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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1891-1-8, Page 7Christmas. 'That Christmas time had come again was vary plain to 80o, 'TWas glassed in every feats you passed and writteu legtblY • In restless, clanelug, raelrY g'ant3e c)f 1°InP10g girle aud hove; It was arson in the show-windowe oramoned ull O f pretty toys. You cold feel it in collapsing puree ; 'twits present everywhere. Could fancy that you heard the limn of Chrlet- nuts in the air, And ecu the aecient CbrIstnatte fowl (of coming deem well wet— Pieturing himself with legs upraised) now drop- ped his tweet strut. In whisperines and furtive Welts abundant proof there was; The prevailing epidemic was due to Santa Claus,' Seated beside the dying hre alone on Christmas eve, ' sought from busy cares of life to got a brief reprieve; With the help of a Havana a passing joy to win, In shadowy castles reared of smoke by chasing hopes therein. Wife and she s'oepy children had long since gone to boil, The rosiest VitliOLIS ewimming in each trustful .urchnes head, ,01 what upon tam morrow their stockings would reveal: Beside the ere they hung a -row, to my purse a mute appeal. I was pufaug ; remin'scont of the bygone merry days, And pigyuisa,,ng myself at last among the 'silver g And (sequence natural to the ease) at last I fell asleep— A sort of "cat -nap," waking doze; when brain cloth vigil keep While it speeds iu course erratic through the lotus laud of slumber. And tangles warp aud wad of sense iv visions Withont number. Perhaps I dreatned (no this as may), but there, before nw eyes, Appeared a being robed hi white, as if from Paradcse, And yet not all ethereal ; of fair proportions she, ,Of gentie mini and pleasing glance of eyes she turned to me. or hair in waves hung down her back—Usa long and beautifut, Environtng in softest folds her neck, a3 would a frill. .A world of love bes.mod in those eyes of the serenest light, And a was sure an angel was revealed unto my sight. An angol very practical, as presently she proved ,(Thongh wanting wi6gs); she straight toward the children's eteeeings moved. In either hand she b.re a loaa of prettiest of toys; .She seemed to know precisely what would suit my girls and boys. But how she crammed those tope all in the stockings, I leos't know, Yet in thoy went with great dispatch—a .quite inviting show. Now, 'tis certain that Saint Nicholas is the only proper source Whence children get their Christmas thiugs —he was qiiite old, of course ,(He was known in the Justiulan age ; hundreds of years age) !lie" rheumatics" must " distress" him in the Z000 of Ice and snow, Ais it is hard to got abort, be presents gives by proxy ; And this angel was his deputy; to doubt wore heterodoxy 'Thus logically I reasoned; whento me that angel seed, .As she tapped uie on the dexter cheek, "Come John; do go to bed." The Two Little Stockings. Two little stockings hung side by side, Close to the Ilrepl,co, broad and wide. " Two?' said Saint Nick, as down he came, Loaded with toys and many a game. Ho ho 1" said be, with a laugh of fun, • 0111 have no cheating, my pretty one ; a know who dwells in this house, my dear; There's only one little girl lives here." .So be crept up close to the chim ey-place And measured a sock with a sober face. •just then a wee UWe nobe foil out And fluttered low, like a bird about. " Aha what's this ?" said he in surprise, .As he pushed his specs close up to his eyes And read the address, in a child's rough plan " Dear Saint Nicholas," BO it began, " Tho other st )cking you see on the wall I have hung for a child named Clare, Hall She's e poor little girl, but very good; So I thought perhaps, you kindly would Fill up her stocking, too, tomight, And help to make her Christmas bright. If you've not enough for both stockings there Please put all n Clara's ; I shall nos care." Saint Nicht brushed a tear from his eyo, " God bless you, darlieg," he said with a sigh. 'Men softly ho blew through the chimney nigh A note like a bird's when it soars on high. When down came two of the funniest mortals 'That over were seen this side earth's portals, Hurry up ! said Saint Nick, "and nicely prepare All a little girl wants whrsre money. is rare." Then, oh, what a scene there was in that room Away wont the elves, but down from the gloom ,Of the s io,y old chimney comes tumbling low A child',3 wale wardrobe from head to toe. How Santa Claus laughed as he gathered them in And fastened each oue to the sock with a pin I Right to the toe he hung a blue dress, " She'll think it came irom the sky, I guess," .Said Saint Nicholas, smoothiug the folds of blue And tying the bood to the stoeking, too. When all the warm clothes were fastened on. And both little socks were filled and done, "Than Santa Claus tucked a toy hero and there And hurried away to the frosty air, Saying" God pity the poor and bless the dear child "Who pities them too on this night no wild!" "The wind c•iight the words and bore them on high -Till they died awa,y in the midnight sky, While Saint Nieholae flew through the icy air, Bringing " Peace and Good Will" with him avery where. —SAItATI KEABLES HUNT, Our Hired Girl. hired girl, she's 'Liz tbatn Ann ; An' she can cook best things to eat I She ist puts dough iu our pie -pan, An' pours in onhapin"an's good an' sweet. An' nen.sbe salts it all on top With cinnamon; an' nen she'll stop An' stoop, an' slide it, ist ae slow, ,In the old cook -stove, so's 'tivon't slop An' gits,11 spilled ; nen bakes it—so cft's custard pie, first thing you know t An' nen she'll say : "Clear out o' my way! ',They's time ter tyr rk, an' time fer play. - Take yet dough an' run, child, run ; Er I cam't git no 000kin' done I" 'When our hired girl 'tends like she's mad, An' 6.1.ys folks got to walk the chalk When she's around, or wished they had 1 I play out 00 000 porch, an' talk 'To tle Raggedy Man 'at mows our lawn; An' lie says " Whew 1" an' non leans on ,His old crook -scythe, an' blinks his eye !An' sniffs all round and says " I swan 1 Ef my old nose don't toll me Hee It 'pears like I smell custard pies 1" An' nen hell say: " Clear out o' the way "They'thno fer work, an' time for play. ' Take yer dough au' run, child, run ; Er she °ain't gib no cookin' done 1" Her Ideal. Buffalo News: 'She wanted to reach an ideal; She talked of the lovely in art, 49he quoted from Emerson's Besays, And said she thought Howells had lehe doted on Wagnor's productions, She thought comic opera low, . And she played trying tunes on a zither, Keeping tiine with a sandal -plied too. ',She had dreams of a nobler existence— A. bimated, corsetleas place 'Where women would stand free and equal As (moons of a glorious race, But her biscuits were deadly creations That caused people's spirits to sink, And she'd viewe on matters religions That drove her relations to drink. 1311e'd opinione on co-education, But not an 'demon coke; ehe could analyze Spencer or Browning, But the row kitchen retige wouldn't bake. "She wanted to be esoteric, And she wore the most classical clothes; But she ended by being hysteric And contracting a cold in the nose. She studied of forces hypnotic, She believed in theosophy quite, 'She understood themes prchiS10ric And said that tbe faith euro vyas right. "She wanted te roach the ideal, And at clods unpootie would rall, ' And her husband wore fringe on his troutiere And fastened them on with a nail, • Chang, the famous Chinese Mont, has become a naturalized British otibjeot and >,ttn (lancet relives:la worker. DEACON'S CIIRISTMAS 1. Christmas Eve, 1793, and bitterly cold. It had mowed all the day before and all the night, and had only held tip about noon on the day which was now nearing its close. Iu those days the diatom° from New York in the direotion of what is now the town of Fordham was traversed by stage comehes, drawn by spanking four -horse teams, travelling by the old Boston post road. On this Christmas Eve the leesdero Plunged and plowed their way through the imam, snorting and emitting clouds of Aeons from their nostrils. After a while the vehicle paused before a wayside tavern in Wincheeter county, bearing a swinging and arathrevolutionary sign, the presentment of a soarlet-elad and handeoine cavalier, and the insoriptiou, "Marquis of Claremont Armo." There were but two passengers in the coaoh that night, a tall traveller in a elonched hat and thaggy overcoat, and a little girl whom he carried in his arms. As the horses were baited and the mania. man and groom went in for a "drop of something hot," the traveller slighting turned quickly a road leading northward from the inn. The man was good.looking, though foreign and sunburned of aspect. Yet he did not seem a stranger to the place. On through the snowdolad lanes and by the white fences he went his way, finally turning up a private walk through the piled -up drifts towards old Deacon Mar- ehall's homestead. "'Tis sweat to hear the honest watch. dog's bark bay deeponouthed welcome as we draw near home "—but this rnan fervently prayed that no watch.dog be aroueed by his noiseless approaoh to the old home. He saw the old farmhouse as he had so often seen it in boyhood, with it red walls and whitemapped roof, wish the candle light faintly shining through the rinse of the window panes. 't Oecasionally a sigh so deep as to be almost a sob burst from the man's bosom. The child was hashed and oonteht in its Where arms. As he passed through the trim yard gate, passed the old familiar butternut tree, he said to himself ; "They will be glad to see her and love her, but oh, God it's hard to part with her." When he reathed the farmhottee door he set the little one down on her feet in the equare, old-fitehioned porch. " Now baby, remember never to be afraid to do what papa tells you to do. You ere going to see grandpa and grandma and when your visit is out papa will ciente and bring you lots of sweeties and toys. Now you mast go right in when they open the door, and papa will go away for a little walk." The child clung to him for to moment—to terrible moment to him—and then stood bravely quiet, as he gave three rousing blows to the old brass knooker and tben swiftly retreated into the shadow of the trees. He saw the door open and an old white- haired man with a candle in his hand look out. He saw the gleam of the fireside in the old home for the first time in many years. He sow the child fearless and confident of weloome enter and then—ba still brave heart—he saw his mother, a tall, gentle -faced old matron, with snow-white hair, &ravages, stoop and lift the child in her arms and kiss it, as one who drinhs after long thirsting. The door closed, and to few moments later the man outside was in the return coach for New York, on hie way to be lost among the unknown thousands of the great city. IL Ten minutes before this scene Deacon Marshall and his good wife at before the blazing fire in the clean, snug, old-faith- ioned kitchen, while the busy housemaid, to stout, rosy Dutch lass of 18, plied her evening tasks. The appetizing smell of browning griddle cakes and fragrant to filled the room. Ths bitter winds howled outside, enhancing the blessed sense of home warmth and comfort. "It's mighty bad weather. I hope all the ohildren will get here to morrow, wife," said the descoln. " All the children, Ezra ?" answered the old lady in a tone ot reproach. "You know one will not be here. I always think of him in the holidays away out yonder in Mexioo or Wexas araong them outlandish people. "011, Ezra 1 he was a wild boy and a headstrong, but there's more sorter of sin than one, and you were worse than he when you drove the bey ont into the wide world 20 years ago ; 20 years ago come New Year's eve." Had the deacon lived in this age he would have rung the "chestnut bell," for he had heard sermons from his wife on his sorely repented ein fall mantna time and oft. The best of women will preach. " I have such a strange feeling about me this minute. I feel as if my boy was right here by me," she went on, forgetting that her " boy" was now a man of 35 or more. At this instant three startling raps on the knocker sounded through the old house. " It's that goochfor-nothin' Jake Mellen waiting till this time o' night to fetch them grooeries. Don't leave the slaplooks, Katrine, I'll open the door. And the deacon took up to candle and stalked through the pomp to the front door. He opened it. What a strange sight to see 1 Against the dark background of night and storm, the figure of a cherub child, a wee maid of 5 years, fair as to pearl, with bright eager eyes of heavenly blue and a soft fleecy mass of pale gold egcaping from her blue satin hood, and falling over her white far coat. She advanced fearlessly and piped out " I'm baby Marshall, and papa's bought me to danma. My mamma's dead Ion' time ego, and las' summer my break mammy Oosy die too, and baby want see danma.' • Another moment and the grandmother, with the thrilling cry of a woman's soul to an answered prayer, lifted her grandchild to her heart. Oh, the dear contact 1 WW1 it real—the firm, warm, little body she clasped—the pressure of the smiling, rosy lip ? Where is papa? Oh I my dear, where in papa ?" she cried, while the detmon looked on as ono raised from the dead, and Katrina gazed on the new-found treasure, and thonght of the atoriee she had read in Dutch folk lorerof the angel of the Christ- maa tide. " Papa don," cooed the little one. " He tam for baby offer 'while. Take die," and searching the recesses of her little pockets she produced a letter. The grandfather with shakiny, hands and faltering tonoo road, "Mother, dear mother, I have brought you my motherleao and only child. I know you will love and care for her as your own, and / don't think even father will be hard to her- When I want her I will come for her, bnt it may be long yeara 'first, it ever. I lefid an honest but wild life, and a Texan ranch or a Rio Grande camp is not the phase for her. 'or my child's aake 1 part trona her. Be good to her, mother. 'Your loving son, Wu, E. Nauman." A moment later an old man was strtmg.1- ing through the saowdrifte towards the village as fast as his rheumatic) legs could carry laim, Too late! He only herd the eche of the coachman's horn as the homes tore down the turnpike to New York. Baby Marshall was in her grandmother's lap and in:ailing brightly in her faee. /latrine piled the table with hot griddle °ekes, fragrant tea, sweet butter and golden honey. Farther and farther the stage carried the wauderer from the old home. 111. Christmas bells riuging over the land 1 Christmas Bendable glinting the farmesob. ing carpet of snow and picturesque tree boughs hang with icy diamonds. In the ohunshee meek man song swelling out on the clear, frosty air. 'Unto us a son is born, Unto us a king to give, Christ, the Loral " Old Mrs. Marshall always walked to (March Christmas morning, and SS she listened to the sweet tide of song her head bent lowly down and a prayer welled up from the poor old mother's soul : " Lord, I have waited so long. Let me see my boy's face again before I die! " In that moment the church cloak chimed 12 meridian. In that moment, its ohe recalled after- ward, peace spread its white wings above her and an angel voice seemed to whisper, "Ali is well.' Wkien she returned the family had assembled for the Cbriatmas dinner. • There was Rube, who had a good farm in the highlands, Rabe, the steady -going, a broad.shonldered, eturdy Saxon, with °his pretty, dark.eyed wife dressed in a new bleak silk with a real lame collar and ea& ; Marisnne, the belle of the family and the youngest, a lam of 18, blonde, debonair and roguish, with her goolalooking fiancee hovering beeide her, the sou of a well-tad:la farmer to the vicinity, whose daughter Marianne had jut been visiting for a few days. There, too, wee Alfred, the dootor, a portly, wellmeaning mem, and to little of a dandy in dress, as became a physician and bachelor, popular among the invalid ladies of Westchester. The deacon trudged in from hie own meeting house, where minieter and deacon had been holdiag private session of two hours over the book - sliding of some poor soul predoomed, acoording to their belief, to damnation. There was a gener&I hanchshaking of father and kissing of mother. The deaoon did not believe in kissing or indulging in the pro- fane luxury of a smile on the te'ithhath day, but Christmas, even essoording to his creed, was made for rejoicing. Amongst all the family that day a queen had besu enthroned, the waif who had arrived the eight before. A big, box hod come to her by Sam Dolan, tee carrier, and its contents showed that the wild Texan rover had not spared expense on his nate daughter. Gay in blue elle aad lace and ribbon, the httle thing tossed her curls and beamed delightedly, first on one. then on another, consoious of being the object of everybody's admiration. At last she cuddled up in her grand. motherni arma and fell softly asleep. Poor grandma! she felt repaid for those years of waiting and weariness as she cradled the little one's head on her breast and brashed her pale face against the fluffy silken hair. Just as everybody grew keenly Winery Katrina rang forth a welcome peal from the dinner bell. o (7-1 wanet, After the deacion's grime what to chorus of praises went up I Was there ever such delicione, fat, brown turkey as mother's? Who ever made such clear jelly ? And the tiny pig, roasted whole, with the apple in its month! and the mince pies, and whole pitchers of ruseet eider, ice cold! The perfumes of Araby the blest arose from the banquet. -- IV. But every feast meet have its end. The day lowered as evening came on; gusty clouds °hued each other. across tied' sky, and Rube, full to repletion, pushed book his chair and said he must be " gettin' up Ms team pretty soon, as he'd promised his wife they'd stay at her mother's, seven milts further up, for the eight." Just at thin moment Katrina, who had gone to the well for a pitober of fresh water, looked in at the door and beckoned mysteriously to old Mrs. Marshall, which caused her to make axone° and, leaving the room, to seek the spot to which the girl pointed. In the gloaming, beside the old " moss - covered bucket that hung in the well," goad a tall, stalwart man, who, as his mother advanoed, trembling and uncertain, held out his arms. " Mother 1 oh, mother 1" he said, with a hoarse sob in his voice. With ouch a cry ae only a mother oould understand, the poor, fragile creature threw herself upon the broad, sturdy bosom of the man before her—her lost child of so many yeats. What prayers, whet ilent tears, what longinge of heart had drained his mother's life of strength for his sake! " Mother, I told you I had lived an honest life." ' " Willie, do you think I did not feel that to be so?" "Well, I mean to say that I am ashamed to face no one; but when I went away that day I expected never to return until my baby was a young woman. I wandered down to the city and felt lonelier amid all those strange faces than I would on leagues of prairie with not a living thing in sight. I heard the bells of old Trinity chiming and pealing, and jest because I was so lonesome I turned into the church. I hod not been in such a place for years. The music lifted me right nut of myself, mother, and as 1 thought of the old home I bowed my head and said a prayer, the first for many a year, that I might return there and find a welcome. I will always remember that jag then the olook tolled oat 12. It marked the hour when I made up my mind to go home again." She led him along as when he was a little child up the olden path into the well - remembered room. "a1y son—baby's father—has come back home!" she said with a quiver in her voice, and buret into passionate team. Baby screamed joyously," Papa! papa I" Every one rose to their feet with startled Mee of welcome, except the deacon, who turned &then pale, and with a groan fell back in his chair. His son sprang to his side. " Why, father," he said cheerily, " is thio trour welcome ?" Hie bye touched Bee white, scant hairs, o tear glistened on the old man's face. " My son that was dead and is alive," the deacon murmured, "Thank God I thank God 14—Lizzie Cutler, in the Home 'Thurnal• When a htisband sees a bird trimtaing his wife's bonnet he &Immo thinks of the Accutately alid strictly speaking, there is no foundation in nattire or in natural laws why a set Of word a upon parehment ehould convey the dominion o land."--Blackstene. TEA TABLE GOSSIP LOY/i IS WAND, maid wont out to promenade • All See ell, turner Morning Her hair was Oanged, ; 0110 wee arrayed In brand new togs of neley Shade) So built around that theY displayed Her natural adorning, Her face was anything but sweet, Her step aught else than airy; No garment that elle wore was neat, And she had No. 7 feet' But yet the eaan sbe OfbrIa0 tO meet Called her his " little fairy," —Man proposes and woman poses. —An aching tooth may be little, but lite ervy. —Them are over a hundred railway stations in London. —A woman in New York furnishes love. letters at $1 apiece. —This year ie the centenary of the chinaney pot" hat. —Weetminster Hall is the largest room M England unsupported by pillars. —There are 200,000,000 copies of the smattered throughout the world. —The barber is a man who will serape on acquaintance one moment and out him the next. —A woman forgives where a man formate and that is the reason sine continues to let him mail her lettere. —There are said to be 1,500 Chinese laundries in New York city, earning over $3,500,000 annually. —There are few men who can live with- out an income, and perhaps fewer still that can live within one. —The Crown Prineeso of Denmark is the tallest prinoms 10 ±10 world. Her height is 6 feet and 3 ineheo. —" Is the swimmiag teacher busy ?" "Yes, ma'am; he's immersed in his bush nese jaat at preset" —The Camel—Here keep your tail out of my fodder! The Elephant—Well, you needn't get your book up. — Queen Viotoria haa a large hand and takes a 7•i glove. She wears about two dozen pairs during the year. —Lady Pauncefote is noted at Washing- ton mg a pedestrian, and often walks from house to house in making calls. —He was a mean husband who begged his wife not to make any more cake until he had paid hie life ineuranoe dues. — There is some discussion about taxing posters in London. In Frame the yield from this resume is $1,400,000 annually. —Customer—You will at least give me credit for my good intentions. Tailor— Oh, yes, but no more credit for clothes. —The deaconesses of Northern Germany have started a home for spinsters, or, as they call it, for "standing alone ladies." —At the beginning of the present century there were in the United States five mil- lionaires. Now there are seven thousand. —The most bashful girl ever heard of was the young lady who blushed when she was asked if she had not been courting eleep. —" You were dissatisfied with your pastor some months ago?" "Yoe." "Hoa he resigned yet? " "No; but the congrega- tion is." —James—What, that fellow a society mon! Bosh! Jaok—He ia. James— Imposaible. He damn's; park his hair in the middle. —The farra.house of Gl&dstone's anises- tors,edstemes, lords of Arthurshiel, is e it=standing in Lanarkshire, at least 200 yams old. —Mrs. Growl—I must discharge that new girl. Husband—Why? Mrs. Growl —She does her work so well I ean't find fault with her. —Catting off a wife's nose is still favorite mode of punishment of jealoae hue - bands in India. —Minister—You ought to whip your boy for fiehing on the Sabbath. Deacon—I intend to, sir ; bat I thought I'd let him clean them firet. — "That Sallie Harkins is the greatest girl for getting bargains at second hand." "Isn't she? • I understand she's going to marry a widower." —" So you called at Mr. Jones' abont that little bill," said the merchant to the clerk. "Yee, sir." "And what did you find out ?" "Mr. Jones." —The English fads are still popular. The very brightest criticism you can poss on a play or an opera, a book or painting, ie to say it is "rather good." —A wocasn expects recognition in this world on &meant of her husband's position, and a man ex,e‘cts reoognition in the next on aoconht of his wife'a religion. —The" Limbless League" is the latest political organization. It flourishes in Pennsylvania and bas 2,700 members who have lost either an arm or a leg. —Justin H. MoCarthy, son of the Irish leader, ie just 30 years old. He has pub• lished eleven books and seven plays. He is tall and thin, with a very small head. Ho prayeth bEst who loveth best All things both groat and small; For the dear God that loveth us He made and lovoth all. —Wardens and keepers say that, as a rale, twenty.year prisoners don't survive their terms, and that as a rule, also, they are the best behaved men in their charge. —" Our engagement is broken, Mr. Fluffy." "But I—I—" " Exauses are not necessary. Take back your ring. No man need come to woo me with a brass band." —Among the largest land -owners in the world io the Duke of Buccleuch, who has deeds for 400,000 aores. His possessions include the romantio ruins of Melrose Abbey. --" There will be an oyster party at the rectory next Tuesday," announoed the min- iater, "and one of our kind parishioners hae offered to supply the oyster for that occasion," --Qaeen Victoria, drives out at 4 o'clook every day no matter what the weather ratty be. She is clonally accompanied by the princess Beatrice, the lady-in-waiting and an invited gueet. —"1 would rather be Shuman sandwieh, With the gospel on my breast and back, and rescue souls, than preach in a frescoed temple to a handful of old men and women who have gone to church so long that they have sacred rheumatism," is the way a Chicago clergyman shook up a small but select congregation. —The first number of a now weekly peri. odioal called Mistress and Maid has jot been publiehed in London. Its object is to find good servants for employara and good places for servants. —A Scottish paper statect that Hon. Oliver Mowat, Premier of Ontario, whose ancestors were connected with Dannet, Caithneasothire, hao presented two oilver °elvers for nee at the communion in the parish ohuroh of that place. --Habitual drunkardo, it appears, have alwaya their pot idiosyncrasies. One Wo- man Was ha prison 167 times in 11 years, fdr Smashing windows; a DISI1 oleo well known to the police stole nothing /HO bibles ; with another epodes were altveda the coveted articles; and in two other female omega shoes and ohawls were the objects invariably that were misappro. priated by them. —Miss Camile (the actress) --It is disap- pointment that drives men to drink. Miss Critique—Yes ; I notioed a great many go out between the acts at the play llast uteht. —Among the vast engineering prpjects that mark the dosing decade of the century is the proposed tunnel under Northum- berland Straits to unite Prince Edward Island with the Nova Bootie, mainland. —Mother --When the new minister calls, Tommy, you musn't make any remarks about his olothes. Tommy (after the min- ister is seated)—Ma told me not to say anything about your clothes. I don't see anything tho matter with them. —The ten largest citiee in the United States are : New York 1,54501 Boston........... 441,507 Chicago 1,099,133 Baltimore 438,547 Philadelphia,,1,046,252 San Francisco 297,980 Brooklyn 604,377 Cincinnati.... 2a6,309 St. 460,357 Cleveland 261,546 —One of the most beautiful sentiments to be found in the English language is that written by Horaoe Mann in which he says: "Lost, somewhere between eunrise and sunset, two golden hours, eaoh Bet with 60 diamond minutes. No reward is offered for their return for they are gone forever." 'Who's that weary looking fellow Who perspires at every pore, And who looks as if existence Was the biggest kind of bore?" "He's a man who's life's a burden And who wishes it were o'er— He's a bargain connter salesman In an uptown dry goods store." —The situation in Ireland at this mo- ment is very muoh the same as that whioh suggested, many years ag,o, the following lines to an Irish author: "0 Irishmen, yer the most peculiar nation, The queerest people above the sod; rightist' like dtvvils for conciliation, An' hatin' each other for the love of God 1" —Beauty ts a very fine thing to have, but style is vastly better. —A man who lit his pipe in e, powder mill had a brief bat powerful tenon ou the evila of the use of tobacco. —Poor Smitla, when he had to sing baby to sleep during the holidays while " mom - mer " was oat shopping, used to sing it : " Bay, buy, baby." A President's expenses amount in four years to about $80,000. His income for the same period being $200,000 it isnot difficult to see that he has an exoellent chance to start a bank account. Hints to Housekeepers. Ear faded green blinds rub on a little linsedd Egg stains can be removed by rubbing them with common table salt. Pat bits of camphor gum in trunks or drawers to prevent the mime from doing any injury. To treshen leather chairweate, valisea, bago, etc., rub them with the well -beaten white of an egg. To prevent tin pans from rusting rub fresh lard on them and set in a hot cyan until thoroughly heisted. To keep flies off gilt frames boil three or four onions m a pint of water, than apply with a soft brash to the frames. Soak clothes that fade over night in water in which has been dissolved one once of sugar of lead to a pailful of rain water. When washing fine white flannels add a tablespoonful of pulverized borax to a pailful of water. This will keep them soft and white. To banish red ants from the pantries, strew whole cloves around the shelves. The same is also considered a good moth ex- terminator. When whalebones have become bent they may be used again by first soaking them in tepid water for a few hours and then drying them. To keep flat -irons dean and smooth rub them with a piece of wax done up in a Moth, then scour or rub them on a paper strewn with coarse salt. Oil of turpentine or benzine will remove spots of paint or varnish from cotton or woolen goods. They should be washed in map suds after the application. If paint has been epeatered on window panes, wet the spots with water and rub thoroughly with a new silver dollar; or they may be washed with hot, thrum vinegar. To set delicate colors in embroidered handkerchiefs, soak them ten minutes before washing in it pail of water in which a dessertspoonful of turpentine has been stirred. Badly "Gone." Now York Herald: Johnny (entertain. ing the young man before " Sis " entered the parlor)—I 'lewd you'd never come book here any more. Young Man—Why so, Johnny? Johnny—Sia eaid yesterday you was clean "gone." A w0B4O141'0 TRASBDII. 41•1••••••1. "' Sob" Soariettei Christmas Drunk Nay (lost Min Hie Lite. " Bob " Scarlett, formerly a baggagernan on'the Grand Trunk and one of the beet. known fi,guree around Toronto, lies dying at his boarding-hQuse in Regent street, Toronto, from the result of injuries re. ceivod 00 Christrnae night. Aboat 10.38 00 Thusday night he was in the Aquatic saloon, Yonge street, demanding liquor, but Mr. jarnes Douglas, the proprietor', refueed to serve him. Bearlett at this got mad and started to raise a row. Mr. Douglas then put him out. The next heard of Scarlett was at Qneen and Ontario streets about an hour later, when Deteotivo Alf Cuddy and a street oar driver saW hini staggering towards Regent street. He ar- rived at Joie boarding house about midnight with his face and nook badly battered and oovered with blood. At first he was un- able to speak, but after resting asked that a doctor be sent for. Dr. Mental answered the summons and found Bearlett suffering from the effects of a terrible beating. He had been kicked in the groin and stomach, and other portions of the body were badly bruised. He claimed that he had been beaten in the Aquatic and that Mr. Douglas had kiaked him in the stomach. Mr. Douglas positively denies that he is in any degree responsible for Scarlett's condition. He merely shoved him out of his place, and believes that the man's injuries were received on his way home. At 2 o'clock this morning he was very low. Condensed Fashions. Thistles are popular as pin heads. Sleeves are full and high at the top. Turquoise blue is to be a ruling oolor in. hats. Boas made of °mike' feathers cost a pretty penny. Almost every fall cape has a high Medici collar. The crack price in London for a gentle- man's evening suit is $100 Half.low bodices and long sleeves are to be seen on new dinner dresses. Royal blue will be a conspicuous oolor this season, especially in millinery. Embroidered or painted or embossed leather jackets are worn with all kinds of dreeses. English brides are said not to buy any- thing like the amount of finery that their mothers did. Heliotrope as a tint for gowns and bon- nets is dying very hard, but it is no longer a fashionable color. Florists now resort to rooeolyeing in order to produce the colors demanded by eooentrio ladies of fashion. An English dressmaker who is trying to me,ke o " hit " has made a bodices for a cus- tomer whieh is high on one side and low on the other. Little Things That Tell. It is the little things that tell—littler brothers for instance, who hide away in the parlor while sister entertains her beau, eta. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are little things thst tell. They tell on the liver and tone up the system. So smolt and yet ao effectual, they are rapidly eapplanting the old-style pill. An infallible remedy for Sick and Bilious Headaches, Biliousness and Constipation. Put up in vials, con- venient to carry. Their usa attended with no discomfort. A Suitable Gift. New York News:Brief—What would be an appropriate present for me to give ray typewriter girl? Grief—If she is anything like mine I would recommend a spelling book. Looks Bad. Harper's Bazar : "What's tho prospect?" asked the gosling, Of the proud and haughty turkey; And the monarch of the barn -yard aruftly answered : "Pretty murky," A Chinese criminal, to avoid the conse- quences of his gent, killed himself. The law, not to be entirely outwitted, exhumed him, cut off his head and exhibited it as a warning. To any ono ignorant of the man- ner of his death the lesson was jest as im- pressive as if he had been decapitated alive. There io a certain earnestness about the sluggish Chinaman after all. Colonel Greytop— Miss Uptown, I would like to introduce an old friend of mine—a soldier—one of the Balaklava six hundred. Miss Uptown—Om of the six hundred f Oh, Colonel, hadn't I better see mamma first ? —Half a million clerks etre employed in London. D. C. N. L 9. 91. • - THE BEST itJCltl MEDICINE. sOLD IliillOGISTS 1111731t7WHI'lliE. e" Nellie Had a Secret. ) • Rochester Herald: Nellie Pearay, who ) was hanged in London the other day, car- ried a searet to the grave. Her last request to her eolioitor wae to insert in the Madrid newspapers over her Initials an advertise- ment with these words: "Have not betrayed." Who says 8 woman never kept anything? .a. Good Test. Elmira Gazette: " Let me tell wife," said Allen G. Thurman when informed of hio nomination for the Vice -Presidency. " Let me wire my ma," said Senator. elect Irby of South Carolina when to breath. less messenger told hi txt he had been eleoted. The world will agree that the wife and mother who win the firat thought under such circumstances are all right. Not Over Complimentary. Epoch: Mabel (oonfidentially)—I was awfully Stink on you once, Jack. Jack (gratified) --When was that? Mabel—Before I knew you. An Awkward Predicament. Roehester Herald : A bundred and forty religions and only one heaven. Dear, dear 1 Ifletsheinterallantriate entertrannealgew•- - tt S ) ) ) ) Alrflar,lfnk ;e121P.VefiVa'e • ES CURE SU PAN ) On its First Stages,. 1 Palatable as Milk. Be sure you get the genuine in Salmon color wrapper; sold by all Druggists, at 500. and $t,00. SCOTT & BOWNE, Belleville. APV•• arta.00,..,•.,!•••••.1.1frftAr• ,0581, 01054e Nyto, * cual TO THE EDITOR :—Please inform your readers that I have a positive remedy-ft/Ma above named disease. By its timely use thousands of hopeless cases have been pertnapentlyc I shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy FREE to anyds your readers wato rrateri sumption if they will send me their Expeess and Post Offiee Address. Respectfaiew Ta 4. SLO tot.c... Ian Wes* Adaloildel f., VORONTO. ONTARIO.' 1 MI 2 ..7 --:',r,g1 a i UN AWAY YEARLY. 'When i say Cure 1 do not met" THOUSANDS OF BOTTLES merely to stop them for a titne, and tag ?lave ti 6m return again. 1 Illill itA ea Iti IRADInALCURIE. I have made the disease cii Eptioney or miffing; Sicicntate a life.long study, I Wat,ra 61* iny, remedy to CuPdth Worst eases, Because Others have failed is Do reason for riot view receivieg 00000. Se et. nee for a treatise and a Paten Hi:Ai:lei of tny infallillle Utlastfy. Give Eameme ann ost Offite. 11c:est,: yon hot ling for a trial, and it will ena) ye,: Address •s.-Ple a, titooirr. J,�o eranch Office, ma vtige,7' ADISLASOM orictek.r, l'OROtre4lo