Mean? Only this. Every time a man
comes to me to have a black eye fixed up
he tolls me that I ought to see the other
man. I've heard that a thousand times,
and to -night I made up my mind I'd have
a look at him and see what he looks like.
But I haven't found him yet. I've seen
three men with black eyes, but every
one of them gave ine the same story, I'd
'ought to see the other man.' "
The Sign of the Three Balls.
"I'll bet," said the man who stood with
the feat of the crowd watching a pawn-
broker's sign being put in place. "that
none of you fellers who think you know
so much can tell me what those three
balls mean, and how the eastern of that
sign originated."
"Suppose you tell us about it," jeered
one ol the crowd.
"Don't know it myself. Never saw a
pawnbroker who could tell what it
meant, only that it is always used as a
sign."
"It was used by the first pawnbroker,"
said the owner of the sign, taking a part
in the discussion; "they were a family
of moneylenders in England; that is
traditional; and that is all we lniow."
"It's a good sign," said another one,
going inside, wherell() was lost to sight.
Lost a Small Fortune.
There was quite a crowd around a coal -
hole in the sidewalk, and it was soon
learned that a lady who was passing had
stepped into the uncovered hole, and they.
were getting her out. She was not hurt
in the least, but rather frightened and
dusty. A male relative who accompanied
her was executing a series of gymnastics
around her.
"Sure you're not hurt, Addie?" he
asked anxiously.
"Not e. bit, Richard."
"No sprains or broken bones?"
"Not one, You see, I was caught by a
man who was passing and that saved me
from being hurt.
"Where is the officious wretch?'
"Richard, he is my deliverer 11'
"Deliverer nothing! If you had just
broken one little bone wecould have sued
the city and recovered $10,000 damages."
"
How to Prevent Divorce.
They were talking about divorce and
the evil it has grown to be through the
laxity of the laws in certain Western
States.
" It should be destroyed utterly should
divorce,' said Maj. Brayne, a confirmed
old bachelor; "But there is only one
way to do it, and that is to strike at the
root of the evil."
" Which is where ?" asked the colonel.
" In marriage," answered the major.
'ciltake marriage a criminal offenes; pro-
hibit it and divorce becomes impossible:
The IBrido's Dot.
It youVro,aouueo It right, you'll not
Pronounce as `'dough' the arreneia worn "dot,'"
Yet, notwithstanding this, we ktiow
There is no dot without the "dough,"
Greatness.
"What makes a great man great ?" you ask ;
The answer comes at call;
He isn't great so much es. that
The other men are small
EVERY INCH A Dli7IIlrl.
Re Looked Like a Noblemen and Fre
Rad the Necessary Title.
On the blue velvet eushions of the Gar+,
rime roelined an old man, with a snow-
white imperial and mustaehe. He was
heavy of face and figure, and from bei
neath drooping eyelids lusterless eyes
looked out as if upon a world in which he
had seen nothing except satiety. Hier
forehead was high, his nose aquiline
and his whole air one of aristocratic re.
pose,
"It was a strong face and one to be re.,
membered. loan see it now rising through
the mists of memory above those of kings
and •princes. As the carriage swept by
and was lost in the throng of the crowded
Corso, I asked my driver, " Who was,
that?" "The Duke de la —," he
answered. It was an ancient name, long
known in Itaty, and I speculated, as I
drove up and down, upon what that man
might have accomplished had he not been
born a duke.
" That night at the Hotel de France I
remarked that I had seen the duke that
day in the Corso, for his strong face was
in my mind. The eocapany, two or three
of the old Sicilians and an Englishman,
long resident, laughed,: and one said:
" Oh, yes, as clever a man as you would
wantto meet exetpt for his dukedom.'
" `How is that?"
" `Why, he was a poor peasant boy who
worked like fits, and finally made a for-
tune by inventing a new kind of chewing
gum. He put his money in railroad con-
tracts, and made mons. Then he bought
the De la — estate, and in those days
the title went with the estate, so he is the
duke, as you see him. The last of the
De la —'s have long since slept in the
family sepulchre, but for energy and
ability I will match this chewing -gum
man against any one of them that ever
lived.
THE SAPID GIRL.
Just Returned With His Bride and Meets
a Sympathetic Old Friend,
" , Jack, old boy ! Haven't met
you in a month."
" No ; I just returned from the country
with any bride."
"Really ? Shako ; my congratulations.
Come—I'll open a small bottle in her
honor. She wasn't a Squedunk girl,
where we summered last year, was she?"
"Exactly. You left in July; Ilost my
heart in August."
" Ah, you old rascal ! Well here's to
the bride ! Drink hearty. Great town,
that Squedunk ; full of awfully jolly girls ;
some of them great flirts, too."
" Ah ?"
"At least, I found them so. I had no
end of fiancees, so to speak, some-
times meeting two or three on the
same evening by appointment. It was
great sport. You see, a man has to go
a long way around among so many girls
at a summer resort. But they were
charmers—no mistake."
" Yes, I found them so."
"Ani so deuced sentimental, too, by
Tavel I remember ons in particular—a
hazel -eyed blonde, with a bewitching air.
Gad ! She would actually hug herself
into hysterics. And such kisses—waow l
We used to wander over the lonely moun-
tain. paths by moonlight until midnight.
A dear girl, too; forgotten her name.
Guess you didn't meet her. Let me see
—it was Lottie some—body—"
"Not Lottie Huggus ?"
" That's the girl—the very same, by
Jove ?"
"She's upstairs now."
"Gad, you don't say !"
"Fact 1 She's on her honeymoon."
Waow—Who's the poor devil ?"
" I am."
Row the Contest Enclecl.
" I'll pay the fare of both, conductor,"
said one of two female passengers in a
cable car as that functionary made his
rounds.
" Indeed you won' t Sue," said the other?.
as she opened her handbag, and began to
look for her purse.
"I think I have the exact change,"
said the one who had first spoken.
""I know I have, if I can just get at my ..
purse, for I put it in. just before I left the
house,"
" And I'm sure I have half a dollar, for
I got it in change not ten minutes ago at
the confectionery store."
" That reminds me, clear, your treated
me to chocolate soda there, so I must in-
sist on paving your fare this time."
"Indeed, I won't listen to it. The very
last time we rode together, I remem-
ber distinctly, that you paid mine."
"I don't believe I did. I think that
was the time before the last, while you
paid mine the last lime."
At this juncture one of them found a
dime and the other produced half a dol-
lar, each abjuring the conductor not to
accept the fare from the other. The poor
man was bewildered, but a passenger who
had not paid his fare broke in with °
" If you two ladies are very anxious
to pay some one's fare, one of you can
pay mine."
$oth glared icily at the interrupter, and
the conductor improved the opportunity
to collect a faro from each and pass on
down the car.
Patent Leather Dressing.
As patent leather shoes, even of the
best quality, are liable to crack, and the
shoe dealers will not be responsible for
them, it is well to know how to doctor
thein a little for yourself. In the first
place, keep them wrapped in cotton bat-
ting and the inside filled with soft paper
or cotton. If necessary to wear them on
a very cold night, put them on in the
dressing -room after arriving, if possible.
To keep the leather soft, rub it occasion-
ally with a little sweet oil, rubbing it in
as much as possible, and then wipe the
shoes thoroughly with chamois. If the
glaze is cracked, buy or snake a good var-
nish and keep the shoes dressed with it.
A good varnish is made from a quarter
of a pound of powdered gum -arabic and
two ounces of logwood. Cover with a
pint of claret and simmer very slowly a
quarter of an hour, Strain, bottle and
label, Apply with the tip of the fingers,
or with a soft blaek flannel, Before using
see that the shoes are free from dust or
any old coat of varnish. Dry thoroughly
in a place where there isno dust. Post-
pone the day of using patent dressings
on shoes as long as possible. It may be
used on the heels and sides of the soles
with much less injury than when applied
to the other parts of the shoes. Keep
those clean and rub occasionally with.
vasoline or castor oil.